Forum Replies Created
Aldi’s does not own Trader Joe. The owners are cousins, and I’d guess the Aldi cousin is the poorer one. Anyway, Aldis now has a few stores (at least one I know of) in NYC. It’s real hit and miss insofar as kashrus. For example, they had a really tasty microwave popcorn in their Clancy line with an OU. Now I can rarely find the OU, apparently comes from a different plant. But decent produce, very good prices, strange brands that you’ll never see anywhere else.
Too bad the OP has to stay in NJ or I would have suggested Queens and/or Far Rockaway. Cedarhurst or Inwood are the somewhat less pricey options in 5Towns.
Be that as it may, Edison/HP is the “frummer” side of Elizabeth. Definitely Passaic for its live and let live attitude. And Teaneck is moving a bit more to the right, but I wouldn’t call it “inexpensive”.
DaMoshe, Rav Moshe did not accept the Brooklyn eruv, a reason it’s still under dispute to this day. Another reason I am AWOB. But just like Hillel and Shammai disagreed, there may be positions Rav Moshe held that did not jibe with Satmar. However, they sat on the Motzeis together, and worked diligently for the betterment of Kal Yisrael.
IMHO if such an idea of a Gadol Haddar actually exists, it remains Rav Moshe. He was obviously preeminent in poskening shailas. But also the fact that virtually all frum Jews from MO to Chassidic respecte his viewpoint makes him unique. When my Rav, who is a world reknowned Posuk although perhaps still a bit younger then most of the Rebbeiem mentioned in this thread so he isn’t (yet) universally known says that he is following Rav Moshe’s position on this and that, it is accepted by all. Think back to the 80’s for instance, and recall that every group, with the possible exception of Lubavitch, followed Rav Moshe. Not just in Halacha, but all aspects of Judaism. We are still telling stories to our children (as are their Rebbes) of his sterling middos, which is just as much a qualifier as knowing Halacha. Rav Moshe respected every Jew, not just the Yeshiva world, and that love was directed back to him. Is there such a unifier today? No, just like the USA, we are more and more divided.
All in all, from a shidduch perspective, it was too big of a gamble. Right now the person with the likelihood of getting LOTS has a sibling who is completely disabled from it, and other siblings who are B”H fine. The doctor’s letter provided to the other party in the shidduch does indicate that the odds are very small of this person developing further symptoms. But does someone risk caring for someone who will likely become a complete invalid at some point, even IF they may have 10+ relatively healthy years together? The LOTS person feels that they are already showing beginning symptoms. It would be very worthwhile for that person to be tested to confirm. Who knows, ultimately it is up to Hashem. Will have to put away the champagne (yes, it was that close to engagement when this was revealed) for now.
Winnie, you sound very knowledgeable about this predicament. Do you work in a field that’s related? Hopefully, none of your information comes because of personal experience. This has been quite a shocking experience, to say the least.
Ysiegel, we certainly do have Dor Yesharim in the USA, and the young man and woman’s numbers were compatible. LOTS is caused when a parent is a carrier. A Dor Yesharim test is only to determine compatibility vis a vis genetic disorders. It will not show if a child is potentially suffering (or will in the future) this dreaded disease. There is very little research and no cure whatsoever for the late onset condition since, B”H, Tay Sachs has virtually been eradicated with the advent of testing. There are approximately 200 cases reported yearly, worldwide.
The couple chose to end the shidduch.
Here’s another one we were completely unaware of until it was mentioned on a date; LOTS (late onset Tay Sachs). From the little bit we’ve researched, it can be even worse then MS as a degenerative disease. This was caused by the parents neglect to be tested, and although this child is not a carrier, he/she is already suffering early symptoms. It is tragic that the shidduch went this far.
Thanks, I’ll check it out.
Personally, I thought this disclaimer was a very positive step by YWN. Some years back there was a fire in a building I once lived in (which is not in Bklyn). A non-frum friend took offense at the article for only being concerned about the Jewish tenants. And to be honest, didn’t she have a point? If you ever look at comments on virtually any article on, for example, Yahoo News that concerns Jews and/or Israel, one of the most frequent rants is that we only care about our own. And many would be BT’s were ultimately turned off by an attitude projected by some that only their kind matter. We are still living in Galus, so wake up.
As you can see from my YWN name, I’m delighted to not be a part of the Brooklyn nonsense. And I’m a huge supporter of the CC mesorah. I’ve known so many who have gone through their system, from Mesivta through being some of the leading Rebbeim today, and their sterling middos stands out. They don’t look down on Jews who are different, which is probably why they all excel in Kiruv. The “colored shirts” that you’re all hocking about are hardly bright red. The dress code in the Mesivta specifically states that colored means things like light blue, pale grey, no loud patterns. Brooklyn is just one branch, and the RY had to accommodate the attitude of the potential parent body. By the way, the post “branching” Beis Medrash and Kollel guys tend to wear white shirts anyway, so what’s the big deal here?December 5, 2017 9:25 am at 9:25 am in reply to: Where can Israeli Jews escape to in case of emergency? #1418667
Isn’t anyone here aware of how Medinas Israel is occupying the space Hashem has promised to us as Eretz Yisrael. Even if the current majority are secular Zionists, they are making it blossom in preparation for when we all return. And as He always has, Hashem will not allow EY to be destroyed by Esav/Amalek, any of our various enemies. How else can you explain how a ragged army of survivors beat back all the threats in both 1948. This year we commemorated the miracle of the Six Day War in 1968. Don’t you get it, Hashem is the General who protects EY.
In the meantime, the handwriting in the USA is clearly visible on the wall. We’ve had a good run here, but this is Golus. We were successful in Spain, Persia, Germany and so forth. Don’t rest on your laurels in your fancy Boro Park homes. Yes, history does repeat itself and we are witness to an upcoming generation of Jews who hate Israel and Judaism.
Obviously, Mod, we’re interpreting some of the comments different (I’m including some of the previous CR threads that are linked to here). There is a very strong condemnation of MO around here. Doesn’t anyone realize how harmful it is to force everyone into this box or that? Someone could have become frum 30 years ago, yet in many communities they will forever have to wear a “BT” label on their forehead. That’s a big part of why I chose the moniker AWOB. Does anyone here realize that in addition to all the other pressures that life throws at us, adding these types of conformity requirements in and of itself drives many away. Which brings us back to the OP. If a Hassidish man or woman has suffered in their own community, shouldn’t they be welcome in another?
To all of you who’d rather see people become frei then be Modern Orthodox, there’s something very wrong with you. Many more MO people then you think are just as Shomer as you think you are. True, there are those who follow “open Orthodoxy”, but that is not where Project Makom is taking them. Instead, the Makom team (who are largely from the Hassidic world themselves) is showing them that they can surely be frum while without having to fit into a box that’s labeled this or that Hassidish. Absolutely, you reek of Sinas Chinam. Aren’t we supposed to love all Jews? Or are you following some other faith?
To a degree, but we still have two large Yeshiva Gedolahs as anchors, so there is always an influx of Kollel couples, particularly from RSA. The Bucharians have contributed a lot to our community. Just read up on all that Chazaq has done in a relatively short time, such as taking major steps to ensure that all Jewish children have an opportunity to obtain Jewish educations. There are lots of organizations that have talked that talk, Chazaq has rolled up its sleeves and gotten the job done. That’s why Queens is special, there is tolerance of all types and backgrounds, and we work together for the benefit of Klal Yisroel. Differences in nusach don’t divide us.
My username says it all! In Queens, we have tolerance. You can be left wing MO or Chassidish, and everyone is accepted by everyone else, people are friends with one another. On Shabbos everyone says Good Shabbos (or increasingly, Shabbat Shalom). Our yeshivas are just a drop more expensive then Brooklyn. We have Aron’s (best prices), Seasons (spun off from Pomegrante) and many other stores. Yeah, Brooklyn has more clothing stores. And we have an Eruv that is vigilantly maintained and at least in FH, and KGH, were established under the auspices of Rav Moshe. In KGH we have over 45 shuls. Because our Eruv is accepted by all, women get out on Shabbos, so there isn’t as much of a market for Shabbos robes. We have Yeshiva Gedolahs Ohr Chaim, Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, and several smaller ones. We do kiruv and make people feel welcome.
They gave out the brown cans in our neighborhood right before Succos. One meal could have filled the can since they also want you to put in soiled paper plates. The size of the can is about the same as our standard, in the house, garbage cans. Clearly the DOS didn’t do it’s homework. If they had, they would have learned that in neighborhoods such as ours, where people eat at home more, prepare bigger meals and have more people (and guests) in their household, this is a complete joke. True, in theory I understand it, compost is good for the land and lessons the amount of things going into landfills. But who has the time to start sorting garbage beyond what we already have to do (paper and recycling)?July 19, 2017 9:02 am at 9:02 am in reply to: Should we stop bochurim from chilling and drinking beer at a bbqs.🍻🍖 #1320697
No, Mom, we shouldn’t. Even top notch bochurim need an opportunity to relax, especially over ben hazminim. In fact, that’s why there is a ben hazmanim! If they’re over doing it and going through a six-pack then you might have cause for concern, but one or two beers isn’t gong to hurt them. Listen to your husband before it becomes an issue. BTW, I’m a mom of bochurim also, and I’d much rather my boys have a shot of whiskey with their dad on Shabbos then anyplace else.July 11, 2017 9:31 am at 9:31 am in reply to: Requesting information about frumteens and R’ Yaakov Shapiro (hear me out mods!) #1315092
My interaction with Frumteens was as a mom trying to find information about various seminaries when my daughter was still in HS. Ironically, I first heard of her sem from posts I saw there when I was googling around about seminaries. It gave me an idea of what the hashkafas of that particular seminary were, and other key factors I wasn’t going to find out about elsewhere. She had two of the greatest years in her life there.
I’m told that Latino has some very funny expressions also. So I guess Yiddish doesn’t have a lock on great expressions that can’t really be translated.
Fortunately, my DH is Ashkenazi because he has a very delicate system and can’t eat spicy foods. I like some Sephardi foods, but not too crazy about heavily spiced greasy food. Glad sushi doesn’t fall under either category.July 7, 2017 9:04 am at 9:04 am in reply to: Yeshiva High School Graduates versus Public High School Graduates #1312821
Going back to the OP, and as my name indicates, I’m talking here about yeshivas outside of Brooklyn. Most of the mainstream yeshivas I’m familiar with do offer secular studies and seem to be taking them increasingly seriously. For example, one mesivta that previously did not offer AP’s now does. The vast majority of the boys did very well on their SAT’s. Regents are only administered in NY State, but they do pretty well on them as well. Many years ago Newsday had an article listing reading and math scores for both public and private schools in the boros and LI. For the most part the scores in the yeshivas beat those of the public schools in their districts. As a secular man who had attended Bronx Science in his youth once said to me, “the yeshivas must have very high academic standards with such a concentration of Jewish kids”. They don’t call us “the people of the book” only because of learning Torah. It is a long part of our tradition to be literate, including centuries when the rest of the world for the most part was not. No ethnic group can say the same except for Asians.
Joseph, I could be wrong on this one, but we know that if a worker slacks off on a job it’s as though they were stealing from their boss. In this case “boss” is the taxpapers, which is us. One of the reasons my city IT department is considered one of the best in the city in terms of what we do and accomplish is that it’s made up of people who care about their work in much the same way as the private sector. In fact, some people have left here, gone into the private sector and then come back (including our CIO). The few people who just sit around are not at all respected by their coworkers.
Hiring takes several forms. The standard is take a civil service exam and get appointed (what they call “called off a list”).
City jobs are always listed on the official NYC website. Sorry, no links. You can start your search there. Once you’re in the listings, you’ll see that it has a lot of filters such as managerial, FT, PT, locations etc.
Being hired as a provisional means, while you get the same civil service benefits, you’re not protected in the event of layoffs in the same way civil service employees are. But layoffs haven’t happened in a very long time, so I wouldn’t make that a criteria. BTW, new hires are enrolled in a Tier 6 pension plan which is a long distance from the famous NYC pensions our parents generation had. Also, the teacher’s union has a better pension as well. But the city does offer a pre-tax deferred comp option, which is a 457 plan.
At the upper managerial levels you’re more likely to find the political appointees. But there often is a lot of turnover at that level every time we get a new mayor. But if you’re that “connected”, you should be able to land on your feet if you are laid off.
Because technology is constantly advancing. A while back I was offered a position in a different agency that was still running their databases in DBase, a long obsolete program. We geeky people who go for IT always want to stay current. Especially important for those who may want to reenter the private sector. Also because as new technologies come into play and younger people who are fluent in those skills are hired, you don’t want to end up sitting around gathering dust. At least I wouldn’t.
Yes. Did this dispute exist when Shmulke Bernsteins came on the scene? Or people went to Moshe Peking for business meetings? I’m not old enough to know. However, Sushi is light, satisfying, and a great addition. In fact, it’s become my favorite Seudah Shlishis food. There are plenty of (non-buggy) veggie variations as well. Personally, I’m a Sushi Fussion fan.
Insofar as IT fields in NYC government (because that’s what I know), I’d recommend them but only after careful consideration of an individual agency’s system. Most city agencies are somewhat behind the private sector in technology. However, this can vary. Also, yes, you will be paid less then in the private sector. However, as a working mom who’s done both, I am grateful everyday for my city job. I leave work at the end of the 8 hour day, and it rarely follows me home. If I elect to work later, such as when we’re doing an implementation, I get comp time. If you are Certified in your field (such as DBA), you will get paid more. Civil service computer exams were given this year, but the results have not been released yet. There are a lot of people in my shop’s IT who are making 100k+. And I don’t miss the pressure of the private sector at all.June 14, 2017 9:28 am at 9:28 am in reply to: Rumor about Ivanka Trump Spurs conversation about Geirus #1296139
You clearly know exactly why your post was deleted.
The rules are very clear. Don’t try to pin this on the moderators. – 25
The different parts of RBS seem to be geared to different people. Isn’t Gimmel more chareidi then Aleph?
I know this is an old thread, but it’s still relevant. Anyone played Ungame?
And I was silly enough to believe that only HKBH is perfect.
Obama was criticized for having very little experience, and now he looks like an expert on being president comparatively. That being said, I’ve scratched by brain for what he’s done that I’ve felt is good:
1. One component of Obamacare – extending our children’s medical coverage until the age of 26.
a. However, once they pass that age, if they’re still learners, they’re often stuck without coverage (unless they qualify for Medicaid). Obamacare in NY State is very expensive!
2. Recognizing Cuba – IMHO there was no real reason, post-Cold War, to keep up the sanctions. However, I read recently that Castro is cozying up to Iran. That’s bad.
Two of the mesivtas mentioned above are actually part of the Chofetz Chaim system – PTI and Texas Torah Inst.
A pretty good “comprise” HS where you don’t have to sacrifice Chol for Kodesh or visa versa is Ateres Yaakov (South Shore) in Lawrence. Many boys went to college after a year or so in Israel, some are now in the Mir.
But I still suggest you look into Chofetz Chaim.
If Obama, after nearly 8 years hasn’t yet brought about Moshiach, I’m not so sure Hillary is capable either. She’s actually a drop better then Obama based upon when she was NYS Senator. She may have been pro-Israel then because she was kissing up to voters in NY, but that’s OK as long as she did take that position. As President she wouldn’t be so reliable.
All I’m asking, as the mother of boys, is that the girls not be so quick to determine, after 2 hours, that just because the conversation didn’t flow smoothly within 10 minutes, it doesn’t mean it won’t after the first date is out of the way. As someone who’s B”H married almost 30 years, I can certainly recall how awkward many first dates were. Some people are more reserved then others. Some people may be a bit burnt out. There are a zillion reasons why the first date may not be superb, not the least of which is having expectations based upon previous research and/or hope that this will be “the one”. But as I said 2 or so pages ago, I’m glad my husband and I gave each other a second try, because otherwise my life would be 100% different today.
In a similar thread somewhere buried in this website, I posted shortly after the 2012 elections that I hoped the next slate would be Cuomo versus Christie. I still like Christie.
Birdson read my mind. Definitely Mesivta Chofetz Chaim fills the criteria that you stated. Their Limeudi Chol has really picked up over the past few years. While your son would be academically prepared for college, it won’t be encouraged. The vast majority of boys go branching after HS, where they spend (typically) 3 years in one of the various branches throughout the USA, Vancouver and Israel. Most importantly, the derech of the entire yeshiva continues to put a big emphasis on middos and mentchlicht. It’s also an extremely warm place with great Rebbeim.
Of course, once your son goes there, it’s likely he’ll become a part of the “cult”. Once guys get “Chofetz Chaimed”, they stay in the system forever, so if you’re dreaming of an eventual Lakewood boy, it’s less likely.
I’m sure the name “Mr. Z” will ring a few bells with girls who went to a particular seminary.
Mind you, I’m not criticizing seminary. It’s a wonderful experience and girls really grow up both emotionally and spiritually in ways many of them didn’t in HS. Yes, the air of EY has kedusha.
My favorite example of giving a fellow another chance if you were merely so/so after date #1 (as opposed to outright turned off) is my own experience. Date #1 wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good – I wouldn’t have cared a lot if a second date wasn’t arranged. Date #2 and onwards were amazing and we lived happily ever after.
In That Particular Seminary, the girls are presented with the concept of “Mr. Zee” who seems to combine many different characteristics that are “wrong”.
Technical20, haven’t you ever met someone, be it a date or a girl you met for the first time, and at first it doesn’t seem like you have anything to talk about until one of you hits on something that just rings a bell? I have. Most people have. I’m not talking about getting into a car, and it’s a mess, and the boy is gruff or sloppy. I’m talking about nice, presentable Yeshiva guys with warm personalities. Obviously, there are those with whom we may never form a connection, but please, give it a chance!
There are plenty of girls out there who will reject a boy after a 2 hour meeting in a lounge. On their respective pieces of paper everything appears aligned. Who can make a life decision like that in 2 hours? Don’t they realize that none of us are at our best on a first meeting? It takes time to warm up to another. There’s a famous story in the yeshivas about one particular seminary that tells the girls that they shouldn’t give anyone a chance, if he isn’t immediately what they think they’re looking for, then goodbye Charlie.
Comments to news articles about Israel (or related) appearing on Yahoo are very anti-Israel. But that’s true of almost all news media these days.
It’s always been my belief that if I’m wearing something with a designer label, then I’m “advertising” that designer’s line. Therefore, the designer should pay me to advertise their stuff. I’ve never understood the need to wear labels, and this has nothing to do with frumkeit. More like insecurity.
Back to the OP: Chofetz Chaim guys are awesome! They’re not into some of the materialism that plagues other yeshivas. Like they don’t have to wear Brooks Brothers, they don’t necessarily buy a diamond bracelet for their kallah and if they drive at all, it’s yeshivish cars. Most of the kollel families start out in what some call “the ghetto”, a bunch of garden apartments across the street from the Queens yeshiva that they’ve virtually taken over – don’t believe there are anymore goyim living there. But where they really shine is middos tovas in the Slabodka tradition. Some girls don’t want to marry CC guys because many are focused on going outside the NYC/Lakewood velts to start yeshivas and so forth. In that vein, CC guys are able to communicate better with those who are not yet frum, and that’s a quality that isn’t for every girl.October 13, 2015 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm in reply to: My daughter is in Sem in Israel and I'm scared for her #1111857
I definitely feel your pain, Nony. My daughter lives outside of Jerusalem, but my SIL attends kollel in Jerusalem. Everytime I hear of another incident I cry again for our brothers and sisters. It’s heart wrenching to feel so helpless. Yes, we need to daven, we need to say tehillim, we should give tzedakah to help victim’s families. But at the end of the day, only Hashem can control things.
That being said, Flatbusher is correct. Seminaries are probably cancelling planned teylim, and are definitely closely monitoring the girls.
Definitely spend a lot of time strolling through Chareidi neighborhoods. Malchai Yisrael on almost any day can make 13th Ave. look calm. Take the tunnel tour at the Kotel. You can safely take the #1 and #3 Egged buses to the Jewish gate of the Kotel that goes directly to the Kotel Plaza.
There are some great tours to Tzfas and Tiberas, we did Atzeret which is a frum tour. Visited lots of kevorim, although they do rush you a bit which makes a nice slow davening a bit challenging.
Stay out of East Jerusalem and the Arab quarter of the Old City. If you rent a car, don’t trust the GPS, since it doesn’t know political realities. Instead, have someone reliable map a safe route for you.
Most of all, enjoy the Holy Land. I didn’t get there the first time until well into adulthood and virtually kicked myself for not going sooner. It is a wonderful place, davening at the Kotel is so inspiring! And it’s also such a funny place, there’s always some sort of shtick going on, whether it’s the Nach nachs dancing on top of a van near the central bus station, crazy taxi drivers, or people who sit down at your table at a falafel place and start telling you a vaad. BTW, the falafel in Israel is phenominal, nothing like what we’re used to here. In fact, all the food is really good albeit the kashrus is confusing.
Just signed up with Cellular Israel for a short term, mainly because I wanted a smartphone in Israel (I don’t own one), and they had a decent enough deal for short term. But while I’m there I’ll pick up an Israeli SIM card and do the prepaid thing next trip. By then I’ll probably own a smartphone in the USA because they’re really not offering much else anyway, or I can buy a cheap phone in Israel I’ve heard.October 28, 2014 1:05 pm at 1:05 pm in reply to: When will Boro Park have a Shabbos Project and host thousands of BTs? #1038399
You all have such a condescending attitude about BP H’kodesh. If any of the residents paid any attention to all the publicity put out (Project Inspire was coordinating the project for the Metro NY area), you’d know that the idea was to invite someone. Not necessarily someone from your neighborhood. But perhaps someone from your workplace, or someone you meet randomly. I’d suggest you all watch Project Inspire’s Tisha B’av videos again and see how, for example, the Traveling Chassidim evolved. A few years ago I was at Projet Inspire’s convention and met quite a number of Chassidic families from both Williamsburg and Monsey who were delighted to have non-frum people as Shabbos guests. In fact, they often have an “advantage” in attracting the non-frum because they frequently get bageled given their obviously Orthodox appearance. And where do the guests stay? In your homes, not hotels. We’re already pumping up for the Shabbos Project 2015 (Oct. 23-24). All you need is a few interested people to get involved in any given community.
We can now add to the list of kosher DD under supervision, the DD located in Queens at the intersection of Main St. and Union Turnpike. It is under the Vaad of Queens (which is universally accepted). By arrangement with the Vaad, a mashgiach stops in on Shabbos. As is true of other locations, the donuts and other dairy baked items are not Cholev Yisrael. Milk used in the store is. They do make sandwiches with “bacon” and “sausage”, which are soy products. This sure is a welcome addition to the Queens community, and it happens to be a nice looking store as well.
So if the Rabbi of your shul came in on Shabbos with a light blue and pink pattern Izod brand, button down shirt given to him as a gift, it is all the same to you?
Shabbos attire is different then what a bochur wears on a daily basis to his yeshiva.
Someone I know in the restaurant business told me that every 5th or so DD does the baking for the other stores in its region. Even if the region is larger then 5 stores, as I mentioned before, the cartons that get delivered to the stores are clearly marked with an OU. Interesting, but their egg sandwich box also has the OU. Of course, those are heated up in their convection ovens, same as the bacon, ham et al, so no matter how lenient you chose to be, there has to be a limit! BTW, most of the stores I’ve been are run by Indians, not Muslims.
Dressbarn is very “hit and miss”, and like every other women’s store (including “heimish” ones), the skirts and dresses run on the short side these days.