yeah, Goq, it could be an Eli Hakohen and a Chanah type of thing. Eli thought Chana was drunk but she was just davening without making a sound.

I feel like people are turning marraige into a business venture these days rather than trying to make shidduchim just for the sake of shidduchim. It’s disturbing.

Wait, I’m confused. Is it okay to ask what happened?? If ayc is really gone, the coffeeroom will definitely not be the same! Please come back!! Please!!!!!!

Maybe we girls should increase our standards to teach you guys a lesson. Some guys think that they can walk around with a beer belly and shlumpy clothes and smoke and look like a bum and then have the nerve to reject girls that are way more presentable then them but maybe aren’t a size 2.

Grow up people.

Of course- you are absolutely 100% right, thank you.

and BS- who do you think you are??

Better, Mods???

yes, thank you

It did not happen in my shul, baruch hashem. I was on my way home simchas torah night and I passed a big, very prominent shul and there were men outside throwing up.

You don’t find it revolting to see grown men throwing up on Yom Tov because they had no self control? Okay, if your only intention is to be happier about celebrating the Torah then go right ahead. I don’t think thats the reason that guys are drinking. And theres a limit. Getting a little tipsy or high is one thing but to become so drunk that you pass out is another. (yes that happened in my shul)

No one should reject a shidduch suggestion if they hear that the girl isn’t a knockout or maybe is a size 6 and not a size 2. Looks are definitely important but physical attraction can set in after you get to know the person better.

figuringitout- i feel for you. I know (or at least i think i do) what you are going through. There was a time in my life where I was also going through something really tough. The difference is that my parents were the ones who wanted me to seek psychological help. I refused though because the whole idea just didn’t appeal to me. But baruch hashem I had an amazing friend who helped me a great deal and I got over those issues. I don’t really think that you should feel like you definitely have to see a psychologist but i don’t really know your situation. Never underestimate the power of a good friend, though. I wish you all the best and I hope you are able to get through this stage in your life easily. the coffee room is a great place to talk though ( unless someone knows who you are on here, then it’s awkward)

thats so sweet ayc and i just read ur response to my unsent letters post and that was great too. You’re on a roll

Although there really isn’t such a thing as being too tznius, there has to be a line separating tznius from unkemptand shlumpy. Tznius is showing everyone that you are so much more than a body, you are a precious neshama. However you can get people to realize this, do that. For example, if you are in say, Hershey park, and you are in a long sleeved shirt and a skirt that covers your knees people will look at you.but it’s not negative attention in the sense that they are noticing your body. Its just the way you are dressed that is attracting their attention.

However if you are actually embarrassed by the way your wife is dressing then you should definitely talk to her. Maybe you are just not noticing the details on the first robe that she felt made it untznius.

I for one, wish I could be on that level.

is it on youtube? I just checked for it but didn’t see it there.

this is a letter that I havent yet gotten up the courage to send

Dear _____________,

before I tell you what I have to, I want you to know that I love you. Even after everything thats happened, I still think of you as the happy innocent girl I once knew. This past year has been a very hard one for you. Your family situation was not so great and yet you told no one. You kept it to yourself and maybe thats why you did what you did. Maybe thats why you made the friends you did. I watched as you kept slipping further and farther away from those who truly cared about you. I cried for you and davened for you as I watched you change. Your skirts became shorter, your necklines lower and your overall attitude was indifferent. Me and your other friends could do nothing but watch you slip away.Maybe I’m being overdramatic but this is how i felt. We tried to pretend that everything was okay but it really was not.

The situation kept on getting worse, yet we did nothing. One day I was shopping with you. You told me you wanted to quickly check the shoe section so I went to try things on. When I cam out of the dressing room, you were done with the shoes and you went to try things on. After I had paid and we left the store, I noticed that you had taken something without paying for it and you were trying to hide it from me. It was impossible that you had done it by mistake but just to make sure I asked if there was anything you liked in the store and you said no.I said nothing. I went home that night and cried myself to sleep. I thought that maybe the situation would get better by itself so I still did nothing. Then you got involved with guys and things just got worse. But I didnt know what to do or say so I just kept quiet. Baruch hashem (to make a long letter short) someone in the community found out and tried to help you. Today you are doing way better and only your close friends know what you went through. The thing is, you still dont know that we know what went on so we have never talked about it.

It’s before Yon Kippur now and i feel that I have to ask you for mechilah. What happened to you was partly my fault. If only I would have said something sooner, maybe everything could have been avoided. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything you went through. I’m sorry you had to do it on your own. I’m sorry I was too scared to say something. I’m sorry. i hope you can forgive me for not being there for you when you needed me the most. I want you to know that I’m your friend and I’m there for you. Please try to understand that I thought that doing nothing was the best thing to do.

I had one once that would try on my clothes. And she would put anything on the floor into the laundry basket- like books and brushes and everything else. But it was the fact that I walked in on her trying on my clothing that she was fired.

boro park mensch

ouch!! However, I get your point so I’ll try to improve.

By the way, I am well over whatever the minimum posting age would be.

wow that woman sounds a little bitter about something. The comment was definitely rude but we still have to be dan lkaf zchus. maybe theres something going on in her life that caused the outburst.

queen bee- in starbucks when u order a coffee, they ask ur name so they can write it on the cup so when its ready they call out ur name and u get it from the pickup counter. don’t u ever go to starbucks??? I am addicted. try it.

just tried high maintenance (essie). LOVE IT!!

idk maybe i’m the only one who gets it 🙂

sry but tht

never mind

next time u go for a mani- try pale purples like lilacism and miss matched and demure vixen- u’ll become obsessed like me. i get one like once every other week and i’m reading what i just wrote and i feel so vain and gashmiyusish. but i think it’s impt to treat urself to a bit of gashmiyus once in a while as long as u dont go overboard colorwise- like neon orange or navy (which is awesome on a pedi) 🙂