A Woman Outside Brooklyn

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  • in reply to: Getting a BTL and Going to Law School? #934187

    Maybe we all know the same gentleman, who went from yeshiva BTL to Harvard? Because I know of one, am friends with his mom.

    One thing that I’m sure by now that law schools have figured out is the analytical skills that yeshiva students possess. Face it, yeshiva teaches one how to think, secular education does not. So despite what’s lacking in college education, these yeshiva students often rise to the top of their classes, make law review et al. Of course, that has nothing to do with today’s job market. That’s affecting all law school grads, not just former yeshiva bochurim.

    in reply to: Dunkin Donuts Muffins #933892

    I’d mentioned this in a DD thread that was updated about a week ago. Yes, the product itself is kosher. But the majority of the stores are not, so unless you’re eating it straight out of the carton, you’re likely to be eating something that has been in contact with treifis. Same as with most of the frozen yogurt stores that are popping up all over the place. If you ask to see the packet the yogurt comes in, yes, it will have a hechsher. But how do you know what happens to it, who handles it and how, once it is opened?

    in reply to: Kashrus of Dunkin Donuts #1022444

    Getting back to DD, it’s quite interesting to watch a DD truck unload at a DD store. Check out the cartons of donuts, they all have (I don’t recall which) either an OU or OK hechsher on the carton. Of course, once those cartons are opened and the donuts come in contact with the triefess is the stores, that’s another story.

    I’ve asked to see the syrups used for flavorings, and they all are under OK. When you ask for something like a mocha coffee, they’re combining their regular coffee with a few shots of the syrup (it’s in a large pump bottle).

    Even when I’m in one of the kosher DD’s, I don’t buy the donuts. Not because of kashrus, but I just don’t care for donuts. But I’m comfortable based upon opinions of the major kashrus agencies that the coffee is not an issue in DD. Again, USA milk comes from cows. However, I was very surprised to see, during a stopover in Europe enroute to Israel, many “frum looking” people having not only coffees in the airports, but things like lattes with whipped cream. Didn’t they realize that the USA doesn’t oversee milk in other countries?

    in reply to: Gift for Jewish, intermarried, but interested preceptor #901245

    My Rav poskened that I could not give a wedding gift in this situation.

    in reply to: Ner Yisrael #899632

    Personally, when the issue came up of sending our youngest son to NIRC, our Rav recommended not doing so because he feels a HS boy is still a child and needs the warmth and stability of his family, and that for those of us in NYC metro, there are alternatives to OOT. More black hat mesivtas have added AP courses, probably in response to parental pressures. And now that there are an abundance of “alternative” college programs, guys do have that option. For a pure 50/50 split of quality in both parts of the day I’d say Yeshiva Toras Chaim in Lawrence. Bottom line, the quality of the secular (and limeudi kodesh for that matter) is only as good as the teacher and/or Rebbe. It can vary widely from class to class and year to year.

    in reply to: Weird invasive telemarketing call today #897885

    I didn’t get that one, but have gotten a few screechers to remind me “that tomorrow in Yom Kipppur”. At which point, I hung up. To all tzedakahs out there who think that having someone scream at me that it’s the last day before (whichever) Chag, or the last day before your raffle is going to bring in a donation, please think again. More likely to produce a hang up.

    in reply to: Afikei Torah Seminary! :) #903426

    My daughter went to Afikei, and loved is so much she went back for Shana Beis. While the girls do not necessarily come from BY’s (although my daughter did), they are all looking for personal growth. The faculty is amazing. There were 1 or 2 rebels in my daughter’s aleph year, but you can find that almost anywhere. The reason my daughter picked Afikei was because its less text oriented then the BJJ type schools, and very hashkafa oriented, with lots of chance for discussions. To this day, my daughter is very close with some of her teachers, and she was there 5 years ago.

    in reply to: Siyum HaShas Shadchan! #890076

    The only “click here” button I saw was the one for RSA raffles. Nothing for the siyum tickets. I’m not looking to make a killing on them, just want to unload a ticket that will otherwise go unused. So Shadchan, contact me here so we can talk tachlis.

    in reply to: Siyum HaShas Shadchan! #890073

    Well anyway, went to the Shadchan website, none of the links work. So Shadchan, if you want to sell my husband’s $100 ticket for me (he can’t make it), you can respond to me here with how I contact you, who you are etc. Also have a RT bus ticket. I’ll check back here later.

    in reply to: HELP! Need Tickets To Siyum HaShas! Last Minute! #888319

    My husband’s ticket is available, he will not be able to make it. It’s a $100 ticket. I also have a bus ticket for a roundtrip from a boro outside of Brooklyn. Question, what’s the best way to contact me because there are no PM’s here? I would rather not post it on ebay because of security concerns.

    in reply to: Should Schools Ban Facebook? #903632

    The HS my daughter attended (which was pre-FB) has a no FB policy. So what do the girls do instead? Simple, create accounts using fake names. This is just one of those issues where the kids are more tech savvy then the administration. And not everyone is using FB in an untznious manner. Years ago they all used AOL Instant Messenger – this is basically the same thing with pictures (if the user choses to post them). Wonder if they’ll deal with this issue at Citifield? You can’t just ban things without knowledge of what the girls are really doing online. I can see someone monitoring their usage for anything inappropriate as a far more practical alternative.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #869092

    Having read the book, what I find interesting is that most of the highly negative stuff isn’t from the book itself, but from her publicity tour. Clearly she’s OTD, and harbors a lot of bitterness towards her upbringing, but clearly she had the highest of regard for the grandparents who raised her. And no where does she say that the girls only had the equivalent of 4th grade education. In fact, she got A’s in her high school English classes.

    in reply to: Missed Live Feed of Rav Scheinberg Levaya? #861401

    I’d also like a link, the live feed is blocked in my office.

    But there are no parenthesis in this equation, so the addition/subtraction is equal to the last part. I thought it was 15, may have counted wrong.

    Still haven’t seen a word about this outside of this thread. It’s not in this week’s Jewish Press (print edition, thank you), or the Mishpacha that arrived this morning. Haven’t checked Hamodia or Yated. Point being – is this for real? And why wouldn’t this have a 1/4 million mechatzia if the Siyum HaShas requires one?

    in reply to: Colored Shirts #985662

    Once again, as I’ve mentioned many times before, I’m grateful that outside of its Brooklyn branch, Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim deemphasizes white shirts. They feel it is important for a talmid to dress neatly, cleanly, conservatively, but growth comes from within, not from the shirt. And by the way, if you’re going to wear a white shirt, please make sure it’s clean! How many bochurim wear white shirts during the week that are starting to get a gray or yellowy tinge? Don’t tell me they wouldn’t look neater in a light blue!

    Another peeve I have on this subject is men who wear the garb, black suit, white shirt, hat, and yet when you talk to them you realize that they’re weak on even basic halacha. But they believe they’re frum because of how they’re dressed. Isn’t that backwards?

    If this is really true, how come there hasn’t been anything about it in the YWN news section? What is your source, getzel1?

    And presuming it is true, who is sponsoring this? How would one obtain tickets?

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #869053

    It would help if posters here did not think they can determine who Hashem hates. Instead of thinking of this mixed up young woman as the most evil creature on earth; how about focusing on where evil really lurks, like in Iran for example. We do not (currently) have a Sanhedrin. We should not be taking on its roles ourselves as we are not qualified in the finite nuances.

    I’m sort of sorry I started this thread, especially since I was looking at it from the angle of “how do we answer secular Jews about her charges”, or from a kiruv perspective.

    in reply to: Avg. income of frum families #857625

    Since I’m in civil service, I was able to join a deferred’s compensation program. It’s pretty much the same idea as a 401K, except the city doesn’t make contributions. However, the fact that the money comes out of my paycheck before I get my hands on it is a tremendous benefit! When I first started working for the city, we lived in a fairly low rent apartment and weren’t paying tuitions yet, so I took the max allowed, 25% of my salary per paycheck. When we bought a house, and the kids started yeshivas, I lowered it to 7.5%. But even so, that will hopefully be a decent nestegg. Otherwise, believe me, we wouldn’t save $5 a week, we basically live from paycheck to paycheck. But B”H, we do have those paychecks.

    in reply to: recycling shalach monos #857960

    How about making sure at least two of them are not recycled, just to fulfill the mitzvah, and after that, pot luck.

    We dump whatever’s left Purim night, and all the packaged stuff that no one wants goes to Tomchai Shabbos, who does a pick up from a central location on Sunday, as long as it’s wrapped and with a proper hechsher.

    in reply to: Avg. income of frum families #857611

    I removed the shower head thingy, because I didn’t find it saved us much water, but it definitely minimized the pleasure of my shower. Just spend less time in the shower – maybe sing one song instead of two, and you’ll save. Run dishwashers when they’re full. Check nyc.gov/dep for more tips. And log into your AMR account to see exactly when you’re using more water.

    in reply to: Avg. income of frum families #857596

    This thread also doesn’t ask how much debt people are carrying. Obviously mortgages. But how about credit cards? And for many of us with family in Israel, there are trips back and forth – either parents going and/or kids coming in. When my husband and I have sit down trying to figure out why others appear to be “making it”, we’ve determined that they’re getting help from their families. We have no family to turn to – we either sink or swim.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868985

    It’s the BT generation. We don’t hate BT’s once they become Frum -they are just like e/o else.

    Health, that’s a sentence that could easily be misconstrued. I realize you’re using the term in it’s true sense – someone who left Torah, and then does complete tshuva. But since it’s commonly used nowadays to mean people who were not from frum homes who became frum, I hope no ones feelings were hurt. Of course, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt on how you meant “BT”.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868977

    Having just returned from an amazing convention run by Project Inspire, I see some of these posts in a different light. It is virtually impossible for me to hate DF. I still hold that she is a misguided confused young woman, and with the right approach, she might yet do at least some Tshuva. She is (all of our) obstreperous child.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868924

    I think the chief difference between DF and Soliek is that Soliek always cleaved to Torah, throughout his difficulties. Even if he only went through the motions, he at least did that much. To my interpretation, it sounds as though he knew the answers to many of his issues were in there, and it was up to him to connect through a new point of view. OTOH, DF sounds as though she was all to eager to throw off the “cloak” of observances.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868915

    Soliek, I think it’s only the fact that I’m sitting at my desk in my office, among my coworkers, that kept me from crying as I read your heart wrenching story. May you have continued hatzlacha as you rebuild your life and help others to do the same!

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868861

    Soliek, I know that publishers give advances, but how could they have known that the book would be this successful, and therefore have given her an advance large enough for her to live on the UES and send her son to a very expensive day school?

    I hope you get an advance that is at least half as generous.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868841

    A new question popped into my head today, while reading an article on The Forward about her new form of dress.

    I began wondering how she can afford to live on the Upper East Side, which has some of the most expensive housing in the entire country, plus send her son to Park East Day School, where tuitions run in excess of $20k? Surely she didn’t get a huge alimony settlement? And all this before her book was even released. Just curious.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868817

    tahini – there are quite a number of “official” programs, such as the aforementioned Project Chazon. In 5Towns there’s Madraigos. Rabbi Shaya Cohen runs Priority One. Rabbi Ronnie Greenwald is extensively involved in many programs. Rachel’s Place provides a safe haven for girls who may have been abused or victimized, or just need a place to go, and has seen many of them turn their lives around.

    These are just a few that I could think of without googling.

    But one universal theme that each and every one emphasizes is to show the OTD person unconditional love. Granted, that’s primarily referring to the parents, but shouldn’t it be applicable to everyone? Why would someone want to come back if they feel they are hated?

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868797

    She’s not extremely sick. But she is misguided and lost.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868782

    Gee, what’d I start here? My feeling is still that she needs a lot of TLC from the right sources, not from an Irish Catholic guy she referred to in the NY Post interview.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868725

    It just should be recategorized by Amazon and others as fiction.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868715
    in reply to: soliek im writing this book… #851964

    You just earned brownie points.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868703

    Hopefully we’re down to the last 3 minutes or so of her 15.

    in reply to: soliek im writing this book… #851962

    Hatzlacha! We’d love to see you become Simon & Schuster’s new star. I’d even watch The View on youtube again.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868697

    a mamin, I realize you can’t post a URL, but can you give me a clue to that blog?

    in reply to: oprah and chassidishe family #851921

    My understanding is that we’re not allowed to teach them Torah. But it is OK to say something like “we cover our hair because of modesty”.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868689

    I messaged her on Facebook, inviting her for a Shabbos “in my chilled out community” after she gets back from her book tour.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868679

    Apparently, and Soliek, you’d know since you were there, the line to attend her reading went around the corner, and a lot of people had to be turned away. I wanted to go, but something came up that prevented me from doing so.

    Soliek, I’d really be interested, since my prime concern is how this book is being hailed by the secular community; in what type of people attended. Were there any other frum people aside from you? Were there any questioners from the audience who took her to task for some of her, shall we say, exaggerations?

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868668

    I’ve reserved the book from my local library. I will not put money into her pocket.

    in reply to: oprah and chassidishe family #851915

    They also would know more about what TV is then the Ginsberg kids alluded to. Otherwise, what would be the explanation for why this woman was coming to their house with all sorts of equipment to ask them questions?

    in reply to: YU Seforim Sale #851534

    But not as much variety, or as much fun to go to (easy if you take the Triboro).

    in reply to: Whose Minhagim to follow!?! #851528

    Yungerman1, exactly. If his paternal grandfather davened Nusach Sephard, then so should his father, and hence, the boy himself. Fortunately, next year this young fellow is going to a Litvish Yeshiva where he may come to realize that his nusach is Ashkenaz. Only recently I pointed out to his father which nusach he’s supposed to be following, no matter how close he is to his maternal grandmother.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868646

    To computer777, I’m a poster, not a mod. Sometimes posts don’t go through.

    in reply to: YU Seforim Sale #851532

    Skipped it this year (my sons went) because I knew I’d buy stuff just because I’m there. But it is a lot of fun. My husband, after checking the prices for a new Shas, opted instead to wait till Z Berman has a warehouse sale.

    in reply to: Whose Minhagim to follow!?! #851525

    Here’s a variation on the question about following minhagim, only this applies to the child. A young boy attends a Day School where they place a lot of emphasis on Ivrit. His parents are both Ashkenaz, although his Maternal grandmother is Sefardi. The mom emphasizes that side. Now the boy gets up to lein for his Bar Mitzvah, and leins in Ivrit, tuf not sof et al. Is he confusing his minhagim?

    in reply to: oprah and chassidishe family #851913

    From the isolated clips I watched, Oprah’s interview with the Abramsons was the most interesting part in my opinion. Especially how Dinah handled the interview. If anyone knows where there’s a place online where I can watch the episodes in their entirety, please post the website. I know you won’t be able to include the URL, but if I at least have a point to start at, I’ll probably find it.

    I still think the Ginsberg kids, especially the older ones, were doing a bit of acting in terms of Mickey Mouse. So many families visit Disney every year, or have friends who have. It would be impossible, especially for the daughters, to go to school after break and not hear about those things.

    in reply to: Memoir called "Unorthodox" and its effect on us #868620

    Soliek, I’m still toying with the idea of going. I think a lot will depend on how tired I am after work, the weather, and a few other factors. To be honest, it’s a bit of a schlep from where I am now. Are you thinking of going? May I ask you a possibly “dumb” question? Are you a male or female? If you’re a woman and you’re going, perhaps we can meet up.

    in reply to: oprah and chassidishe family #851911

    After watching the clip from The View with that nebich, watching some of the clips from these two episodes was like a breath of fresh air. It was done very respectfully and tastefully. Problem with watching individual clips is that it doesn’t flow, and therefore, I couldn’t grasp whether or not there was an emphasis on a Hassidic lifestyle with its unique minhagim, or the more broadly based Torah lifestyle.

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 381 total)