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  • in reply to: Why the lack of Tznius on Internet Simcha sites?! #1153666
    cinderella
    Member

    You don’t want to see it- don’t look.

    in reply to: Sems like Machon Raya? #1120289
    cinderella
    Member

    I have too much seminary pride to say there’s anything that compares to it 🙂

    But I’d say Bnos Sara is similar- definitely much more yeshivish though.

    in reply to: Another Sem thread. But really, please- open me anyway! #1106683
    cinderella
    Member

    I lived with a kosher phone and really filtered internet in Israel. We had computers with pretty much just Gmail and Skype. And I can honestly say it 100% added to my year. It was so refreshing to be out with your friends and have no one on their phones. Don’t let that stop you from an incredible year in an incredible seminary.

    in reply to: Sems like Machon Raya? #1120286
    cinderella
    Member

    I went to Machon Raaya. It’s a very frum but not so yeshivish place. My year was 50% out of town and I loved that. It was a ton of work but you only go there if you are willing to push yourself and if you know you’re smart enough. The girls are very open minded and pretty laid back. one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

    in reply to: Another Sem thread. But really, please- open me anyway! #1106678
    cinderella
    Member

    Nu, anyone have any decent ideas? Which seminary is for frum yeshivish, some out of town, folks, that teaches strong yeshivish hashkafos, but isn’t an academic pressure cooker where you’ll have to write 1700 reports a week.

    For your criteria I’d say somewhere like Ateres or Seminar. But that’s frum yeshivish. She’s not looking for a frum yeshivish place. No seminary on the Bais Yaakov spectrum allows Internet access.

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1227643
    cinderella
    Member

    I never realized how fun it would be to share funny dating stories. I have a whole bunch of them for you guys!

    -I was in the Five Towns area and he picked me up. We were supposed to be driving to Manhattan but he got so lost and we ended up in New Jersey. It took three hours to get from my house to Manhattan. And it killed me that I knew the way but didn’t want to seem like an annoying backseat driver. So after the first four times I directed him I had to shut up and deal with it. It took every ounce of self control to not say anything when he took the wrong highway and bridge.

    -I dated a guy who wore really really nice shoes. Then I dated a guy who wore the same really really nice shoes. And it turned out they were in the yeshiva dorm together and one had borrowed them from the other.

    Then I have a couple of really funny and awkward ones but I’m scared to say them because for sure one of those guys are on here and that would just be embarrassing.

    in reply to: Funny Shidduch Stories #1227636
    cinderella
    Member

    I was on a second date and he drove down a one way looking for parking and found a spot. But it was head in, slanted parking and since he drove the wrong way, I knoew there was no way it was going to happen. He started maneuvering himself in and after about five minutes of me cringing and trying not to yell at him, he totally scraped the whole side of the car next to us. An irate passerby banged on his window and started yelling at him, asking if he even had a license and knew how to drive. I was so mortified. And then the man reached through the window and took the wheel and maneuvered him out. And then my date just drove away. Didn’t even get out to check the damage. And parked two blocks away. His car was bad,y scratched so I imagine the other one was as well. That was not very impressive.

    in reply to: Topics on dates #1101494
    cinderella
    Member

    First couple of dates are pretty much school, yeshiva, Israel stories, family, work, college…

    Third date is like the first 2 but more relaxed. And you can have the music/movies conversation. What you do and the hashkafic reasons behind it. But other than that, don’t get too into hashkafa until the fourth date.

    Fourth date you can talk about where you’d want to live, what kind of home you want to build…

    Fifth date you talk about all the whys from the date before.

    Sixth date you should already try to be opening up more- maybe saying something a little more personal or something that might make you feel vulnerable.

    And then from there you really shouldn’t have to plan conversation.

    When I dated, there were a couple of guys (including my husband) that on a 5th or 6th date, when we were really comfortable with one another, we’d just have question asking time. Like anything we were curious about, we asked. Those dates were always the best for me because it initiated some really amazing conversations and if you’re willing to be honest, it helps make a more personal connection.

    in reply to: Should I run from this guy??? #1100066
    cinderella
    Member

    Some people are at their worst on first dates.

    Most people try to present the best possible version of themselves on the first date. So if they’re awful on the first date, that’s not a good sign. You can say some people might be at their most awkward on their first date and may come across as strange or whatnot. But it’s a bad sign if they’re at their worst.

    in reply to: Touro College #1066822
    cinderella
    Member

    It’s not that hard to get accepted to. I don’t know of anyone who didn’t get in. I believe if you have above an 85 average from high school they’ll accept you. If you’ll pay them, they’ll give you a degree. I got a 50% academic scholarship just from my SAT scores. And I didn’t do that well. So I’d consider them pretty generous.

    in reply to: Why isn't more being done for shidduchim? #1066847
    cinderella
    Member

    1. The weddings halls are overbooked, the maternity wards are crowded and the pre-schools are packed – are you sure there is a crisis. I’ll believe there is a crisis when Maimonides Hospital announces it is closing its maternity ward due to lack of customers, when I read about wedding halls trying to find a new use for their facility, and hear about schools closing due to a shortage of students.

    First of all, don’t bring proof that there isn’t a shidduch crisis with the amount of babies people are having. That doesn’t mean there aren’t an overwhelming amount of people out there who are unable to find a shidduch. That means people are having lots of babies. And the fact that wedding halls are overbooked could just as well mean there are too few wedding halls. Not a proof either.

    What you said is like saying- There isn’t a recession, look at all those millionaires out there. Look at the thriving markets for luxury cars, homes, yachts and vacations. That doesn’t negate the starving and homeless. Not that I’m equating being single to being starving and homeless.

    in reply to: shidduchim: what's all this about middos? #1093697
    cinderella
    Member

    “But if I ask you what is the most important aspect of a car you are looking to buy, you don’t say 4 wheels.”

    Well yeah. Because it’s a given that the car has 4 wheels. You wouldn’t consider it if not. Same with middos.

    in reply to: Kosher Dunkin Donuts in Brooklyn? #1052906
    cinderella
    Member

    There’s one on Flatbush Ave and K I think. Or if not K then somewhere right near there.

    in reply to: #1043858
    cinderella
    Member

    cinderella:

    “No one I know has ever been said no to because of their seminary.”

    How can you know that no one ever turned down a shidduch with someone you know because of what seminary they went to?

    (How could even they themselves know?)

    Looks like you’re finished discussing this but I wanted to clarify- you’re right, I can’t know. I should have said as far as I know.

    in reply to: #1043792
    cinderella
    Member

    than, the boys wanna make sure that they will marry a girl from a good sem, and so then they only go out with girls from BJJ or hadar! AND THAN PEOLPE WONDER WHY THERE IS A SHIDDUCH CRISIS!!!

    I don’t know where you’re getting your information from but no. Just no. I didn’t go to BJJ or Hadar and I’ve dated really good boys. I have friends who didn’t go to those supposed Ivy League seminaries and they are happily married to amazing boys. Stop making things up. No one I know has ever been said no to because of their seminary.

    in reply to: How to answer questions regarding a shidduch #1042610
    cinderella
    Member

    Related to the OP, is it acceptable to refuse to answer questions from an anonymous caller?

    Yes. I’ve done it. Not because I really care giving the information but lihachis.

    in reply to: Krispy Kreme in Middle America #1042160
    cinderella
    Member

    Whoa, I used to post a lot. I remember this thread.

    in reply to: That moment when… #1034428
    cinderella
    Member

    Sounds vaguely familiar.

    in reply to: That moment when… #1034426
    cinderella
    Member

    Ummm…awkward. I don’t know what it means actually.

    in reply to: SEMINARY PICKS #1054247
    cinderella
    Member

    I went to Machon Raaya a few years ago. I think I once posted a long post about it if you want to try to find that. But if you have any specific questions I’d be happy to answer.

    in reply to: How can I know? #1033830
    cinderella
    Member

    Does anyone know the name of the concept that we never physically experience something, only our sensual perception of that thing?

    (Unless perhaps during an out-of-body/near-death experience…)

    George Berkeley’s theory of immaterialism?

    in reply to: Seminary vs Sherut Leumi #1037418
    cinderella
    Member

    Popa- Why exactly do you not plan on sending your daughters to seminary in Israel?

    in reply to: How can I know? #1033828
    cinderella
    Member

    Certain colors are known to have certain psychological effects – if we assume that our brains’ emotional responses to “objective” colors are uniform, then if enough of us were not seeing the same colors the same way, this could not have been an observable phenomenon.

    The thing with color psychology is that it could definitely be affected by factors such as personal preference and experiences, culture and whatnot. But then I Googled and read about it for a while and some people say what I am and some say it’s a consistent physiological reaction. So I don’t know. But I never thought about that so thank you.

    in reply to: How can I know? #1033821
    cinderella
    Member

    It’s kind of like the sight thing. I call the sky blue. I have been taught since I was a child that the sky and things that are the same color are called “blue”. We’ve all been taught that. So you call the sky and similarly colored things blue as well. But maybe you’re really seeing what I know as yellow. Maybe our eyes interpret the colors differently but we’ve all been shown the same objects and taught their colors. But our colors could all be different.

    But there is no way to know. You can only know what you’re seeing and what you’re feeling. And to compare wouldn’t work. Because we all define happiness based on how we’ve been taught happiness feels. So when you were an infant and someone gave you a cookie and said “Now aren’t you happy?”, you learned that whatever you were feeling then was happiness. And that it feels good. But that could be completely different from what I was feeling.

    And this could go on forever. We can doubt everything we know and feel. But there’s nothing we can do about it.

    in reply to: Things people in the CR find offensive #1038561
    cinderella
    Member

    Don’t you find it offensive that unmarried people are called “singles” as if it defines them?

    Just as offensive as married people being called “husband”, “wife”, or “couples” as if it defines them. We’re talking about their marital status, what else are you supposed to say?

    in reply to: Why R' Rechnitz is incorrect #1035736
    cinderella
    Member

    A girl who watches her prime years pass by because she only considers Lakewood and no college has herself to blame.

    I disagree with you. I don’t think that a girl who is only looking for a Lakewood type boy with no college has herself to blame. That’s what she is looking for. If you want to say that there are more girls looking for learning boys than there are learning boys, that’s okay. The girls who won’t go out with working boys are not at fault here.

    I think the problem with the whole system is that there are more “good” girls than there are “good” boys. And I think that is partly because the girls school system is better than the boys yeshiva system. And also because it is easier to be a “good” girl than it is to be a “good” boy.

    in reply to: Ending it after 10 dates over text #1027213
    cinderella
    Member

    The boy found the most proper indiscreet manner to courteously end their association.

    Courteous?! Are you serious? Sending a text to end a relationship is the least courteous way I can think of. It’s rude, disrespectful and insulting.

    The girl should not expect a romantic, goyish ‘breakup’.

    I’m sorry, I think that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in a while. A phone call is too much of chukas hagoyim for you? I’m pretty sure this lack of decency is more Hollywoodesque than a phone call and an explanation would have been.

    in reply to: Girl Refusing a Shidduch Because Boy is Shorter #1026976
    cinderella
    Member

    I wouldn’t go out with a boy who is shorter than me (without heels- 5″5). I like to wear 4-5 inch heels which puts me at 5″9 so I’d rather him be that height or taller.

    It bothers the guys just as much, if not more, when the girl is taller. Most guys will not even consider a shidduch with a girl who is taller than him.

    Only once was I taller than a boy on a date, because he was not the 5″10 his resume said he was, and I was really uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure he was too.

    in reply to: Bayswater Vs. Far Rockaway #1015689
    cinderella
    Member

    I’d say Far Rockaway is the better of the two. But I’m biased. Bayswater has its nice blocks and the area right on the bay is beautiful but a large portion of it isn’t very pleasant. The neighborhood bordering Far Rockaway and Bayswater is pretty scary. Bayswater does have more affordable housing.

    Far Rockaway is mostly Jewish- a lot of shuls, yeshivos and schools. The community is a varied one- there are a lot of younger families living there and a few shuls catering to them. It has the LIRR-a fifty minute ride to Penn, and the A train but that takes an hour and a half to Manhattan.

    It used to be a very close knit community- not so much anymore just by extension of the fact that is way larger than it ever was.

    You get the best of both in Far Rockaway- a nice New York community that’s just a little out of all the overwhelmingness of Brooklyn and Manhattan.

    in reply to: Couplets, haikus and any short poems by weird people #1209824
    cinderella
    Member

    Roses are red

    Violets are blue

    I have a poetic license

    So there.

    in reply to: Couplets, haikus and any short poems by weird people #1209822
    cinderella
    Member

    Roses are red

    Violets are blue

    I have a poetic license

    Washing machine

    in reply to: Psychopath or Sociopath? #992109
    cinderella
    Member

    There is a fantastic Ted Talk speech on psychopathy. Go watch it.

    in reply to: Couplets, haikus and any short poems by weird people #1209780
    cinderella
    Member

    Roses are red

    Violets are blue

    I have a poetic license

    Marshmallow

    in reply to: Your Teachers Were Also Wrong About Other Stuff #991313
    cinderella
    Member

    Esther wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the land.

    in reply to: Divorce in the Frume Veldt #987397
    cinderella
    Member

    Yacmo- we are talking about divorce in the frum world. Not in your ten block radius. That provides a valid representation for that area. To say that those same statistics apply to the rest of the frum world is inaccurate.

    in reply to: Divorce in the Frume Veldt #987394
    cinderella
    Member

    We live in a disposable generation. Why bother to fix something when you can just get a new one?

    Stop using your biases to prove your non-factual statistics. Using the people you know doesn’t prove anything about anyone but the people you know.

    in reply to: High school girls with Internet access #1044044
    cinderella
    Member

    TorahMom- it’s a ridiculous factor in your decision because every seminary has girls who had internet access, supervised or not.

    Also, no offense taken. Doesn’t matter to me where your daughter goes.

    It’s not being safe to not consider a seminary that has girls who had internet access. Safe is not allowing your own daughter access.

    in reply to: High school girls with Internet access #1044035
    cinderella
    Member

    Every single seminary will have girls who had internet access while still in high school. What a ridiculous factor in your decision.

    I went to Machon Raaya. I had internet access in high school. As did all my friends. So you can now take Machon Raaya off your list of potential seminaries.

    in reply to: Old Members Resurfacing #987138
    cinderella
    Member

    Streekgeek- me?

    in reply to: Shalom Bayis Question #986680
    cinderella
    Member

    You say that the issue with hiring a housekeeper is that she doesn’t need it, she wants it.

    So that’s my problem here. You don’t feel like you need it. That’s great but she feels that she does. You refusing her this because you don’t feel it’s an absolute necessity is plain mean. You’re putting your needs before hers.

    Okay, listen. Your wife of less than one year is carrying your child. She does not want to clean. She may not have the energy to clean. Regardless, GET HER CLEANING HELP. Stop getting stuck on your stupid reasoning.

    So what you do now is go run buy roses. Then pick up ice cream. Then bring both to your tired wife. As you massage her feet, tell her how you’ve suddenly realized how stupid you’ve been and how getting her cleaning help is your new top priority

    in reply to: Guilt trip speeches #975568
    cinderella
    Member

    Stop the guilt trip hashkafa speeches they don’t get through to people.

    If you’re feeling guilty, they’re obviously getting through to you.

    Which I know isn’t true just they think it is or they want to think it is. (Internet, facebook)

    This is an absurd way to view things. You sound like you’re in denial. If you don’t respect their opinions, and if you’re not mature enough to understand their point of view, don’t listen to them.

    in reply to: How do I make myself unlikeable? #974843
    cinderella
    Member

    See the thing is I can’t be honest with her. It would crush her. So I’m just being distant. Like avoiding her calls and taking forever to answer her texts… In a very nice way of course. Eventually she’ll begin to think that I’m not worth that much effort on her part.

    Hopefully this will work. Thank (most of) you for your suggestions.

    in reply to: Recipe needed for double chocolate chip cookies #972856
    cinderella
    Member

    Step 1: Make regular cookies.

    Step 2: Put in twice as much chocolate chips as you normally do.

    Voila! Double Chocolate Chips!

    in reply to: What is your favorite flavor of soda? #1185057
    cinderella
    Member

    Diet Doctor Pepper. A Super Double Big Gulp of it.

    in reply to: What Not to Share With Your Spouse #1000276
    cinderella
    Member

    I once read in one of the Jewish magazines that you are not supposed to share anything negative about yourself with your spouse. The author of the article gave the example of how you should not say something like “I’m so bad at math. I failed it in high school.”

    Because then he may think badly of you. Except I think this is a bit extreme.

    in reply to: Locking bedroom door when lending apartment #963110
    cinderella
    Member

    When I was in seminary, me and my friends stayed at someone’s empty apartment for Shabbos. We didn’t know them at all. We were four girls and they had left instructions for us to sleep in the master bedroom and the guest room. And they hadn’t taken the linen off. So I found myself sleeping on the mans bed. On top of his linen. I hadn’t brought my own because they had told us it wasn’t necessary. They had another bedroom so it wasn’t a space problem.

    I dunno. I would have preferred them locking the master bedroom door.

    in reply to: Sidewalk chalk #963392
    cinderella
    Member

    Okay, I’m sorry. I can’t really take you seriously. Firstly, you sound like a grumpy old man. Let the children have their fun. Defacement? Seriously?

    Also, you used the word Mishkebabled . Sophisticated argument you make there.

    I just don’t get how frum people just copy the non Jews with everything.

    ?

    in reply to: Ideas to make the fast easier? #961119
    cinderella
    Member

    Cook.and bake. It’s surprisingly effective.

    in reply to: Yummy Pizza Dip #959445
    cinderella
    Member

    I’ve only been able to find it in Israel. But it should be pretty easy to make. Crushed tomatoes, crushed red pepper, garlic, a little mayo… Play around with the recipe.

    in reply to: Do you fold your slice? #958901
    cinderella
    Member

    I eat it halfway and then when its mostly crust, I put fries in it and fold it.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 464 total)