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All states have an exemption for religious purposes.
Having searched the New York Penal code for the the terms “sacramental,” “alcohol minors” and other similar searches, I could find no such exemption for providing alcohol to minors for sacramental reasons.
If you believe such an exemption exists in New York State, I ask you to show it to me. You can find the New York State Penal Code (along with a search function) at the following link:
http://public.leginfo.state.ny.us/menugetf.cgi?COMMONQUERY=LAWS
The Wolf
I do not know of any parent that dont let thier kids have ANY alchohol. Do you not let your kids have some kiddush wine? Do you not let your kids have a l’chaim? Do you not let your kids drink some beer whe by a sholom zochor per se?
Now you know of one — me.
My oldest is 17. Now I allow him to have a some wine by kiddush — but that’s only in the last year or so. The only other time I allow my kids (over bar/bas mitzvah) to have alcohol is on Pesach — and then diluted with grape juice.
I believe that I have been a positive role model for my kids on the responsible use of alcohol as I have *never* been drunk in my life. Neither has Eeees, for that matter — and our kids know it. And they know that if they go somewhere, they are not allowed to have alcohol.
Yes, we drink a little bit (usually some wine or liqueur — we don’t drink hard liquor) — but our kids see us using it in moderation and responsibly.
The Wolf
Why do I get the feeling that those who very strident in denouncing yichus are not proud of their family history?
I have not been very strident and I have been very open about the fact that I have no special yichus. I have nothing to be ashamed of, but nothing particularly special either.
Is there something wrong in being proud of your family history?
Is there anything wrong with it? No… but I think it’s silly to take pride in something that you have no hand in.
I’m a big Yankees fan, and when they win, it makes me happy. But I take no pride in it… I didn’t pitch an inning or come to bat. I didn’t design the training program or help clear the field after games. I didn’t engineer the trades that brought in the stars or scout out the rookies. In short, I did nothing to help the team, so why should I feel pride when they win (or shame when they lose)? Likewise, even if I had illustrious ancestors, *I* didn’t do anything to make them illustrious, so why should I pride myself on them? By all means, cherish your family history (I do), but I see no reason to be excessively prideful about it.
I would take far more pride in the accomplishments of my kids than in those of my ancestors.
The Wolf
Whenever you feel comfortable doing so.
FWIW, we told our parents right away.
The Wolf
in other words the question at hand is the concept of meeting someone for a few minutes, or just looking at them once, or going on a date or two and deciding you are in love with them.
Guess what? That happened to us as well. We both knew within a *very* short period of time that it was not a matter of “if” we would marry, but “when.”
The Wolf
you have to agree that could be an exception
Why do *I* have to agree to anything? I’m not the one who made the statement. Ask the one who made the statement if converts are an exception.
The Wolf
This secular idea from the goyim of “falling in love” as popularly used, is far far from something a Yid does.
Then I guess that I am far, far from a Yid since I have been in love with Eeees for well over twenty years — and I don’t plan on ever stopping.
The Wolf
FWIW, I grew up with two dogs — a cocker spaniel and a dachshund. Were it not for the fact that several of my sister’s family members are highly allergic, we would have a dog now.
Instead, we have hamsters. In fact, right now I’m watching my hamster as he stands on top of his wheel.
But then again, being a canine myself, I guess some people that I should not have myself in my house.
The Wolf
I apologize for coming off so strongly.
No need to apologize to me. If you feel I’m wrong about something, never apologize for civil disagreement, however strong. While you may disagree with me, you have always been civil and respectful — and so, I have no complaints against you. I never have a problem with people who disagree with me, as long as they do so in a civil and respectful manner.
wolf will not admit this however
I certainly have my faults. Lying, however, is not among them. If I say that I am serious about something, then I am serious about it.
The Wolf
Pedigree does matter- for dogs and horses.
Well, even if pedigree does matter for me (wolves are canines, of course), I’m still perfectly fine having no well-known ancestors.
The Wolf
The Yidden at the time of the churban had much better weapons at their disposal (such as the ability to levitate the city), if you read the Medrashim. They just didn’t help, since Hashem wanted them to lose.
If they had AK-47’s, the bullets would have just plopped out, with the next one complaining how hard it was to push out the first bullet.
For Heaven’s sake, it was only a joke. Ease up.
The Wolf
Several people have used the word “anachorism” [sic]. What is the actual word you mean?
My guess is that he means “anarchism” (i.e. the idea that there should not be any central authority) or “anachronism” (i.e. the idea that we should go back in time and place futuristic objects in the past — i.e. like giving the Jews AK-47s to fight the Babylonians to prevent the first churban.)
My guess is on the latter. 🙂
The Wolf
That is not a issur M’Dirabannan. There is a Cherem on those who do it (I know that is lawyering, but it is a major distinction).
What, exactly, is this “major distinction?” I fail to see one. Saying that something is a cherem is the same as saying that it is forbidden.*
The Wolf
* Lest you say that the distinction is that the second marriage is, post facto, valid, remember that the marriage of a kohen and a divorcee is also, post facto, valid, but yet forbidden.
I was told by R Shraga Neuberger (he said this in shiur, not just to me) that everyone that’s frum nowadays is b/c of some ancestor that was a gadol
Are geirim not frum?
The Wolf
I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m rather happy that I don’t have any impressive yichus that I’m aware of. I don’t have the temptation to “name drop” or play “my dad is better than your dad” games with anyone. I can simply be myself.
Of course, in the eyes of some, that just makes me “gutter trash” or the like, but I don’t care. If people are willing to judge me as less than they are because I don’t have the right ancestors, then that reflects far more on them than on me.
The Wolf
Perhaps there is a deeper meaning, similarly, perhaps there is a deeper meaning to the Rambam’s statement about nicknames, etc. Why take one at face value, and not the other?
Because, IMHO, it more sense to say that the Rambam is talking straight than to say that the absolute worst person in the world (a mass murderering kofer) could somehow get into Olam HaBah because he recited a Psalm three times a day.
That’s my opinion. You’re free to disagree, of course… but if so, then I think we just need to agree to disagree.
The Wolf
There is actually a Bach that says the Rabbanan CAN NOT Asser something that the Torah explicitly says is mutar.
Polygamy?
The Wolf
Wolf, when are you going to realize that your satire is just going over people’s heads?
Why do you assume I’m engaged in satire?
The Wolf
exactly eruv is not a “loophole” but it was an enactment of the Rabbaim to allow carrying which an forbidden m’ doraisa.
I think you might have made a typo here.
An eruv will only allow you to carry in areas where it is Rabinically forbidden. It will NOT allow you to carry in an area where it is assur min HaTorah.
The Wolf
what about seeing eye dogs…
My off-the-cuff guess would be that since seeing-eye dogs serve a functional purpose for Shabbos, they are not muktzah.
As always, CYLOR.
The Wolf
Are the fools who yelled go ask your LOR going to yell at The Wolf for asking an identical question above?
OK, I’ll make you happy…
Wolf, go ask your LOR!! 🙂
The Wolf
The Halacha is,By Aveilus like the lenient view , verses the question at hand , maybe A person that could come to improper thought might have to leave the premises If we hold that through a recording there would be KI
Is it? Do you have a source for that?
The Wolf
Even if your in a taxi wher the music is on. He’s not michuyov to close the music even if you ask him. He is listening for himself.
Of course he’s not required to turn off the radio for you. But that wasn’t the question. The question in this case would be, if he won’t, is the Avel required to leave the taxi immediately.
The Wolf
Call again this evening. They make decisions later in the day and will probably suspend it.
Agreed. I would be very surprised to find alternate side not suspended the rest of the week.
Meters, on the other hand, will probably be back in effect soon.
The Wolf
Since winning a lottery has an extremely low probability, it’s stupid to buy a ticket. Not assur, not evil, just stupid. Human nature, we live with it.
I view it as a form of entertainment. For $1, I buy the right to fantasize for a few hours about what I’ll do if I win. It’s among the cheaper forms of entertainment.
The chances of winning a lottery are usually so small that you don’t expect to win when playing.
It therefore can not be considered gambling.
It most certainly can. For starters, there are many people who, unfortunately, *do* expect to win. In addition, even seasoned gamblers understand that every game *must* favor the house — so no one can be said to be able to “expect” to win.
In the end, it’s gambling. Even I, who buy a ticket as a form of entertainment, still view it as gambling.
The Wolf
20 years ago no frum jew went to college
Considering the fact that twenty years ago I was in college, I can categorically state that this statement is false. Not only was I in college, there were many other frum Jews in college as well — including many from yeshivish backgrounds who learned by day and went to college at night.
The Wolf
Similar question: Must an avel immediately leave a store if they play music?
The Wolf
buying a lottery ticket is NOT gambling IF you only buy one.
Of course it’s gambling.
Whether or not it’s acceptable within halacha is a different question — but, undoubtedly, it *is* gambling.
The Wolf
Do you say Ashrei three times a day?
Yes I do. So do you believe that a complete kofer can simply “hedge his bets” by saying Ashrei three times a day? Or might there be a deeper meaning to that Gemara?
The Wolf
What criteria did you use to determine which kid needs which yeshiva?
The style of learning, the hashkafic outlook of the schools and my kids (believe it or not, my kids are not hashkafic carbon copies of each other or myself), the academic qualities of the school and the academic abilities of my kids, the social environment of the schools and my kids (there is a wide range of social skills among my kids) and the personality of my kids and the character of the student body.
Taking those factors (and others) into account, we determined which was the best school for which kid. I’m positive that neither son would do as well as they are doing if they swapped schools.
Again, I can’t stress it enough — you can’t just look for the best school. You have to find the best school for your kid.
The Wolf
labubby,
Let me give you some hard-earned parenting advice (although, if you are truly a bubby, I would think you would be aware of this already as you have more parenting experience than I do).
Do not focus on a list of the “best yeshivos.” The yeshiva you should be searching for is not the “best yeshiva” but rather the best yeshiva *for your son*. Just because a yeshiva is a “top yeshiva” that does not mean that it is necessarily right for your kid. You have to know your kid’s personality, temperament and academic ability. If you send your kid to a “top yeshiva” and it’s not right for him, you’ve lost far more than you gained.
Sadly, I’ve seen parents blindly chase “the best yeshiva” without regard to whether it was right for their particular kid. They either wanted the prestige of being associated with “the best yeshiva” or figured that because it was good for one of their kids that is must be good for all their kids*.
Do me a favor — instead of focusing on “the best yeshiva,” find the one that’s right for your kid. It may turn out that the “the best yeshiva” is the right one — but don’t focus the search solely on the reputation of the yeshiva while ignoring the particular needs of your kids.
The Wolf
* And, yes, I practice what I preach. I have two boys in high school — and they are in two different high schools because they are two different kids with different academic, religious and social needs. The high school that my oldest is in works for him — but was not right for his younger brother. We didn’t even apply to that school for him (and not because we’re not happy with that school).
OMG, Wolf, you are laining at night??? I think they may have to build some new sections in gehenom just for you. They have never had anybody that bad before.
I’m sorry if I was not clear. I *prepare* for laining at night.
The only times I actually lain at night are on Simchas Torah and Purim — and in both of those cases, it is the halacha to do so.
The Wolf
Wolf, I realize it may seem puzzling why you are being punished for the bitul Torah of your kids, even though it is not your fault. However, there is nothing I can do. I just work here. You will still be going to gehenom because of it. Get used to it, and make the best of it while you are there. Rules are rules.
OK, whatever. My God only punishes people in the afterlife for things within their control.
The Wolf
Wolf, that is yet another reason why you are going straight to gehennom. (Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.)
I’m confused. Why would you think that I am going to hell because my kids’ schools chose to close for the day? That is something that is completely and utterly out of my control.
The Wolf
Scrabble.
Backgammon.
Whenever I play those games, I always manage to maintain a good conversation while playing. And, of course, they’re fun.
The Wolf
For the record, I don’t believe that this question was truly randomly chosen (as per the title) out of all the possible sha’alos that could have been asked. 🙂
The Wolf
So would you pleeeeaaase stop with this nonsense already?
It’s not nonsense. It is how I honestly, truly feel.
I’m constantly told that I have no right to disagree with Rabbi Akiva (reading “outside books”), Rabbi Miller (owning a TV), my Rosh Yeshiva (not wearing hat/jacket by davening), the Rambam (using nicknames) or anyone else (all the other things) in the accepted canon of rabbinic leadership. If I have no right to disagree, and they all agree that I have no chelek in Olam HaBah, who am I to disagree? And if I dare to follow a rav who offers a lenient opinion, all I hear is “is your rav greater than Gadol X?”
Heck, I get shouted down here anytime I even try to respectfully disagree with any of the above. Now that I agree with them I’m catching flack? I can’t win. If I agree, I’m doing wrong. If I disagree (even respectfully), I’m doing wrong.
So fine. I’m maskim to Rav Miller. I’m maskim to the Rambam. I’m maskim to my former Rosh Yeshiva. And I’m maskim to everyone else — and that’s good for me. Now I don’t have to worry about doing mitzvos for reward — I can do them just for the sake of doing them. I’ve accepted my lot — why can’t you?
The Wolf
Confirmed. All three of mine are off tomorrow.
The Wolf
Wolf: At least you, unlike a prusta goy, will have a chelek in Olam Haboa after your short stint where you insist you are headed.
Kind of you to say so, but I, in fact, have no chelek in Olam HaBah. We’ve been over this, remember? I own a TV, I call my wife and kids by nicknames, I’ve read “outside books,” I don’t wear a hat/jacket by davening (as per a former Rosh Yeshiva of mine)… Preparing my laining at night is just the tip of my wickedness.
The Wolf
Interesting.
To be fair, I did not realize that you were talking about something that involved a substantial effort. I did not realize that you were talking about reciting the ENTIRE sefer tehillim.
The Wolf
Thanks for the hope guys, but I’m afraid I’m still going to hell. It’s not just Friday night — if Yom Tov comes out during the week, I prepare the laining for that the night before too. In addition, the majority of my prep for laining Megillas Esther is usually done at night as well.
The Wolf
At least one of my kids is already off tomorrow. I would not be surprised if all three are before all is said and done.
The Wolf
do i have a gambling problem?
Signs of problem gambling include:
- Preoccupation with gambling
- Being secretive about gambling/lying when confronted about it
- Increasing bet amounts
- Trying unsuccessfully to stop
- Chasing gambling losses with more gambling
- Restless or irritable when not gambling
- Committing crimes to finance gambling
- Jeopardizing relationships, jobs, education or career opportunities because of gambling
If you have any of those symptoms, you may have a problem. Otherwise, probably not.
The Wolf
(Full disclosure: I occasionally buy one [and only one] lottery ticket when the pot is sufficiently large.)
Al pi kabballah there are some people who refrain from saying pesukim at night.
Oh well, I guess that’s another reason I’m going to hell. When I prepare the laining for Shabbos morning, I always do it Friday night.
The Wolf
Some people have such a minhag? You learn something new every day.
The Wolf (who clearly has no problem saying Tehilim at night)
Blueprints,
Is there any practical difference? Will you act differently depending on whether you get the additional schar or not?
The Wolf
(unless can’t handle teaching)
He did not indicate one way or the other.
The Wolf
I heard its a Zchus to yashu’s neshama(however thats speeled) because it was his birthday.
Based on that reasoning, should we also not learn on Adolf Hitler’s* birthday (19 Nissan)?
The Wolf
* I don’t mean to invoke Godwin. Feel free to substitute anyone else upon whom we can all agree with an evil person.
Tutoring? The time you spend tutoring is still learning.
The Wolf
Ah, okay. No one told me this was in the context of Shnayim Mikra… I thought he was talking about learning in general.
Makes more sense now. At least that’s one less reason why I’m going to hell.
The Wolf