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By being tense and constantly talking about it, will not cause the issue to go away. and will possibly escalate it… and can chas veshalom lead your family to “looking’ Much worse!!! it would be the worset thing for them to have shalom bayis problems because of the tenssion that your parents have caused. of course the are emotional about it, since it’s thier dear child who they had many hopes and aspirations for, however they can’t allow emotions to get ahold of logic!!! for it can lead to higher detriment to them and your family if the fire is not put out now!!! what is done is done. they cant turn back they have to come to terms with it. and not make the situation worse!
Maybe step in and suggest a devorce chas vesholam… that would definitely make your parents realise what they are playing with!!
Hashem has decided that your family either have this reputation, or a different reputation. It’s all in the hands of hashem! and there is a reason for everything!!
Is this for a lesha tova card or something…
You don’t have to give grandparents leshana tova cards unless you live with them 🙂 Parents come first…
Or are you stum speaking on the topic of Grandpas and Grandmas..
For a leshana tova card, How aboout:-
If granparents were roses, you’d be the one’s I’d pick!
My parents are special for the parents who raised them are exceptionally Grand!!
The more years we cherish together makes you greater and grander in my eyes!
That’s why there are certain halachos regarding contact with imediate opposite gender relatives.. Read up on some of the halachos!! Maybe subscribe for the halacha a day email. The subject is currently on tznius.
Can anyone imagine an arab lady dressed from head to toe,(except for the eyes of course), getting her toe nails done..:-)
Yehuda Yona: MOST of them are!! Half the time they have noooo idea what I’m saying. which could end up being such a commedy show, and is a shame it’s not on film!:)
for a number of other reasons, not just these 2, I’ve decided not to continue on with the shidduch. I’m looking for a GOOD shadchan can anyone recomend someone????? I need to find my zivug already!!! It’s sooooooooo hard!
Thanks in advance!:-)September 13, 2011 1:37 am at 1:37 am in reply to: For Princesseagle and anone who thinks "the grass is greener" out there #808846
bombmaniac:”which is funny coming from geshmake mentch who seems to be a girl…”
Maybe I’m a dangerous stalker… you never know..
“Its bad enough they earn more than their husband, now you want them to out-learn them too?
What’s next.. wearing pants? (oh, sorry.. they already wear the pants). ” -I can understand why a husband would feel bad if the wife was earning all the income to supprort the family. Because as a girl I would also feel bad if it was all on my husband’s shoulders. It should be shared or just the man, but never should it only be the woman. It’s not how the torah teaches us to run a home.
“A school that focuses on halachos pertaining to women and girls, hahskafa, and Chumash, Nach, Tehillem, Pirkei Avos-WITH A FOCUS ON THE HASHKAFA ASPECT OF LEARNING, not just to cover more meforshim, is viewed as second-rate.” -yes I totally agree with you. A woman’s torah is her tznius. Us woman are also compared to a sefer torah. I personally know of a family where the wife is a proffessional and works from nine to five and the husband stays home and takes care of the kids balancing his halfday kollel!! this is totally wrong. I would see in such a circumstance why a guy would resent it. by man keeping to thier jobs and woman keeping to thier roles, we’ll have a better world. Not that women should be lazy chas vesholom though.
also I was listening to a shiur by rabbi Wallerstien from a while ago and he was saying a story, although I don’t recall all the details, that there is a particular school in south Korea that decided they needed an extra subject. they looked at all the religions in the world and decided the smartest nation was the jews, so now there are school children in south Korea learning from Our holly torah that belongs to us–Gemora!!
Bien Hasdorim: Amen! Thank-you.
Goq: Maybe she feels you are a little too friendly. Maybe if you say hello once to her in a business like fashion she will get the hint that it’s not overstepping boundaries to be mentchlech in a co-oporate setting it is ok to say a formal businesslike greeting.
Just don’t make her feel uncomfortable, she obviousely is not used to this type of thing.. and possibly may cause her to run! tread carefully if you wish to keep her in the firm or whatever it is, because she was not raised this way & doesn’t mean to be rude.
Goq: I know. but theres chatting and there is CHATTING!!September 12, 2011 5:13 am at 5:13 am in reply to: For Princesseagle and anone who thinks "the grass is greener" out there #808833
Emunas Itecha: I believe you are a guy. I know exactly who you are from the way you write. Every person has a certain writing style…
He wants to continue and I feel bad saying no. Since we have found alot in common, it’s kind of hard for me to call it quits. Also to be all nice on a date and then, tell the shadchan that I’m not interestested would clearly hurt him. Should I explain to him myself that I don’t think it would work out?? I know I’m not his therapist, and that we BOTH have to be good for each other. In a way I feel i should keep out but I also feel that I don’t know him well enough to say no.. Although I don’t want to drag him through the process and then have to say no later on, since that would be much more painful for him.
thanks for letting us know!
“Little sally saucer” is probably “gumball herself”…
“Anything BUT pink. I can’t stand seeing men wearing pink ties”;
I can’t believe you dislike pink ties. I think they are the most PRETIEST things around! You know guys should be looking pretty and that is precisely why the pink ties were invented, why should a guy look like a guy, it’s pretier to look like a girl! The more girly the better.. Pink cufflinks should be next and also compulsory for every guy!
Leah braha;- she can’t ignore the fact that he pretended that everything was normal.It’s not that he didn’t say anything about his work and avoided the subject. He actually spoke about it as if he was still working! I definitely think it’s a red flag. Although I do agree that you should give him the benefit of the doubt. he may be a great guy, and guess what, you’re not perfect either.. Noone is He might have seen some red flags in you as well. Don;t let it bother you, unless other red flags crop up. but definitely don;t ignore it. It’s important to be allert, in order to avoid disapointment down the track chas vesholom.
Yes, it most definitely is a red flag. Play your cards carefully. It’s a lifelong decision.
Health:”gimpelstrasser – Gimpie -Get off the net and get back to the Bais Medrash. The net is Ossur.”- So what are you doing on here, if you believe that????
You should definitely speak to the school and suggest that they should have a monitered play time. Many schools do it around the worls, especially when there are large classes, they basically divide up the class in 4 group, they designate a certain game for each group. every recess that group gets to play a different game. Obviously they are not always stuck with the same kids, as the teachers/rebbis change the groups every week so the kids get to play with different kids. This should be done until a certain grade until the children are capable of including everyone without the teachers intervening. they obviously are not socially mature enough to play independantly and need the teachers intervention at this age.. Don’t mention anything about your child in particular, otherwise the teachers will start treating him like a needy case, just focus on the fact that your childs social well being is important to you as much his education. It’s part in parcel of his development! You pay the school fees, so you deserve the right to have the best for your child just like any other parent. these children do not have the right to ruin it for you child. they have the same rights as him! Hazlocha and good luck!! Hope It all works out for you! Raising children is not an easy task, remember you are doing great job! keep up the good work!! and be positive, if you allow your child to see ANY negativity, that will also ruin his attitude toward everything, keep upbeat, your child looks up to you, and will only benifit from it. because if you are positive he will also, this will lead him to make friends more easily, people like to be around happy people. Work on building your son up as well as improving the system in his surroundings. Also if he is positive and sees good in others that will also make it alot more easier for him!!
My uncle had an office in the twin towers at that time. That day he was sick and couldn’t go into work. Hakodosh Baruch Hu works in wonderous ways.
“Smile!” “You’re On Candid Camera”
The way i feel these days.. “smile! You’re STILL on the market”
Wish I were off already!! pleasssse hashem bring us together already!!!!!! Can someone special take me off the shelf?? I’m not depressed or desperate about it I’m just simply very fustrated!! who can understand me here???
Is there an app for the bar-ilan torah data base?? It would be rather handy if there were one.
I’m REALLY excited!
Who’s wedding was it?? Are the pix on Only Simchos??
Golden Mom:”i definitly think it is a problem she obvious is not from such a sheltered home! and it might be looked down upon in terms of shidduchim” -that’s prcisely what I was afraid of.. I want to be able to marry a ben torah. That is why I have chosen to go to college. I don’t want people to look down upon me in shidduchim for choosing to go for this proffession. I personally know it will be’esras hashem be great for me, I am just affraid peer pressure wise since it’s not the done thing.. what do you mean that I obviously don’t come from such a sheltered home??-cause I’m not a teacher?? Not everyone is cut out for teaching and baruch hashem I recognise where my stregths are, So why do I have to be bashed for that?? why should mechaneching kids (teaching) come before marriage?? Isn’t that sort of along the same sort of lines?? What is the definition of a sheltered home??
Also someone else mentioned something here, but I think the mods deleted it: she said something like she/her friend never told her daughter anything about having children until she was up to each stage: I highly doubt her daughter actually was that naive, the way she thought she was. I think the best way to protect children from finding things out in other ways, Is to tell them up front and straight, but obviously don’t go into graffic details.. All children are very curious about life, and they will find out elsewhere in a harsher form, if it’s not told by the people who love and care for them. I am very greatful to my parents for always being open, yes I do baruch hashem consider myself to come from a sheltered home, since my parents discussed it in an extremely parev way, I didn’t have the desire to seek the information elsewhere.. I don’t call it sheltered when kids are not told anything and then they do all sorts of crazy things behind thier parents backs, inwhich alot of kids then get mislead in the wrong directions and this chas vesholom unfortunately leads kids totally off the derech. These parents mean very well for thier children, I think they just don’t realise what they are actually doing, is a higher detriment to them.
AYC: whats wrong with everyone seeing you in pajamas in the next world?, it’s only materialistic anyway. noone will care about exposing that.. It’s the spiritual damage that we have done that we have what to be embarressed about.. I’m not judging you. But personally I’m far from perfect & I’ve got lots to work on.
Does anyone know if there is any bais yaakov girl that does it?? Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it myself, I just don’t want to look strange to others for doing it before marriage.. say I’m crazy for caring what people think, but I’m sure most people do..
Which world?? according to Rabbi Wallerstien’s shiur that he gave recently we have more than a few physical worlds here… So the question is what is the real you????? Elul internalisation question!!! think!!
Looking forward to meeting you all in person!!!
tsk tsk, That’s discusting Popa! You should know better!!
It could be just a girl trying to get an opinion as to what guys like on first dates. She is probably not sure what to wear so she is saying in this way to remain anonamous and get feedback as to what is more acceptable heels/flats. who knows maybe her date is on here too.. some people are just too afraid to admit what’s really going on.. I don’t think she is trying to “play on other people’s buttons”, I think she just simply wanted anonamous feedback..
May you be matzliach in whatever you do. may you make the right decisions, and hashem should look watch over you and look after you every step of your way! May you find your Zivug bekorov!! Amen!!
Don’t worry about all these people bashing you. they are only bashing you because of their own personal expiriences/opinions and they have nothing against you! trust me. Don’t take it all to heart and Don’t be hurt.
Yes in my opinion heels are much nicer, but it sometimes does feel auckward dressing to impress rather than dressing for occasion, I know how you feel. Depending on what your guy is like, if he’s not so into dressing up he will not be attracted to a girl that is all dolled up, and if that’s not the way you really are don’t do it. because you will just be giving him a faulse impression of who you really are. what’s going to happen when you take off the mask and become who you really are????!! chas veshalom he won’t be attracted anymore..
the best way is to project over who your best self really is. and then you can then decide whether you will be lifelong mates and based on what you both REALLY are. You should also be comfortable the way you are dressed, if you are not it is much harder to have the confidence to bring y=out who you really are.
Much hatzlocha in this! I hope you do well!!!!
otherwise it’s nice to smell nice and there is nothing wrong with doing so as long as you don’t overload yourself, to the extent that you can be smelled from half way accross the room..
Emunas Itecha; I really liked that story.
Shtieger; The one above has a divine plan for each and everyone of us. I too hope to find my zivug bekorov. It’s important for people to make a life long decision, rather than act in haste.. I admire him for evaluating it before proceeding further into anything. I’m sure he’s a great guy, that just has a SMALL commitment problem. like Emunas Itecha said with the right girl he’ll be fine! Hope he finds her soon.
I’m just wondering how in the world brainy knows shtieger..
Health; I really hope you find your true zivug soon.
shtieger that idea rocks!!! I’m with you. Mods??