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in vitro fertilization
Gemorah Chaggiga 15a, Rishonim & Achronim both deal with the results.
I have eaten 4 large custard donuts for breakfast and 4 slices of pizza for supper on the same day. Yesterday I ran 11 miles.
Sure you’re not Fetteh Shmeel?
From the sales website: http://guardyourtongueanddignity.com
Emphasis mine.
Depends on the Halacha.
For example, one would not make a bracha of “Meshane HaBriyos” on types of people who it is common to see in this era.
The reason for the halacha is that hair is erva. Period. [At least that’s the way I was taught] Otherwise, single women would not be allowed to wear hats ever as its a sign of being married. Or a woman could just wear a large sandwichboard sign that says “I’m married” (and sell advertising on it to make more money).
Or a ring.
Sefer Ba’akavot Rochel (AKA daughters of dignity), as I have said before, (and as the cover states) is more of a “Hashkafa” sefer than a “Halacha” sefer.
Not as if there is anything wrong with Hashkafa, C”V.
SJS: Tznius for women as defined in this day and age stems from multiple reasons. You are discussing the “Brachos by men” aspect.
I think ASF is discussing the “hirhurrim by men” aspect (correct me if I am wrong).
(I want to add that lots of the pressure on me to keep dating him was from a shiur we had at the end of seminary, where we were told that lots of singles are still waiting around through their own fault, they say no to a boy for invalid reasons that dont really matter in a marriage, you have to be sure that you could never live with the guy before you say no… and I was so scared of pushing away my bashert. Everything must be taken with a pinch of salt.) emphasis mine.
Sounds like one of the most scary speaches I have ever heard.
To marry someone is a commitment for the rest of your life. It seems like that sem is producing and encouraging the divorce crisis.
and if it was, who was going to into a dorm anyway?
Tell that to the sem girls.
Anyway, not sure what we are discussing, it seems we are on different wavelengths.
I think? we agree that there should be a separate college, and Touro fits the need.
3) I never said that all frum people avoided the co-ed schools, just that there were separate education options.
Vassar!
how many of us have the extra 3,500 $$ for that GORGEOUS shaitel?
You assume it is extra; many will say it is well worth the cost.
Squeak:
That you decided to go to Hunter or City is not my problem.
To provide singles with another means of making shidduchim
Those who want to meet in college can go to CUNY. There is no need to provide additional means, which would drive out many of the current student body.
dunno:
What purpose would a mixed Touro (Brooklyn) serve (not as if it will ever happen)?
As others have pointed out, if one wants to go mixed, they can go to a CUNY school.
it is difficult to argue that it is an absolute halachic prohibition for men to be able to see women during the service.
Very old Machlokes HaPoskim, with the origins being what and why the Ezras Nashim did in the Beis Hamikdash.
Satmer & Hungarian Poskim hold there was a visual problem as well, Rav Moshe (as Dr. Hall pointed out) among others, held it was a separation/reshus issue only.
And to go on a date where you are already certain it isn’t going to be, is an extreme lack of tznius.
And Kavod Habriyos, as well as Genaivas Da’as.
Of course, the idea is not to completely close off the possibility of Tachlis, but if it is (for example, you feel she is really ugly, or any other Chisaron that you can’t get your mind off), I agree with maxwell.
Iggros Moshe OHC 4:36.
A Bas Mitzva is not a Seudas Mitzva, and therefore should not be celebrated is Shul, but it is a Simcha, and a kiddush SHOULD be made, and if the girl wishes to speak, she may do so, but not from the pulpit.
Maxwell took the last paragraph of the Teshuva while ignoring the first two paragraphs. The last paragraph is talking about making a seudah like one might do for a boy (which Rav Moshe is also against).
Did you see it inside or did you just quote someone else?
popa_bar_abba:
That is a Lubavitch Shita. Just go to a shul where it is expected.
A “Yeshivish” minyan would not tolerate it.
Mods:
I believe the latest comment by missme is over the line.
If it would have been made to her, or max well, or so right then it would have been deleted.
We are not getting into the council of jerusalem, etc. here, I hope.
The point has been made, I don’t see any reason to keep it open.
Perhaps it should be made sticky for a while, please?
mw13: We are agreed that only shidduch-possible children should seat mixed with supervision, not young teens. That was the last paragraph of my earlier post.
Moq:
Do we let young people keep making dumb decisions that haunt them for the rest of their lives?
This is the question of our times. The best plan is to teach them to make the right choices. And everyone makes mistakes, we can only try to minimize their results.
Those that won’t behave properly in a mixed setting once they reach marriagable age are clearly not ready to get married.
But they go out, and do get married anyway. And those are the people who either meddle through or end up getting divorced, or the lucky ones grow up and mature with each other (not a bad thing). We don’t want to enable those who should not be dating, and may end up in sin, to go ahead and meet boys/girls s/he would otherwise not be meeting.
In short, who says that people who are clearly not ready don’t get married?
seeing as once a boy and girl have each others name and phone number, they are free to continue their relationship anywhere and anyway they chose.
Same idea with dates from shaddchanim. Although I ahve heard that the boy no longer has the girl’s phone number to call her, so once again, NisKatnu HaDoros.
I think the key factor that makes these events kosher is that all the singles there are seriously interested in getting married
I would imagine that once someone in the class is married, the rest are at least entertaining doing so as well, and would go out for a great shidduch. But you have a good point to exclude friends that are of a younger age, if there are any.
Moq: Well put.
As I have said before, the Agudah used to have a mixed picnic specificly to create shidduchim.
It would just not work today, not with our children.
But do I have to give her then?
Short answer, no. That’s not to say you should not, that depends on the person asking, your status, as well as all the other Halachos in SA.
I checked Heberewbooks.org for Kedushas Shoshanim and it wasn’t there. It must be obscure.
What’s wrong if singles meet at a simcha (if done appropriately)?
Oh please give me a break only bad can come out of mixed seating, we have shadchanim for dates.
No one will tell you that shadchanim are doing a bad job, but there is still a Shidduch Crisis that needs to be dealt with. SJS & Oomis correctly point out that a Chassuna is a good time to have these unmarrieds meet (after all, they are already all dressed up:)
On the other hand, So right & holtzichfest correctly point out that our immature children going on shidduch dates can not do so without having someone holding their hand and watching.
So the solution is to have a third section. One for men, where they would dance. One for Women, where they would dance. and in between, a section for friends of the Chassan & Kallah, together with some “shaddchanim” (perhaps mutual friend couples), who can try to “match” the unmarrieds.
In a table of 12, we could have two couples, four girls & four boys. That way the unmarrieds would get to meet, and perhaps be “set up” by one of the couples.
Squeak & I are both “Mechalek” between different times. I was refering to the “other” time, where squeak and I were both saying it is a problem.
In what manner is swimming “Kalus Rosh?”
In a technical sense, not in the common usage. (YD 195-1)
I sometimes forget with whom I am dealing (not you Wolf). I apologize.
Ani L’Uman Ve Ishti La’Horim
And I heard L’Azazel.
It is interesting when you have Yerushalmi Yidden who can Daven at The Makom HaMikdash feel the need to travel Chutz to Uman & Daven there.
but do you have a special situation that would warrant watching TV?
Some yeshivas used to bring in TV’s to watch inaugurations of Presidents, Rocket Launches, and other current events as they were happening.
I (didn’t &) would not have a problem with it.
I know that is NOT what you are refering to, but it is a point.
squeak:
At best, without anything else, swimming is a form of “Kalus Rosh”.
just “unimportant” little things like deleting yekum purkan.
Or Korbanos, or Heicha Kedusha, or saying extra tehillim at the end of Davening.
Slippery slope?
Rav Baruch Ber was well known that when he had to yell at a talmid, he first went to his office, composed himself, put on a special “yelling hat”, and then first yelled at the talmid (if it was needed).
May I suggest a similar concept for physical discipline. If you feel it is needed, wait some time to “calm down”, put on a “special” piece of clothing (might I suggest an “A-shirt”), and then explain to the child why they are being punished.
After all that, if you still feel the child needs to be punished physically, then at least you know you are not doing so in anger.
A married woman’s hair IS erva just like her other erva parts.
That is what we are (eagerly) waiting to find out from DH (Yasher Koach!), who will bring the Shittos involved (I assume).
Helpful
Don’t put words in my mouth.
All I said is that a public ceremony can be done with Tznius.
But I do admit it is a good debating tactic, to pretend I said something and try to make me defend it.
Helpful said:
you’re supposed to be more tznius by a chasuna than a bas mitzva.
This is not true. After all, we just had a number of posts regarding how Rav Moshe held that Bas Mitzvos should not be held in public, if they are held at all. A Chassuna, though it should be with “Tznius”, should be public.
And then there are people who declare anything that inconveniences them to merely be a discardable “chumra”.
And then there are those who “conveniently” forget halacha when it suits them, including entire sections of Choshen Mishpat, but never would be Over the “chumra of the week”.
And then there are those who are serious about being “Lifnim M’shuras Hadin”.
The Tzeddukim were also big Machmirim.
That is why there are Rabbonim, and when someone says their Rav was asked, and they got a P’sak, that should be the end of it.
(disclosure: I don’t own a TV).
Unless they can prove to you that they meet the halachic definition of an Ani, and/or are “neeman” to collect for real Anyim, there is no reason to give them “tzedaka”. However, there is no need to be mean about it, and there is an exception to feeding an Ani, which should be done without checking (YD 251-10).
Halachicly, if you want to give to Aniyim, you are better off giving to a third party, preferably one which will help get Yiddin jobs. Better then that is to marry off Yesomos, or to pay tuition for limud torah, or support a shul (YD 249 15 & 16, also see Be’er Haytev).
There are halachos regarding how to give Tzedaka (starting in Yoreh Dayah Siman Resh Mem Zayin). You should also ask your Rav what you should do.
For example, your chiyuv to pay your children’s & grandchildren’s tuition comes before other tzedaka (YD 251-3).
End story, ask your Rav.
bombmaniac:
I would make my child clean the wall. I believe at 2.5, a child is able to wipe the wall with a shmatta (under supervision). He/she can clean up blocks, toys, etc. why not a wall?
Besides, is it not your fault that the newspaper is there to play with? You agree the child doesn’t know any better. Why do you think hitting will help it know better?
Once again, in cases of danger to the child, a preview of the hurt may be needed to avoid more hurt, but not because your wall looks dirty since someone forgot to put the newspaper, crayons, etc. away where they belong.
i now know how to do flash animations
You now make movies instead of watching them?
There is a well known story: there was a small boy who refused to go off one of those rides(that you pay .25 for) everyone came to get him off but nothing worked-an old man passed by and asked what was going on, they told him and he said I will get him off,the mother said I dont want you to touch my kid-so he said I o.k im not going to.-the old man said somthing into the boys ear and the boy laughed!
when they asked the old man what he told the boy, he said I told him that if you dont get off ill give you a good potch:-)
The boy then said you already told my mommy you won’t touch me, you are a liar. The old man then went on to hit the boy.
The police were then called for this old man punishing the child. He was subsequently arrested.
Not to say a Potch is not needed sometimes, but NEVER touch/threaten/hit someone else’s child without permission.
Slavery is 12, assuming she is a Gadol M’Deoraissa at that point (or she can still be sold).
In reality, we should not be making any celebrations for anyone until they are a Vadai Gadol (or gedolah), anyway.
I think its pretty significant for a girl that at her Bat Mitzvah her father can no longer sell her into slavery or marry her off without her consent.
Love the post, but to be factual, he can marry her off until she is 12.5.
Well said. Your own Rav has the right to Pasken to whom his Da’as is Note.
EDITED
apushatayid:
Knickers are cute, and NOT shorts.
It is also a matter of what is worn (material, etc.). If someone doesn’t want to wear it, I hear.
I have no problem with my children wearing shorts.
I did not say that shorts are assur because of chukas hagoy, rather I said it was a matter of tznius
I hear. It is not the derech of a Ben Melech to walk in the street with his thighs uncovered.
Why aren’t you taking the word “shivto” at face value?
Do you actually use a stick?
In this Dor of Chutzpa before Moshiach, with all of the “children at risk”, one must make sure that Torah and Yiddishkeit are “sweet”.
That is not to say that there is no time that would justify hitting a child, but it also must be done with sweetness, and only after deliberation, warning, and never in anger (and making sure your child knows it is not in anger). It should as a means for the lesson, no as an end as a punishment.
Usually, the lesson can be tought better using “natural consequences”. Of course, danger may force the need to use physical means (e.g. grabbing a hand hard to stop a child from running into the street). It may even hurt, but it is better then the other, C”V.
the focus of a bas mitzva is the girl’s obligation to perform her mitzvos, of which tznius is the core.
Which of the 613 is Tznius?
holtzichfest:
That is why we have to learn English in school.
I have no idea what you are saying, but when I see one long rambling sentence, I dismiss what you have to say without looking at the content.
If you rephrase with grammar, I will be happy to consider what you have to add.
I went to an outlet mall to shop for my son for the summer. I bought well priced clothing, some had symbols. I didnt buy for the symbol, in fact i got really cute stuff at great prices at Carter’s. Their stuff also have symbols (a little dog )and I wouldnt say its the “coolest” store around, in fact its probably the cheapest children’s clothing store, in the same way i got a great deal at Tommy Hilfiger and that also has a symbol…I dont care for the symbol, if it’s on the outfit what can I do?
Agreed. You can do much better in outlets then in “regular stores”, and get cheaper clothing for less then you would for a no-name.
I guess that is why I don’t see this to be an issue. I just assume when I see a brand name that it was bought in an outlet or a discount store (such as TJMAXX), where it is much cheaper then buying the no-name brand.
Exception being Bugaboo strollers.
To me, it seems a bit paradoxical to celebrate mitzvas tznius with a public ceremony. Can you please explain?
Actually, the mitzva that the gemorah says requires Tznius is a wedding (once again, Succah 49b).
also i dont recall that he has to talk with her all the way to his house, i thought taking her was sufficient. do you have a source?
The husband can have his Sheliach accept the wife from the father before two Eidim. The Gemorah talks about “Masar Ha’Av Lesheluchei Ha’Baal” in Nedarim (10th Perek, as well as other locations in Kesubos IIRC).
clearheaded:
Working with the same logic, it is not how much you spend on the milestone, but the relative importance you place on it (which includes treating it respectfully).
No one (except maybe two+cent) would consider having water for a Siyum Mesechta, one should have a Chashuv Seuda. Having water for a siyum shows your disdain for the accomplishment, and a similar concept applies to other accomplishments (such as becoming a “Bar” Chiyuva), or starting a bayis Ne’eman B’Yisroel (excluding the simchas Chatan V’Kallah aspect).
2morecents:
When a well to do family spends money on even just a shabbos kiddush, they are guilty of perpetuating a tremendous amount of pressure on all of the poorer familes in our khal.
What you really mean to say is:
When a well to do, or even poor family who has budgeted somewhat and has some savings, spends money on even just a shabbos kiddush, they are placing a tremendous amount of pressure on all of the familes that did not plan, or plans fell through, and feel the need to keep up with the Cohens’ in our khal.
That is a valid point.
Your post references a number of times “the need of others to keep up” with you. Do you consider that a Chisaron of yours or of theirs? Do your feelings extend to other areas as well, such as feeling the need to have the smallest home or the shabbiest clothes?
If you feel guilty for having, I hear Mod80 is collecting. Just send him your Paypal via E-mail. 🙂
Baruch T’Heye, Reb Mod.