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God _is_ the epicenter of life whether you force yourself to make him there or not. You need Him by virtue of existing because we cannot Devine all of our circumstances on our own. You can see the bigger picture as well as ask for the things you need. These don’t contradict.
Everything a person goes through is bigger picture oriented as each person by nature is playing their role in the bigger picture.
No I don’t think praying for hashem is much more meaningful. Because God doesn’t need me I need Him. Lol.So then stay stuck and blame everybody else but your own ability to choose.
If I put you in a place where you can cross the street and instead of crossing the street your looking at the other guy who isn’t crossing the street at the same time blaming him that because he’s not crossing the street you cant cross the street.
Delusonal much?once the root changes people will by nature change….
And that’s kind of what I’ve been saying it’s up to the individualUncle Ben understood. But you said “everybody should think carefully before xyz”
That’s a threat.
Can we please call a spade a spade..thanksI feel like anyone who makes fun of trump it’s like, their angry for some reason they didn’t get their way and they lost control. It’s so stupid honestly. I don’t know what the heck is flying with Iran i cant figure it out for the life of me but I’m sure once it’s over things will go back to normal. I think people forget that Iran litterally unalived 40,000 protesters before trump swooped in. Like let’s be for real. And arresting meduro was nothing. Please. Hate all you want but you just reveal yourself for the inconsistencies and anger that has no root in reality
Qwerty no offense but it sounds to me that your saying something like this:
They don’t give to causes _i_ agree with. Calm down not everybody has to think exactly like youAnd also in the name of “selfish ideals” of “I need to check to make sure 100 percent” how much humanity are we losing in the process. Maybe ask people, I’ve never heard someone who said “ye its such a good system”
I’ve heard people say “I have extreme PTSD” “it’s so humiliating”
If that’s the byproduct of our actions, shame, then how is that righteous, it’s self serving. And I don’t think good things come out of that
Yes there are plenty of people that get married despite the system but how many people are hurt and dehumNizing along the way.
I don’t think, doing bad things for a “good” cause leads to good things. I think it leads to a collasal lack of faith in people and in hashem and a collasal lack of opportunity that could be mitigated if we do the right thing despite the “norms”Or you can actually meet them instead of degrading everybody and treating them like they have to conform to impossible standards before we allow them to meet each other.
It’s not too risky to have a little more faith in people. If most people in the system had a bais yaakov upbringing why the extreme scrutiny?
“First we need to check everything to make sure it’s perfect till we let them meet” that’s a coallasal lack of faith in God who places the opportunities in your life, and in the people who are involved. And also a collasal lack of faith in the education system lol. Why educate anybody in the system if you can’t trust the system already.
we can have a little more trust in our singles who went through the system already.
Compataility is when you meet. It doesn’t take long to assess all that. And no it doesn’t take “months”.
The only thing control does, is give us less opportunity in the guise of control (humans are not good at assessing things because we don’t know the plans hashem has for us all the time)
I think people should trust themselves more and trust the people involved. The more information you get the more control you feel you have but it’s an illusion of control. Until you meet the person you can’t actually know who they are trulyOf course Ill get a lot of backlash people don’t like change. But the system is very degrading and people don’t see how much we are causing our own misery by trying to control every aspect of life.
When we have a little more faith there will also be more opportunity.
It’s the blind leading the blindI don’t disagree with rebemes I just think we need to sometime put aside our diffences and treat people like humans. Not everybody is going to think exactly like us. And yes people can be very misguided but like I said you can set an _example_ by being different which is why God chose us in the first place to set an example to be “light among the nations” not to degrade everybody that is different then us and iscolate ourselves to the point where we lose our humanity. You can be decent but also set boundaries. But first you need to be decent. That’s how our forebears acted, despite everything. And if you really want to emulate those people who came before us who as we believe were much wiser then us, then let them actually set an example of how to be decent
*avraham avinu
Rebemes I hear you I’m not negating the importance of what your saying because yes sometimes you can’t be around certain people, bad influence, but everything your saying negates “treat others as you treat yourself” it doesn’t say “only treat others who are exactly like you and walk in lockstep with you, then only treat those properly”
If you didn’t know his beliefs and you met him in the street would you ignore him or say hello and treat him decently like every single human deserves. People don’t have to conform to your way of life to be treated with respect.
You don’t have to invite him to your house, but treat him with decency.
Remember when Abraham avinu was very sick and two guests came to his home. He had no clue who they were yet he treated them responsibly, no because they conformed to his noerotic way of life but because every human being no matter what their sins are (tell me you don’t sin I’m sure your perfect) deserves respect. Cuz their choices are between them and God. Not between you them and God.Also, when your struggling with something who are you going to turn to help you fix the problem, if “only looking at the bigger picture is the ultimate virtue”
You can’t put gates on connection as everyone’s connection is going to be different.
It’s like telling people there’s only one way to breathe.
Breathing is something we all do by nature. You can’t carpamentaliz and put rules on relationships and reality. PleaseEach person came down here to fulfill a role but that role is interwoven into who they are. Not disconnected to the person they are.
Just look at Moshe rabbainu, his circumstances played into his purpous, he had access to pharoa and had the authority to take the people out of Egypt. His purpous was interwoven into his personality, circumstances, and needs.
It’s all interconnected. He didn’t have to sell himself, become something else in order to play his role
Everyone has that role already imbedded within their name, their circumstances, even what they like enjoy and appreciate,
God doesn’t take the resume of your life and put you where you don’t belong. He takes your streighths qualities and circumstances and uses them for the job description that fits who you already are.
And that job description isn’t always going to look like what someone else told you it is. That job description will look like what God decided it will be. Which is through reality and who you are.Ok to give another point and perspective, let’s break it down. If I focus my prayers on the grand goal, yet that goal comes from me feeling like I have to, or that i’m more “virtuous” if I do and it doesn’t come from actual need. That’s called self deception.
You can focus on the grand goal of things if you deem them neccisary not because someone told you you should. That’s a disconnect from truth and by virtue a disconnect from self.
Also, if I believe (not know and understand, to be true, just believe) that my purpous is to negate myself and connect to “hashem”
That’s also self deception.
As I don’t believe that’s the purpous of mankind.
God is present for _you_ when you need him and he’s always there when you need him and he’s always taking care of things for you when you need him, and he’s also orchestrating events in the world when they are needed, (which isnt inherinitly your responsibility, but His)
Thus I don’t believe he would ask you to negate yourself for Him because that’s not your purpous. He doesn’t need you to fullfil that roles Hes already playing that role cuz he’s god. He needs you to operate as a human being in this world and do the purpous you were designed to do. Not sell yourself to become so attached to him that you have no self.
If he wanted you to be that way he wouldn’t have created you an individual with individual circumstances, He would have kept you in heaven without a body and soul.Ashreg I’m not sure it matters how you view life.
One is a forced view based off of, conforming your needs to a bigger picture and one is honest view of life because it’s focused on reality.
Just because I pray for myself and my own circumstances (I’m the one who has to deal with them hello) doesn’t mean your more virtuous cuz your putting the whole before the self.
It’s still based on circumstances in some ways because what got that soldier to feel that way? Perhaps he simply has everything he needs and therefore focuses on the bigger picture or he feels more virtuous by focusing on the bigger picture which is a form of self deception but go you for being self deceptive.
I’m not sure what makes the bigger picture more virtuous.
The bigger picture regardless in my view is gods responsibility. God is orchestrating the bigger picture and I can still focus on my immediate needs and struggles and also appreciate the bigger picture as well. One doesn’t really negate the other. And also who cares, it’s like saying if I drink water when I drink it I blink twice. And the other guy doesn’t. Your still drinking water. There’s nothing more virtuous about different thoughts people have or different ways of looking at things.
It’s all based on necessity and purpous.
I also don’t think you can have a real relationship if your not asking for things you need and focusing on your actual problems. Lol
I can focus on my problems and also the bigger picture if that’s what I feel like doing.The lack of humanity comes from yourself qwerty it’s so lauaphable honestly how everything you say about others is a direct reflection of your own disgusting behavior.
But its ok keep talking“wild beast”
Who talks like that about their fellow man
Your insufferable qwerty just take your disgusting charachtor and leave nobody wants you here.Qwerty613 stop dehumanizing people please thanks
The true character of a man is not who presents himself to be but who he i
s on inside. We are so focused on confirming to outside forces and presentation we lost our inner compass and the heart of true character. When all those become less important that’s when true morals and character can reveal itself. Until then we will just continue this complex game of trying to fit in but not truly ever making itAlso, the process of living with less will give more space for real connection, communication and relationships that have more depth and not as much social competition. It’s leaving people empty and stuck and being real and authentic is important not just for spiritually but also connection. Other good qualities and things that are more important can shine through and become stronger cuz they are actually much more important
The town itself, is cursed and will spit people out, the suffering is so suffocating people just leave by nature. But honestly should we maintain the status quo and continue the suffering? Or maybe people can wakeup and change the vibe by existing at a different frequency of behaviour? There’s always a chance right?
It’s a topic nobody seems to think is important….the blind leading the blind “this is what we do”
Just a pathetic excuse at misery and controlYes but where does it comes from, the judgment, what is the root of the behaviour. Is it a superiority complex where everyone thinks their better then everybody else?
That’s an education problem.
And a materialistic problem depending on the root.
It’s like in gan Eden God asked “who told you”
So here’s the question “who told you, your superior”
Your not. Superiority is an inner belief that comes from having too much or being told something that might not neccisarily be correct but is thought to be true.
So yes let’s stop looking down our nose at everybody because the reality of the situation is that despite having very different circumstances we are all the same.
Also I would advise people to tone down their materialism a smidge because by virtue of being too materialistic it by nature leads to judgment. It’s nature. If I always put on the most stunning outfit to go outside I’m going to feel superior by nature. Get rid of that stop doing that. Be humble and start cultivating living with less. It will straighthen other charchator traits like humility stewardship responsibility blah blah blah
get rid of the root cause and the issue goes awayAshreg I wouldn’t say so because when circumstances play out they always sirprize me by being better then I anticipated or could ever dream up which points to the fact that God Is more capable then me of figuring out my own circumstances.
There were times in my life where I tried to deliver on my own terms and I always failed. That’s where faith comes in because I’m human and fallable and all I have is the direction and trust it takes to move forward and let God do what He does best. Dream of a better outcome then I can dream up for myself.
I don’t think we are complelty contradicting each other but okThis is why I keep talking about individuality because as much as we like to conform to norms when is there a line in the sand that says “my self respect is more important then fitting in”
In a socioty that doesn’t respect you for being an individual are they your true friends? I think not. If you cannot be yourself in literally every conversation because it’s always a damn competition. Doesn’t that point to a socioty that is somewhat corrupted by materialism. When I was young it was a select few whod look down their nose at you if you didn’t measure up now it’s a plague and has seeped into every part of our socioty. Where is God in all this. Where is morality.
Morals dictate honesty with yourself and your circumstances. Taking a good look in the mirror and saying. Look I don’t have therefore I will _have_ to make do. And yet that will make me stronger in the end. Why? Because your not living in delusonal thinking anymore your living in reality.
How long is socioty going to destroy our humanity? For everyone and forever?
When nachshon ben aminadav stood in front of the ocean and God said to go into the ocean, the rouring waves seemed impossible and they had an entire army behind them that was about to kill them and yet he took a deep breathe and went into the ocean and the impossiblity of the situation was so strong, yet he went in up to his neck, and suddenly the oeceon split.
If he had tremendous faith and courage to do what needed to do despite all the _crazy_ odds. (They were crazy odds) So can you.
When you are ready to step into the ocean of “personal life circumstances of impossiblity” and willing to have the strength to live within your means, and despite the army behind you of people who degrade humiliate and villify you for stupid things, you will suddenly see the ocean split like a miracle and life itself will free you and make a way for you to cross the oceon of impossiblity and you will be free from Egypt of abnormal material control.
Let yourself be a man of God. not a cowardly man of socioties whims where people lose their souls dignity and morality in the process of fitting in.I wonder if selling your soul and livelihood to the masses opinion of what you should be doing is a form of idolitry, for example (and I’m not trying to be dramatic just giving perspective),
God gave you specific circumstances right? But instead of living within them your saying: well I’m not happy with you gave me God I want what he has and then I’ll spend all my time trying to get what the other guy has, or living like the other guy because you can’t come to terms with your own life circumstances.
Your sacrificing yourself on the alter of materialism only to lose your self worth, dignity and character and true self in the process.
“Do not place other gods before me” perhaps can translate to the material world as I’m don’t place yourself in others circumstances because they are not what God wants from you specifically.
Great suffering comes from selling yourself to those who don’t accept you as you are anyway.
A fickle socioty isn’t true friends regardless. Maybe focus on what is important to you. Not what is important to everyone else. and realize that if God gave you what you have then he will also give you the strength to to live in these circumstances despite what the naysayers say.Your paying with your life and happiness. This is why boundaries are important. In any other scenario in life would you give in? Or would you say no. Start saying no. Lol
I know it’s hard cuz socioty can be suffocating. But who gives a damn. Have some strength. Honestly people may judge but then they move on. And anyways if your not accepted for being yourself then why would you allow socioty to dictate your self worth. It’s kind of sad what the world has come to. You are paying a very steep price to fit in….it used to be the rich were rich and poor were poor. If your poor your poor. And the rich do whatever they do with their money. Now you have to make a choice. Will I let the rich dictate what I choose or not.
It’s not simple but it’s a requirement for a happy life. Lol
It’s worth it to you to pay with your happiness and self respect?
I personally wouldn’t pay with those things as self respect is as important as fitting in.
Living within your means and not selling yourself has something that comes with it. It builds character.
Character requires you to say no when the time calls for it otherwise you become a slave to socioty.
I’m not sure why _that_ is worth it to you. It wouldn’t be worth it to me personally.
It’s like saying “God I don’t like what I was given therefore I’m going to sell every vestige of humanity I have to fit into a socioty that has zero respect for me and my circumstances”
Your selling yourself short.
Yes your right you don’t want to “stick out” but at what cost. To your own sanity. I don’t think it’s worth it honestly.
When your ready to say no you’ll become stronger and those material things that make you feel you made it will matter much much less. HonestlyYes but normal keeps moving. When are you just going to stop playing and live normal like yourself or what you decide is normal. In the name of not sticking out it seems your losing your grounding and that is selling yourself to fit in at the whins of whatever the forces are in the system. That’s why sticking to your guns is important so you don’t get carried away with social norms. As they are fickle and ever changing.
This is quite like biblical morals. Morals don’t change cuz times change. When you have enough courage to say no you’ll stop living on a twisted reality.
Remember Everytime you give in to the quelms of ever changing goal posts you lose yourself more and more. You _are_ paying for that with your soul and lifestyle. Lol
Maybe it’s time to say. Yes this might be normal but I also think it’s abnormal and stick to your guns.Maybe that might be a good thing. To stop being so particular about information. Information doesn’t get to the heart of compatibility, meeting does maybe we should skip over the checking situation just a smidge maybe people will get more dates and more opportunity towards their ultimate goal.
Sorry I didn’t read your second message. The question is where is the line of when you say no to your kids.
Is it the 300 doller jacket they ask for cuz everyone is wearing it or is it some other conveluted crazy. The goal posts keep changing and teenagers especially are extremely fickle and judgmental.
Being different builds character. I’m most circumstances excluding extreme poverty. I don’t think we even live lives anywhere near extreme poverty. We live in an ivory tower of a abject deluson. Part of parenting is saying no when life calls for it. SorryIt’s root is corruption I think.
Corruption of Devine law. In some ways I think
It’s the pivot from morality to conformity and the pivot from personal choices, based on personal circumstances especially when it comes to, say materialism, that has stunted people into this deep mess that the above poster mentions.
If people are truly drowning….which who knows it might not be true, but if it is true, then we need to look at the root of those choices
Is it because people are selling themselves to the idol of materialism?
Is it because of other forms of corruption.
I personally think, honestly it’s a crack in the systemic foundation of socioty that may have come about by our own actions that say are negative.
For example
_if_ socioty treats people badly because of extreme judgment (just an example) then the reaction is they tend to suffer in their own lives as a reflection of their own bad actions towards others.
_if_ socioty forgets certain moral virtues and harms people collectively because of a lack of humanity (whether because of ideological thinking which can carpamentaliz and create an us versus them reality, making everybody fit into neat boxes of scorn)
Then the reflection of that becomes suffering in our own lives.
These cracks _if_ they exist is a byproduct of actions we take on a daily basis that _maybe_ harms ourselves but perhaps also harm others
Life is quite like a mirror, what we give out reflects back not always on a lineor fashion but sometimes in a metaphysical fashion of reflection of our destructive actions onto ourselves. (Hard to explain) Suffering points to say, how we treat others that’s how we get treated by life….dunno can’t find the right wordsIf i or anybody is capable of using thier brain and inherint wisdom about all other subjects why doesn’t it translate as well to the subjects we discuss most here. Living breathing hypocrisy lol
Of course I agree. That’s why I have my own oppinions as well. But it’s funny how people are allowed to have their opinions about everything else but the second people have an a difference of oppinon about cultural or Torah context suddenly it’s all sheeple speak.
It’s just a glearing contradiction don’t you thinkReb emes. I hear you honestly, but show me biblical context of where it says to treat people badly. Honestly