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I dont think that anyone can deny the amazing work that Chabad does. You may have philosophical and Hashkafic differences but the Avodas Hakodesh that they do on the scale that they do it, is astounding.
In the same vein Aish Hatorah and Ohr Somayach have reached out and returned hundreds (thousands?) of our brothers to Yiddishkeit, no doubt that these organizations/Yeshivos are absolutely amazing.
I dated a BT who strongly felt that these Yeshivos, who *I* have the utmost respect for, are mass brainwashing centers. So, to each their own.
FWIW, I believe that those who are seeking out the truth will find it with a special Hashgacha Pratis in a way thats tailor made for them.
At least I havent lost my sense of humor.
“For the right one, I’d have expected you to say, you’d live in a cardboard box under the freeway!”
That desperate I’m not.
Like a fine wine I get better with age. Someone better snatch me soon before I demand an address on Park Avenue 😉
fedex
If you really did have a thyroid problem you would be more understanding and sensitive to others…. I’m going to take the liberty of not believing you.
(p.s. I dont have a thyroid problem, I am just butting in to other poster’s business)
Health
I’m not easily “woo-ed” 😉
I’m around BSers all day, I can smell one from across the room.
“i really think that the people who are making the biggest deal are not the guy’s, but rather their mothers.”
That I agree w. And I would like to add the Shadchanim, who think that you are not marriage material because you are a size 14. But, this comes from somewhere after all, they are only the middle men catering to their client.
Speaking about a woman like a piece of machinery? Yea, pretty insensitive.
pba
If thats the way you truly feel you don’t deserve children more over a wife to give you any.
dunno
Men don’t respect you more when you sell yourself.
edited lol
How about you live your loveless emotionless life, according to how you think the Torah “mandates”.
And I’ll live my romance, love filled heretical life and we’ll see who is happier in the end. Deal?
Na, its ok, at least someone was privy to my brilliance in its natural form 😉
bpt
You are right, basements will run you about 900-1100 these days, but a basement? *shudder*
OOT prices vary. Cleveland ridiculously cheap…. LA insanely expensive.
Shlishi
Perhaps you forgot to cut and paste the first half of the definitions?
a. A love affair.
b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: They kept the romance alive in their marriage for 35 years.
c. A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: a childhood romance with the sea.
(I can Google too)
I promise my post made sense before it was edited.
sorry, I tried my best. You can try redoing it yourself if you want, and I’ll switch it.
“What does this have to do with znus?”
How about everything? Don’t even try to tell me that the size 0 wife makes a better wife and mother. Which is fine… just own up to it.
“Being a good yeshiva boy. i think we have the right to the most attractive wife we can get. we never fooled around with all the pretty ones.”
At least someone finally had guts to say it like it is. That is the bottom line, you feel that since you never fooled around you are OWED the prettiest girl you can get. REALITY CHECK: Jewish men aren’t (bederech hateva) what to look at, and good Bais Yaakov girls dont fool around either and we dont ‘demand’ the same perfection you do. At the end of the day the Barbie Doll is also going to have your kids and be with you (hopefully) until the end, after the novelty of it all wears off, so maybe think for a minute is this the person I want to raise my kids and who I want to spend the next 60 yrs with?
edited
“$800-900 for rent?”
If you’re living in a car….
dogo
In fact, I do travel. Just because there seems to be A LOT of Frum people in the world, that doest make it a million. There were rough estimates given at the Aish symposium and it was no where near 1 million. (They were trying to show the severity of intermarriage)
Avram
Romance and Infatuation are not the same thing.
Romance or Romancing someone is the act of loving/courting them. Infatuation is an emotion.
This is going to go down a slippery slope fast.
yummy cupcake
All I can say to you is that I’m sorry for you that you feel that way. Maybe one day when you get a little older you will realize that not everything in the male/female relationship beyond sharing like hashkafos is ‘goyish’.
“If he is coming from Lakewood…”
In which case he probably wont be using his money. Come to think of it, he will be using his dates parents’ money (should all things work out) for the next X amount of years, so its in his best interest to sweep her off her feet. 😉
s2021
…And you the one being budgeted can be uninterested.
Shlishi
That isn’t entirely true. The girl should *offer* to pay (or plan a date) after the 4/5 date. There is give and take in a relationship.
Health
Your mistake is that you read it as romance instead of romancing. The definition of Romancing is to court or to woo someone. It doesn’t even have to be about the money its an attitude, maybe some girls are ‘woo-ed’ by a $5 watered down drink in a noisy hotel lobby, I am not.
Does it discredit what I’m saying if I don’t?
I believe in traditional male/female roles, especially while dating.
If I offer to pay thats my decision, but a gentleman gets me every time.
I went to an Aish symposium. There aren’t a million Frum Jews in the world. Love the optimism though….
Health
Dating is not a time for budgeting.
The guy that gets the girl is the one who romances her.
Like they say: Drinks are an audition, Coffee is cheap, Lunch is an interview and Dinner is romance.
No regrets with going all out.
“woah popa ur short”
Welcome to the Jewish male dating pool.
Popa
Online calculators (and any chart for that matter) are extremely basic. They dont take anything like body frame, muscle, ethnicity etc in to account, all of those things are factors. A female at 5’8” 140 lbs may be ideal for a small framed woman, with no muscle, and no shape.
“I am 5’7”, and I weigh less than 140, and I do not look “skinny” “
Yes, I am sure you are a regular Dwayne Johnson. Mazal Tov, you are Jewish.
shlishi
Obviously (not to you?) it was an example.
TikkunHatzot
A girl at 5’8” 180, although that may sound a little overweight if in shape and toned, thats what a woman is supposed to look like! Unfortunately, Yeshiva boys like their woman looking like well…. Yeshiva boys. Woman are supposed to be curvy!
“On the other hand, many girls are unrealistic about boys when it comes to money, jobs etc.(are they a professional? did they go to college?) That is being very external as well!”
Thats not being external, thats simply wanting stability. Granted no one can guarantee that just because Boy X went to Harvard has 3 Bachelors a Masters and a Phd, money will never be a problem, but a girl wanting that over say a guy who never went to school and will do whatever ‘comes up’ or mooching off his parents, that there is nothing wrong with.
eclipse
I’m sorry if I insulted you and clearly I did.
Its exactly like mikehall said, I wasnt suggesting therapy in a negative or insulting way, I merely made the suggestion to help you.
You post highly personal details about your life on an anonymous message board, and many of those details are troubling to the us on the other side of the screen. Remember, we ARE people and we FEEL for you but we cant help you because this IS an anonymous forum. My suggesting a therapist was my way of reaching out to you in the only way I could… by making a helpful suggestion.
It is clear from your response that you do not see a therapist and I sincerely hope that you will consider it.
Again, my deepest and most sincerest apologies. I wish you all the best.
“She can say she wrote things down in a journal to help get it out of her system and move forward. It is up to them if they choose to read it and know her side of the story.”
This is a terrible idea on so many levels.
eclipse
I asked not to receive a response but for the reason that if you don’t you should consider it. There is no shame in getting help when you need it.
am yisroel
If she was being followed/stalked/harassed instead of just being bored…. She would take REAL steps to stop it, not post in the CR.
“How can we justify purchasing a second shirt with money that can be sent to a homeless family in Japan?”
This seems a bit extreme.
You have to be levelheaded and realistic. There is always going to be someone somewhere suffering. If you are honest with yourself that you are a charitable person and that you genuinely care about the world community and you do what you can when you can, I don’t think the burden of guilt is yours to carry around that you aren’t doing enough.
Everyone has their own definition of what is considered ‘doing enough’ but that is for each individual to decide.
(Wolf, nice to see you on the logical side of the argument 😉
Eclipse
Have you ever gone for therapy?
Did you forget your meds this morning?
Under federal law, juror’s jobs are protected while they serve. An employer may not terminate an employee because (s)he is serving on a jury.
Should’ve sued for your job.
After all this Country has given you, I think you can manage a day every eight years.
Honestly I couldn’t give a flying hoot what happens. It’s only 4 hours. I’ll have the rest of my life with the man I love, thats all I care about.
The guests. The dozens I don’t know and don’t even want to be there.
A small location wedding with only close (!) friends and immediate family is fine with me.
It’s short for legitimate.
I’m not sure why you felt the need to start an argument over this, its innocent conversation with nothing inappropriate being said.
I find it more offensive that you feel the need to pick a fight over nothing.
“Or my parents aren’t that well to do either financially or mentally/physically.”
Is this English?
“If you are NOT A CPA yet, I don’t know why in the world your friends would trust you with their tax returns….”
Non-CPAs do it all the time, its called Turbo Tax.
Once money is involved it changes the dynamic of the friendship.
If it is someone who you could careless about their friendship, by all means, charge them. Otherwise, do it as a favor.
yogi
Your house is probably more radioactive than Japan.
cshapiro
You don’t strike me as the naive type.
I was sure everyone knew Tampa was a hell hole.
bpt
Do you only eat sammiches?
popa
Um, not so much…
happiest
I would guess it has to do something with their Yeshivos being in hick towns.
Richard Hatch?
Celebs live in their own world devoid of any morals, laws and code of ethics.
I think we should dump them all on an island and watch them self destruct. Oh what a great idea for reality TV. I’ll go call Andy Cohen.
cshapiro
I’m touched! Now you can come to South Africa with me 🙂