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I’ve read many of the above, and by far the best are LIVING EMUNAH, volumes one and two! They have changed my life and entire perspective on every situation that arises! I bless Rabbi Ashear…
In my case he was guilty of abuse physica and mental–and arrested but his chums in the neighborhood decided they can’t believe or picture that he could be an abuser-he’s sucha nice guy as they know him or the face he shows the world-it must be the ex wife lied so we will still be friends with him and don’t believe her. It’s something so crooked and unfair and shocking. And yeah i do believe these people will pay in front of Hashem for their bad judgements and sinat chinam
I know of a case where the woman refuses to accept a get, they already have a civil divorce, she just wants revenge, trash-mouths the husband all over town—and beit din in brooklyn, ny, is now recommending heter meah rabbunim to the husband.
It’s well known that when a woman dresses “to kill,” ie. Very long, fancy styled sheitel, VERY high spike heels (platforms etc), tight clothes (even if they cover knees and elbows) , this is a sign of insecurity and low self esteem. She is screaming out for attention, “hey, look at me!” Obviously she’s not getting enough validation or attention from her husband and she needs it from others; in some cases I’ve heard that the husbands themselves tell the wives to dress like that because THEY, THE HUSBANDS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE INSECURE and they want all their buddies and other men to look at their wife and lust after her. In all these cases therapy is in order. In addition they’re unfortunately racking up aveiros by causing men to have forbidden thoughts or gaze at them too long…
I’m a big Trump fan but I’ve become so disgusted at his lack of a filter on his mouth! Just a couple wks ago he was ahead by 6 points, now he’s behind 10 points, all because of his stupid comments. Hillary is probably the worst nominee in history, she’s got so much going against her, and if he’d only focus on going after all her deficiencies (lies, emails, Benghazi, FBi investigation, third term of Obama, etc.) he’d win easily and by a landslide! But because he keeps running his mouth, insulting every person who says a bad word about him, he’s now where he is… G-D help us,
Homeschooling is a Terrible idea! Don’t do this to your kids! They need to grow up feeling like they belong, like they’re like the other kids, that they’re not “different !” They need the social interaction day in and day out; there is no way to replace the socialization factor that school provides! Having them at home all day, not having recess to share with the other children, and feeling like the outcast will be terrible for their self esteem in the long run! And yes, this advice comes from a licensed social worker who has experience with children and this Issue.
How can you say the hand holding is ok when it’s clearly assur and will allow others to think its permissible???
I’m afraid you too are unaware of how these sites work, They most certainly do know that the couples aren’t yet married, as they have them listed as ENGAGED!!!
I don’t think you’re understanding what type of people are posting the pics on these sites…,these are not strictly “modern orthodox!” These are yeshivish people (I know some of their families) who should know better, have been taught better!
Well what I was referring to specifically is that the couples are very obviously touching each other in the pictures…I think there’s a much bigger problem here that many are neglecting to address. Why is it that these frum couples not not don’t seem to know the Halachos of Negia, but they don’t even realize to be ashamed to show the world publicly that your not Shomer Negia! Can it be they don’t know it’s Assur? Do they not care? Which? And why do they think it’s fine to show the world their aveiros (assuming in worst case scenario that they’re aware they’re sinning!)??? I’m puzzled, and of course, the Simcha sites should indeed make a rule that only pictures that are tzniusdig and conform with Halacha will be posted!May 24, 2016 1:30 am at 1:30 am in reply to: LOOKING FOR A DIFFERENT SHUL IN FLATBUSH EAST 30's #1152940
We are pretty yeshivish but have davened in Shuls that had a mix, like out of town. Don’t want a Shul where women don’t dress with Tznius, etc.// not judging, just concerned for my sons and would be more comfortable showing them the type of hashkafa which is important for us.
What? The leash must not be taut? I was taught that it must be taut! Which is it????November 3, 2015 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm in reply to: For those who don't like gefilte fish, an alternative #1110944
Try baking Geri,the with salsa on top.,. Spicy or mild. Delicious. Even kids love it.,,
Deserts? Did you mean the Gobi desert? The Sahara? Or did you mean DESSERT?
Cholera Chaim in brooklyn would be considered more modern than some other yeshivas.
I’m always surprised when someone speaks for others, yet is completely misinformed on the topic at hand. I happen to know many MO who do indeed go mixed swimming, and go to public beaches as well…
When you say the MO may “eat dairy or fish outside the home,”—while I understand what I think you meant to say, I’d imagine others didn’t. Please clarify that you meant they might eat dairy or fish IN A NON KOSHER RESTAURANT!
Word is that the vaad is most machmir from all the other major kashrut agencies which some of them rely on just the Baal Habayit’s word, with almost no regular inspections from the certifying agency. Vaad has regular inspections and doesn’t allow leniency which the other major kashrut agencies do allow. You’d be surprised that the biggest most well known ones are very lax and kashrut violations go unreported because there’s no major over-seeing agency to keep them all straight, that’s why it’s comforting to know Rav Goldberg has stricter standard than the others, so you know he doesn’t allow these stores and catering halls and restaurants to cut corners and get away with violations at all. He’s been known to quickly drop those stores and caterers and restaurants that he catches trying to not conform to his standards, I don’t believe the others do that. They just keep warning them to stop. Meanwhile all of us are reliant on these agencies and c’v eating something improper is a very serious thing and is M’tamtem the Leb.
Don’t believe you for a minute. I know the Rav well, and his son who’s in the vaad, he’d never speak that way, he’s humble. Tells people he’d never tell others it’s ok to eat what he himself wouldn’t eat. Better check your behavior and being Motzi Shem ra especially during the 9 days. The vaad is for sure one of the most (if not the most) reliable hechsher out there today, no politics there, no being bought off for money, no dishonesty, just straight up honesty about kashrut.
Unfortunately your comments show that you are not well informed on the topic of how dangerous talking in Shul is, and the effect it has on others. Any talking in Shul causes the Tfillos of EVERYONE in that Shul to be blocked from reaching Shamayim! There can be no “live and let live” Attitude, therefore, when it comes to this. It’s inexcusable that everyone else has to suffer because of the inconsideration and lack of middos of the others who Come to socialize/ don’t take Davening seriously/ can’t control themselves. Shul should not be a social hall during times of tfilla and those who can’t stop talking should stop coming.
How can you say farfel
Is the same price everywhere? People on a budget do need to find the best prices possible and all stores’ prices aren’t equal. I agree KRM is lowest prices.
Shell station or Basic Colors
I think the situation in Israel is horrendous, where parents must buy an apartment for the newlyweds, and if you’re unable to promise that, you can barely get redt shidduchim for your child!
Strauss bakery on 13th ave makes the most outrageous vanilla challah….tastes like sweet rolls…once you try it you’ll never want anything else,
Empty nest prevention? If you have a daughter lose to this new child’s age, how does that help empty nest prevention? If your child is feeling jealous, I’d suggest you carefully monitor your behavior towards the new child, as you must be showering extra attention on her in order to make her feel welcome, while your own child is perhaps being treated in a somewhat less attentive manner.
All I could think of when I saw the first post in this thread is, if after considering the reason for Sefira and why we don’t listen to music, take haircuts, etc., how you can say it’s too difficult for you to abstain from hearing music, is beyond me. Do you really think the sacrifice is too great? Really?
One thing all you people are forgetting. There are no statistics when it comes to Frum people. Hashem tailor makes each jew’s situation, and no studies or statistics are relevant when it comes to what Hashem feels is right for each person.
There’s one very simple answer: too much time one one’s hands.
Hopefully it will expand to other areas of. Tznius. In my area unfortunately the norm has become to wear skirts/dresses above the knee. I wish our women would realize that it is not becoming of royalty like us to lower and degrade ourselves this way, and cause men to sin.
I have had a similar problem with the Myssaf in my Shul….speak to the Rov and be honest about your feelings!
Cong. Mevakshe Hashem doesn’t charge. It’s on Ave K near Nostrand. Rov is Rabbi
I’m not understanding what this talk about tailors is…who uses tailors for their skirts? Those comments must be coming from men who aren’t familiar with women’s clothing stores. You walk into the store, try on a skirt and buy it. And the maxi dresses are not at all form fitted or tight! They are completely loose, and A-line, like a gown would be. I own a number myself so I am very familiar with what’s in the stores. Obviously people are making a conscious choice to buy the short ones which don’t cover the knee. It’s all a matter of priorities. I can’t imagine that someone who cares about Halacha and wants to do the right thing, would not want to be told if they’re doing something improper.
Huh???? “The length of a woman’s skirt is beyond her control?” I don’t know where you got this info from, but every store has longer and shorter skirts and it is absolutely a free choice to every woman to decide which she prefers to buy. Matter of fact, right now maxi skirts (very long, to the ankles) are in style and there is absolutely no problem at all finding longer skirts.
And how do you know the person wouldn’t be Mekabel the Mussar? Perhaps some people just need a kind, gentle sway in the right direction to make them realize that just because many are doing it, doesn’t make it Muttar. Isn’t it an obligation on our part to try?
I beg to differ. The Torah says that one is obligated to give Mussar when they see another Jew sinning. And believe me, this problem is prevalent, and these are not new Baalei Teshuva doing it. I know many of them, and you can clearly see that some are married to husbands who are Yeshivish-dressed…. I’ve seen the transformation in many of them who used to dress properly but now don’t and I believe it’s because they see so many others doing it, they’re just trying to “fit in” with what’s unfortunately become the norm. Many send their kids to very Frum yeshivas and know how to dress properly when they go for interviews in yeshiva or to PTA.
Quite honestly, any husband who insists on forcing his wife to stay in a marriage she’s unhappy in, no matter what her reasons are, is unstable. Such a marriage where only one wants to be there has no chance of succeeding Ina healthy way and will on,y teach the children how to function in marriage in a Dysfunctional way.
Everyone is in denial about their own death. Facing it and acknowledging would be too paralyzingly for most people. Ignorance is sometimes bliss,
Anger is the most destructive and a killer of relationships if not worked on and controlled every day.
Do not ever ignore signs of anger in the potential Shidduch. I made that mistake hoping it wasn’t anything serious. But it I’ll only get worse after marriage and lead possibly to abuse. Also notice inconsistencies in the personality, where you can see sometimes a very strong personality and other times a completely different (so etimes child-like) side to the contrary. People who appear stable and even have responsible jobs can be totally unstable on,y in their emotions.
If indeed your facts are correct (and believe me when I say that in majority of cases the charges the wife makes are true! The police put them thru vigorous questioning and re-questioning and it’s not easy and very foolhardy to try to fool the police) mi have to say you’re contributing terribly to the problem! If you know of a lawyer who has broken the law this way and deserves to be disbarred it’s your obligation and others’ to speak up! If you bemoan the system that allows false accusations to be made, and you claim to know for a fact that lawyers are encouraging it, you’re only perpetuating the problem and helping it to be repeated with this crooked lawyer’s help!
And yes I know of the complete opposite of such cases too. The problem is so many in our community are too quick to believe the “frumme ” fine man we know on the outside can’t possibly do what he’s accused of, that’s wherein lies the problem, people judge and conclude without knowing anything. So many of you are making light here of the woman’s desire to end the marriage as if she just woke up,one morning decides she’s not happy and foolishly picks up and wants out. That’s absurd, most times it’s because of very serious issues and just because you’re not privy to the truth of what went on in the home don’t assume you understand and can judge and agree that the man has any right to withhold the get. He doesn’t, and Hashem Yisborach will hear the cries of the Agunos who are suffering at the hands of their miserable vindictive husband.
I find your story very hard to believe. How could you possibly know whether the molestation did in fact happen or not? Also, no lawyer would ever encourage their client to make up such a story because they could easily be disbarred. I find that all too often people are too quick to believe the wife made up stories about the “Frum, innocent tzaddik of a husband who couldn’t possibly have done what she says he did.” Some people are naive and ignorant enough to not understand that just because a man is nice and Frum and kind to people on the outside, that he could have a different side to him when he’s home with his wife and children. Do you really think all child molesters look like monsters? Do they wear a Sign? No they look like regular people on the outside and some (gasp) even have long beards, remember appearances can be deceiving and not be so willing and trusting to believe foolishly that the wife must be making up stories. Remember there is a reason she wanted out of the marriage and lots of times it’s because of abuse, whether towards her and or the kids,August 24, 2014 11:22 pm at 11:22 pm in reply to: What's your favorite restaurant in the NYC/Brooklyn area and why? #1029476
Wrong, it’s part of NY STATE,
I don’t know where some of you are drawing your conclusions from. Do you know for a fact that divorcees are offended by offers of help? Because the ones I know couldnt appreciate it more. So I think you and Gamanit just decided on your own that this is what it is without bothering to find out the truth. How could you possibly make such a generalization? Did you take a survey? How many divorcees do you knew who were offended by offers of help? It sounds just plain ridiculous. Or does it maybe make you feel less of an obligation and less guilt to think you don’t need to offer help or extend invitations because probably the divorcees wouldn’t want it anyway???
You’re exactly right about all you wrote and you sound like a wonderful neighbor and Friend who understandswhat real Chesed is and how it should be extended.
How do you know what “most divorcees want?” Have you asked most of them?
Absolutely yes, they do invite couples and families for Seudos all the time. For some reason the divorcees and their kids don’t get the same invitations. I don’t understand your attitude at all, so I’ll just be dan l’kaf Z’chus and conclude that you simply have no knowledge or xperience with the his issue at all and are likely naive and ignorant on the topic. Trust me it’s hard enough leading a Shabbos table and hoping to make it normal as possible but there’s nothing to take the place of showing your kids a “normal ” family setting where there. Is a loving couple so the kids learn what to emulate. Can’t you understand that? And yes the onus should be on the people who should be doing the inviting and making the divorcee and the kids feel welcome and wanted. No one wants to have to go begging for invitations, especially not knowing when it’s convenient. That’s just ridiculous to expect them to go asking “can my kids and I join you for Shabbos Seuda?” Would you feel comfortable doing that?
No the father can’t take the boys to Shul when it’s the mother’s weekends to have the boys with her.
I couldn’t disagree more with your suggestions. The divorcee is going through a hard enough time with the stigma of divorce, people taking sides without knowing the truth about who did what to who, and asking for invitations is very uncomfortable for many people. I believe the onus should be on the inviters. Look around you next time in your neighborhood for who might need a meal and some company. Don’t wait for people to ask you to invite them,most times it will not happen unless you’re very close to them which is a whole different issue.August 24, 2014 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm in reply to: What's your favorite restaurant in the NYC/Brooklyn area and why? #1029474
You’re actually wrong. Brooklyn is not. Part of NY City. Brooklyn is a city itself just like New York City (aka Manhattan). Those in the know understood that what was meant was, restaurants in New York City AND BROOKLYN.
I just think this is one of a number of nisyonos this generation is being put thru. I don’t beleive it’s because of any age disparities or other such nonsense, I think the world has changed in many areas obviously and there are many different nisyonis today that weren’t so prevalent years ago, but I think the running after magic solutions just shows a lack of Emunah. G- d is still the same. Still helping us with our lives, still there for us to reach out to and call out for. That’s the only solution,
No one is asking the wives to take the license plates off. What we are asking them is DO NOT USE THE PLATES TO BREAK THE LAW by parking illegally at No Standing, no parking signs, and not putting money in the muni meters! This is an Aveira and I hope they gets ticketed.they’re taking away spots from real Handicapped people who ad allowed to park there with their legitimate handicapped plates.