☕ DaasYochid ☕

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Viewing 50 posts - 5,601 through 5,650 (of 20,610 total)
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  • in reply to: What to do (law school question) VERY IMPORTANT #1152917
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Mazel Tov to popa on graduating.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153230
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    We have no idea which girls do not get to the point of shidduchim within the yeshivish community or which ones go back to Israel for shana bet, put off dating for a year allowing their older sister to date, decide to finish a degree first

    and

    First prove that there is an age gap to close.

    Are you proposing that the average shidduch is between a boy and girl of approximately the same age? Even if you haven’t observed the surplus of girls, surely you have observed that the typical shidduch in the yeshiva community is with a boy a few years older than the girl.

    You said I misrepresented the age they were promoting. Earlier you had mentioned that NASI promotes shadchanim focusing on girls older than 19 or 20, and I mistakenly used those numbers about the age they promote for boys to get married.

    Fair enough. Surprised, though, that you would take such a negative approach to what NASI is promoting based on one of my posts.

    in reply to: peanut shaver mutar to use #1152959
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Not if you’re allergic.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153229
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    That’s why I posted what I did.

    Either way, if you are aware that most people have a different observation than you, you should be more neutral, and certainly not bad-mouth an organization which is trying (and succeeding to some degree, as far as I can tell) to alleviate a serious problem.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153227
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    If you deny this self evident observation than no use pursuing discussion of age gap since you don’t recognize the existence of the shidduch crisis in the first place)

    I disagree. Someone who has not observed that there are more eligible females than males can still extrapolate that there are from the other available observations.

    in reply to: La ha dahm #1152953
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Actually, ?? ??? ????? ?????, to be precise.

    in reply to: Why the lack of Tznius on Internet Simcha sites?! #1153646
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The assumption is that when you see an engagement announcement and a picture of a young couple, they are not brother and sister, but the chosson and kallah.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153219
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    And like the vaccine thread, any questions which have been repeatedly answered yet asked again as if they are brand new questions are met with ridicule.

    FTFY

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153217
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Ok, correct me.

    There are not more girls than boys born every year. There are more girls entering shidduchim than boys.

    And the only time I mentioned age was referencing girls who get married at 19/20. How does that qualify as misrepresenting the age which NASI is encouraging?

    I’m sorry, I thought you were referring to the age of boys.

    What point were you making about the age of girls?

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153216
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    If you can’t put up some decent evidence

    There’s no decent evidence that you have a nose. Nevertheless, when you sneeze, please use a tissue.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156186
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    When I get vaccine, I ask for the one without thimersoral. Costs the same

    Doesn’t taste as good.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153213
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    and more girls being born each year than boys

    No. That’s not true, and not even close to what I said.

    Where have I misquoted you

    Right there.

    My “misrepresenting” was referencing the girls who get married at 19/20 instead of the boys at 21.

    I lost you there.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153208
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    She’s not bringing sense or logic to to discussion when she keeps misquoting me regarding “birthrate”, and then misrepresents the age at which NASI is suggesting more (not all) boys get married.

    As far as sholom bayis is concerned, I have spoken to (and seen quoted, the quotes which I was able to confirm) several roshei yeshiva who feel that lowering the age for some to 21-22 will not have a negative affect.

    Your argument is with them, not the askanim who are proceeding based on their opinion.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153203
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I don’t think there’s a point in responding if you keep misunderstanding what’s being presented.

    in reply to: Why the lack of Tznius on Internet Simcha sites?! #1153628
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The fault in those cases has to at least equally be shared with the “friends” who post without permission.

    in reply to: Why the lack of Tznius on Internet Simcha sites?! #1153626
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I agree with MA.

    If you need to make a chillul Hashem and show pritzus “not to hurt people’s feelings”, don’t make a website or at least don’t post any pictures (YWN’ simcha listing doesn’t have pictures).

    in reply to: Why the lack of Tznius on Internet Simcha sites?! #1153623
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    and it’s nice that we are willing to celebrate with them and post whatever pictures they send in, even if it’s not a picture we would ever take ourselves (within reason, obviously). Can you imagine how hurt a couple would be if the sites refused to post their picture because they were touching each other?

    That is the most perverse logic I’ve ever seen from you, Sam.

    How untznius should we allow? (Don’t answer that).

    Perhaps if frum society would not accept bad behavior, less would happen. We always say that (correctly) about abuse and fraud, why shouldn’t we say it about public pritzus? Is that not also a chillul Hashem?

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156178
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Lol, I had missed that post. I’m sure it was tongue-in-cheek.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153198
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Simple logic

    Logical to assume that there are enough male (above the number of femake) baalei teshuvah to marry 10% of the frum girls? Not on this planet.

    Find me 19 and 20 year olds on a large scale who are ready to get married.

    That’s not what they’re suggesting, so yes, if you don’t understand the math of age gap, plus don’t have an idea of what their solutions are, it’s likely you’d have a negative opinion of them.

    in reply to: Sefira game #1155016
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    With or without spleens?

    in reply to: Where does shacharis start and end exactly #1152772
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Clearly he is complelty frei since after aleinu every siddur has the ani maamins and shiesh zechiros therefore they must be integral parts of shacharis too I’m not sure why he indicates it would be ever ok to skip it.

    For the benefit of Okiale, who may not be familiar with the style of various posters here, I will point out that ubiquitin is exaggerating here when he calls theprof1 completely frei (irreligious).

    His point, I believe, is that not everything printed in the siddur is a requirement to be said, and it is a correct one.

    in reply to: Sefira game #1155013
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Every day?

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153195
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    To clarify, I’m sure you and popa have only good intentions, but the effect of inactivity vs. closing the age gap is fewer girls married, and more tzaar.

    I don’t think NASI has ever advocated that girls be not allowed to marry until a certain age (I certainly haven’t), although there have been a few such ridiculous comments on the CR and letters to the editor in frum publications.

    What they have advocated is that boys and shadchanim try to focus on the girls who aren’t 19-20, and now, that boys who are ready to get married should do so younger, and not be held back by convention. Is there anything objectionable to you about those ideas?

    in reply to: Where does shacharis start and end exactly #1152767
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    You’re welcome – how did it go today?

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153194
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I’m still not sure how that translates into more single girls than boys.

    I don’t know which part you don’t get.

    that still doesnt account for people who marry baalei teshuva etc who were not originally included in the numbers.

    There’s no good reason to think that impacts the numbers in a big way.

    Allowing people tzaar or to not get married

    Yeah, I don’t know why you and popa want to do that.

    to promote closing an age gap? That sounds really odd to me (and I hope to you as well).

    So odd, that only the ones promoting doing nothing until we have “scientific proof” are promoting people no getting married. The NASI initiatives only promote people getting married.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153188
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The paragraph implies that Hashem created extra boys for the sole purpose of an age gap defense

    Who said anything about a “sole” purpose? It may be one of many chesbonos He has.

    in reply to: Sefira game #1155011
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    31

    in reply to: Where does shacharis start and end exactly #1152765
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    That’s great!

    I don’t think you need to say Kitores. Not everyone says it, so start with the basics only.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153185
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Kapusta, there are two separate things – how many boys are born compared to girls (slightly more), and overall family size.

    Family size is the one which affects population growth. Population growth takes place in a given population if enough children are born so that the next generation is more populated than the previous. At 5-6 kids per family in the yeshivish community, we’re well above the “replacement rate” – i.e. the average number of kids per family which would keep the succeeding generation the same size.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153182
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    DY, how are you reaching the conclusion that there are more girls in shidduchim than boys?

    Mammele and I explained it.

    Also the part about some extra boys being a chessed makes me very uncomfortable hashkafically

    Not sure why.

    that doesnt take into account the first grade girls who marry other fourth grade boys who weren’t counted in the original numbers.

    Or the extra first grade girls who weren’t counted in the original numbers. Is there any compelling reason to think there are so many more fourth grade boys than girls? I would think if anything more girls entering and more boys leaving, but I don’t think there’s a big impact either way.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153178
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I am not talking about birth numbers, I am talking about numbers in shidduchim, so birth numbers don’t say anything different than what I did.

    The only thing I said about birth numbers was to acknowledge that slight discrepancy, but point out that it doesn’t nearly overcome the population growth/age gap discrepancy the other way.

    It’s a chessed from Hashem that there are some extra boys born, because otherwise the crisis caused by age gap would be even worse than it is.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156154
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Wow. Am I really unique in that I feel that I can trust my doctors? The doctors I use really take the time to answer my questions. I was once by a practice that allotted like 2 minutes per visit to answer patient questions. I switched to a place that really takes questions seriously and takes the time to give a thoughtful answer.

    Your new doctor is a lousy doctor. If (s)he was any good, she’d have too many patients to have time to answer all the patients’ questions.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156146
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    doctors make 10 times the average salary of their clients

    Hogwash, plus they invested a while lot more time and money into their careers than the average person.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153176
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Kapusta, there are more girls in shidduchim because the population is ka”h rapidly growing, so each subsequent year, there are more children, and the girls born three years later (so there are many more children) are being paired with the boys born three years earlier (when fewer children were born).

    Apushatayid, nothing to do with elderly dying, everything to do with population growth, the effect of which far exceeds the small percentage of boys over girls born in a particular year.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156135
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Hey Daas, it’s you who brought up that flawed analogy, not me.

    It was you who made it flawed by taking it too far. Maybe I should have made your sweat analogy flawed by pointing out that arrogance can’t be washed away with soap.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153173
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So you’re assuming (as is very popular, for better or worse) that there are more single girls then boys. What makes you think it’s not the other way around?

    I see you also don’t really understand the age gap theory.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153172
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Apushatayid, if after all these years discussing the shidduch crisis you still think the disparity between the numbers of boys and girls is based on the number born, there’s no point in continuing the discussion.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156130
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Avram, welcome to a world in which most physicians couldn’t make a living if they spent the amount of time with each patient that’s really needed.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156129
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    and then proceeds to tell you she refuses to clean your teeth until you start flossing

    I didn’t know plaque was deadly and contagious. You learn something new every day.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156122
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Imagine your plumber comes to the house and notices that your pipes are rusty and leaking. So he gives you a stern talking to.

    Or your dental hygienist lecturing you about flossing.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156118
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Seriously though, you can do a blood test to check for antibodies if you’re really concerned that your kids don’t have immunity to something.

    What if my kid can’t tolerate the vaccine? Anyhow, it’s not specifically about my kid.

    I don’t believe I have ever asserted that a majority of doctors are bad apples.

    You do make it sound like that’s a very common experience.

    That said, the ones I have met who don’t have huge egos patiently and tirelessly explain the benefits of vaccines, actually take a minute or two to sympathize and address the parents’ fears,

    I’m glad they have the time to do that instead of treating patients. My pediatrician doesn’t. Maybe he does waste his time on this nonsense anyhow, at the expense of my kids or other patients; I don’t know.

    and are flexible to scheduling vaccines as parents feel comfortable.

    Yes, they should do that.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156109
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Avram,

    Those knee-jerks would exist even if doctors were all sweetie pies with all the time and patience in the world for nudniks. Perhaps fewer. It’s still a lousy excuse to endanger the population.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156105
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Bad reason.

    That would be like someone being annoyed that when he calls a busy posek for a shailah, he won’t go through the whole sugya with him, so he starts an anti-kashrus movement.

    Bow you know why we think anti-vaxxers are a bunch of r****ds.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156103
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Would you really expect a pediatrician to engage in open discussion about the same topic with every meshugener anti-vax parent who comes in? She’s come to her conclusion a long time ago, and has every right to say that if you don’t agree with her approach, go find another pediatrician.

    A lot of pediatricians are overbooked as it is, and some don’t take new patients at all. Why should they waste their time rehashing the same nonsense over and over again?

    in reply to: Putting on teffilin without saying shacharis? #1152855
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Do you mind if I ask a personal question?

    Why does it take an hour and twenty-five minutes to get out of the house?

    I thibk you should see if there’s a way to be more efficient with your time, leaving time to daven.

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153169
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    are we still working off of that one study which, if memory serves me, was basically a list of girls and boys who had graduated from specific schools/yeshivas and how many of those were single/married?

    I’m not.

    I’m working off of the fact that our population is ka”h growing because families average more children, by far, than the replacement rate, and that shidduchim typically start at several years older for boys than for girls, and most shidduchim made reflect that in the age of the chosson and kallah. Do you dispute either of these two facts?

    If there are studies showing that there are more unmarried “older” girls than boys, it merely suports the obvious ramifications of those facts.

    Any mitigating factors (baalei teshuvah, overseas, etc.) are merely speculation, and counterintuitive.

    Those pushing for boys to marry younger have clearly said that they only suggest it for those who, with agreement from their rebbeim, are ready for marriage.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156099
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Shame on us for publicly expressing our grievances and committing who knows how many transgressions of at least lashon hara, and possibly more.

    Where? What loshon hora?

    in reply to: Defining “The Shidduch Crisis” #1153167
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    So you admit that it’s not a fix-all? 😉

    In my experience, much of the effects of the “crisis” (for now, that would be unmarried singles) are being blamed on the age gap without looking at other factors. Perhaps that would have been a better way to phrase it.

    Can we do this on another thread? I was enjoying the discussion here.

    Of course it’s not a fix-all. It only addresses the disparity in the numbers of males and females in shidduchim. There are some (plenty of) unmarried men, so there are obviously other issues.

    I think I put the continuation of the discussion here:(http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/gee-thanks-anti-vaxxers/page/3#post-610863) on the perfect thread.

    in reply to: Gee thanks, anti-vaxxers #1156094
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Kapusta, will do, bl”n.

    Defining “The Shidduch Crisis”

    Excitedforlife, not any more than any use of medications, or any hishtadlus we do.

    in reply to: Sefira game #1155010
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    30

Viewing 50 posts - 5,601 through 5,650 (of 20,610 total)