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Why don’t people just move out-of-town or to EY where there is grass, air and sunshine year-round instead of living somewhere that’s uninhabitable in the summer and paying a fortune to move out to live in a crowded shack for two months a year, leaving the fathers behind?
You should try to make sure you eat something hot on Shabbos, but it doesn’t have to be chulent. It can be a drink of tea or coffee.
Sephardim (or at least some of them) don’t eat chulent – they eat something else, but I forgot what it’s called.
Hashem is reading – curious as to why you bumped this thread?
OP:”There was a case recently where a girl insisted on cutting a date short because she didnt want the boy to miss Mincha-Maariv(yes, she liked him and it was their second date and she is still not married, lol)”
It might have been me. Once when I was on a date, I told the guy I had to daven Mincha. I didn’t mean that the date had to be cut short. All I meant was that I was going to take 5 minutes to go to the corner to daven.
He didn’t know that girls are chayiv in Mincha, so he assumed that I was reminding him to daven Mincha, and that that meant I wanted the date cut short. When he finally figured out that I was talking about myself, he was shocked that I daven Mincha. He seemed to think I was a feminist or something.
On second thought, I didn’t like him, and I think it was a first date, so I guess it wasn’t me.
arts and crafts
my elementary school
good memories
bad memories
high school
“It’s actually a play on words cleverly concocted by the Mods”
Are you sure it came from the mods? I thought he made up his own name.
And is that connected to the “blocked”? I thought it was two separate jokes (although I have no idea what the second joke is).
LB – hope you weren’t offended by my comment.
So nobody was moderated for a year, and only one person was moderated in the past two days? And mod 100 only moderated once?
Not a very good diyuk. -100
Nice – took a few minutes to “chap”, especially the parenthesis.
TOL – thanks for the info. Good to know. One of the problems with the size is that it’s probably expensive, and I don’t know if I can afford it right now. And if I borrow it from a friend, I would have to read the whole thing at once.
But it is good to keep in mind. Maybe I will find the money for it one of these days – it certainly is something worth spending money on – knowing hilchos Shabbos is pretty important.
Thank you!
Shopping – I’m impressed with the way you are relating to sem and your sem teachers. Great attitude.
In terms of the above issue, can you have someone else ask her? Preferably someone she would never suspect of being a CR poster.
I wouldn’t be able to hold m&m’s for more than 3 minutes. I’d be like those kids in the marshmallow experiment who swallowed the marshmallow even before the experimenter finished explaining the rules.
However, I’d have no problem holding a marshmallow in my hand for 10 hours.
Randomex, thanks so much for sharing!
Meno – do you meant that ?? ???? is the same gematria as ?”? ????
flatbusher – I hadn’t even thought of it from that perspective (of Kaddish being said for someone who was nifter). I was thinking of it from the perspective of the kedusha of the words.
I am not the type who is usually bothered by modern/rocky Jewish music. But there is one song that I was bothered by that was to the words of Kaddish. It bothered me because Kaddish is something that is very kadosh, and I felt the tune was not appropriate.
At least that was how I felt when the song first came out. It is possible that today I have already become desensitized and would no longer feel that way.
Wow, I didn’t realize what’s going on over there! And here I am walking around without a coat, enjoying the spring-like weather.
RebYidd – I’m a seminary teacher and people have made fun of me. So I think you’re yotzei.
Haleivi – I didn’t mean that you have to make a big deal out of it. I just meant that if a girl says she wants to be a Rabbi, I think you should let her know that girls can’t be Rabbis. But you should try to do it in a positive way – tell her that she can be a Rebbetzin or teacher or melumedes, etc.
When I wrote that you should try to figure out why she wants to be a Rabbi, I wasn’t talking about therapy (or anything similar). I just meant that you should try to figure out what aspect of being a Rabbi appeals to her so you can know what the female-appropriate equivalent is. If it’s the learning that she is interested in, tell her she can be a melumedes/talmida chachama. If it’s the teaching aspect, tell her she can be a Rebbetzin or teacher. If it’s the counseling aspect, tell her she can be a therapist or Rebbetzin,etc.
That was all. I didn’t mean that it has to be a major discussion.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be Rabbi Akiva or Rashi. I even started writing a peirush on the Siddur like Rashi on the Chumash (l’havdil). I figured I couldn’t do it on the Chumash, because Rashi took that already. I even gave a name to my peirush – my initials made into a word, like Rashi (l’havdil).
DY + 1 million. Great response! I’m impressed.
btw, I hope you weren’t offended by the comment about your name. I was just trying to figure out which names she could possibly have taken issue with. And it occurred to me that if I had never read any one of your posts and all I knew about you was your name, I would probably have a very different (and negative) opinion of you. I would probably think that you were some kind of radical liberal who thinks that he never has to listen to Rabbanim and can just have his own opinions on everything.
“LU-I hope you aren’t offended. I’m just saying what she said.”
I wasn’t offended by anything you said. I was talking about someone else – that comment had nothing to do with you. I’m sorry if that was unclear.
I agree with WTP. I think it’s healthy for kids to dream. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do everything, and there is nothing inherently wrong with most of the professions listed here.
The main problem is that they may not be compatible with being a serious Talmid Chacham or the kind of eishes chayil that many Frum people are hoping their kids will be.
But the kids themselves will realize that when they grow up. At some point they will figure out that it’s impossible to both sit and learn all day and be a truck driver. And if you brought them up with certain values, chances are they will choose learning all day. Unless they really are not capable of it, in which case it’s good they have something else to fall back on it.
A girl wanting to be a Rabbi is different, since there are halachic problems with that. Instead of emphasizing what she can’t do, try to figure out why she wants to be a Rabbi, and help to find ways she CAN do those things in a kosher way. It is possible.
“Why LF? Sounds like she enjoys the teacher and her classes.”
LB +1
Shopping – hope you don’t let any of the comments here (including my own) discourage you from getting the most out of sem and from being “brainwashed”, and from respecting this teacher. She sounds like a wonderful teacher with good hashkafos whom you can probably learn a lot from (even if I don’t necessarily agree with the specific comments quoted here, as they were quoted)
LB – glad someone is. not sure if I’m sticking around – just wanted to comment on this. I can’t really handle all the bullying.
I actually thought that DY’s comment was very humble and appropriate.
He made sure to say that this is just what he’s heard, and he is not saying it is 100% for sure Emes, that others should let him know if they have sources either agreeing or disagreeing, and he is open to the fact that he may be wrong.
I think it would be nice if others learned from him and posted like that more often, instead of saying something as a fact without a source.
(like some recent posts about midrashim that are supposedly meant to be taken literally w/o a source to back it up.)
Gananit +1
When you said that she made fun of the usernames, I was sure you were going to mention lesschumras (and MAYBE DaasYochid). What’s wrong with “His Royal Lowness”?
Those are the worst things she could find to say about the CR???!!! I could have done a much better job!!
I agree with Joseph, Daas Yochid, and chayav inish livisumay’s comments. I can’t comment on M in Israel since you didn’t actually bring his opinion.
The only one I disagree with here is tro11. But I have certainly seen much worse. Nu, so he made a mistake – so write in a post with sources correcting him.
Maybe the CR should have a disclaimer statement on the top: All opinions stated in the CR are simply the opinions of the random anonymous posters who may be ignoramuses, apikorsim, or worse. Please do not assume that anyone knows what he is talking about, and please do NOT posken halacha from here.
LB – that wasn’t what I said. I didn’t say that you can’t have your own associations. All I said was that the associations are supposed to be with the word right beforehand.
You originally wrote that the associations were all based on the original word as opposed to the word immediately preceding.
This is what you originally wrote:
“SHE was from Jerusalem
Saw HER on my bday”
So the words were NOT associated with the word right before. They were all associated with the original word. The point of broken telephone is supposed to be that each word is associated with the word before and not with the original word. Otherwise, there is no point to the game.
Afterwards, you wrote that you associated Jerusalem with your birthday, but that was not what you had originally written, or at least not what it sounded like to me.
It’s really not important. I’m just writing this because I wanted you to understand what I meant. You seem to think I was attacking your associations, and I wanted you to realize that I’m not. Obviously you can have your own associations – I was not trying to imply that you can’t. Hope that’s clear now. 🙂
I’m not really in the CR anymore – just came back to clear that up.
I guess that’s why the moderators took the spaces out of my and DY’s names. Now you should be able to just click on the names. At least until they change it again and try to convince us it was always that way.
It’s great to be a moderator – you have the power to delete, post, and change things at will, so you can always pretend the reality is different than it is.
I remember hearing a shiur many years ago about the significance of that Midrash. It has to do with the fact that green is a medium color apparently. Apparently, some colors are hot and some are cold and green is medium (no clue what that means – any scientists out there who care to explain?).
Anyhow, I think it had to do with the fact that she was the kind of person who can relate to everyone. This is also connected to the fact that the Midyanim thought she was from Midyan, and the Mitzriim thought she was a Mitzri, etc.
Basically, she was able to connect with and find commonality with everyone.
I hope I’m saying that over correctly – I heard this many years ago.
I always thought that was a really nice ideal – to strive to be the kind of person whom everyone connects with (without compromising one’s values obviously).
I’m glad that some people like my posts and that I can make some people smile. Nice to know that some people think my existence is meaningful.
I meant this one:
I’m not sure which one you started, but I do remember this topic being discussed before – I guess that must have been the thread you started.
To answer your second question, as long as he is young enough for me to go out with him, I would probably call him a guy. Since I call myself a girl, anyone I could go out with has to be a guy or a boy. I mean if I’m a girl, I can’t go out with men.
Shopping, if you have time and you’re comfortable doing so, I would be curious to know which thread she mentioned and what her specific issues were.
However, if you feel it would be counterproductive to post it (i.e. cause more laitzanus than thought-provoking discussion), then don’t.
Also, can’t the 36 hidden tzaddikim be ladies? A lady definitely doesn’t need to be a Gaon in order to be a tzadeikes.
“You can’t be a real tzaddik if you’re not also really a gaon”
I’m not sure about that. I think the Chassidim may have a different perspective.
I’m not sure, but I think LB and Dash might be talking about different things.
If I understand correctly, LB is starting with the assumption that the original fruit is assur but neither the first planted tree nor the tenth planted tree are definitely assur. That is what she is trying to figure out.
On the other hand, Dash seems to think that LB is assuming that the fruit from the planted tree (planted from the stolen fruit) is definitely assur. I think though that LB was talking about the original fruit when she wrote that it is definitely assur.
Am I understanding you correctly, LB?
Lightbrite – I really hope that you don’t let this stop you from posting. Aside from my own feelings, one of my main concerns when I read the OP was that it would discourage you from posting.
Your posts are amongst the most valuable in the CR, so I hope you don’t let it affect you.
Mammele – While I hear your point, I do think that politeness is more important. As a telemarketer, it really upset me on the rare occasions when someone hung up on me. I have to say that this was very rare – probably because I was calling Frum people for Frum mosdos.
If someone is giving a long speech, I can hear interrupting them politely to tell them that you can’t give, but it should be done politely as opposed to just mumbling something and hanging up ubruptly.
If you think about the fact that this person could be your neighbor or friend, then you would act differently than if you think of them as a nameless annoying telemarketer.
Meno – I did not expect that from YOU, and I am very hurt. You have always been nice before. If you have something to tell me, there are nice ways to go about it. Thank you.
saffron
friends
There is a big difference between simply hanging up and between saying, “I’m sorry but I can’t talk now” or “I’m sorry but I can’t give any money”.
I guess whether or not you should let them finish their speech first would depend on how long the speech is and how much time/patience you have.
But try to remember that they are simply real people trying to do their job , and that being a telemarketer is much more difficult than being called by one. If you keep that in mind, it might help you to have more patience.
I know that since I worked as a telemarketer, I have much more patience for them.
“Friend Bracha who goes by Bar”
What does that mean? That her nickname was is bar?
“She was from Jerusalem
Saw her on my bday”
I think that each word is supposed to connect to the word immediately preceding. So the word after “bar” should connect to “bar” and not to bracha, and the word after “Jerusalem” should connect to “Jerusalem” and not to Bracha.
Sorry to be so nitpicky, but aren’t you glad to know I’m reading your posts? 🙂
I’m really curious to know what Mrs. Seminary Teacher is going to think when she sees THIS thread, and if she will recognize Shopping :).
Would you believe that there are actually people in the world who are to my right hashkafically? 🙂
Actually, in this case, “more narrow-minded” would be a more accurate description (although she probably just thought she was being more right-wing).
I know a lot of people who did not start out “chareidi” and become that way later on (“mitchareid”). Often, those people have a tendency to become very narrow-minded.
Sometimes, people have a hard time distinguishing between “narrow-minded” and “right-wing”, but they really have nothing to do with each other. One can be extremely “right-wing” and extremely open-minded. Or extremely left-wing and extremely “closed-minded”.
In the case at hand, the issue she disagreed with was actually something I had quoted in the name of Rav Moshe Aharon Stern, zatsal. Who was actually very right-wing. But not narrow-minded.
“Lilmod, I am not sure if your post is referring to me since I am not a baal teshuva and I do have a rav. Who is your post referring to?”
The person who posted immediately before and after me.
“Yes LU and it’s really helpful that you put spaces between paragraphs. Makes it easier to read :)”
I know. That’s why I have been making a point of making lots of spaces whenever possible. I know how annoying long paragraphs are. Occasionally, it can’t be helped because the meaning will be lost.
Thanks for noticing, LB 🙂 It’s nice to know that my efforts did not go unnoticed.
“Agree with DY, just hang up.”
And I guess you were the other one, Gavra.
DaasYochid: “Some of you may not believe this, but in real life, I’m a pretty nice guy. So it wasn’t easy, but I trained myself to simply say, “Sorry, but now is not a good time” and hang up even while the telemarketer starts to make his/her pitch.”
So you were the one who hung up on me!
It is even more important to check out a Rav or Rebbetzin than a shadchan. If you go to meet a shadchan and she turns out to be a lousy shadchan, no major harm has been done – just an annoying experience to turn into a funny story for your next date.
On the other hand, an unqualified Rav can do a lot of harm.
It can be harder to check though. What you really need to do is to find a mainstream Orthodox community to become part of so that you will have more resources.
I would think it would be a good idea for you to find a bt seminary to learn in, but perhaps that is not an option for you.
In any case, what you should probably be doing right now is to just keep learning and researching and thinking things through and discussing things with people (whether in the CR or RL) and thinking through their responses and opinions until you are able to figure these things out and figure out the best Rabbanim to go to.
I think these are the questions you should ask yourself about a potential Rav: Does he follow the Gedolei Hador? Does he seem like someone who has Yiras Shamayim? Are there a lot of people who seem to consider him to be controversial? Is he accepted by many b’nei Torah? Does he seem either too authoritarian or too liberal? Does he get too involved in your personal life and/or tell you what to do regarding personal matters that you didn’t ask him about? Do other Rabbanim accept him? Is he normal and well-balanced?
I think that at this point you should probably not restrict yourself to one Rav, since it will take you time to figure out who a qualified Rav is. I think you may need to “test the waters” with several Rabbanim for now.
I have a relative who is a giyores. She told me that before she converted, she was told that she had to move to Brooklyn in order to see what mainstream Orthodoxy was like before she converted. I think that it would be a good idea for you to move to somewhere similar so that you could have more of a feel of mainstream Orthodoxy and develop more resources.
btw, I am impressed at how you do always seem to be going to shiurim and asking questions and keeping an open mind and trying to figure things out. You seem like you are on a good path. Hatzlacha with the rest of the journey!
I’m not that old….