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Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant
3. Social pressure
Girls are absolutely for seminaries, and schools are telling them that their life will not be a life without it. Absolute madness. The patients taking charge of the asylum. This is deplorable and annoying and destructive to the yiddishkeit that we are trying to teach.Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant2. Seminary v. HS
Why are we in the position that kids who spent 12-14 years in Jewish places of learning, require additional 1-2 years in an exciting environment to strengthen their neshomos?A) One answer: simply passing time in a dangerous moment when parental control is off, and a future husband is still learning Baba Kama. Seems like any other productive occupation – working, safe college, helping run the home – would also work. Maybe, after communities and schools help strengthen authority of parents so that girls at 18 accept their advice.
B) Seminaries actually teach something at higher level. Then, maybe need to ask a question – was it possible to teach THAT earlier? Possibly, the school system reflects the idea that kids will have more years to learn. What if HS is aware that girls not going to seminary and need to learn the “adult” things now – at 16 or 17? Maybe, different high schools are required who are capable to do that.
I’ve seen baalos teshuva learning during college and getting to a marriageable state in 2-3 years, without having much hesoron of missing on 12 years of pre-learning.
This affliction is not unique to Jewish school. Public schools similarly have “pre-pre-algebra”, algebra 1,2,3 .. for years. Kids are capable of learnings xs and ys without drawing the stress for years.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantGirls seem to generally like the experience, recommend it to each other, and this might be the first question they ask each other when introduced. That is seminaries achieved the goal of making themselves the default option.
there are multiple questions here, not just one:
1) what are they to do anyway after HS? Unless you follow gemora that presumes girls mostly married after bas mitzva, you have an answer. Otherwise, she would be learning, working, or going to college.
a) Learning – in this case, doing it in Israel is a reasonable choice, especially for those who are going in into chinuch later. In Bava Basra discussion of schools (for sons), going to Yerushalaim is a second choice that was made after being taught at home: enthusiastic teachers in holy environment
b) Working – post-HS jobs are not always attractive. To work in a school, having 1-2 years of seminary would be helpful, although not recoup the pay, of course.
c) College – for those who send kids to a college away from home, a year of seminary might help to strengthen them spiritually. Also, many provide college credits that are at least acceptable by a couple of Jewish colleges that provide safe spiritual environment at a price (price of a college with better academics).
d) Safe college – a commuter or online college, and there is parental supervision and local learning and socializing options. [There is a 20-yo old article in some OU magazine by a campus Rabbi (sic!) telling people to send kids to local colleges, instead of “American tradition” of sending them away].
In this case, the seminary is not so useful and may be also not conducive to the girl’s development (exposing to additional teachers with some ideology) and possibly not able to use those credits when used in local/online colleges.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantI don’t think it is forbidden to entry. It is probably forbidden to daven there (or by their rules?). R Soloveichik ruled, I think, that one can not go to shofar blowing to a R- place even if there is no alternative
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantCTL > secretary of Transportation does not run the day to day operations of the FAA.
I don’t know about this case, but there is a general tendency in government to work on what is visible to the bosses and public and ignore the rest. So every little item that is PC or otherwise inane by itself is not a disaster, but all together, they end up with people spending 90% of their time and money on secondary issues and ignoring, to some degree, the main ones, not even mentioning of wasting the money we gave them.
Also, analyzing one disaster will not give us a trend of what happened. For example, a number of times someone brakes abruptly is predictive of a chance of getting into an accident. So, you need to look at statistics of “pre-disasters” – cases where there were “almost collisions”, etc and see if they are increasing.
January 12, 2023 1:37 am at 1:37 am in reply to: why is everyone arrested called a suspect? #2155738Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantCTL > Armed man arrested
a description can be also subtle. Some people are called by where they live – New Yorker, others – by profession – accountant. One famous rioter was called “motorist”. This is not a libel, but a subtle hint that he had no job or address to describe with.
January 10, 2023 9:39 pm at 9:39 pm in reply to: why is everyone arrested called a suspect? #2155430Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantCTL, thanks for the explanation!
January 9, 2023 11:15 pm at 11:15 pm in reply to: why is everyone arrested called a suspect? #2155150Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantif police is not sure he is the right guy and also not sure tht the act was a crime, then it is sfek sfeika and he should be let go.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantDivide your dental work in batches and do them by year. Sometimes dentists say that a lot is required, but some can “wait”. My, reasonably responsible, paskened one of my teeth a trefah and proscribed an immediate tehiyas hamesim – 10 years ago. I paskened that when a sofek, shev velo taaseh is good enough. He (dentist) is still looking at him (the tooth) every year while thinking about yeshiva tuition he can exchange this tooth for.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant“way after” – up to a year. If the chassan is not ready by the day he committed, he is paying for her mezonos, so it is pretty sure that a pre-bas-mitzva girl will be in the shver’s house within a year.
Btw, you know it is not recommended to live with your wife’s parents – as her mother may be about your age … (Rav’s words, not mine)
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantthere are also halochos when a girl can/needs to use birth control not to endanger her health when she is not yet ready for pregnancy. This is not an impression, pretty definite.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantCTL, we are on the same page here. I had some of my (small number of) employees WFH for years, including working from their own states.
We are, in a sense, going back to the dignity of personal work that existed before the industrial age, when people worked in their yards or in small businesses. See Bava Basra discussions about what businesses are allowed or not in the courtyards – from tanneries to schools.
Also, halochos of employees are very sensitive to their dependency. For example, employer should give an advance notice when laying someone off, but the employee can quit any time (subject to not damaging the project). Forcing him to work after the notice makes him in some way an eved. So, the more freedom and flexibility employee can have, the more he is a free person.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantn0, I don’t know whether Gemora mentions the age, maybe it does not bother as it is understood that the girls are interested in marriage and not distracted by books or jobs. But, the impression from various halochos related to marriage creates an impression that if by the bas mitzva the girl is still in the father’s house, it is time to say tehilim. This explains why nobody was clamoring for BY high schools at that time.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantanother change positively affecting Yidden – decline in business travel with ensuring kashrus, davening and sholom bayis problems. Some forecasted that it will come back for competitive reasons – when one supplier goes to drink with the client, others would need to follow. Not sure this happened. I see travel back but there is less of it. Nobody expects you anymore to jump on a plane for an one hour conversation, or at least you can politely decline.
January 8, 2023 8:28 pm at 8:28 pm in reply to: The Bringing of Meshiach through Sheliach Hakein #2154868Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantwhy bump? I thought this was settled. Did Munkach move to to Area C or join the government?
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantCTL, I also wanted to reply but then, Little Froggie is probably not yet in the workforce so why disturb his fantasies?
The way WFH transformed the work environment is still an unfinished story. For the Jews specifically, there are now so many places where you have no problems with erev shabbos, taking chol hamoed off, staying away from pritzut and social drinking, healthy home diet instead of brown bag lunches, ability to learn with the kids during the day, and take Florida workations.
Bigger point is – employees always liked WFH, but employers, esp middle managers, were afraid of letting it happen. It seems that there was no productivity decline overall, probably a combination of two factors:
1) productive people are even more productive without constant control and inane meetings
2) non-productive people are equally not productive at home and not interfering with the rest.January 6, 2023 8:13 am at 8:13 am in reply to: Frum LinkedIn Users with He/Him or She/Her in their profile? #2154466Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantit is a cultural thing – when powerful people start putting their pronouns in signatures and bios, it creates pressure on the masses to follow to be liked by the boss, and then remaining ones stand out. One of my kids was asked what his pronoun is, and he replied “I do not have one”
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantI don’t know much about PCS, but you might also want to look at wider choices: there are now quite a number of reputable online colleges with good degree programs. You do not generally need to interact with strangers and the class deadlines are easy to manage around yomim tovim, way easier than in in-person colleges.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantAre they paid salary and get insurance while this is going on? I hope not and that would be a good reason to hope this ends soon.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipant> like asking an alcoholic if he works for the bar he’s in
I was recently “served” by a coffee shop worker who woke up, asking me to repeat the order, and then yawned while making coffee. I suggested that he might need the coffee himself (themselves?!). He replied that he does not drink coffee…
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantThis is a serious hesaron. If the country does not have Hamedaber, is it even human!?
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantThe poll is not fully reflecting the options. I simply picked up the highest age because nothing higher was available.
The available choices may subtly influence the answers. For example, bike stores put a $1000 bike and others for $300. They really sell the $300 ones, but the buyers feel that they made a rational choice by avoiding the most expensive one.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantRambam suggests job -> house -> marriage unless you are a fool. I am sure someone will point out that this Rambam is also outdated.
January 2, 2023 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm in reply to: Differences between newspapers and Jewish news sites #2153265Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantby the way, search engines personalizes things. So, if you usually search for “exciting news” will (probably) bring you a rogachever chidush if you usually look for tosfos and something else if you look up different material. [I did not experiment with this, so try on your own risk[
And they have information not only from the search itself but also from other corners of internet that resell your history.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantn0 > Find a senior posek who approves of thirty year olds that can’t remember what their father did but will pick up any chumra in the newest publication.
As Avira says, the yeshiva movement raises up average observance level by establishing their own norms. It generally achieves the intended purpose and saved several generations of Yidden not just from spitting on their jackets but from outright assimilation. Of course, with such tremendous growth, most of the 2nd and 3rd generation of teachers are the product of the system and your call for remembering what their parents do falls on deaf ears. How do we combine successes of large-scale education with keeping deeper Jewish values?
January 2, 2023 3:53 pm at 3:53 pm in reply to: Bigotry: Washington Post, on Muslims’ anti-vax, choose pic of Jews #2153244Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipanthuju,
I don’t think Jews in general, or even shomer shabbos Jews as a group are more anti-vaccine than other groups of American popoulation. We are just more visible, and maybe our middah of koshe oref plays some role too. An interesting question is – what explains specific clusters of anti-everything among Yidden. Not for the purpose of publishing in WaPo, but in order to understand ourselves.Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantn0 > Anything which depends on the surrounding norms, is intrinsically subjective
First, implementation of all mitzvos bein adam l’havero are subjective to begin with – they depend on how the other person will be affected. What is honor for one, is a dishonor for another. So, this “subjective” is not a chiddush.
Maybe you mean “subjective” as a danger of deciding what to do on your own, with a great danger of rationalizing either kulos or chumros, whatever fits your current state of mind. This is, of course, a great danger and that is indeed why we often have often rules that limt our “creativity” – a bird belongs to the house if there are less than 50 amos, etc.
On a personal note, my nature is mostly to contradict norms, so you can rely on me when I call for following the norms 🙂 In most cases, when I bring the idea of following norms, it is either direct from the sources or something I heard form a Rav. I don’t tend to come up with chidushim calling for unity. I need to work more on that…
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantAvira > chazal say that sholom is bad for reshoim, it lets them sin more. I don’t see how you can call it an independently important calue.
you are getting carried away. If you play a shot game every time you mention “sholom” in your davening, you’ll be drunk by Mussaf. And we end with “talmidei chachomim merabim sholom b’olam”, which I see as one of the criteria for a T. Ch. – you are one if you increase sholom (NOT an only one).
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantI think YWN also ran a halachic discussion about this. I understood this as: lying is forbidden to non-Jews and while you can acknowledge this guy and rely on his vote, you should try to find other partners when looking for political allies.
On the positive side, this guy may have a been a Berdichever chosid: look, how openly he admits all his aveiros. On the negative side, this seems to be part of the modern trend when all aveiros are not just tolerated in private or overlooked with understanding that “everyone is human”, but proudly paraded in front of the public.
Not only Dems, but Reps should have found this during the primary. American system rightfully does not criminalize such behavior but presumes that open public discourse will deal with such cases. If this is a one-off miss that will warn people that is fine, but not if the next guy will point to this one as a precedent.
January 2, 2023 1:40 pm at 1:40 pm in reply to: Bigotry: Washington Post, on Muslims’ anti-vax, choose pic of Jews #2153104Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantNot to defend, but to explain:
Famous “man bites dog” bias? Who would be surprised that some uneducated refugees from Africa are afraid of needles? Nobody in DC is going to take their clue from these poor souls. It may be worth mentioning as this could cause an outbreak, but not deserving a picture.
Same behavior from members of “am chacham venavon” who spend their lives learning intricate machlokes of Abaye ve Rava surely deserves attention and an interest in understanding their position. And a picture for those who would not believe this unless they saw it.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantIf a person can reach retrospection by any means possible, it is great. R Dessler says that everyone is trying to get up the “sulam Yaakov” and those who do not have proper means to do so would use any
crutch they can find.Some review their action when going to sleep (“do not remind a Talmid Chochom about his aveira he did yesterday, as he surely did teshuva overnight”); or you can do it by Rosh Hodesh or by the financial quarter…
Definitely, an end of the tax year should bring thoughts about mis-spent time and money, charity deductions one did not use, wrong stocks and ideas he bought in the last year … One should also shutter at the thought – how he will be seen by people if the Congress were to publish his tax forms.
Alter from Kelm had a piece of wood in his bread and he thought that nobody cares about this, while the Pharaoh’s baker got into such a trouble, and we should always think how our actions matter in front of the King…
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantOur daf yomi group was pondering who are all these people who habitually pledge not to eat this or that. Mashechet Nedarim surely had in mind people making NY resolutions- or some other cultural traditions that take over people … so, it seems that making such makes one almost a rasha.
Is there a kosher way to do NY resolutions that do not sound like nedorim?
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantRashi says that Yosef hints to brothers that he speaks loshon kodesh. r Twersky asks what is so special about ivrit!? after all, they had an interpreter who also spoke it… his answer: loshon kodesh is about speaking in a kodesh way… so if you claim you speak it, please make sure you actually do
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantYO has benefit over CS of living after 200 years of chadash
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantFYI – Currently there is a spike of Omicron XBB variant with high reinfections, especially those who had pre-omicron virus or vaccine.
Figure 1 in paper below shows antibody response from different vaccines to different strains 15 to 40 days after vaccination. One old booster was somewhat effective to previous BA.x and BQ.x strains but not to XBB. Two old ones and one new bivalent booster still effective for XBB.
See:
Neutralization against BA.2.75.2, BQ.1.1, and XBB from mRNA Bivalent Booster
letter to NEJM December 21, 2022 DOI: 10.1056/NEJMc2214293December 28, 2022 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm in reply to: Threading the Needle on Social Issues in the New Coalition #2152214Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantIsraeli right includes a lot of “masorti” that includes Sephardim who even if not fully observant are pro-datiim. Others might be economic and politically right-wing and, and the same time, “not religious”. Left includes commies and former commies that are built on ANTI-religious ideology. ANTI is different from “NOT” and “PRO”
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantAvira > Takah, we aren’t going to have to work when moshiach comes – we’re all going to sit and learn
I recall Rambam says that the main change will be that Jews will not be subjugated to others. So, we will all work for our own businesses.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantNitel nacht, like Saturnalia before it, correlates with shortest day of the year. So, backwards Russkies celebrating it in January is minhag taut and need to be abolished. hope that still remaining chief rabbis of rushia can deliver this message to the chief rasha. although it seems to be sakono nefoshos lately to contradict them, so maybe russian yidden should continue doing nittel nacht in January l’darchei sholom v’briut.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantWe can’t complain about anti-semitism much if politicians are lying that they are Jewish … So, we don’t need to worry about Cohens pretending to be Joneses, but rather Joneses, or least Santi, pretending to be Cohens.
December 27, 2022 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm in reply to: With new clause: Will Haaretz get punished for its racism?ism? #2152001Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantThey may be haters they are, but it may also be a fact that some groups pay less than others. Answering “Because they pay taxes and income tax according to the law” is a dishonest misdirection.
How do you bring sholom between these worrying parties?
Either you need to convince the chilonim that your spiritual contribution is worthy his tax contribution or simply reduce taxes for everyone, use private contributions to maintain your society. In both cases, you can then hope to bring other Israelis closer to the Torah.Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantThere is an idea of directing bad middos towards constructive purposes – say, making a potential murderer a shoichet. Maybe you can find a calling that allows for some constructive venting: a shadachan, a business consultant, a psychologist, a novel writer …
December 26, 2022 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm in reply to: Threading the Needle on Social Issues in the New Coalition #2151498Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantthis challenge of balancing of extra 5 haverei Knesset … maybe we should go back to a coalition of 61 with 2 heads and 10 differing views
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantwhat about the story of Berdichever and a guy who was smoking on shabbos?
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantn0 > Something that depends on the praxis of the surrounding society is not one bit objective.
Sholom is an objective Torah value (that, according to Kotzker, does not always go well with Emes, but this is a different story). To achieve sholom, one is required to follow the norms/majority/accepted behaviors. For example, see Mishna Pesachim that one is required to follow chumros of the place one is visiting (as well as his own).
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantmany indeed differentiate between learning and mussar. For example, Steipler recommended R Twersky to take precautions when in medical school by, among other things, (1) learning w/ a hevruta at least 2 hours a day, (2) learn mussar or chasidus for at least 15 (or 30?) minutes a day
R Salanter, when asked what to learn in one avaiable hour – Gemora or Mussar – answered: Mussar, as it will help you to find another hour. Of course, you can just learn Mussar from Gemora and satisfy both opinions. (I am using here another R Salanter’s exchange:
– what is your source for this?
– Gemora.
– I can’t find it in Gemora
– It _is_ in _my_ GemoraAlways_Ask_QuestionsParticipantAvira > we don’t see MO people going into yeshivos
It may be nitpicking, but this is not a good expression if you stop to think about it.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantNedarim analyzes various expressions according to lashon bnei adam, including different meanings at different times and places, some of which are shown to be different from how a word is used in Tanach. Nobody seems to raise objections and considers all local dialects legitimate. Any of the amoraim or later commentators object to “illegitimate” version of loshon hakoidesh?
December 21, 2022 10:26 pm at 10:26 pm in reply to: Frum LinkedIn Users with He/Him or She/Her in their profile? #2150523Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantJust don’t call me late for dinner
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantRebE, this is a different interpretation. Question seems to be – is Esav evil in nature, or does he has a positive side that gets dominated by negative ones and environment he puts himself in.
Always_Ask_QuestionsParticipantAvira > “Usually it’s something excessive that nobody around you does.”
n0> Please use an objective standard.it is an objective standard. Fitting in the community is a Torah value (that I find hard :). Torah allows for social pressures. Shalom is a Torah value and it is achieved by people following the norms. R Steinsaltz writes that one of the reasons of nervous breakdown in EY is that you have people from multiple very different cultures in the same bus every day annoying each other by their mannerisms.
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