☕ DaasYochid ☕

I never mentioned a word about age gap.

The OP talks about more girls than boys. The way that’s being addressed (attempted at least) is by reducing age gap.

Maybe you’re in your own thread.

just trying to explain why not everyone is jumping on the age gap wagon- because there need to be other people who are dealing with the other issues. Sometimes when one aspect is pushed with lots of PR it pushes other issues to the side so that people stop thinking about them.

Sorry, that’s just not a good reason to ignore the disparity, or tell people that they they’re demonizing women, they’re in denial about other issues, or that there isn’t a shidduch crisis, etc.

I think you made some good points earlier:

Why does it take so long for some people to find each other? As ubiquitin stated, what part of the process is going wrong? Is the problem in the networking, getting the right names? The actual dating process? The attitude to dating/marriage? For different people, there will be different answers. We need to figure out what goes wrong and how to solve it- better preparation, dating coaching, helping youngsters figure out who they are and what they really need in a spouse before they start dating, improved networking- especially for OOTers and those who wouldn’t be getting redt shidduchim otherwise, maybe making use of databases.

I think dating coaches and databases are good ideas. Especially dating coaches. It seems to me that it’s far too common for singles (especially older singles) to turn down good shidduch prospects for what seems like, from an outsider’s perspective, issues that could be worked on.

Of course, “helping youngsters figure out who they are and what they really need in a spouse before they start dating” is a good idea, although sometimes they need to start dating until they figure it out; the thing is, that’s not specifically a shidduch issue, it’s more of a life issue.

and sometimes it feels that those promoting it are ignoring other issues that also need addressing- and these are not side issues.

The age gap theory explains the disparity, not overall numbers.

Age gap proponents haven’t solved world hunger either, but why is that specifically their responsibility?

The two issues are certainly related, but that doesn’t mean they have the same cause and are dealt with the same way.

When I started dating nearly 3 decades ago, the boys also had lists of girls that outnumbered the boys 10:1, there were unmarried older singles, and this was before the population explosion.

There was already enough population growth which would allow age gap to cause a disparity. People were unaware of the age gap explanation, but it was true then too.

The good thing about all this discussion, is that it shows that people care and that singles should not feel ostracized or alone.

This I agree with, and I appreciate the positivity. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that people who are trying to help by identifying and trying to correct a demographic issue are somehow to blame for not necessarily identifying and correcting other issues, and aderaba, are somehow accused of “demonizing” women.

How can I be lying when I am QUOTING Dr. Zimmerman’s
OWN WORDS

Because you omit the part where he says it’s not specifically vaccines, and in fact the diseases people get when they don’t get vaccinated are more likely to be a cause.

Please answer my question: is Dr. Zimmerman for or against vaccines?

the 5% are 5% of boys. (I didnt work out the numbers, the point is not all boys are “locked in” marrying only those girls.

Whatever. My point still stands. Both points, in fact.

So if as few as 5% of boys marry girls their age or older the theory kind of falls apart.

For those girls, I guess it does… What about the rest?
Also, what if another 5% of boys married girls 6 years apart?

Gotta check it out.

From what I’ve seen, in the U.S. there are about 2% more boys born than girls, and girls survive childhood illnesses at a higher rate than boys, so the discrepancy is slightly less when they reach the age for shidduchim.

Do you have a different observation?

Are you allowing for people to have other views of what the problem is

Do you mean the problem, or the cause of the problem?

There can be multiple problems, and multiple causes of any or all of the problems.

Blockquotes look horrible no matter how you use them.

Right, Avram in MD?

it shall be permissible for a school bus owned, used or hired by a public or
nonpublic school to park at any time, including overnight, upon any street or roadway

Then it qualifies that it’s not really any street or roadway.

I think a subset of available men (full-time learners) are more prized culturally, so a larger population of women are trying to be matched with a smaller population of men from the outset.

That would partially shift the disparity to one subset, and presumably help a different subset. It wouldn’t change the overall numbers.

And the potential for a man to be matched decreases with age more slowly than for a woman.

Again, that doesn’t change the numbers, it just makes it even worse because it increases the age gap, and makes it even harder for women in a certain age group.

The population growth rates being thrown around here, however, are inflated by an order of magnitude

What do you think it really is?

and it is highly unlikely that a 2-3 year marriage age gap within this growth regime alone is the primary reason men get significantly more shidduch opportunities than women.

I guess that depends what the growth rate is…

Also, if older men frequently marry younger women, as you implied, that would make the gap even higher.

In other words, you agree that it will create a disparity in the number of available boys vs. girls, just that it might not reach “crisis” levels? Okay, I’ll buy that.

There were many gedolim who disagreed with Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l on many things. This is one of them.

Sure an age gap in marriage in an increasing population is one potential factor at play, but I seriously doubt that it is anywhere near the primary driver for the larger number of single women.

Why wouldn’t it be? What would be a bigger factor?

and then Hashem with me help all of us directly

I hope that was a typo

That’s a load of bunk.

You don’t think we need more lounges?

I need a good book for a Heimishe minded business start up plan.

How does a heimishe minded business differ from a non heimishe minded business?

If they’re under stress and pressure, why is it mindless to want to find a solution?

I think lowertuition11210 kind of ended the debate…

I somehow don’t think a baas yisroel will confront a prosecutor in beis din shel maalah charged with learning talmud.

Whether or not it’s assur doesn’t depend on your own boich sevaros.

when they ask you why , you’ll know you’re nearing end of the the trial.. It’ll be the last question.

That’s a good reason to do an aveirah…

He’s not any more unhinged than he was the day he announced he was running.

How we deal with Christians is not a proof that hilchos avoida zara don’t apply today.

Of course hilchos a”z applies today, the question is, where does voting for a candidate who happens to be an oveid a”z fit in?

b) people who vote based only of the issue of Yeshiva funding.

I thought the point was selling out values for a tangible benefit, yeshiva funding being an example.

I think I’m this case it’s more probable if was actually using it as an extreme. And not as a straight troll.

I agree. It’s an exaggeration to make a point.