Always_Ask_Questions

Chaim> I come from a different cut. i don’t think its such a sin to hire illegal or underage workers. (I know dina dmlachusa. There are heterim..

qok, so why were you dreining my kopf and did not say so in the first place? This is exactly what I was saying – you don’t know how tov unaim is to sit and not rely on those heterim.

> ” nursing homes are just as ehlich as finance”.

got it. So, in plain yinglish, you are saying that nursing homes are not ehrliche, but “ehrliche enough”. As much as other gazlanim.

I think you are pushing this shitah on others in order to justify yourself. Most Drs are not scam. Indeed, maybe only rare ones do not care about payment, as the bloodletter from Taanis, but most are providing fair service for the money.

But if you seriously believe in this, then your only kosher solution is to go in the other direction – work honestly with your hands, earn enough to afford food, and spend the rest of your day teaching your kids (as you don’t want to rely on tzedoka and non-Jewish support).

qwerty> hat reason is because the Torah said so. If one would like to find additional support for Mitzvahs, he may do so, but no one can suggest that “HE” knows

multitudes of scholars, such as Ramban, R Shimshon Hirsh, etc were exploring reasons for mitzvos of various type – scientific, social, psychological. Some of these reasons did not wear well with passage of time. In our times, many indeed like you say try to avoid that in order not to follow secular critics, but there is nothing wrong intrinsically in trying to figure them out. When Shlomo could not figure out red heifer, I am sure it was not because he did not try!

As to how humble one should be when proposing such, this varies and the difference between rishonim and CR posters is obvious.

I asked LLM to comment on this story and it politely said that the story is “popular in alternative wellness circles”. But then it ventured with it’s own explanation that sounds at least as intriguing!

Why Linen and Wool Actually Don’t Mix

If you feel “off” wearing linen and wool together, there is a physical explanation: Static Electricity.

Linen and wool sit on different ends of the Triboelectric Series.

When they rub together, they create a significant amount of static discharge. This can cause physical discomfort, clinging, and skin irritation, which might be interpreted as a “drop in energy.”

I thought it is NSWF misspelled, so I did not even open this thread.

Or maybe Israeli Figure Skaters (Women), also not appropriate for most posters here.

rescue> you have to stand your ground.

Gemora recommends being an arova rather than a ceder tree – if you “stand tall and stand your ground”, you are at a risk of being broken eventually. Arova survives the wind. Look at books of R Pliskin and R Twersky for a lot of good practical advice on this.

chaim> I have no illusions that, those that oppose the State or have a Anti-Zionist hashkafa will somehow “see the light”

front page has an article on yom haatzmaaut at Ponevezh, that is old news (although this should impress people even more), but then shows a couple of Belgian charedi Yidden putting the flag up and discusing whether to sing hatikva. I don’t know who they are – lamedvavniks or hidden mafdal agents planting a (literally) false flag …

duvid> How does Satmar explain the Chashmonaim?

A good point, and I think many people make this connection. One of recent chanukkas I heard a dvar Torah from a Rav, who is very charedi/lakewood/moetzes but also not denouncing anything, somehow he integrates his “daas Torah” with his own opinions … so, he was, unusually, talking not about candles but about military victory – not in a secular way, but highlighting how moedh in shmone esre is focused on that.

It all sounded traditional, but a little off. I then needled him in private “you sounded like a hidden zionist”. And he replied “why so hidden”? I think events of last several years made many people confront these contradictions or, maybe, confront that politics matters, not just a distraction from limud Torah as it sounds during better times.

I suggest excellent books by R Pliskin, especially one called “Marriage”. For some here, this is an urgent request (assuming you are married).

And note that Avraham did not have the last laugh here, so to speak – later on, he gets explicit instructions: “listen to her”

And R Soloveitchik was right when he spoke to Mizrachi congress in 1950s, or maybe even 40s:
you come to US to only collect money for EY, but only the immigrant generation responds to you, not their children. Jews in EY will not be lost, they will get to Yiddishkeit in some way, while it is critical to build schools and Jewishly educate young secularly-educated American Jews before they get lost.

I presume it is a joke, but if you look for the source, it is probably quran.

YS, thanks, I think I heard that. Could be that the chabad shaliach used that to let me in, but did not tell me so that I satisfy my rebellious feelings?!

I don’t think though everyone holds by that. I doubt that R Moshe would say – follow his minhag even among people who do not follow that.

ujm > theoretically possible he gave someone a heter bshas hadchak to have a television (speculating that such a person might have engaged in worse activities, otherwise, in his opionion),

this is a good reason. One of the reason for decreased sexual activities and crime from the current generation of teens is attributed to the time spent on TikTok – every minute someone scrolls the feed, he is not strolling around the mall engaging in risky activities.

Interesting to observbe yeridas hadoros here: R Miller wrote that it used to be ok to go read books in public libraries, but “nowadays” you cant read about such great role models as Tom Sawyer …

same – TV of 20th century is probably cleaner than ads you see on YWN … maybe, reruns of those soap operas should be recommended as treatment for internet addiction. Consult your local ruv before following this advice from a random guy on internet.

CTL, in truth you are not supposed to if you are joining a legit minyan. You would put tefilin at home, and then go to the minyan without. I do that when I am in a sephardi minyan. I am not sure about a temporary minyan where everyone brings his own minhag.

gemora says “mohammed” exactly 0 times. I double-checked every page. Not sure why.

DaMoshe> What about the Baal HaTanya, who changed from his father’s minhagim?

Indeed. On this shitah, I was once for chol hamoed at a chabad minyan where there were exactly 10 of us. I used the leverage and said – I’ll come on the condition I can wear tefilin. I am aware this is contrary to the halakha “when in Rome …”, but I felt hasidim changed the minhagim so they can’t be too offended.

It is very concerning to me that I cannot figure out whether this is a real letter or satire! Maybe it is hard to get humor in a 2nd or 4th language ….

Hayalim should daven for lomdei Torah? Maybe chayalim should say meshebrach for those who refuse to say mishebrerach for the chayalim?

I understand that R Ovadia Yosef paskened that gebrokhts are minhag taut and should be dealt with via hatarat nedarim.

Rambam “accepted emes regardless of a source”. In science also, there is a system of open publications that allows other knowledgeable people to verify what is published. So, if you are looking at a popular publication and there are several studies on the issue, you might rely on the exppertise. Still, context matter. While generally halakha defers to one doctor, R Mayer Twersly had a teshuva early on during covid where he explains that in this case of great uncertainty, we should consult several sources and act cautiously according to all of them. Now, our lack of knowledge about covid was not greater than medieval lack of knowledge about any diseases of the time, but we simply know better what we don’t know 🙂

> The question is why would people go otd so quickly if our lifestyle is supposedly the truth.

right. It is a difficult balance – if you introduce, esp kids, to the world too early, you are risking OTD, or at least acquisition of undesirable views and middos. If you don’t introduce at all – then R Soloveitchik’s question from the 1950s still stands: if we claim to have truth from Hashem, why are we hiding in caves.
Middle road is hard.

The problem might be that these minhagim might need to change quickly with technology and social changes – sometimes l’kula, sometimes l’humra.
For example, nobody was saying hamotzi on pizza 100 years ago – as it was a treat. Now people do because it became, lo aleinu, a full lunch.
Processsed food became more uniform and with different ingredients. Humriche food became more accessible in many places.

> it would be best not to name the town

indeed, it is even worse in less densely Jewish towns. When you see a clearly observant person misbehaving on the road, you likely know the person and it is also weighs more into people’s perception.

rescue> Put all the stress in your in laws. That sound very biblical.
Or the govement =usury

Of course you can support yourself and learn. Not a new idea. But as long as it is private and volunteer, there should not be a problem. Rambam learned while his brother supported him, and worked after that (and supported his brother’s family). I would have no problem supporting a Talmid Chochom as a S-I-L. It is just most of current learning is not at the level but it is “Torah as medicine” (idea endorsed by gemorah) – to prevent people going off the derech. For example, when I had please discussing various bochurim with their rebbes, they would say “he is learning”. What? How? “like everyone else. great”…

Maybe, things will look better if we honestly requalify expense from “learning” to saving lives of people who will drown in modern society without being locked in yeshivos. Then, this expense becomes more justified. And then we sould remember that the best tzedokah is helping people to leave the tzedokah rolls – help them acquire work skills and social skills to live in the world without going OTD.

Chaim, I think you are doing the right thing, you are just complaining about it.
“choosing” not to work and rely on others paying for you is not an erliche option.
If you think working in business is better … Not exact match, but there was shochet who told R Salanter that he doesn’t want to be responsible for aveiros in shechita, so he is going into business! R Salanter was horrified that he is not afraid of aveiros in business .. accounting is not shechita, but the business alternative is still the same. Not randomly, you bring the “nursing home” example – a business rife with people being in trouble with medicaid, hiring illegals, profits balancing how much you spend on feeding elderly … I would rather be an accountant for Enron that face this yetzer hara.
So, just stop thinking that the grass is greener somewhere else, you are doing well.

I would look at adjustments – 401k, vacations, camps – really, train your kids and learn yourself to enjoy interacting with them. If the choice is not being to pay for school, camp should go first (my school has question “which camp you go to” in there where they are trying to figure out how rich you are).

If kids are too young for kiruv camps, they can help out in a local summer day camp with little kids. Mine started doing it, I think, when they were 12.
Maybe assist at a local chabad house, if you have one or maybe your place is too frum.

In terms of school costs, I am big proponent of doing general subjects in online schools from about 7-8th grades – you can then have all kids together in Jewish classes, and everyone can go there own way in general studies – some might want Yinglish only, some might want AP and SAT. And this cuts cost at school. If you are really pressed – experiment with 1-2 (better 2 close in age) kids in fully online Jewish schools for a year.

You know, medical pain is an indicator that something is wrong with the body … the pain itself is not the important thing but it point to where the problem is. This statement that camp is a necessity may be such a sign – are your kids capable of doing something positive when they are not watched by a teacher? Do they take a sefer during the vacation? Do they have friends with whom they can spend quality time? Hobbies? Would they mind preparing for SAT or play basketball or piano? If there are many “no” answers here, then see how to change that and help them grow into healthy adults.