Forum Replies Created
i don’t understand the question.
it doesn’t look like moshiach came this year.
milhouse, please explain how i answered my own question.
Rabbi A Adler from Gateshead (England) who is known to spare the whole pre Pesach period right up until Yom Tov, availing himself to answer hundreds upon hundreds of Sheilos on Kashrus of medicines and more, is now in need of your help. Please spare some of your precious time to say Tehillim and storm Shamayim for a complete Refua for Avrohom Ben Mattel who is unwell in a hospital on a ventilator.
If it is possible then how?
I heard in a Shuir that Hashem wants us all to improve in what we fault in our Davening in Shul For exmple coming late to Minyan, not coming at all, talking during Davening etc. Everyone can find their own way to improve so that when we IYH get back our Shuls, they will be a much better experience.
Definitely!!!! Hashem 100% wants something from us! We don’t always know exactly what He wants us to do but now our Gedolim are guiding us so clearly. Rav Chaim Kaniefsky said we should improve on our Shmiras Haloshon. We are all chutz lemachana what clearer message is this?
I think that Shmiras Haloshon means so much when it comes to getting along with others. How can we get along with others if we keep on hearing bad things about them???
Here are some more jokes:
1. I just sent one packet of toilet paper, one 50ml hand sanitiser and a bar of soap to pay for my school fees, the menahel was so overwhelmed he called me to give me a compliment that I am the only parent to pay 6 months in advance!
2. Shadchen: heard you have a daughter in the age how about taking that boy? Father: NO WAY I saw him going to mikva and davening with a minyan. Shadchen: oh don’t worry, we’ll wait till the end of covid 19 I am sure he will stop once its legal again.
3. Congratulations to my children on the conclusion of their study of the central nervous system. They have successfully found my last nerve!
4. Corona facts: if you see an airplane you must be dreaming, if 3 minutes have gone by without you having received any texts messages, your phone must be broken, if you see toilet paper in a supermarket, you must arrange for an immediate eye test, if you see people dancing by a wedding it must be on a screen so make sure to keep it as a secret from the moisdos!
5. My mom always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything lying on the sofa… and yet here I am, saving the world.
6. Why two, I asked you to buy 3 packets pampers? Coz I was scared, it said buy 3 packets and win a holiday in Italy…
if anyone has jokes i will be interested to hear…
i still got more if you want!!!!!!!
i didn’t look it up i just heard it from someone else.
milhouse, was your response intending to answer the question?
lower, you spelt THERE wrong.
See the Baal Haturim Parshas Bo Perek 12 Pasuk 9 who says the final geula will be like the first geula where no one should go out of their house.
I put more jokes in https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/coronavirus-jokes#post-1847465
Here are some more jokes:
1. Old mac Donald had a virus ee I ee I o. and cos of that virus he went into quarantine ee I ee I o. and the cows got sad and the pigs went mad everywhere you look there was pizza to be had, and the baker lost his marbles and the cheese went bad, ee I ee I o.
2. A gorgie came to the train station. Where are you going asked the policeman on guard. To jeopardy answers the georgie. No such place says the police. Oh, yes there is says the georgie, it said in the news, due to the coronavirus thousands of jobs in jeopardy…
3. I cleaner no coming today I isolation. I can text you instructions how to clean. If you also isolated you can send me jewellery in the post.
4. Corona jokes: no need to panic, fresh stock arriving daily!
5. To anyone dating anyone seriously: ask yourself would you wanna be locked up with this person for an indefinite amount of time? If yes marry them if not cough…
i have plenty more. want them?
i didn’t say that i am alone. i said that some people are alone.
Here are some more jokes:
1. I don’t know why the weatherman is still bothering. Its going to be 21 degrees with fluorescent lighting all week!
2. Come and join today’s schedule: departure at 8:30 am from bed to bathroom 9:30 (dressed and Davened) arrival at the kitchen where we going to have our breakfast. 10:30 we will visit the rooms and have snack. 1:00 dinner in the kitchen. 2:30 nap time with snack. 4:30 free time to walk and corridors. 6:30 snack and supper. 8:30 special exclusive corona talk titled – lets hear whats new today, snacks provided. 10:30 snack and bed time! Tune in tomorrow for NEW, EXCITING, FUN FILLED PROGRAMME!!
3. I hope that the one who manufactures lemon flavoured wafers and sees that that’s all that’s left now on the shelves will get the hint…
4. Those who foresaw 2020 as the year we would not need to do anything, just sit on the couch all day got it totally right.
5. Day 6 quarantine: preparing to take out the garbage… so excited.. can’t decide what to wear.
6. My son didn’t like supper today, made like the spoon is a airplane – y’ know, WIEEEEUW… when it arrived next to his mouth he told me in a sincere voice. Very sorry but all airports are closed these days so mine too!
7.. There is a gap in your CV, what were you doing in 2020? I was washing my hands!
it would but its not definite
milhouse, my name is not yid, it is yld!
None of you answered the question, I asked: what can people making Seder on their own do to make their their Seder more Besimcha. I didn’t ask ‘what can we do to make Moshiach come before Pesach.’
Why not try Chazzak, i’m not sure the number but maybe someone else knows.
Josef, whats the different, if it is called mishing then you won’t eat there?? Don’t tell me that if someone tells you that it is mishing you won’t eat there.
For more coronavirus jokes visit https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/ending-phone-calls#post-1846614, i by mistake put more jokes there instead of here. if you find them funny then i got many more jokes.
Here are some more jokes:
1. First two corona cases being recorded in Gaza. Home explosions expected as Gaza residents told to start working from home.
2. The local pita shops in Isreal apologise that the food tastes different. Their employees have been forced to wash their hands.
3. A message from your reflexologist: due to the virus my clinic will be closed but I will do home visits, take a seat at the front door stick your toes through the letter box and I will do the job!
5. Your son’s a doctor? Meh! My son owns a toilet roll company.
6. Can we uninstall 2020 and reinstall it? I believe it has a virus.
7. 2020 pesach seder: Kadesh, Urchatz, Karpas, Urchatz, Yachatz, urchatz, maggid, urchatz and so forth…
8. Why is garlic good for coronavirus? It strengthens the immune system and it helps ppl stay 2 meters away from each other.
9. Breaking news from ministry of health: although weddings are banned, all existing marriges will stay in effect until further notice.
10 You can’t go into depression, there are already 10 people there.
11. Corona is like an airplane, the Goyim are watching TV, and the Yidden are busy Zichen Minyonim, and looking out the window.
12.Important message re lockdown: in the voice of local rabonim, “even though we see clear signs of Moshiach approaching! Please don’t have milchemes gog umogug at home!
Shaindel, who are you asking?
Why would we have to Lein the Parsha? Doesn’t it only have to be done with a Minyan?
It depends on the persons appetite.
Yserbius123, then why did Rebyidd23 say that its nothing got to do with the topic of the thread?April 2, 2020 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm in reply to: Why do so many continue to ignore restrictions on gatherings and travel #1846392
Shlomo, i don’t really understand your answer.
RebYidd23, if it has nothing to do with the topic of the thread then why mention it? You could have started your own topic about ‘don’t leave your house.’ Please next time keep to topic. Also, the lady is waiting for answers, its not fair to start writing something so off topic.
ubiquitin, you just repeated what i said. whats the big deal?
lowerourtunition11210, You, who then?
lowercourtunition11210, It is a bigger Mitzvah to give money to someone you don’t know.
avreicha mshlomo, what Seforim is ‘other Seforim?’
Luckily Pesach 2020 the question doesn’t apply (even if you have to check your seat on the flight,) most people are not flying!!
What type of question is that? of course we are not okay with it, but what can we do about it?April 1, 2020 1:24 pm at 1:24 pm in reply to: Dvar Torah for Pesach (Seder) New hesber in eating Matzah and Ha Lachma Anya #1845728
aviaviavi, if you have any more then show it, the first one is amazing!!
I don’t see the connection.
lowerourt uition11210, why don’t you help him instead of just telling him to do it. maybe you start it off. if you don’t want to then at least give him a donation.
So do you say that the Moshiach is going to come and he is going to be the ‘vaccine’ for coronavirus?
So whats the conclusion? To cut a long story short, is America doing enough?
Rational, the lady asked and DC answered. whats the problem?
Thank you although i am still not convinced.
if you still stay in your porch then there is still a higher risk of catching covid 19 as you can sometimes can be nearer than 6 feet.
The exact opposite happened to us! our cleaning lady cancelled on us! she said some kind of excuse but we all know that it was because of the coronavirus.
The same thing doesn’t always work for everyone. sometimes you just have to face reality. if he is going off the Derech then you have to do something fast!
Thats amazing news!! then maybe i can go at 2am!
lightbritde, What type of puzzles are you suggesting?
Do you have any practical suggestions?
Just don’t get married!!