DaMoshe

And your point is???

No, he doesn’t think the entire Lakewood is a mistake. He just acknowledges that there are many problems with the system as it exists, and doesn’t have answers for fixing it.

I can tell you that Rabbi Bender is different than most Roshei Yeshiva today. When I was in Darchei, he actually encouraged me to go to college. He told me, “You’re not cut out to sit and learn! Go to college, so that you’ll be able to support a family.” R’ Altusky (the Rosh Yeshiva who gives the highest shiur in Darchei)tried to convince me otherwise.

I once asked R’ Bender about why we have the kollel system we have today – it hadn’t existed before! He told me that after the Holocaust, the Chazon Ish said we needed to rebuild. Many Rabbonim had been lost, and we needed a foundation of Rabbonim to exist as frum Jews. He said we should encourage full time learning so we could have that again. He said that should happen for 3 generations, and then we’d have what we need. We could then go back to the way things were, with most people working to support a family, and only the elite learning full time.

But, R’ Bender said, that message wasn’t publicized. Full time learning was pushed, and the reason wasn’t explained why. He said it’s about time to switch back (and he told me this over 10 years ago!), but people have had it drilled into them that full time learning is the only way to go. They think it would be terrible to switch back to the way things were for centuries!

He told me it’s a big problem, and he doesn’t have the answer for it. His words were, “I try to help my bachurim. What can I do with everyone else?”

I quickly skimmed through this thread, and now want to add my 2 cents.

I agree with some posters who said that people come back from yeshiva/seminary brainwashed into thinking a kollel lifestyle is the only option that is “right”. I have no problem with someone sitting and learning – with a few caveats. First, they should come to that choice on their own, not be pushed into it. Second, the husband MUST have some means of supporting a family when the time comes.

In the Ketubah, it says the husband will provide for his wife. Yes, the wife can choose to work so the husband can learn. But what happens if she decides it’s too much for her, and needs him to work? Does the husband then decide to go to school for a degree? You’re then looking at college bills when you’re already paying rent/mortgage, for diapers (possibly), food for a family, and possibly even tuitions! Not to mention that the schooling can take a few years! If a husband doesn’t fulfill the ketubah, the wife has the right to ask for a divorce! Is that what we want?

A man should have the means to support a family. Once he has that in hand, he can go learn if he wants. But he needs something to fall back on!

A good friend of mine learned in kollel for a number of years, until his wife told him, “I’m working 2 jobs, we have 3 kids, and I’m burned out. It’s time for you to help out!” He immediately enrolled in school for the next semester, and found a job in the meantime. The job was ok, it brought in some money, but not enough – it was supposed to help him out while he was in school. But you know what? He was paying a mortgage, 2 tuitions, and day care. It wasn’t enough. He went to our Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Bender shlita, and asked him, “Why didn’t you warn us? Why didn’t you tell us how hard it would be? We were told to sit and learn in kollel, that it’s the best option. Now look where I am! My wife is ready to have a nervous breakdown, I’m not far behind, and I have 2 years before I finish my degree! You need to tell people the reality of what a kollel life is like!”

R’ Bender agreed with him, and told him it’s one of the biggest problems in the yeshiva world today – that they purposely don’t tell the bachurim that, for fear of scaring them away from the kollel life.

Just to note, R’ Bender is amazing at helping out these families. I won’t go into details, but he provides tremendous assistance to the people in his kollel, when they decide it’s time to go to school so they can support their families.

Rema711, let me explain to you what a blood libel was/is:

They mostly took place in Europe, although there were some in other areas. Christian residents wanted a reason to kill Jews. They would kill a Christian child (or take one who had died), and claim the Jews had killed it. They claimed it was done so the Jews could use the blood to make matzos with. This resulted in a mob which would usually go to the Jewish areas of the town/city, and begin butchering the Jews who lived there.

Obviously, Jews don’t use blood to make matzos, and they didn’t kill the child. So the entire story was fabricated. If you look up the definition of the word “libel”, you’ll see something like this:

“a published false statement that is damaging to a person’s reputation”

To say that constantly reporting on abuse in the Jewish community is a blood libel is not true. It may be biased reporting. It may be antisemitism (although I don’t believe it is). But it’s definitely not a libel.

If anything, the libel in the abuse cases is when many Jewish communities blame the victims, and claim they’re making up stories to get someone in trouble! That would be a libel. In fact, I believe that’s the reason it gets reported on so much. It’s not as much the abuse itself as the attempts to cover it up. They hold rallies to raise funds for the abuser. The victims are ostracized. That’s why so much is written about it. When there are cases where everyone cooperates, almost nothing is written about it.

I like how he writes, “even if the pizza has a reliable hechsher certification.” Why is that an “even”? If it doesn’t have it, you shouldn’t be eating it any day of the week!

When I was in Darchei Torah, the yeshiva used to order pizza for the melava malka each week. They also usually had leftovers from Shabbos. So they’d use one side of the dining room for pizza, and on the other side, they had the fleishig stuff. Some people would have pizza, wait a bit, then go have some cholent and kishka.

Rema711, how can you say it’s a blood libel? Yes, they report on abuse in the frum community, but only when it’s actually happening. The blood libels were 100% false, usually made up by Christians as an excuse to attack Jews.

The usual reason abuse in the frum community gets reported on so much is because of the attempts to cover it up, and the rallying around the abuser.

I know of a few cases of abuse where it wasn’t covered up, and everyone cooperated with the police. Guess what? There was a small article about it once, and that was it. Never another word about it.

Rosenblatt was a great chazzan, and was also a good frum Jew. Kvartin was also a great chazzan, but was not really frum.

I once heard that someone asked, “Who is better, Rosenblatt or Kvartin?” The response was, “On Rosh Hashanah, Rosenblatt is better. On Yom Kippur, Kvartin is better, because he drank some water to loosen his throat while Rosenblatt didn’t.”

So the question was asked, “If Kvartin sounds better on Yom Kippur, why does Rosenblatt get paid more?” The response was, “Because he davens 2 shemoneh esreis, one quiet, and one loud. Kvartin only davens one, so he gets paid less.”

FrumRav, you mentioned applesauce earlier. The cRc says that “Unflavored, unsweetened applesauce does not need a hechsher.” You can look it up, they sent it out as a Twitter message this past December.

With the vegetables, you left out the part where they listed the exceptions. Again, a quick look at the cRc website will show that they also say frozen vegetables are kosher, with a list of exceptions. The lists don’t sync up exactly, but some research of other hashgachos shows that there are disagreements on the veggies I looked up. A good example is potatoes – the cRc lists them as an exception. Others say they’re fine as long as they’re not fully cooked through.

There are plenty of issues with OO. The kashrus rules of one OO synagogue shouldn’t be your focus.

I’m usually rushing to finish the final preparations for Shabbos – I set up my wife’s candlesticks and put on the tablecloths, and obviously need a shower for Shabbos. I usually drive to shul on Friday afternoon, and I make sure I’m there before candle lighting time so I’m finished with any melachah by that time. I then read divrei Torah on the parshah until Mincha starts.

I don’t think it’s categorically assur to go to a mixed gym. It depends on the type of gym. If a woman wants to go, dressed appropriately, why should it be wrong? If a man wants to go, and he stays in an area where there aren’t women dressed inappropriately, what’s wrong with that?

Wow, you were gone for almost a whole week! It’s a wonder the CR didn’t fall apart without you!

Let’s get this straight. You joined the CR on December 6. You replied to a thread 6 days ago, and then stopped until today. You were active for all of a month then took a break for a week. How did you think the CR would do without you? You asked if people missed you? Honestly, I didn’t even notice you were gone.

I think the biggest thing that could help was mentioned by oomis – allow boys and girls to meet sometimes outside of the standard shidduch system!

R’ Yosef Breuer zt”l once said that he was against separate seating at weddings. But, even if people insisted on doing it, he stressed that single people who were “in the parshah” should have mixed seating. Why? Because, he said, “Mitzvah goreres mitzvah. We want to make shidduchim, and we want the boys and girls to meet each other! We want dates to come out of this wedding!”

I will tell Feif Un that you enjoyed and bumped the thread!

I did not get a chosson Shas. My Father-in-Law asked me if I wanted one, and I told him I already had a Shas I’d been using for years. Instead, he bought me other seforim which I did not yet have.

A dorm is usually done by the yeshiva the boy is attending. Since you’re asking, should I assume the yeshiva doesn’t have one?

I learned in Darchei Torah, which is in Far Rockaway, and they do have a dorm (I know, I stayed in it!)

Mods, is there a way to hide a post until the reader clicks a button?

Here are the steps I followed to solve it (it only took me 10 minutes to recreate). I put the clue number before the step where appropriate:

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house. – second house is blue

13. The German smokes Prince. – not the first house

8. The man living in the center house drinks milk.

12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer. – not middle house

The second house can’t drink coffee, smoke Dunhills, or be the Brit, because it’s blue

4. The green house is just to the left of the white house. – House 3 can’t be white, house 5 can’t be green, and house 1 can’t be green or white

5. The owner of the green house drinks coffee. – not the middle house. Therefore, House #4 must be green, and drinks coffee. That means #5 is white.

1. The Brit lives in a red house. – the only colors left are yellow and red. We know the Norwegian is in house 1, so he must be yellow. That means House 3 is red, and is the Brit

7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill. – house 1, the Norwegian

11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill. – house 2

So at this point we know the following:

House 1 – Norwegian, yellow, Dunhill

House 2 – Blue, horses

House 3 – Brit, red, milk

House 4 – Green, coffee

House 5 – White

3. The Dane drinks tea. – can’t be house 4

12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer. – can’t be house 1, because he smoked Dunhill. Only drink left for house 1 is Water

15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water. – house 2

13. The German smokes Prince. – not house 3

For house 3, the only brand left is Pall Mall

6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds. – Brit, in house 3

2. The Swede keeps dogs. – not house 2

13. The German smokes Prince. – not house 2

House 2 must be the Dane, and therefore drinks tea

Therefore, house 5 drinks beer

12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.

Therefore, house 4 smokes Prince

13. The German smokes Prince.

Therefore, house 5 is the Swede

10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats. House 3 is birds, so house 1 must be cats

2. The Swede keeps dogs.

The only item left is the German keeping fish.

No, but you can post it in a separate thread and write “spoiler alert – answer to zebra puzzle” in the title.

My wife’s sister lives with her family in Ramat Beis Shemesh. They are definitely chareidim. They have a neighbor who is not frum at all, whose son was going into the army during the fighting in Gaza earlier this year.

The neighbor told my SIL how she’s nervous for her son, but also proud of what he was doing. My SIL told her children to daven for him. She got the full name of the boy, and gave it to her kids. They also took it to yeshiva, and told their Rebbe what the situation was. The Rebbe told the class that they need to appreciate the soldiers, and daven for their protection. He wrote the name of the boy on the side of the board (don’t know if it was chalk or a whiteboard), and said, “Have in mind that our learning should be a zchus to protect him! If anyone else has names of soldiers, we will add them to the list!”

Every morning after that, the Rebbe would start class by reading the names of the soldiers, and saying out loud that their learning should be a zchus to protect them.

My SIL told her neighbor this, and she broke down crying in appreciation of what they were doing. Showing appreciation causes a great kiddush Hashem!

I don’t think it’s the same. As frumnotyeshivish said, there are two parts to this – halachic and political. If your Rav holds it’s assur to go up, then don’t! But there are many big Rabbonim who hold that with the proper preparations, you can go on certain parts of the Har HaBayis. If you follow one of those Rabbonim, there is no reason not to go. Obviously you shouldn’t shop around for a heter!

The political question is a different one. My personal belief is that the Arabs claim it incites violence, but they’re really just looking for an excuse. If it wasn’t this, it would be something else. They want to kill Jews, plain and simple.

Lior: Ok, can you tell me what really happened?

My post from a few months ago http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/getting-closer-to-hashem easily relates to the story of Icarus. We all need to know our place!

Honestly, I don’t know enough about the details of Hilchos Shabbos to argue with them. I just know that my Rav told me it’s a bunch of garbage. I seem to recall reading an RCA statement on it, although I can’t find it now. It rejected the app.

I only hope that it never gets released. I think that anyone who actually uses it most likely wasn’t really keeping Shabbos beforehand either.

I have an iPhone 5. I avoided getting a smart phone for years, but after getting promoted at work, my company wanted me to have one. I said fine, you want me to have one, you pay for it! So they are! I was told that sometime in the next year I’ll be upgraded to an iPhone 6. I don’t care that much either way.