Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
MR and DD are two distinct diagnoses, although they often coincide. DD refers to physical delays in development.
For switching programs, I find the easiest way is ALT-TAB, although you could just right click on the taskbar icon to open a menu of program Windows.
It would be ?? ????? to spill out the coffee.
Zev, Goofus, anyone else who has been made to feel wrong for asking a question: I feel your pain – I’ve been there, too. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater! Please know that authentic Torah Judaism encourages thoughtfulness and contemplation. As they say, there are no wrong questions, there are only wrong answers.
I concede that the “perhaps never” was a bit of hyperbole, but I still stand by the substance of what I wrote. Just as a few trigger-happy cops don’t exemplify what police officers are really like, so also a few dysfunctional Rebbeim are not definitive of what Rebbeim are like. This is why I called it a misconception. Furthermore, your experience, always a minority one, is becoming progressively more rare, as the field of Chinuch becomes progressively more professional.
In all likelyhood, your experiences were some time ago, at the hands of someone who never should have been in a classroom. This is why the misconception belongs in the past. Today’s Rebbeim are trained to welcome and deal with questions in a very healthy way.
I don’t know what your questions were, nor, as DY pointed out, what answers you were given. Of all the questioners I have known in Yeshivos, only two were made to leave, and both for the same reason [albeit from different institutions]. It was because they refused to engage in intellectually honest discussion. One even claimed not to believe in Abraham Lincoln! A Rebbe can not give an answer if there is not really a question.
The overwhelming majority of today’s Mechanchim welcome and encourage questions, and are not afraid to say, “Good question, let me get back to you.”
Students are seldom, perhaps never, ostracized for their questions, or, for that matter, any other reason.
It is time to leave the tired misconceptions of what schools and Rebbeim are like where they belong – in the past.
If you must daven a long s”e, at the very least please be sure to do so in a way that prevents everyone else from being able to leave when Davening is over. It is best to daven standing in the doorway.
Say no 77 days in a row.
Unless you choose to teach her that you will eventually give in – in which case, be prepared to agree to many more demands in the future.
newbee – For the record, ?? ??? ruled that Rebbeim are not allowed to strike. If memory serves (I’m sure DY will correct me if necessary), this is because Rebbeim are not paid to teach; they are paid ??? ????. Once they have no other job, they are required to teach for free. If a Rebbe feels that he needs a different job, he is certainly free to take one, but he can not refuse to teach Torah because he needs money.
Based on the Yeshiva at which I currently teach, as well as on other places which I have researched, starting in the mid-thirties for teaching half a day is pretty common.
Some places do offer full-time jobs, with other classes or responsibilities in the afternoons.
Not all Yeshivos (perhaps not even most) give regular raises.
An important variable which can affect the real value of the salary is whether the school pays on time.
Of course tuition, health insurance and other benefits are factors that vary from school to school.
I had no doubt that this was a RY thread.
For the record, I do not have a three month old child.
As I said, “If i understand correctly, Rav Moshe refrained from saying that timers are assur in the case of lights in deference to the fact that they were already in widespread use for that purpose, and so relied on an established precedent which, although debated among the Acharonim, he considered to satisfy the Zilzul problem.”
DY – I looked again, and am not convinced. The clearest (but not the only) indication that if it had not already been widespread practice to use timers for lights, Rav Moshe would not have permitted this either, is the language quoted below:
??? ????? ?? ???? ???? ????
?????? ???????? ??”? ?”? ???? ????
The sentence above was copied directly from the Teshuva to which you linked.
DY – Thanks for the links. If i understand correctly, Rav Moshe refrained from saying that timers are assur in the case of lights in deference to the fact that they were already in widespread use for that purpose, and so relied on an established precedent which, although debated among the Acharonim, he considered to satisfy the Zilzul problem.
Syag – I acknowledge that the lines you quoted are not a clear expression of what I meant to say. At the behest of DY, I tried to clarify this in my next post.
ZD – As noted in my first post in this thread, the ?????? issue to which you refer is not a problem because the money is paid up front.
DY – You’re right, I momentarily forgot that Rav Moshe did not extend his opinion on timers to lights. However, if I remember correctly, this was not for any clear Halachic distinction; it was rather in deference to what had already become widespread practice. His reason for disallowing the use of timers was that it was included in the ???? of ?????.
Thanks, DY.
To be sure, my comment was not directed at the particular family involved (whom I do not know at all). As you point out, whatever accommodations they did make for Shabbos may well constitute great sacrifice on their part, for who they are.
Nor do I believe that the conscious motivation behind any such activities or actions is the denigration or dilution of Shabbos. I don’t imagine that anyone was thinking to himself, “Wow! The Kosher Switch! This is finally my opportunity to really exhibit my distaste for Shabbos!”
My point was that, for many people (and again, this depends on variables such as background and upbringing), such conduct belies a subconscious, or simply unknowing, lack of appreciation of Shabbos.
As far as the lights, I would like to point out that if the ??? was told to leave them on and he did not follow instructions, then he may even be told directly on ??? to turn them back on. In general, though, you’re right that the lights are on timers (which, of course, ?? ??? held to be no better than a ???). Where I daven, the lights stay on the entire ???.
For the gambling aspect of all this, I often wonder if gambling in today’s society would be treated differently. I honestly do not know what it was like years ago, but today gambling is mostly a form of recreation. People pay admission to go to parks, and people pay for the enjoyment of a race or slot machine. The money is all paid in advance, so they avoid issues of ??????, and gambling (like all forms of recreation) is a huge part of our economy, which may mitigate the problem of ???? ??????? ?? ????.
Whether or not it is technically ????, it certainly does not seem like the type of thing that fits in to the lifestyle the ???? expects from us.
????? ?????? allows a ????? to benefit from work done for him by a ??? on ???, IF the ????? did not specifically require that the work be done on ???. Once the ????? indicates that the work must be done on ???, this ???? is out the window. Obviously, this includes a job which can only be done on ???.
The concept of ????? ?????? is that the ??? chooses to do the work on ??? because there is some benefit to him in doing it on ???, but that as far as the ????? is concerned, he could have chosen to do it during the week, or to do the same job on ??? without any ??????? (this is why the hired help can use hot water to wash the dishes on ???).
????? also does not apply, as DY correctly explained.
The real problem here, however, is not ????? or ??? ???. The real problem is that this is a total rejection of the sanctity of ???. The more a person bends over backwards to circumvent the ????, the more he shows that he views ???? as an onerous burden to be cast aside at the first chance. Please refer to Rav Belsky’s letter about the Kosher Switch.
If the Rav has expressed his regret to you, it would seem that it is your cheshbon to be ????? the Rav about what he did to your friend.
If you know that the Rav has not expressed his regret and asked your friend for forgiveness, perhaps you should find a way to remind the Rav that ?????? ???? ??? ????? ??? ??? ???????? ???? ?? ????? ?? ????.
Of course, this is a very sensitive thing that must be done with great wisdom.
It would be a great favor for the Rav, and would also help your friend heal.
Of course, one moral of relativity is that Hashem actually created the world in such a way that the physical reality is different for each person.
It is part of the fabric of our existence that every person has their own perspective.
The OP makes it clear why the Mussar approach did not work for him – he never understood what mussar is about.
As noted by other posters, mussar is not about “Hashem throwing wicked people in to Gehinnom and righteous people in to Gan Eden.”
Mussar is not about our conception of HKBH at all. Of course, the Baalei Mussar agree to the idea that Hashem is “my personal Creator” Who loves and cares for me, as well as to the many other characterizations of Him given by Chazal. This, however, is not the subject matter of the Sifrei Mussar.
Mussar is about our conception of ourselves.
Mussar is about cultivating the ability to consider oneself objectively, and to measure one’s own conduct against the standard set by the Torah in an unbiased way, so as to develop one’s connection to HKBH through total adherence to Retzono Yisbarach.
In anticipation of the anti-Litvish crowd, I must point out that even in the most ardent Litvish communities, emotion and feelings are, of course, an important part of Avodas Hashem, and even of Limud Hamussar.
Chassidus, too, addresses man’s conception of self. The Sifrei Chassidus differ from the Sifrei Mussar in that they were not written specifically about this subject (at least, not in my limited experience).
From what I can tell, the difference between what we call “The Mussar Approach” and “Chassidus” is more a difference of form than of anything else, and has nothing to do with what the Vilna Gaon held was wrong.
In fact, it is not uncommon to find the Baalei Mussar and the Chassidishe Seforim expressing similar ideas, albeit in different words.
There is no question that each of these forms (as well as the many other strains of Torah Judaism that exist) resonate with some people more than others. There is no reason to denigrate any valid approach to Avodas Hashem.
cchocker – I must point out that Eilu v’Eilu etc. is always in an argument where one side holds the other is wrong. Consider, for example, the case of Tzaras Ervah, where each side held the other to be committing an Aveira.
Interestingly, Eilu v’Eilu etc. is actually stated in the Gemara in reference to where the normative halacha is decided in accordance with one side!
Yserbius – Binge drinking is a form of alcoholism.
frumnotyeshivish – “Only an insane (or irrational) person would choose not to take something which has more benefit than cost. Period.”
I know you didn’t mean this in context of the anti-vaccine crowd, but if the shoe fits…
“Sister-Wife” may be the Mormon term, but there is a reason that the Torah calls her a ???.
Historically, even in the time prior to the Cherem, it was not common practice.
Practically, it is a very bad idea for many reasons.
I know it’s a side point, but I must protest the “jokes” employed by some posters to denigrate entire communities of people who have dedicated themselves to Torah, even if their dedication does not measure up to that of the tailors in previous generations. The sole purpose of these “jokes” is to undermine the respect we should have for people who spend significant amounts of time learning Torah.
So if someone else was running the country it wouldn’t be so hot?
Reading to your children early and often is one of the most important things you can do for their mental development. It is also a crucial part of cultivating a life-long learner.
If you realize that they are never too young for reading, they will never get too old for reading.
!
It depends on the school. In some schools, a degree is a prerequisite for any teaching position, in others only for general studies (but not for Judaics), and in others not at all.
There is also the question of whether your degree needs to be in education, or at least in the subject that you teach. In some schools a teacher license will suffice.
idk, RY
based on the OP, the topic seemed to be the relative advantages of various types of headgear…
It’s a shame that the alter heim wasn’t in the US, because if it had been, we would all be wearing baseball caps as a matter of religiosity…
[they are much cheaper AND much more comfortable]
One message of both Communist Russia and Nazi Germany is that there always can arise new, previously unimagined forms of extreme anti-Semitism and persecution of Jews, r”l. There is no question that if HKBH seems it necessary for the perpetuity of His people, he could engineer such an event once again, ch”v.
However, in the case of Western culture today, this takes the form of weakening our resolve and undermining our ability to withstand the onslaught of materialism and hedonism. Whether this is the objective of the iPhone is as irrelevant as it is unlikely. The bottom line is that we are suffering through a spiritual holocaust of epic proportion.
Like All midos, this tendency is neither inherently good nor inherently bad.
It can be used in a positive way (such as disliking dogs – which, btw, I do because I want to) or ch”v a negative way (like smoking).
I was just pointing out that it has great power that can be harnessed for a very good purpose.
It’s a good thing. Hashem created people this way to help them do the right thing. All you have to do is put yourself in the right crowd.
Of course, it’s best to do it for the right reason. However, until you reach that level, doing it to fit in is terrific. It is very detrimental that people nowadays totally discount anything that is not done for the best reason. I wish I could say I only did the right thing always, even if it was “just” because of yiras haonesh or so I could maintain my place in society.
Usually, the best time to panic is when the crisis is over, and you have time to think about what might have happened.
Waiting on line
July 11 (aka free slurpee day)
That particular vaccine has been shown to have an alarmingly high chance of a side effect called Autonomism (colloquially referred to as rebelliousness), which is very dangerous.
Is it only counselors? What about all the other staff in camp, like waiters, activity staff, lifeguards, camp driver, etc?
Thanks for the edification, CTLawyer.
“Reuven” had his heart set on meeting Rav Moshe Feinstein, so one day he made his way to MTJ for shacharis, where he hopes to catch the Rosh Yeshiva after Davening
As they finished Davening, an older man approached him with his hand stretched out
Reuven gave the man a quarter, which the man accepted, put in his pocket and walked on
Guess who…
?? ???? (However, contemporary Poskim prefer the ????? ??? aspect).
Also, you must be very careful when donating to non-Jewish charities not to violate Halacha.
There is no requirement to return it even if the owner is ???? ?????? because you found it after ?????, as I indicated above.
According to my friend, flat salary contracts are required to meet minimum wage standards when divided by the number of hours of labor.
Additionally, room and board or other amenities are not valued highly by labor courts in most cases (specifically, you can only count their actual value, not what you charge campers – and actual value is difficult to prove). Finally, even signing a contract does not waive your rights as far as wages.
I don’t claim any expertise personally, I am just quoting an expert in the field.
Technically, many (all?) of the frum day camps and overnight camps do not comply with the law on wages, and could get in serious trouble if anyone ever filed suit. So I’ve been told by a friend who is an attorney specializing in labor law.
Actually, it didn’t. If it had, I would not have responded.
It seemed as though you may have intended to provoke me, since I have [in this thread, as well as in several others] been quite vocal about the impropriety of how too many people in our community speak about the current president.
I didn’t really think this was the case; the disclaimer was just to hedge my bets.
?? ???? ??? ??? ????
DY – As has been discussed before (I think in the thread about the story of Rav Moshe and the Chalav Stam), if anything, the incident with the Chofetz Chaim to which you referred indicates that it is Muttar to speak Lashon Hara about yourself, although it may not be a good idea. [Otherwise, the Chofetz Chaim wouldn’t have done it.]
HaLeiVi- I don’t think it’s Lashon Hara to point out that someone is different, unless the way in which he is different is of a sort that it would be Lashon Hara to point out, or if being different in and of itself is a negative quality. It’s clear that when the speaker called Reuven an idiot for voting for BHO, he was highlighting what he considered to be Reuven’s poor choice of candidate (and what that choice says about Reuven). Presumably, the feeling is mutual; Reuven considers the other candidates poor choices, and he thinks that voting for them is telling about the voter.
Would it be Lashon Hara for Reuven to say (even in such a crowd as you described), “Shimon is such an idiot – he voted for Mitt Romney!”?
If the only Lashon Hara aspect is the crowd, I think it’s only ??? ???? ???.
As far as the trolling question, I meant: “Are you deliberately saying something to get me [a fellow poster] upset?” (which is what I always thought trolling meant), as opposed to just kidding. If you were trolling, there’s no point in responding; trolls are by definition not concerned with ????? ?????, so why would they care about Lashon Hara?
If you were just kidding, it nevertheless provides an opportunity to point out that the added phrase, “is an idiot” changes it from ??? to full fledged Lashon Hara.
I suppose by that logic that Reuven would consider it Lashon Hara to say, “Shimon voted for John McCain.”
Truth is, it would only be ??? ???? ???.
[Disclaimer: If you are just trolling, I retract this post, as you do not deserve a response.]
??? ?????? ???? ???? ???
nfgo3 – In that case, it would depend on whether the other people listening were aware that you had voted for Barack Obama. Assuming that they were, then it would definitely be considered Lashon Hara. If not, I do not believe that it is Lashon Hara, although it is most certainly Ona’as Devarim in any case (unless, of course, the speaker himself did not know how you voted).
To elaborate on the Goq’s point, if he would have said, “Reuven is an idiot because he voted for Obama,” that would be Lashon Hara.
Incidentally, although I personally voted for McCain and for Romney, I think that anyone who would say this is an idiot. This subject has been discussed ad nauseum in various other threads.
Ultimately, I think we can all agree that Yellowphelia and the effect it should have on one’s Shidduch prospects is a gray area.
Please note that no studies have yet proven that this condition is not caused by vaccines.
Ubiquitin –
“Pro-disease”…nice turn of the phraseology.
Stam – the point you seem consistently to evade in all of this is that although there are side effects to vaccines, the benefit so far outweighs the risk that it is dangerous to pretend otherwise.
Whether the people you claim to have seen get injured by taking vaccines actually came to their situation that way or not is irrelevant.
This is not to say that we do not empathize with people suffering from Autism or any other type of disease or condition; of course we feel terrible for these people.
The main point is that the overwhelming, vast majority of people are healthy and not at risk for crippling, debilitating, life threatening diseases because of vaccines.
The size of the study is roughly the population of the developed world. The time of the study is ever since vaccines have been developed.
I categorically reject the notion that the entire medical and pharmaceutical establishments, along with all Western governments, are participating in this massive conspiracy to destroy people for money.
Sorry, doesn’t work.
Lots of people have yellow clothing, but most wear black hats
PBA, thanks for the clarification – I thought you meant on Shabbos
LF – Sorry about that…I realized too late that you might not like the analogy.
Anyway, I knew that the OP was of the same opinion. I was protesting the use of humor to make a valid point in this case, since the subject is so serious.
Je ne parle pas francais, but your opinion was exactly my point.
DY – It should be noted that since ????? ?????, [presumably, when the Beis HaMikdash will be built] we will follow ??? ????, in fact it will not be allowed to have your cholent cook on Shabbos unless you are mafkir your crackpot, because of ????? ????.
The affront to ????? ???? which is constituted by the so-called Kosher Switch is no joking matter.
Our grandparents’ fight to maintain the dignity of Shabbos was against the work ethic of American society; ours is against the convenience ethic of American society.
I feel like a frog in a pot of warm water…
(Parenthetically, I must say that it would be an incredible waste of an opportunity to “cause the Beis HaMikdash to be built!”
It would be so much better to wait for the ??? ??? ????? so you can have the Mitzvah of building it yourself.)
I think it really depends on the shade of yellow that he likes.