Forum Replies Created
I am wondering if anyone can tell me about the yeshiva from the marreid/kollel aspect. thanks
well first and for most they are paper towels and not cotten and that takes care of alot of the problem mentioned above.
and when my father showed it to our dayan he said that it is fine (Our Rav was a talmud of R Moshe)
for sure i would- but i dont have my recipe notecards here so hopefully i will remember to bring them sometime
My father makes baby wipes from paper towels. he folds them into 3, puts them into a container- we use a ziploc (not a bag), pours in some baby oil, baby shampoo/soap and water (i dont know the exact amounts of what- but i can find out), shakes it and lets it sit and soak. and that is what we use in all my siblings. You have to wipe off with a tissue after because they are pretty wet, but they work very well.
about Chicago- T.I. or Anne M Blitzstein Teacher’s Institute.
While there are some girls that go there instead of seminary. most girls attend after returning from Israel. (if you want college credits in an E”Y seminary check out their IEP program- you can get 30 credits for one year)
All students are required to take 60 credits in Judaic studies (get a degree in this and you can get a second major in a variety of other areas ie, education, special ed, business, accountinf, nursing, sciences and some others) this is really more of a college type program then a seminary.
The teachers there are excellent esp those that teach limudei kodesh. However they are more of intellectual classes then hashkafa- though the teachers do have good hashkafa- they just dont teach it as its more of college type classes.
They are very warm and caring and have dorm facilities on campus. There is also a large mix of girls from different backgrounds.
Just by the way, the kesuba is not “halacha limosha misiyni”. its a contract. and if the wife is willing to say that if he goes to learn she will be mivater on that part of the kesuba for now then its completely fine. When it comes time that she is no longer mivater, or willing to exchange the zchus from his learning for her being the one out working, then he has to go out and make the $.
And what happens when the husband is working but his salary is not enough and she goes out to work too? is that any better??
I am personally happily married and have never had a broken engagemnet or anything. However a few months after i got married i found out something about my husband that NO ONE ELSE knows (his family included). If he had told me about this before we got married i would have certainly broken the engagement. but once we are married i dont think this is a reason to divorce unless it becomes distructive to our realtionship. (which this sort of issue can become in some circumatances- when there is no attempt to improve oneself) but we are working together to overcome this and he is trying to improve. and as long as we are heading in a upwards direction we will continue to work on this together.
I would bring my cell phone with me but i would turn it off before i was picked up. this way if needed it was available (once we had to call for directions and another time to find out where the next available mincha was) but it was not distarcting me and i would not be able to check for texts or anything.
just somw food for thought. i was filling out an application for medicaid- publicaid and i found something for you to really get heated up about. You are able to recieve medicaid and foodstamps even if you are NOT A U.S. CITIZEN. now that is called stealing tax money according to me. Illegals and aliens WITHOUT proper documents can still get help from the american tax money!!! Much more disturbing then Americans applying for these programs.
i don’t know if this was posted yet- i have not been able to go through all the previuos posts yet.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD.
WELL . . . YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE.
MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL ..
‘YES. YES, I DID. I’M A MUSTANG,’ HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
‘WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE’ I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, ‘IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?’
‘YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!’, I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD, BALD, WRINKLED,
‘WHAT DID YOU TEACH???October 30, 2009 5:22 pm at 5:22 pm in reply to: Tznius Support Group PLEASE WOMEN ONLY, even reading #665301
For anyone who is interested i found a yahoo group that is called Tznius. Only women are approved. To request a membership email firstname.lastname@example.org. this way you dont have to worry about men reading and they have woman only mods
meaning that every mile he needs another banana or that he can first eat all teh needed bananas and then go?
I celebrate thanksgiving everyday. and mother’s day and father’s day as well.
But i def appreciate the break!!!
Do what you need to do to have a running house- those dishes have to be washed but in my personal opinion if the beds are not made its not the end of the world. If you have children, then have them help as well. i was washing dishes when i was 9. a three year old can help sort socks and fold them to and even a little kid can learn to do a decent job folding other laundry articles- they may do it slower but so what.
and of course keep in mind why you are doing these things (plenty on that already). and if you can find something to either do while you are cleaning or a reward for finishing things (10 minutes reading that novel thats waiting, buy a danishor whatever works for you)
and if you are able to splurge on the cleaning help- enjoy.
Well i went to Bnos Chava a few years ago and loved it. I noticed that the Bnos Sarah girls (its right next door) got very close, like one big family- more so then in BC. not that we didnt but as a bigger more diverse school it wasnt the same bond that ALL the girls in BS shared. At that time (Mrs. Tarshish days) I think they had a more steady workload and a little harder then BC. meaning in BC we had the shoftim tests and then a couple papers that were over two over parts of the year, but they had a few more papers maybe not as big as the medrish paper (which was very intense) but as big as the other paper.
i dunno what it is now, but i heard that BC’s workload is comparable to what it was then.
I will buy clothes on line only if i have tried them on at a store and they didnt have the color i wanted or something like that. i do use zappos once in a while when im desperate and i often times return all of the shoes once i try them on.
also while it is good not to have a credit card because then you don’t have debt it is important to establish a credit rating. i dunno how it is if you live in israel but in america if you ever need to take a mortgage or loan you will nee a credit score. Just be responsible with your credit cadr. only buy what you can pay back. for example use it only for gas and pay it back each month.October 29, 2009 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm in reply to: Tznius Support Group PLEASE WOMEN ONLY, even reading #665247
i personally find 2 problems with slinky skirts. i do have a friend that has a slinky type skirt, however, it is made from a thicker material ( though still light weight) and therefore doesnt hang the same way or stretch out so fast.
EDITEDOctober 28, 2009 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm in reply to: Tznius Support Group PLEASE WOMEN ONLY, even reading #665237
good for you jewess!!
I cant say for everyone that posted, but IMHO the mekubalim that became famous because OTHERS spread the word were really it. its the people that say I am A mekubal that i am weary of. going to a gadol for a bracha is fine, even if you know he is a mekubal, but if he is “advertising” the fact himself then its not the real thing
i dont think that will work becasue it said they can only see the hats in front of them.
whenever i start meals with soup i get full fast.
also even though i hate doing this sometimes when i am in big fresing mood i chew gum so that i wont put anything else in my mouth. but this tends to make you hungry because it gets the juices flowing and also i wont do it out of the house.
raisens or craisens are good i find.
I personally think that the Rabbanim that go around and “advertise” themselves as mekubalim are not correct. even if things they say are true and do happen… if you learn kabbala you are supposed to be hidden about it and if you go around telling people that you do and are – it takes away from that fact. Now if you get a brocha from someone who is a mekubal but private or youget advice from him then thats fine.
my mother’s aunt insisted she go and see a certain mikubal who she firmly believed in when she was about 17 and he told my mother you will get married soon and have girls and boys. now my mother didnt get married till she was 20 (she didnt start dating till 19) and when she had me first (a girl) her aunt was all excited because she had been told “GIRLS and boys” ence i was born before a boy.but we think it was shtusim.
Yes the whole system is flawed. but as long as i (and other jewish people i should hopw) are honest on the forms and they still qualify then how is that not ethical? If people are lying then i totally understand many of the points brought down that people should not join such programs for chilul hashem etc… but as long as we are truthful and trying then where is the problem?
and while i would love to take another part time job to ensure that i have enough, i cannot as i work full day and am in school every night. but thanks for the tip.
family parties are ok
school parties are too
Just you dont need one every day of chanuka.
jothar and bemused: thank you for your support.
starwolf: thank you for those supporting statistics
havesomeseichel: I am not “leeching off the government” any more then the next citizen. other people (ie non jews) do so as well. so why would my applying and recieving be a chillul hashem? there are plenty of people out there that get aid from the government and dont work and wouldnt think of working and just sit at home all day in front of the “black box” at least i am working and my husband is helping to support the world.
sjs: well its a good thing that i dont live in NY so i dont need to feel guity taking your tax money. (all programs i have applied for are state run)
i pay taxes too and as of right now i have paid more in taxes then i take. There is also the concept of a family having an alloted amount of money for the year. (figured on r”h) now you can say if your husband doesnt work , then you may not be getting your full hishtadlus. i might agree, aside from the fact that the reason we want to look in to such programs is becasue these crazy large expenses keep coming up. like our car just dies and that was no way figured into the budget. and where i live you NEED a car to get around. public transportation is horrible and taxis etc cost a whole lot more. now we have an extra expense each month to pay back people we borrowed from. i know that thats life and big things come your way all the time and when we made our budget we cheshboned that in,but such HUGE expenses we didnt forsee and that is a major set back.
and i am not happy and comfortable taking the second we can manage without any help we will. and also who is to say that my husband will get a job no matter how menial- (he actually likes that type of thing and does bein hazmanim) but there are plenty of people out there looking for those positions with much more experience.
and most dr students get a stipend??? that is years of school you are talking about. if i was the same position and my husband was in medical school and i had the same question would you answer the same way???
oh actually if one can guess incorrectly then it would be the last one. so thats all right and they are free.
i kept misreading what you wrote i guess.
oh i see you did say they are facing forward. then they can do something like if its a black hat put your right hand on the shoulder of the person in front of you. if its white put your left hand…
but then i dunno about the last person…
are they standing in a line where each person sees the person in front of him or are they standing shoulder to shoulder
i have 2 really good peanut butter ice cream pies- both totally different. but… i dont have the recipes with me right now- so i will try to remember to bring them to work on monday.
he actually does bein hazmanim and some bein hasdorim. also his night kollel is going to start paying him soon (but not that much). one problem is that the yeshiva he is learning in doesnt pay anything until you are there a year. the only reason he is in this yeshiva is so that i can finish my schooling and once thats done we will go elsewhere.
right now ill “take from the government” and ina few years i will help support these fundings.
I also go to school for free- totally funded by government grants. the point of them doing this is so that people can get a better education and then job and it will be better for the country
While some of these points may be true for some people, it doesnt apply for everyone. I happen to be in school every evening/night (2-4 hours depending on the day) and i work full time during the day. Right now i am not making so much per an hour, but once i get my degree in accounting and then afterwards my CPA, i will b”h be able to make a better salary. My husband is in kollel and we have no help from either of our parents (aside from paying for our cell phone bill on my family’s plan). Between rent and insurance there is almost nothing left for food. so foodstamps (and hopefully soon medicaid) and any otehr funding are lifesavers. I dont have time to work more hours because the rest of my free time is taken up with running a household (and my husband helps TONS) and homework.
Thank you everyone for the other ideas i can look into.
I think that the couple should date as long as it takes to be comfortable and sure of yourself.
Personally i dated 4 weeks (7 dates and one very short one where we went out to get engaged).
i have a friend that dated 7 dates in 3 weeks.
i have another friend that dated 6/7 times in 1 week. (ok that is a little crazy- but what can an out of towner do?)
then i have friends that dated for a few months.
anything goes as long as you are not continuing to have a good time, but rather to find your spouse.
Not to worry. By our Yeshiva bachrim eat at the yeshiva on Friday nights and at people’s homes shabbos day. At this point i wouldnt be inviting anyone over friday night only in the day.
no posts approved for over 40 min… Where are the mods? in ten minutes i cant see anymore responses till tomorrow. and somehow i doubt its because nobdy is posting….
the best is to have one side of the table against the wall. then the host and hostess sit at either end and the guest couple sits on the open side- man by man- woman by woman.
or if that is not an option the host sits at the head the guest husband and wife sit next to each other and the hostess sits across from them, just more over to the woman and perferably put flowers or something in between guest man and hostess.
i learnt that in seminary
Also no one has yet addressed why there is no problems with having bachrim over. i have never heard of a family that doesnt for tznius reasons. I have heard of not having girls over – but never about boys….
(aside from once there is a bas mitzva girl in the house)
About 2 months ago we went to a family friday night. they have 5 kids with another on the way, who were all asleep, so it was just us and them. And I spoke with the mrs. and my husband spoke with the rabbi. and that was that. i have no urge to talk to and man invited over, rather i would like to talk to the ladies.
While i am not yet a mother myself i can share my own mother’s experience. she worked from when she got married until after her fourth was born. my father started working after 5 years in kollel. once my motehr felt that she was being to drained from working and running her household she stopped. she is a full time stay at home mom. now my youngest sibling just started preschool so she is spendig this year getting the house back in order and ten next year she plans to take a refresher bookkeeping course and go back to work once my brother is at school full day.
Wolf: while its all very nice to say im better off without them, at this current time they are the only people in my neighborhood and im stuck here for the time being.
the story is: i live in a yeshiva neighborhood (my husband learns there and all neighbors are affiliated with the yeshiva). we have bachrim over every couple weeks and i would like to invite over some other young kollel couples that live nearby. i asked one and she said her husband never would go for it. so before i ask oters and possibly brand myself as “off the derech” i wanted to see if anyone knows anything about it.
My husband is ok with having couples over but he did tell me that those that take issue with it are right to. he said that things have gotten worse over the years and thats why in the recent years there are no yeshivish mixed seating weddings anymore and that the mechitza in the yeshiva was changed from a seperating wall to one where you cant see over.
i can understand why people say no because tey think its a tznius issue for the husband to be around other people’s wives, but what i really don’t get is why that changes as you get older and also why its ok to have bachrim over- i mean your wife is there!!
Also is it ok for a young couple to have bachrim over from the yeshiva? how is that not an issue?
and while this is less comman, what about having girls over? in E”Y there were many families that didnt have sem girls over till they had x number kids (depended on the person)
thank you jothar.
does this also apply if you have been married for a few years but are childless?
and how could it be that after a few years it is ok? People can still compare even once they are married 20+ years.
i picked my name because its exactly the opposite of what i am.
You have to look for compatibility and similar goals in life. You check into the guy befre you go out and then you have to recheck into him (as if you never heard anything) from HIS perspective. meaning while you were told ny the shadchan and the refrences that he is such and such adn wants to learn for this long and …. get him to say what he is really looking for to make sure you truly are aimed the same way in life. also make sure to think of extremes (as mentioned above). when we went out i could see that my husband was laid back, which i wanted, but based on his stories adn actions i was able to figure out that he wouldnt be too laid back (not care about anything. also at some point you should discuss finances. it doesnt need to be an exact figure or budget, but how you are planning on living and dealing with life in terms of money. Also when money does come up later it wont be such a taboo subject. now i had 7 dates and then a 30 min date when we got engaged and dated for exactly four weeks. i wouldnt recommend that for everyone, but sometimes you can tell and it can work out fine- as long as you make sure of things. and talk it over with someone who knows and has your intrests at heart.
I felt it was getting serious after the fourth date- when i pretty much knew that barring any major discoveries he was the one. how i knew he was the one i cannot completely say- i just knew that he was right.October 20, 2009 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm in reply to: Tznius Support Group PLEASE WOMEN ONLY, even reading #665189
When I go shopping i try to wear knee-his and i always sit in the skirt in order to make sure that no skin is exposed and if the top part of the knee-hi is exposed (the elastic part) i will not purchase the skirt. also most of my clothing comes from non jewish stores. its alot cheaper and alot less problematic in general- especially if you go to the classier clothing sections. This is not only expensive stores but some examples where i can find a nice top or skirt are JC penny, dressbarn, benaton marshalls, tj max, etc…. in addition i strongly dislike most “jewish” styles in today’s age (and they dont look good on me) and i usually find nothing when shopping at jewish stores. I personally do not like tights so i usually wear knee-his (opaque black or brown- no skin shoes unless its torn) and for when i do wear nude colored tights (weddings, shabbos etc…) i found a company called elle due that makes them 60 denier.
On this topic- my husband’s tallis got dirty on simchas torah. i heard there is a way to wash it that works better then the cleaners. Any hints?
Day 1: Start 7am. Finish 1:45pm. 30 min break. no speech
Day 2: Start 7am. Finish 2:25pm. 30 min break. no speech
I am actually in such a situation myself. I work in a yeshiva office and when i was interveiwed (in March) my boss said it will probably be x amount per hour. when i called up to accept it he said that its actually 2 dollars less… but in 3 months we could talk about moving it up. i know the yeshiva is not doing that great now- i see their books and i have been working since the end of april – which is more then 3 months… I want to ask him if he can consider raising it up- but i feel terrible about it. while i am making ends meet i am barely doing so- even an extra 50 cents to a dollar would be benificial right now. Also i feel like there are some times when the office is slow (like right now) and all i ma doing is going on line- tho if he needs me to do something i am there and doing it. and then there are times (like the last couple weeks have mostly been) that i am working very hard adn even making calls at night on my own time at home because that is when people are available. Should i ask or maybe wait till a time that i feel like i am doing more? my husband thinks i should ask and it cant hurt. i am not going to leave if he cant give it but it would be extremely helpful.