Forum Replies Created
so nice that people dont think twice about saying LH about a klal-i call that piggish.
Observeteen-having dealt with these problems myself numerous times being in kiruv krovim and having had to steer at least 10 girls away from bad boy friends, I’ll tell you that you were def right to talk to her. She trusts you, and is tellling this to you for a reaction. that is a. Be calm with her, build up her self esteem, and my advice is to tell her to listen to Rabbi Wallersteins shiur on Torahanytime.com called the magic touch. It is unbelievably powerful. Maybe just suggest it and let her toy with the idea.
13 is a scary age for someone to be used already. Good for you that you are oding something about it.
I AM APPALED THAT PPL ARE SUGGESTING THAT SHE JSUT WALK OUT OF THE MARRIAGE!
how can someone not knowing the full story and both sides advicate such a thing???
Op-its so sad for me to hear wut you are going through. You need to go to someone who knows you both and not ask advice from everyone. In the mean time, be the best you can be. I know a couple, hu went thru gehemin together. He wouldnt go to counsling, he was abusive verbally and the screaming/ breaking dishes were constant. She didnt get herself together at all and he felt no attraction to her. He slowly started slipping down in yiddishkeit and cursing and missing shacharis became a constant. But she was devoted and determined to make it work. And they started so small. After much pleading and begging they went for a walk and decided on that walk to give eachother 15 minutes a nite, to discuss wtvr they needed to, in quieter voicesand that small thing they kept to. And many times theyd argue those 15 minutes, and it wasnt peaceful. But she davened and made sure for that small time to get herself together nicely and be there, and make it her priority. And her recognized that and appreciated it. I want to tell you its 14 years later and they are an example of what shalom bayis is. A beautiful family and beautiful marriage. he is learning full time now and things worked out. I’m not saying this should be ur solution. Maybe you need to start somtheing small, talk to a rav, wtvr. I’m just saying that im appalled by how easily ppl can suggest to walk out. i understand they want to help you and encourage you and side with you, but then we ask why the divorce rate is so high.
hold strong. go to ppl hu understand both sides, and do ur part and most improtantly daven.
I personally grew up in a home of divorce, and I can def say looking back, that it cldve 100% have been prevented. No, its not like this in all cases. But dont heed advice from ppl you dont know and hu will encourage you to make such a step
The only rite ppl on this blog have is to support you and encourage you to seek other help and sympathize. THAT’S IT.
good luck. I really hope things turn around for you and look happier soon.July 21, 2011 1:51 am at 1:51 am in reply to: S(h)morgasbord. Love it. Love the word. Whats your favorite? #873434
rosner! my favorite word is parsniket! thts so cool
i dont get it
love a yid-say it say it! im so curious 🙂
This has become so out of hand.
Ezhar-firstly, to conversation prior to intimacy, i asked an extremely riable source hu doesnt want me to reveal name bec there mite be differeing opinions. When he hrd this he simply began to laugh and the though. Wolf, back me up.
Whatrutalkingabout-Naive? I dont think so. Having a reason to trust because I unlike others apparently see a loyalty in my husband? perhaps.
After this post I do see both sides, just as there are 2 sides in any scenario. However, lets not overdue things.July 20, 2011 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm in reply to: How do you tell a good friend you no longer want to eat at their home? #1051868
Say, “I know longer want to eat in your home because I dont truest your kashrus.” Nothing like a bit of honesty.
agreed. of course there are circumstances when divorce is necissary, so no one should judge. However, its important to stay married! r Pam said tht 95 percent of marriages can be salvaged if ppl dont come for help wen theyve reached a breaking point. so if its hard, reach out, and get help. but dont just start talking divorce. r avigdor miller said the word divorce shld never be mentioned in a marriage and is poisen
end of story.
MG AND BPT. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DIVORCES THESE DAYS?????? ppl need to work things out not just say if it doesnt improve take out the get. Unfortunely in todays day and age everyone much easier wants the “out” and on to the good life rather then working on something that SHOULD BE PERMINENT! marriage is not something to through in the garbage when things get a bit rocky!
listen, i myself gained a crazy amountin pregancy from water retension. I went from being really thin to plus 50 lbs-not pretty-but BH for good reasons. But you also have to be realistic. He shouldnt reject you, however you shld do ur best to look good and presentable. If the weight is bothering you or him, then try to work out and get rid of it, tell him you understand where he is coming from, and try some more exersize. Just make sure ur both understanding of each other.
brotherofurs thanks for being honest i appreciate that.
How did you stop?
lol true middle path 🙂 or rather, take the road less traveled by and that made all the difference.
not sure i got ur whole string but ok…however back to the matter at hand i checked with someone about al tarbe and they said that there is such and inyan with the wife-there is nothing wrong with socializing and being married and bonding etc but some do say to not be excessive in the area of just shmoozing to much and neglecting other respponsiblities.
Also, I asked about wut someone mentioned about not talking before intimacy and they said its completely rediculus and out of line
your probably rite minyan gal.
dont stifle ur kids bbut keep them safe bederech hateva
i think this is rude to publicly post-wut if you exclude someone from the “Top names” list and a, she sees this and gets hurt or b, she looses business over it. Careful ppl!
I see that I have treaded a path crossed before…sorry.
Speaking of paths, does anyone know the poem the road not taken?
alz is git-when jewish singers copy secular music it makes me sick.
adorable-i sadi my friend. Thats a. B im agirl so i shld hope im not the husband.
Yes she def has too much time on her hands but thats by choice.
clever-obtaining info that bring a dif view point-and a negative veiw point for the life of a jewish girl. She lost her foccus.
Middlepath i think wut you are doing is the right thing its not wrong. To check ur cell and show disinterest isnt normal, its rude. i wouldnt continue going out with a guy hu is that blunt on a date. But, to answer the OPs question more directly, you can tell everything thru eye contact. The eyes are windows to the soul.
Gluck all with finding your zivugim!
adorable and zaidy-trust me i def agree with not having internet or a computer-if i wasnt finishing college i wldnt have it.
Zaidy-sharp answer-i enjoyed it.
haha there goes dr pepper with his quick wit!!!
adorable-yes i am new here.
I’m not quite sure you have to respect someone that denies Hashem…
mdd i was referring to slinky type of long flowy skirts that outline the shape.
oomis- i had the same question…. I’m going to find out about this. You gotta love this cr and everybodies crazy opinions!
we do derech HaMelech-we use a generator 🙂
lol Dr. Pepper thats hysterical!
There is nothing wrong with very long skirts.
so this shabbos when my husband asks if i enjoyed my week i shld say i cant tell yolu bec ur not supposed to talk to me? LOL THIS COFFEE ROOM IS TOO FUNNY FOR ME!
haha you guys need help. dw oomis, my husband “shmoozes” with me and he learns chazal as well. Imagine a marriage that ppl talk just in order to raise there kids. conversation is as follows: Hello, Hi did Yanky go to Cheder on time, Yes, Okay I cant talk to you anymore. what in the world?
unfortunetly these days very frum ppl have distorted tzinius. Tzinius is a certain class. Its the way a princess would dress . that being said, mere requirements such as, cover your knees doesnt suffice. Yes cover your knees, but does tha tmean you should wear a skirt that has funky sequins all over and sweeps the floor as you walk? its a sensitivity. Our generation unfortunely lost that sensitivity to style. For example, style says wear straight skirts only otherwise ur weird. However, does that straight skirt cover your knees at all times? does it show ur every form and movement when you walk? etce etc. So no, there is not jst a list of requirements that anyone can give you.
hu is moshe kohn?
lol nah it was ttly fine she called me and told me and i just started laughing-i have a very distinct way of talking so she was able to tell. It was cute 🙂
huh? arayos issues? im confused…
Bad sites. Not contacting other men but polluting her brain and bringing false ideas of marriage into her house, thereby causing her to not feel truly happy
why do you say its accepted?
I’ll try to find out-I’m not sure that there is a reason for it-it may be more like a chok-just as stepping over nails is….but I’ll see about the wood bli neder
Yes but she cant help herslef. Nor does she really want to do anything active to.
ya I’m looking for an office type of job. I’m rly not picky. Just something that pays decently and that is past paced-I hate a slow boring office.
That’s frustrating that you were also laid off…
economic crisis anyone??
Kapusta-that is a great idea-I did that already but unfortunetly most thingss that the chesed organizations want is office based-not the type you can do at home. But thanks for the ideas everyone!
id love to write tp my grandparents if nnot for the fact tht they both just died 🙁
Music is great. But it doesnt satisfy bordom or keep you occupied. Its sort of a side step.
And Another Name, true, however i guess that type of chessed i still need to work on 🙂 (The other type as well, but yknow…)
Any other ideas that can keep me occupied?
Besides for this wonderful CR? 🙂
do you like the song “you raise me up so i can stand on mountains….” My favorite.
I’d say start small. Like neutral songs like the above one i mentioned. And delete obscene artists such as raps etc-id list names if i didnt think the mods wld delete the post…
and then go full fledged jewsih-i ttly hear u thats its hard. Its a rly hard tranision.
I personally love older jewish music as it appeals to the heart and doesnt merely copy half way wardly the secular stuff which they cant imitate.
And no, a lot of times wen jews complete with the secular stuff its terrible if you can compare-so id say go to the REAL jewish ones once you feel ready to make the step.
True…I guess I’m just usually the giver, and really not the taking type so its hard fo rme to be in the reverse situation
is it really still a problem if you are trilled with your spouse? Like if you dont feel the need to compare cuz you feel you got the best?
Golden Mom, that is awful! I think from that story i made my decision.
and the Goq-thats a good suggestion.
But I dunno, i think that husband and wife should trust each other enough to know that they arent going to be “looking” and “comparing”
i dunno if its a problem at all real brisker! thats why im posing the question.
And cmon, hus goiing to sit there thinking that the other wife is more attractive or wtvr?
bor-wut in the world is a kindle?
happiest-Amen and thanks for the ideas. BH my husband is doing great about straighning up etc. but then agian like you say, its not me and I’m a perfectionist! but i dont wanna make him nuts so i sorta let it slide, but i still see it! know wut i mean? About neighb orhood teens, id hate to impose on anyone…