Forum Replies Created
RisingSun: Wow, that is so inspirational, thanks for sharing. May you continue shteiging. It’s so good to receive these little signs from Hashem, it shows that indeed, He does care and is proud of you, ?????.
streek, I’m hearing the question I asked just a few short years ago. (I am bh now happily married with a beautiful baby)
A – Marriage, in all honesty, does not make sense. Why would anyone want to commit themselves like that? Why would anyone want to be tied down to a spouse and family? Work for them, cook for them, care for them, bathe… it’s endless. Well, firstly, Hashem created us human beings to WANT to get married. But what if you don’t want to, like you said? I didn’t either want to get married at a certain point. But then I suddenly did. Why? Human nature, my friend. But if you want to go from a philosophical point of view, then here goes:
B – We are not meant to lead a selfish life. When one marries, it is an excellent opportunity to work on one’s middos. Middos you thought just didn’t bother anyone, is suddenly far from ok. And that is why were here. So marriage does bring you closer to your goal. Also, it says in the Torah that one should be fruitful and have kids, meaning we should build the coming generations.
In a nutshell: the reason we marry, from a Torah perspective, is to better ourselves and build our nation (Ofc, those who can’t marry or have kids have diff cheshbonos which I dont know of)
Sorry, I don’t have the time to get deeper into this, but I hope this answered at least some of your qs.
Ok, I’m breaking rule #2 (which was born after breaking rule #1 not to post at all): I’m posting again. Syag, I just wanted to say that I’m touched. Thanks! I have also been thinking about you a lot. Whenever I pop in to take a peek at the cr, I rush to see your comments. I wish I knew you IRL, you seem to be such a good, sincere and wise person.
ayiddisheneshomaiscrying: I’m truly sorry you are going through such a terrible ordeal.
I haven’t posted anything in close to three years, and barely visited the cr (since my internet is usually filtered and it’s blocked). I had my internet opened for a different reason, and just popped in for a minute. When I saw this thread I knew I had to post.
I saw you were advised to go to Rabbi Weiss from Eitza. I hate to give names and speak loshon hora, but this is letoeles. He is clearly NOT the right person to go to. I have had a terrible experience with him – he nearly ruined my life!
I don’t want to go into details since I might be recognized by other people, but I beg you to try other organizations first. I was b”H not abused, but had other issues as a teen (I am still using this sn, but I am not a teen anymore). I reached out to eitza for help and just sank deeper in the abyss I was in. I b”H got out of it through the help of my very devoted, caring and smart mother. I am currently married and am a mother myself b”H 🙂
Wishing you lots and lots of hatzlacha and siyatta dishmaya.
It’s nice that you want to get published:)
Does Horizons still exist? If so, I think they accept articles and poems. Also, you may want to try your local weekly paper; they would probably accept your stuff rather than the popular magazines who get loads of articles (although I believe you’re doing a good enough job for them too:P).
Let me know when it’s published, I’ll have to get the magazine!
Syag: Thank you so much for your encouraging words and beautiful bracha. It’s truly appreciated! BTW, I just want to say that your story inspired me to do mitzvos with more kavana and concentration. Thank you SO much!:)And thanks for sharing your “embarrassing piece”! I gained a lot. You are a true inspiration.
blabla, you are talking of marriage as if it were THE goal in life, and once you reach it – then what? Well, Hashem did NOT create us TO GET MARRIED. Neither did he create us to be thin. He created us to do His will and to bring Him kavod. Marriage, as well as a number of other things are the ROAD to get there. It’s a lifetime struggle. Marriage is a great way to work on one’s middos, since there’s so much giving, and tolerance involved, which is why it is a big step in the right direction. Keep your eyes focused on the GOAL, NOT ON THE ROAD! Hatzlacha.
What a profound thought, MiddlePath. I never thought of it that way! I am in need of chizuk in this area, so thanks a lot for sharing.
Syag lechochma: Your post gave me the chills. Often, I do take the mitzvos for granted, and do the mitzvos robotically. That was an eye-opener for me, and got me thinking…so thank you!
Middle: I sure am glad you are still on this thread!
here i go: Great work!:)
CallMeDave: Woah! Beautiful piece!
Oomis: Thanks for sharing, truly nice!
Princess: Ah, I didn’t know I was supposed to take it hard. I’ll try to do so, from now and on;) Howaya doin?
SaysMe: How’s it going? Your poems are truly a work of art. Hope things get better soon!
blabla: How’s everything? Poems are amazing – as usual!
Middle: Glad you’ll stay here:)
Princess: Hi:) You sure are right. What I meant was, it seems like this particular poster STRUGGLED HARD. And I want to add, that there’s no way I would know what’s going in in anyone’s life, and although some people may seem shallow and carefree on the outside, they may have some real difficulty that I don’t know of. (I say this from experience!:P)Everyone has a goal. To some it’s hard, and to other’s it’s… MURDER! It sure can get veeery tough at times (do I have to tell you about it?!). But again, there’s NO WAY I could measure how difficult it is for others to achieve their goals. (Sort of like a test [why do I constantly use this example??] those who get a %100 didn’t necessarily work harder than the kid who got an %85). But Hashem DOES know, and He will give us schar accordingly!Lefum tzara agra:)
here i go: Welcome aboard! I’m SO glad you decided to post that poem! Well written, and with such feeling, it’s clear you’ve been through this difficult ordeal yourself (not just giving advice without knowing what it’s like!). Thanks a lot for the inspiration! Keep them coming (no, I DON’T know you:P)! Your amazingly srong character shines through. Keep going!
Think First: Good idea:) Perhaps you should start?
blabla: I’m truly sorry. Hang in there!
IMHO, facebook is not just about the user. Some of you say that you have a facebook account, and you use it wisely. Wonderful. BUT when you’re talking about shidduchim and marriage, it’s NOT just you anymore. You will bezras Hashem bond with your spouse, build a home, and you are an example to them. YOU ARE THE ROLE MODEL. The question is really, do YOU want to bring facebook in your home? WHICH INCLUDES that your kids may abuse it? Do you want your spouse to be on facebook and POSSIBLY be hooked, or involved with things they shouldn’t?
Marriage is about getting to know oneself. With this, and with many other issues, one must ask themselves, what do I want MY home to look like? What kind of father/mother do I want my kids to have? It’s about growing up, and choosing your life.
Hi everyone! Thanks a lot, MiddlePath and SaysMe! I really appreciate it:) Middle, hope you’d post more often, haven’t seen much of you around lately:(
ThinkFirst: You truly have talent. Keep it up!:)
Puppy: I’m certain there are people who truly do care. Just let them! Nice (sad!) poems.
caretoshare: How painful. Hope things get better for you!
blabla and SaysMe: How’s it going? Feeling any better? Thinking of you!
Princess: Aw, I’m touched:P
Do you think your Emunah is strong enough? Can you give it over to your children with clarity? Can you prove that there was maamad har sinai? Can you explain why the cristians are wrong?
I’m not sure if you’re asking this question out of curiosity or because you want some chizuk on Emuna.
Firstly, I think you should read “Permission to Believe” and “Permission to Recieve” from Lawrence Kelemen.
To answer your questions:
– I think my Emuna is strong, but there’s always room for improvement, and a shiur on Emuna is always a bonus.
– I’ve done some research, and so, I feel that yes, I can (will iy”h)hopefully be able to give it over to my children with clarity (although I will certainly daven for siyatta dishmaya, ask my husband/rav for guidance etc.).
– I can prove mamad har sinai, by the fact that it states in the Torah that so many people witnessed this big event. Had it been false, it could’ve been easily proven wrong (our great-great-great…grandparents would say that their parent, or grandparents never witnessed anything like that). Also this is THE ONLY RELIGION that has this! This is not me who’s saying this, but I’ve read it in “Permission to Recieve” where he’s researched EVERY SINGLE RELIGION OUT THERE. There’s always ONE “prophet” who somehow saw “G-D” and recieved a set of laws, bla bla bla. There’s ONE religion that did have a large number of witnesses, but they all, unfortunately, died on the spot – amazing, huh?
Amnan Yitzchak answered someone to this question, “When there’s a major court case, do you think 6 witnesses are enough?”
“How about 600,000, is that enough for you?! Do you think they ALL dreamed this up?!”
“Oh, yeah, but the <bold>Torah</bold> says there were 600,000 Jews to accept the Torah! So we’re back to square one. Why should I believe the Torah’s true?”
“Was there Pesach this year?”
“And the year before?”
“Nudnik, there’s Pesach every year!”
“Oh, yeah? Ever since?”
“Yetzias Mitzrayim, silly!”
“Aha! So, tell me, is the Torah true?!”
– As for christianity, I don’t really see why that.33 would make it or break it, but it certainly doesn’t make too much sense, and I would easily prove it.
Think First and puppy: Wow, great poems! Thanks so much for sharing!
Puppy, welcome back! In regard to your “Locked in a Box” poem, did you try asking your questions from the right people?
Princess, why, thanks! I appreciate your warm welcome/
I wrote this to all of you (especially to those who stay on the sidelines in their quiet corner;)):
I can’t see your face;
There’s a screen in the way
Can’t see the challenges
You conquer each day.
I just want to say
I truly do care
Although you don’t say it
I know it’s hard to bear.
Just hold on tight
Please keep strong
It won’t last
All too long.
Keep on going
Try your very best
And to Hashem
Leave the rest.
May we all emerge of our challenges as happier, healthier and stronger people (am I saying it correctly, PE?:))
pumper: Mazel Tov! That’s truly exciting! Thanks for sharing. Enjoy this wonderful time!
CallMeDave: You’re welcome:)
ICOT: I know your poem is directed to blabla, but I’d like to thank you. That was awesome. Unbelievably well put. The rhyming, rythm and choice of words are excellent. Thanks a lot – I too, gained a lot by reading it.
Think First: Welcome to this thread (and to the CR if you’re new, haven’t seen your name before). Your poems are sweet! Thanks for sharing.
Woah, this thread is growing! Kein Yirbu!
Middle: Welcome! I too, find this to be the peaceful island in the CR, so to speak:P Thanks for your kind words. Your amazing personality and comments are greatly appreciated in here.
SaysMe: I must say, that’s truly something special. You put so much feeling into your writing which portrays your wonderful character. Keep going! Oh, and I did write that some time ago, but not too long ago!
blabla: Your talent is unbelievable. I can really relate to the poem about not being able to cry. I remember when I was suffering and I couldn’t squeeze out a tear. With time, the dam will break, and you will be able to cry… But I hope it’ll be tears of joy!
Keep going! You can do it. Remember that we’re all backing you!
CallMeDave: How truly inspiring and motivating. Thanks for sharing.
Hey, everybody, Gut Voch! I missed you all.
SaysMe: You seem to be an amazing person who’s truly trying her best. Good luck in all your endeavors! Your talent for writing is obvious. Great work and keep ’em coming!
blabla: Glad we’re of help:)Your poems are superb!
2facer and kapusta: Welcome to the club! 2facer, nice poem!
Here’s what I’ve written on the last page of my diary:
Like all good things
This book comes to an end
An interesting blend;
It’s happiness and joy
That lifts my heart
For from those memories
I will now depart.
It’s fear and trepidation
That makes me turn cold
What does the future
For me behold?
It’s shock and sadness
Sending shivers down my spine
Are those bitter memories
I relive the depression
Anxiety and rage
While I turn
Your every page.
My eyes get teary
I read my writings
And painful a rhyme.
And now as I close
This chapter of my life
I know I am
The winner of this strife.
You seem to be a wonderful person, SaysMe. I truly feel sorry for you that you’re going through this hell. You don’t have to write it out – I know exactly what you mean. Negative thinking is a bad habit which takes time and hard work to change. (I can’t fully say I’m a positive thinker now. I still am working on that one.) We’re the type of people who analyze and view everything in a negative light. I think you need some guidance on that. I’m not a proffessional, but I’d suggest you check out the program that helped me. I’ve mentioned it in the past, it’s called the Midwest Center for Attacking Anxiety and Depression by Lucinda Bassett. I’d strongly suggest you check it out (you can go to http://www.stresscenter.com for more info). She guides and advises you on how to think positive and actually “believe” it.
Hatzlacha, and please keep us updated!
SaysMe: The only reason I said what I did, was because I too, went throught the pain and helplessness of anxiety. And because I hurt so much to see that you too, suffer. Again, I hope I didn’t hurt you or blabla.
You say it seems out of reach. I used to tell that to myself too. By saying that, you subconciously tell yourself that you’re incapable, helpless and this is how you’ll always be. Easy? No, I never said it was easy! Life’s NEVER easy. Let me tell you, even now, when I’m b”H over with my anxiety, life is still LIFE! With disappointments, frustration, challenges and difficulty. Life IS BY NO MEANS EASY! But we’re meant to work, aren’t we? We weren’t created to life an empty life of fun. We must make our life worth living. Remember, if anybody can make YOUR life easier, it’s only YOU.
Loads of luck! Hope you feel better:)
I did my share,
I did my part,
I did all I could,
to keep Him in my heart.
The rest is HIS
Blabla, please forgive me if I come across as too harsh. I don’t want to hurt you, but if it does, do forgive me. I don’t know you, nor am I familiar with your situation (other than what you’ve shared with us). Watching movie after movie, does cause to have your thoughts revolving around the stars. It takes your concentration away, plus you feel out of control, and you beat yourself up. You are not a little kid anymore. You have potential. You DO have the strength to conquer your addiction. You’re no weakling. You have to decide what you want your life to be like. There won’t be adults surrounding you throughout your life guiding you on every step of the way. You tried watching movies, being on the internet, and you realized it’s bad for you. You now have a choice. You may either ignore the fact that it’s bothering you, or CHOOSE to stop (or at least ask for help – from a rav, teacher etc. NOT the CR!).
We can all be assuring and help you ease your pain. But remember:
NOBODY CAN LEAD YOUR LIFE FOR YOU. It’s only YOU who’ll live your life, and it’s up to you to decide on HOW to live it.
I feel your pain, and truly am sorry for you. We will continue giving you support, but you must learn to make choices and take control over your life.
This CR has gone berserk. I don’t feel comfortable posting anymore. I’m not sure what’s true, false, who’s friend and who’s foe. Just wrote this to express my emotions (Please excuse my poor work, I wrote it on the spot).
To some it seems amusing
To me it’s confusing
Are there people abusing?
I am at a loss
Who’s the boss
Members to toss?
The members cooking like stew;
Is the J. Crew
False or true?
If only I’d known what to believe
AYC’s account to retrieve
And nice comments recieve.
I wish this goings on
Will soon be done
And to J. we’d cry, “Voyage Bon!”
Thanks, Charlie. But I’m not so sure. I hope he doesn’t know anything of my personal life, but an ip address is sufficient for stalkers…or is my imagination working overtime? This whole thing is freaky and truly scares me. Perhaps I’m naive, but I am scared of stalkers roaming the CR where I may have released some personal information. When I walk by myself at night, I sometimes wonder if Joe isn’t lurking in the shadows. You may be laughing, but I don’t want to take any chances with people like him. I certainly hope things are in control.
Mods, please, please do let us know when things are back to normal.
Still waiting for the apologies now that I’ve unfortunately been proven right
Sigh. Jothar, are you sure?! Oh, no. And, if you’re certain that it’s true, is he capable of doing anything now, or is he under control?
Hey, pops! I live right around the corner, and I’m exactly your age! I am tall, broad, black, with tons of little braids…y’know? You’ll spot me right away. Can you give me your social security # and credit card#, so that when we meet, I’ll ask you for the #s and if you get them right, I’ll know it’s indeed you.
blabla: Glad you enjoyed it. How’re you doing now?
I didn’t expect such a flood of compliments, I guess. It’s a good thing you can’t see my face now;)
Oh, you’re right. We’ve been through that. Sorry! But I appreciate your presence. Fair enough?:)
Princess: Aw, I didn’t expect that. And I’m certainly glad you decided to come out of hiding! Things just weren’t the same without you.:)
Supergirl: You check by inserting the number (in this case, 22) where the s was, and you see if it makes sense.
Also, CB didn’t write -4s = -4s, he just subtracted 4s from both sides.
Good luck on your test!
Thanks, kapusta. I really appreciate it.:)
Princess: Welcome back. We missed you! Thanks for your feedback (it’s always nice to hear!) To answer your question:
Ever since I’m little, I wished to die. I remember asking my mother why I can’t die now (btw I was a perfectly happy healthy little girl then) “Why do I have to go through all this trouble? We live in order to die, right? So why can’t I just die NOW?” (Crazy, I know!) When I suffered from anxiety, I truly did want to die. And now…No. I definitely DON’T want to die. I love life. Nevertheless, death doesn’t frighten me as much as it scares others, I guess. It’s like when you have a huge test in school. Some will anticipate it and keep saying how hard and scary it’ll be, while playing around. I guess I know what I’m here for – to “shteig in my middos”, help others, do mitzvos, and ENJOY life – which I’m doing (working hard, believe me). So, the test is just as difficult as it is to others, but I’m studying hard…Get it?
Hope you stay around!
Boy, supergirl, you made me do some math… Haven’t done any in a looong time!
I think it’s called “Inverse Operation”. The idea is to isolate the ‘s’, thus finding the value of ‘s’ (as CB and AYC explained above). Good luck!
Thank you, everyone. Toi, that sounds great. I’ll definitely try it out. I don’t live near B&H though. Do they have a website, or can I call them? TIA
Hi, I was in the writing mode, so I wrote this just now (blabla, I had you in mind).
Death – Our Life
Some people fear
Thunder and lightening
Some people feel
There are people
For death they strive,
They don’t want to live
Don’t fight to survive.
To some it is
An evil decree
Wish to be set free.
Is its meaning
Good or bad?
Is the result
Happy or sad?
Death is the entry
To a new life.
Will it be serene
Or filled with strife?
Will I enter
A beautiful paradise,
Or will life there be
None too nice?
Death’s the life
That we earn down here.
Death will come,
When we’d complete our share.
Death may be scary
It may be exciting.
Death may be ominous
Or ever so delighting.
Unlike animals or plants
We were given a choice:
Whether we will cry
Or we will rejoice.
I too, have a hard time controlling my anger. Advice would be appreciated.:)
Kapusta: What usually helps me is thinking (or talking to myself…but don’t tell anyone):
a- Why am I angry? Is it because of my sensitive, analytical nature, or has somebody truly done something wrong?
b- Is there anything I can do about the situation? Approach the guilty party? What should I say? (I formulate a little speech if relevant.)
c- Am I overreacting? Is it really that bad, or am I taking this too personally?
d- Am I expressing my anger to the wrong people (family)? If so, tell them you’re stressed out, and you need a little break.
e- Does the person I’m mad at KNOW I’m upset, or am I putting up a brave front being “nice” while boiling inside?
Also, keep a diary with your successes. Write exactly what the situation was, how you overcame it, and how you were able to be dan lekaf zechus.
Drink a glass of water.
Most of all, is Emuna. Remember that no one can ever do you any harm, unless it is Hashem’s Will. And if so, that person is just a messenger – why be mad at them?
Anger is a hard midah to break. It takes perseverence and patience to truly get rid of this trait. There’s no magic pill that eliminates it. But with hard work, we’ll both reach our goal bezras Hashem.
Thanks a lot, everyone.
taking a break: Thank you! I’ll check into that.
Coffee addict: Hmmm. Either way I’ll be giving away personal info.;) Thanks anyway.
LuvMe: Any experience with them? What model? Thanks for your response.
tryinghard: I sure hope my hands don’t tremble at my age:)
Ms. Critique who may always know the answers correctly: Sorry, I know this doesn’t belong on this thread, but I’ve been wondering for quite some time now; do you always know the answers correctly, or you may sometimes know the answers correctly? BTW, you sure are “Ms. Critique”.;)
SaysMe: Thank you. Your writing is beautiful, thoughtful and meaningful. Keep it up!:)
Puppy: Glad you enjoyed. How’re you doing? Still struggling with Emuna? Did you ask/look for answers?
blabla: I’m so sorry you feel that way! I know exactly how you feel. I didn’t do well in math. (BTW, the fact that I’m writing this is also a big step for me. I would NEVER admit it before!) I remember once doing bad on an algebra test. I went home crying and was beside myself for days and weeks. I constantly beat myself up that I’m dumb. Why? I did well in all other subjects. Simply because we are perfectionistic. We have to be PERFECT. We must be brilliant, the life of the party, friendly, just… EVERYTHING! You know what? It’s impossible. There’s absolutely NO ONE who’s perfect. We’re all here to work, aren’t we? Although I did well in other areas, I still had to study hard. I think most girls do. You’re not alone! Ask your friends if they feel the same. Pair up with them, study together…Make it light and have some fun. YES – FUN! Enjoy yourself! Relax!
Here’s what I wrote (while I was really anxious) about my perfectionism:
I Gotta Be Perfect
I gotta be perfect
I gotta be ideal
I must always be collected
No matter how I feel.
I gotta be perfect
I Gotta be ideal
I must excel in math
And study with zeal.
I gotta be perfect
I gotta be ideal
I must be a great cook
Sweat over a lavish meal.
I gotta be perfect
I gotta be ideal
I must be a loyal friend
Collapsing, so _____(my ex-friend) can heal.
I gotta be perfect
I gotta be ideal
I must be a devoted daughter
Clean, cook and peel.
I gotta be perfect
I gotta be ideal
By allowing my imperfection
The true ME to reveal!
Hope it helps, and good luck!
Supergirl and GumBall: Can you please elaborate on the model etc.? Thanks.
Oomis, I owe you my thanks. This choco chip cookie recipe is a HIT! My sibs love them. I added nut crunch instead of regular nuts, and they’re delicious. It adds a new twist. Thank you for posting it!
SisterBear: Glad you checked it out. Hope you’re doing better…Hatzlacha!
It looks like you are suffering from Anxiety (although I may be wrong). Been there, done that. We all have stressful and anxiety creating moments in our lives. All you need, is learn some coping skills. I was cured by listening to Lucinda Bassett’s program (they’re 15 CDs) called The Midwest Center. You can go to http://www.stresscenter.com to find out more info.
My brain just can’t deal
Try taking a break. Take a hot bath, read a good book, listen to music, or just take some time for yourself and do nothing.
I have nothing to look forward too except my friends who are all in the same boat as me.
Misery loves company. Try hanging out with positive good-natured friends. Also, please do look for something to look forward to. I usually treat myself to writing or listening to music.
Hatzlacha Rabba! Please keep us posted on your progress.
Wow, MiddlePath. I really am busy now (and promised myself to exit the CR), but I had to read your entire post. It’s absolutely amazing. Well written, to the point, and practical. Why, I think you’d be a writer one day! Thanks so much for sharing. I truly gained a LOT. If I develop this “listening skill”, it’ll be your credit.
Thank you once again, and may you continue being a source of inspiration to all of us.
Welcome back! The CR wasn’t the same without you.
I thought I’d share this poem I wrote while suffering from anxiety (just a few short months back!), to all of you who are suffering from anxiety, depression and/or ED. Just to show that you’re not alone, and that I feel your pain.
I’ve got an open heart
To tamper with and break
You can take part,
Feel free to take.
Don’t ever hesitate
To stamp on and tread
That’s my fate;
Pain, sorrow and dread.
My heart has undergone
So many a surgery,
The damage is done,
Peace – an unreal luxury.
Get hold of my heart;
Prick it, cut it with no doubt
Quickly tear it apart,
For time’s running out.
Soon my heart will come
Crashing to the ground
It’ll lay limp and numb
I’ll be lost – never to be found.
Princess: You are a true inspiration. Thank you very, very much. Well written, as always.
Syag: Welcome to this thread!;) Your post truly puts things in perspective. Great letter. Keep ’em coming!
blabla: Thinking of you. Are you feeling any better? Your poetry is unreal. Keep it up!
GumBall: What do you mean for real? I didn’t send it, but the situation is only too real, unfortunately.
sometimes these “hearts of stone” are so soft that they block it from feeling.
Princess: I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for your encouraging words (as usual;)).
Are you kidding? I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I had a hard time working, schmoozing or laughing.
Oh, I just noticed this. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel. I’m sitting here in tears. Hashem, ad mosai? Oh, I just can’t take it.(Sigh)