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Mother in Israel – HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU KNOW I’M FROM THE LES???? i don’t think i ever mentioned it in the cr. SO THIS I GOTTA HEAR.
btw – most of the shuls (of course with some exceptions) are on East Broadway – honestly i don’t remember if the Belzer is on the same block as Young Israel – maybe so or maybe a block east.
Can’t wait to hear back from you!!! 🙂
Mother in Israel – sorry, but if i answered ur question, i would really give away my identity as i do personally know some ppl on this site besides for my husband and kids. obviously my husband and kids know my sn but the others don’t, just as i don’t know theirs. i just know that they are on here.
did you ask the pharmacist about this? he/she may be able to help you.
hatzlacha.
refuah shelayma to your son.
mother in Israel: um….um….did i give that away? oops. actually had you seen another thread (and maybe you did) you might have realized it from that. i don’t know if others did as well.
anyway – it’s true – he never actually proposed. it’s now a joke in our family. whenever i ask if he’s ever going to – he says he’s afraid now – cuz i might not say yes 🙂
arwsf – i’m honored! actually i tried to copy and paste our list (which i saved on word) the exact way i have it – with pics and all – but it didn’t work.
we have it in sheet protectors hung up in our room. laminating is a better idea.
OK – this is too weird for words!!!
This is the list I was talking about before:
1) No fighting in front of children (at least try not to).
3) No sarcasm, put downs, or mean comments.
4) No name calling.
5) Always be truthful.
13) No interrupting
14) Show love and compassion. Support each other.
15) Remember the feelings when we first got married.
18) Be thankful for all the good things we have.
wow chaplaintzvi finally proposed to his wife after 21 years?
adorable – it’s a 2 way street
pac-man – i dunno but i think my husband would rather i cook and bake for him than wash his face. but who am i to argue with the Rambam? 🙂
mewho: i think ur advice is excellent and everyone should really strive to do what you said. however, in real life, it’s not always so easy. we all slip up every now and then. and when you do, you shouldn’t be discouraged and feel like you failed. just make up your mind to try harder.
i would like to add a couple of things:
Admit when you’re wrong. your spouse will appreciate it. saying “i’m sorry” and meaning it is so important!
Try very hard not to argue in front of the kids! That’s a biggie! it’s so hard for kids to see parents arguing. little disagreements once in a while are ok – it all depends on how you handle it, though. they do have to learn that nobody can get along 24/7. but if they do see you disagree, they must also see the reconciliation. it teaches them how to get along and how to solve/handle certain issues. Again – if you slip up and they do see more of an argument – don’t despair! it’s ok to admit to them that it was wrong. and then of course try harder next time.
We are all human!
My husband and I have a “list of rules” which i printed a number of years ago. we each have a copy of it. it’s good to refer to it every now and then. it really works.
I am not at home right now, but IY”H later I will try to post what’s written on that list. A lot of it was already said by mewho.
Wishing everyone the Bracha of Shalom Bayis!
Pac-Man – you are 100% right. What I said was not civil. I was responding to him in anger – he really set me off! I am not the kind of person who would talk like that. As I mentioned on the other thread – he brought the worst out in me and NO- I’m not happy about it.
Shticky Guy – thanks so much! On the graduation thread, many of you probably know I was quite upset at how one particular poster was writing to me. After it was closed, I thought of 2 questions for him, but didn’t want to start another post and go through all that again.
My question was – “would you talk to me this way if we were talking in person?” also “would you like someone to speak with YOU in this manner?” – Why can’t we just be civil? It’s ok to disagree but come on – a little respect for one another.
So again Shticky Guy – thanks so much for starting this thread.
whew! thanks kapusta! i was starting to get paranoid since i was having a bit of an issue with a couple (one specifically) of the posters. i kept feeling quite offended. i totally agree that ppl were just attacking back and forth. i even said as much in one or more of my posts there.
so it’s a good thing it is now CLOSED.
adorable – now ur not the last poster here (at least for now) 🙂
if you want the honor back, i guess we can keep posting back and forth till one of us gets tired. 😉
nottelling – i hear ya – i, too, had an issue with a couple of posters. i felt they were quite rude to me. no they don’t personally know me, but it still bothers me that they could say certain things.
guess that’s the chance we take when expressing an opinion. though i do believe we should still be mentchlich to one another.
as far as being ignored, i’ve had that too. but like the others said, sometimes what you say doesn’t need a response. not everyone here can be the life of the party. there are a few who seem to be quite popular. the rest of us can enjoy being out of the spot light and just reading all the interesting posts.
popa – i don’t know if you’ll show up on this thread, but in case you do:
we should all be careful of how we speak to one another. you never know to whom you might be related one day- or for that matter, have any kind of connection. 🙂
Kapusta “I’m also starting to get a little disgusted with certain comments. Mods, maybe its time to close this thread?”
I gather you might have been referring to my comments? I hope not JUST mine. A lot of comments were made that should not have been. Anyway, I’m not the kind of person that ppl on that thread may think or made me out to be. As I said, i try to avoid confrontation. I guess the worst was brought out in me in that particular thread. I hope we can have more civil and even friendly conversations from now on.
Growing up, we rarely if ever heard of a frum family owning a dog. In the neighborhood in which we now live, there was a time you hardly ever saw it. However, lately, we’ve been noticing more and more frum ppl with dogs. I don’t know the reason for this. I myself would not own a dog just because i’m not really a “dog-person”. If i visit someone who has a friendly dog, i’ll pet it and think it’s cute. But i can’t see myself taking care of one.
i guess – to each his/her own. as far as the halachic implications, i suppose ppl should ask their local rav.
Ofcourse – in my high school, we weren’t even allowed to ask questions! if you did, you were looked upon as some sort of apikorus! how dare we question! truth be told, i still feel it was a great school, it’s just that i guess times were different. B”H it didn’t affect my frumkeit, in fact i became more right wing because of them. i am glad, though, that now we have books, etc. geared to all types of questions.
josh – i agree with you.
Kapusta – it is amazing what Nissim can happen when we are all united in Tefilah.
Baruch Hashem this story had a happy ending.
Amen to your Bracha to rosesharon.
gaava is gaava – PERIOD. modern day Zecharia? please!!! you say he’s soft spoken? maybe to those who agree with him. if not, he attacks. i am sorry to say but i have no respect for him. ppl who speak harshly with me turn me off. B”H that hasn’t happened often at all. i am used to having respectful conversations with everyone, whether or not we agree. i stay away from confrontation as i find it very offensive.
i know he feels he’s done nothing wrong. and what i write here will not change his mind.
i know in my heart that we lead a Torah true life. i also know that all of us can improve in many areas and that’s just what we should strive to do. so having said that, i will end this post and worry about myself and my midos etc. i don’t wish to continue this bickering back and forth. it does no good.
maybe one day popa and i will find something on which to agree.
btw pops – it’s ppl like you who can turn ppl off! i am so disgusted by your comments.
pops – “when you know a tenth of the torah i know” – wow – quite the baal gaava you are! that’s very frum and yeshivish.
“i am not your daughter” Baruch Hashem!!! my children would never speak to anyone in that manner. they have the utmost derech eretz – unlike you.
go say some tehilim for the plane that’s in trouble. you’ll be better off that way.
they’re probably not if you ask some posters here.
Daas Yochid – ur very funny 🙂
I certainly do not think kids are otd cuz fathers can’t come to grads or because girls and boys can’t socialize.
first of all – i totally do not think boys and girls should socialize – not from our circles anyway. maybe in the more modern circles it’s acceptable.
however,i do think we can go a bit overboard with certain rules. ie: the grad situation – but that’s not for this thread.
i am very upset about all the otd situations we see. it’s very sad when you see kids from good frum families going off the derech.
what i do see is sometimes parents are not that involved in their kids lives – that could be one reason. there are numerous other reasons such as peer pressure etc. we have to be so thankful when our kids are on the right derech! B”H we have a very close family and we are proud of our kids- all of whom have simchas hachayim and simchas hamitzvos!
Question – why is it ok to be here on the ywn cr – after all we are men and women talking to each other. true we are anonymous – for the most part anyway. some posters do know who others are. also we generally do know which posters are male and female. so this might be considered a breach of tznius as well. no? listen there are many who say the internet is assur altogether – so should we be here at all?
Fritz – great point!
Popa- Reasonable??? You came right out and said you are judging me! you also said i have mishigas! To me that’s quite chutzpadik and not in the Torah way. For someone who is so frum – shouldn’t you be more careful with your words?
speaking of mishigas – to what are you referring? that we don’t like the idea of my husband not attending the grad?
do you think i am in favor of my kids socializing in mixed groups? NOT AT ALL and Baruch Hashem they don’t!!!
And NO – my contention is not that the school is always wrong. from where did you get that idea?
yes – i am aware that not all frum schools have the same rules which just proves my point that you can be frum and have different opinions.
you say we should pick a school we like and just deal with the other stuff – that’s exactly what we did.
you say we shouldn’t judge others on their rules of tznius. i just don’t believe this is really a tznius issue. yes – they made it into one but i see nothing un- tznius about a father seeing his daughter gradutate. he’s not interested in the other girls. anyway it seems pointless to keep harping on this topic already. we’re obviously not going to agree.
btw – the tznius level in our family is, i believe, quite high. i don’t mean to sound holy or to brag. but you make it sound like we are putting down tznius.
and no – i don’t feel all schools have to abide by the same rules as the Rav and his yeshiva that i mentioned before. i was just making a statement about that particular Rav.
also -we are not saying that we don’t like the school. we happen to be very happy with it. no school is perfect and there is always something that some parent won’t agree with. so we were just expressing our opinion and disappointment in this particular rule that they made recently.
true – ppl on cr have every right to disagree with us just as we have the right to disagree with them. but everything should be done in a mentchlich way – NOT A JUDGMENTAL WAY!
No popa – i’m not your mil. In fact i’m glad we’re not related 🙂 But i would like to meet your mil. maybe she would agree with me 🙂
btw- i am not the father who is not going to the graduation. i am the mother and i am IY”H going to the grad. my husband is another poster.
Popa – I’ve decided to ignore you. You apparently don’t get it. You are still saying things about us that I find offensive. You’re not really paying attention to what I’m saying. By the way – don’t refer to our opinions as “mishigas”. We are not saying that schools cannot institute new policies – but we do not have to agree with them. That also doesn’t mean we should take our kids out!
OOMIS – way to go! great point!
ATTENTION POPA, PAC MAN, AND ALL OTHERS WHO ARE JUDGING US.
1) Our hashkafos ARE the same as that of our daughters’ school! Please do not be so quick to condemn us. Yes there are areas in which we disagree. That doesn’t mean we are so different. Our children are very careful about Tznius, lashon hara etc. They are B”H very much into their frumkeit. They NEVER mingle with the opposite gender!
So please do not suggest we send our children to MO schools. That is quite different from our hashkafos!!!
2) WE REPEAT – IN CASE YOU MISSED IT THE FIRST FEW TIMES WE MENTIONED IT: The school did not have this graduation rule when our girls started there. In fact this is the first one of our daughters whose graduation is affected by this.
3) I myself went to a very frum school in Brooklyn and our fathers were invited to the graduation. I have also spoken to friends who’s children are in different FRUM (not MO) schools here and in NY, NJ etc. and fathers do come to the graduations.
4) In fact there was a very well known Rav (I will not mention his name because I don’t want any loshon hara to start) who would probably not have had a problem with this. At the graduations from his yeshiva, there were a few times when women spoke. There was also mixed seating at their banquets. NO – THEY WERE NOT MO! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A VERY FRUM RIGHT WING GROUP.
5) I feel like we are being attacked by certain posters on here who obviously don’t even know us. But yet they are so ready to judge us and tell us where to send our kids. The CR is a place to express opinions – not attack or be attacked.
6) As far as sheltered schools not having a problem with OTD, unfortunately that’s not true at all. We know of many families with that problem not only in our city but yes in NY as well.
With all that said, we can only daven to Hashem that Moshiach come soon. The world is in a crazy state right now. We see things unfolding quite rapidly. Yes it’s scary. But we must have bitachon. We all have areas in which we can improve. We must all try our best so we can be zoche to Moshiach very soon.
Have a Great Lag B’Omer everyone!!!
By the way – Thank you to all the posters who do agree with, and support us.
Hello? Is NY still on the map? We’re still here, I think. I hear music from the bonfire down the block.
I just knew that hiding under the covers would work! 🙂
yeah – they can send me all their money, jewelry, cars, etc. they won’t be needing them.
oy! should i hide under the covers tomorrow? i’m shaking! someone let me know when it’s over. oh wait, when it’s over nobody will be here to let me know. oy oy oy – it’s gonna be lonely.
there have always been nutcases in this world. why should it be any different now?
let’s just daven for moshiach.
Have a great Shabbos everyone and enjoy Lag B’Omer!!!
I have an acquaintance (who by the way considers herself a very close friend of mine) who needs to know EVERYTHING! But try asking her a personal question. Think you get an answer? uh uh! I’ve learned my lesson. She gets no important info from me. Some ppl need to feel important. To them, knowing everything about everyone makes them important. You can almost feel sorry for them.
Anyway – Mazal Tov on your daughter’s engagement. You should have lots of yiddishe nachas!
btw – so how much is this all gonna cost you? LOL 🙂
I’m not in NY. What do the ads say exactly?
Adorable – a number of years ago, when i was post sem (a very frum seminary)I went to college and started liking rock music and movies. (no not terrible movies or heavy metal rock but still it was not for a bais yaakov girl) I did not compromise any other area of frumkeit ex: Shabbos, kashrus, tznius, etc. I did not hang around with guys either. Actually I knew a number of frum ppl who went through the same stage. NO I WAS NOT OTD. Sometimes you just get caught up in something that’s not so good for you. Baruch Hashem it did not affect me. I am married and have children and we lead a beautiful Torah life.
So like most other ppl on this thread, I’m not quite sure to what you are referring. But you did mention that you’ve read things and have seen things on the internet that you feel are inappropriate. It’s great that you stopped. Now concentrate on who you really are. You surely have a lot going for you. Especially if those things are making you feel so badly. That shows you have a true Yiddishe neshama. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We can all work on ourselves. Hatzlacha Rabba to you.
BSD: “moo moo” would be japanese 🙂
Here’s a story that doesn’t exactly fit the title (in fact I was going to start a new thread but decided to post it here anyway).
This happened a number of years ago. Apparently there were 2 high school girls on a city bus in NY , when suddenly quite a “large” woman got on the crowded bus and stood near the girls. It was quite uncomfortable and cramped. One said to the other “he shemayna k’mo parah”. The ride continued. A few stops later, the woman was ready to get off, when she turned around to the girls and said “mooo”! I can only imagine how shocked and embarrassed those girls were!
LESSONS TO BE LEARNED: 1) never assume someone doesn’t understand the language you are speaking 2) DON’T EVER MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE!
Stressed spelled backwards is Desserts.
What better dessert to combat stress than chocolate? 🙂
I’m too shy to answer.
There’s a store in Chicago called Illinois Nut. Amazing stuff!
aw come on yummy – it can’t be that bad 🙂
what does your family think or say about it?
i love to shop also but can’t afford it- then i feel guilty too.
as far as s2021’s suggestion about not buying it and then realizing that you don’t really need it. well, um, i’ve done that. i feel so good walking out of the store feeling that i overcame the desire to buy it! wow – what a gr8 feeling! but guess what!! i go back the very next day and BUY IT anyway. then my kids see me wearing it and say “hey i thought you weren’t going to get it” HEEEELP!!
edy’s chocolate ice cream with peanut butter cups. and also their chocolate chocolate fudge. also chocolate truffle candies. i’m what you call a chocoholic!
Daboss: maybe print out this thread and anonymously send it to the menahel. 🙂
Ofcourse: You said exactly what I was thinking.
Achosid: I’m with you too. An article on the front page of YWN might not be a bad idea.
Josh31: Great point!
Sendar Av: Unfortunately i am not having a hard time believing this story. I’ve heard too many crazy stories lately. People are getting out of hand in the name of “frumkeit”.
I will say that it is true that we don’t know the whole story. Who knows if this boy hasn’t been in trouble before with the school? But if this is the whole story, then I really feel sorry for him.
Another bit of advice. Don’t wear anything too tight around the waste. It pushes the acid up.
If I’m not mistaken, I think heartburn is different. Also quite uncomfortable but different.
But it is true that one should see a doctor because it eventually can cause damage, chas v’shalom.
I take omeprazole – it’s like prevacid – but you need a prescription for it. I also finally realized that chocolate aggravates the condition for me.
It is a very uncomfortable condition!
Oh- one more thing – I find when i’m particularly uncomfortable, if I lay flat on my back on my bed or couch for anywhere between 15-30 minutes, I feel much better.
You just have to try different things and see what works for you.