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As far as the OP is concerned, if Hashem wants you at poverty level, you will be at poverty level. You can have 3 more kids and you will find yourself with just enough added income to be just where you were with three less kids. The children are a brocha and they will bring brocha.
DY – you live in a very small daled amos.
ZD never said the word widespread, he shouldn’t have to defend it. I have been told by friends living there that there IS a very real problem with hunger and malnutrition but I did not ask for numbers or community names. I just know that if it was someone else who brought it up here, it wouldn’t have been jumped on.
Any one who thinks that there is food in everyones fridge because WIC exists is naive. WIC is for people who have children 5 and under and are low enough income. There are huge numbers of families who are not low income, by definition, but have no many left after expenses and their fridges are EMPTY. They’re children have garbage for lunch and they are HUNGRY.
Wish it wasn’t so, I know I do.
torah anytime shows a video on my computer when I use firefox but does not show anything, just sound, when I use Chrome.
Torah613Torah – I guess it’s a matter of perspective. I would find having a pesach kitchen while we can still eat chametz, and not having any food that my kids will eat available for an additional 3-5 days before pesach to be EXTREMELY stressful. This, too me, is the ‘stressless’ way to do it. 🙂
blow torch
Not quite, but whatever
because in parallel conversations I think people actuall THINK they are talking to each other.
We have lots of food, everything everyone else didn’t want in their house got dropped off in mine. Feel free to stop by. But don’t track in any matza crumbs, we are still chometzdik.
Nobody is criticizing her, she is being given a reality check. You are correct that the police is not an answer, and stopping her mom is beyond her, but you may know from other friends that even if you really believe you want help, it takes only 5 seconds to convince yourself that you probably over exaggerated the situation and it’s probably not quite as it sounds etc etc. Getting help means choosing the unknown and even people who get black eyes and broken bones will tell you that their present situation is still better than the unknown.
So how do you encourage someone not to remain complacent in a very unhealthy situation without sounding harsh? It’s a sensitivity. Not everyone can but we aren’t wrong to try.
I agree that a proudbyg is an unbelievable person, I am so impressed with everything I am reading and I too would love to offer my shabbos table. She sounds like she has options and she has her head on straight but I know LOTS of wonderful people like that who stuck with abusers for years and decades because there is always that fear of ‘making waves’ or upsetting the person you are working so hard to please.
Ohel is an anonymous call. It is not a plane ticket out of the house. Not wanting to make a first step even when it will bring no outward changes is an indication that there is a fear of change factor at play.
Most of these responses are encouraging you all to get help for all the right reasons. Calling them critics is very possibly a way to make it easier to disregard their advice.
I wish us all peace and strength and the ability to believe in ourselves enough to have our own best interests in mind. I am certainly not immune to this problem.
shrek – you wrote “. . .has deen buly . . .” 🙂
I turn it over 5 minutes before the last second. My kids don’t like to eat pesach food for any longer than necessary.
sharp – try it with bleach
DY – I’m thinkng the FR might be good, but now I don’t remember. TC is what we use every Pesach but we soak all the granules in bleach and rinse them well before Yom Yov.
I don’t really think I misunderstand you, but that’s fine. I’m happy to live and let live. As long as you don’t marry my daughter.
popa – I don’t do things like that, sorry.
an ayin is an eye. show them closed eye and say it makes no sound cause it’s sleeping.
brainstorm? Do you underestimate me or overestimate yourself?
Just tell me where to send the list.
side point
In about 20 minutes only chicagoans ans west coasters will be left online.
Bwa ha ha
Hey, that was really funny! I didn’t know you could be funny!
I should become a dentist, because I really like talking, but I don’t like listening quite as much.
you took the words right out of my mouth
Your mother’s behavior is inexcusable. Period. You may be used to it, and you are asking people how you can fix it by doing the right thing but how will that help? Her behavior is because SHE has a problem, not because you were wrong.
I am so sorry for you, when you are old enough I hope you can find a way to move out and dorm or board somewhere where you can have role models who will teach you skills to help you raise your own family. It may sound extreme, but so sounds the situation. I wish you hatzlacha.
ME TOO!!! I loved that poem and the song. And my daughter just re-wrote ‘jack and jill’ to fit the richard corey style for a college english class.
It appeared one day. At first I was offended because I am NOT like that at all. Then I realized they were commenting on my name, not my posts. I thought of asking for a change but can’t think of what to change it to.
On the ball – give us a topic to go with and we’ll submit suggestions. (with a revisionary disclaimer clause for moderation by moderators)
Was that a cranky 16 years? Or a cranky, 16 years married?
nishtdayngesheft – a bit strong of a response in defense of a pickled fish.
she recognized CPR would be beneficial to the patient and called EMT.
‘beneficial’ is a judgement. she called EMT because that is procedure.
you didn’t like my idea? 🙁
The drinks are self serve here, but it was just a guess anyway. Is the drinking age in London 18?
my son had whatever ‘documents’ you need in order to get in and they told him he can’t come in because he is under 21 (probably cuz beer is served). He had a 5 hour layover and was majorly bummed.
you need to be 21. tough luck, huh?
by watching a lot of tv and playing a lot of video games.
(was this a real question?)
You didn’t UTILIZE a third party! You are asking Rabbi Axelrod to forward an email! Is he speaking to the person, getting references, meeting them?! Does he have a clue that the emailer is contacting you because he found your story on a blog and wants to “help” you?
And how is it that nobody else has commented!?!?!?!?!?!?! Support, please!
snowbunny – PLEASE tell me you are not foolish enough to contact someone who made a screen name today just to tell you to contact them so they can help you get your life together! Do you have any clue how dangerous, careless, irresponsible, unhealthy that is???? You cannot think of living independently in NY if you are that easy to “acquire”.
community colleges are cheap if you live in district. If you live on your own you may qualify for financial assistance since you would be in the low income bracket.It’s usually enough to cover tuition in local places. Some girls in Chicago are doing online classes or skyping programs in NY that aren’t offerred here.
brocha issues
The day you stop saying no is the day he assumes you stopped expecting any better from him.
He thought he could casually mention his kiddush club and nobody would say anything,
you must have missed my post above (9 or 10 posts)
mobe – I am so sorry. It would be obvious to most that he only added that line about kiddush club in the first place in the hopes someone would jump on it. I hoped equally as hard that nobody would. I guess my connection to Gd is weaker. I’ll have to work on that.
I saw the title and thought this was a thread about my house.
I’ve heard people say, “America? Isn’t that next to New York?”
shnitzy – I can’t say I really understood most of your post but as far as the December part, well . . . I never said when it was that I saw her.
Well I actually saw a 47.25 year old woman shopping in a weekday skirt and shirt with a regular sheitel on!!! Can you believe it? Doesn’t she know the shidduch spies cruise the aisles taking pictures of potential mother-in-laws to post on the marriage websites? Her son hasn’t got a prayer!
But then my sub doesn’t really say anything about me
and thankfully mine doesn’t either, and it did bother me at first but I grinned and beared it 🙂
I was once called a jerk by a poster out of nowhere and my post asking the mods to delete it was censored repeatedly. Obviously the poster was a mod cuz they never would have let that through and they wouldn’t have censored me for respectfully defending myself.
Other than that I usually censor myself about 65% of the time. Maybe more.
realtalk – I completely understand what you are saying. Even if we, ourselves wouldn’t make that decision, and even if it is the wrong moral decision, I completely understand what you are saying. Not every non-Torah person who lets someone die is cruel, heartless, nazi-ish etc. Sometimes they are just people who imagine that no human could ever want to be alive when they are no longer productive and they feel that this is the natural and humanistic thing to do. I have seen it, heard it and experienced it. And I have seen many sharp witted, fully independent elderly people sign DNR’s behind their children’s backs to make sure they go when “it’s time”.
That doesn’t mean I believe it is a human choice, it means I believe that human’s feel it is their choice.
I still can’t figure out why we don’t change the clocks at 4 pm on Mondays. Why in the world upset the body clocks of millions of individuals when you can just get out an hour early/late from work once a year!
squeak – It’s true! Not only do I NEVER wear heels but I even make fun of people who wear them.
It didn’t sound that way. It sounded like you and some others were saying that she knew it was wrong but wasn’t invested/connected enough to rise above her job duties. I am saying that I disagree that people think there is something wrong with letting an older person die. She didn’t call 911 to save the life and then refuse to join in. She called 911 for the same reason that she didn’t join in. She followed protocol. And for all we know she was like millions of others out there who did what they hope to have done to them. Thinking she went against what is right and chose her job over a life is projecting your values on her. Many in her situation may have happily done the same thing. Of course it would NOT be the choice of a Yid, but why assume she wasn’t perfectly comfortable allowing a person to die naturally?
(Harry can do the patronus to save his past self because when he was his past self he saw his future self doing it).
I don’t know about that . . .
Based on the facts given in the story, I believe she would have (not) acted similarly if the patient was a young child with a full life ahead of him/her.
I agree 100%. And I bet that child wouldn’t have been placed in a home where the policy was not to resuscitate.
I know it’s a separate subject, I was just under the impression that you thought it was a given that resuscitating an elderly patient is universally accepted as expected so I was just answering to that. Sorry if I had misread.
apashutayid – exactly