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In the past a woman without a husband was lost and could not earn a living so if you had for example an abusive or drunk husband you were basically stuck.
Divorce occurs because 2 people cant stand each other. In the secular world its generally over money instead of “granting divorce” . In the secular world an Agunah could never occur as Abandoment is grounds for divorce and if one party does not contest or even show up in court its given.
With Casino gambling legal almost everywhere Las Vegas had to re-invent itself and now over 50% of its revenues are from non-casino sources.
Atlantic City is also trying to reinvent itself the same. You actually need more activies than gambling to be successful.
The fact of the matter is Sullivan County is an economically depressed area and they need tax revenues and jobs there. At one time when the Borscht Belt was huge people would go, now only Charedi jews go there and then only for 2 months.
All the anti-casino arguments would hold true if it wasnt generally legal. But its legal most places now, might as well keep the jobs and tax revenue here
And BTW quite a few jews have made huge fortunes from Casinos Dr Irwin Moskowitz and Sheldon Adelson both of whom I think give alot of Tzedkah
One of my biggest critsicms today is people who say I dont want to associated my kids with THOSE kids because they are not like us
Aqueduct is accessible by Subway. its much easier to get to than Sullivan County who frankly needs the jobs. Its an economically depressed area
The casino in Aqueduct or Yonkers is very close to the jewish communities and Atlantic City is fairly close to Lakewood.
This law was not going to change that
Would Rabbi Brody say the same thing about Cancer? I douby many people fight cancer with Emunah
Well Mental Illness in many cases is a serious medical condition, If he says such a thing its clear he knows nothing about the topic
A little rebelliousness in teens is normal and healthy. Its a healthy part of growing up and beconming indenpendent from your parents.
The challenge is how to allow some rebelliousness but not let it get too far. Stifling rebelliousness can backfire so for some thats not really a healthy option.
Ive seen people drunk on Simchat Torah and Purim and Im sure if the Shulchan Aruch saw these people behaving this way it would have felt differently and these were Yeshiva boys whom I expected better.
It turned out had the amendment failed, Gambling would have spread anyway,but instead of casinos there would have been alot more VLT’s (Video Lottery Terminals) and Racinos downstate
How many lives are ruined from Alchohol?
We all know about Kiddish Clubs, Drunkeness on Simchat Torah and Purim
Should we ban Alcohol too?
DY : What would you call people who withold Gets?
They have table games at Empire Casino (Yonkers) and it too is one of the most profitable casionos in the US.
DY : I dont like gambling, but there is a differnce between playing the lottery and being at a casino. Its much more intersting at a casino
FYI : I got to chinese auctions frequently and many of them have the same atmosphere as a casino
DY, that was actually quite a good answer
What you did not say is sometimes “frumkite” can be abusive. Lets say someone doesnt like Gemorah and is forced to learn it (Dont say everyone loves learning its not true) and while being forced to learn he daydreams a bit and the Rebbe hits him. It is now has a real negative association
I know people who were forced to eat chulent on Shabbos. ive seen it myself, The kid didnt want to be Fleshig and the father forced the kid to eat it. I know many love Chulent, but forcing someone to eat something is not a good idea.
The most profitable casino in the US is the Racino at Aqueduct.
Ive been in Vegas, Atlantic City and Empire Casino (Yonkers) (Ive never been in Aqueduct) and I can tell you there is no difference. It all has the same feel.
I am arguing that for some it might be a solution, for others its not
Each person is different. Not everyone is cut out to learn in Lakewood or be a Satmar Chassid and some MO’s are cut out to be in lakewood or be a Satmar chassid. Each person is different.
Unfortunately having a BF/GF is practially asking for Issurei Kares. If my child came home with one, I would probably tell them they have to get engaged on the spot and married in 6 weeks or less.
And what if they refused , would you throw them out of the house?
Papa.
Not related, but if you want my opion of MO communities they are dying. They are dying because moderation is out and people are deciding to either be Charedi or Chiloni. Also the Charedi communmtiies are having alot more kids and are crowding out the more moderates leaving people no choice to stay.
Id say in about 50 years MO will be dead and the only jews left will be charedi communities
Its a choice, would you rather have less Jews but who are more committed or more jews some of whom are less committed.
We can discuss these things in the abscract what you think is better. But the reality is in life you will likely come into contact with such people and you will need to make decisions based on that.
If your Kid tells you he wants to listen to Rock Music and have a BF/GF but will keep Shabbos and Kosher will you disown him or give them mussar and perhaps drive them away or would you still love them and let them make those choices and be happy they are shomer shabbos.
Its not a big deal in fact it was already fairly easy to gamble
There are racinos already at Aqueduct and Yonkers raceway. And even if you wanted a more casino experience its only 2-2.5 hours to a full fledged casino in NJ,CT or PA.
And you can buy Lottery tickets or play numbers games on almost any corner
Its clear many dont get it, You should read the book by Faranak Margolese and she says many of the things here that people are ignoring.
There are things that might be assur in your community , maybe even assur according to most, maybe even a Daas Yachid who only holdit sBdived that it might be not assur.
And even if its its totally assur, Is it better to have someone 80% frum or 0% frum.
OTDers are willing to state things publically that people tend to whisper. You think things like too many Chumras only bother OTDers?
They bother people who are frum too and they talk about it quietly.
OTDers complain about Chinuch, we have all heard the whispers about the lousy chinuch.
You can moan and groan about people going OTD , or you can do something , and something is listening to Chizuk from them. They do have real criticms, some of it of course is sour grapes, but not all of it is and its not very hard to figure out which is sour grapes and which is real and needed critism.
Everyone wants to stop OTD, Everyone is coming up with ideas on why OTD occurs and now someone comes on and tells you why they went OTD people attacked the messenger. OTD will continue to occur as long as the messenger is attacked instead of the message.
Being Yeshivish is not the same as being just relgious if that makes sense. Its a lot more stricter
Id suggest finding a job as a babysitter or mothers helper in Lakewood in exchange for some room and board and hopefully get to see what life is really like. People do not talk about the bad only the good,Living with a bad you will get a complete picture.
Maybe you will like what you see and then you can join and marry a kollel guy,but maybe you wont and you can leave without any harm done.
You are young, and I dont care what anyone says, You dont need to get married NOW you can wait a year or 2. Learn about the life from the inside and not the outside looking in, The life is very different from the inside. If you like the life your bashert will be waiting for you.
The problem is if someone really does have emunah issues many times an anonymous forum is the only place to turn. Someone might have been ridiculed in the past for thinking that way.
But if your emunah is strong nothing anyone can say will change it.
Teachers was just a shortcut for anyone in OP’s life who influenced them
Be aware that in most cases the Father-in-law (Meaning Your father) is expected to pay for your husband to be able to learn in Kollel.
I know many people there (Lakewood) and they live in very tough poverty
Not trying to discourage here,but have you lived the Yeshivish Lifestyle for a time.
Its better to try to live that lifestyle BEFORE you get married than afterwards , have kids and realize it isnt for you.
I have heard of too many stories of people who went from secular and took on too much too fast and it all expolded when they couldnt hack it. The Yeshivish lifestyle is hard. Make sure you can hack it while you have a chance to make a choice.
Instead of blaming the CR,why not blame your teachers etc. Your emunah should be strong enough to overcome any anonymous poster on the internet
Real ones or the ones they make to scare you.
The ones they make to scare you are pretty cool
They are likely not Atheists but Agnostics. There is a big differnece.
I cant believe someone would reserect this thread
The Averiech lived in Israel, not the US
Yes he was unstable and it was exerserbated by religous frenzy. When you start calling everyone names like Amalek and sinners ete, for some people it gets to a point where nobody is a Tzaddik and even the Gadol HaDor is a Koifer.
People need to look at what they reap, what you reap, will sow and blossom.
There are Orthroprax Chassidim (even Satmar) and Yeshivish (In Lakewood) , It is not only in the MO community
Plenty of people meet other frum people and marry them in College
There are lots of Frum people at especially Brooklyn and Queens College.
Internet Rules Forbidden
Hashkafa very Pre-war Lithunanian, very strict on most things
I dont know freezer policy as I know the Kollel guys there not Bochrim
Tell them your parents can pay the tuition in full
The yeshivas do not hire rebbes based on merit, they hired based on Nepotism. Just because someone is the R’Y’s brother in law and maybe is even a gadol in his own right, does not make him an appropriate teacher for 12 year old boys.
Can your parents pay the tution?
Can you attend without causing and trouble?
Are you willing to accept our haskafah ?
If you answer yes to all, then you are good
Until people are willing to hear real criticisms and face those criticisms head on and work on them, the problem will continue and grow.
A simple example. Boys are now almost forced to learn 12-14 hours a day. Many boys just cannot do this, get frustrated , think they are a failure and drop out and the “Rebbes” are not equiped to handle boys who are not the best of the best, make the situation worse by punishing such boys for the simple crime of not understanding the Gemorah or wanting a little break.
You can look inside and you know many more such examples that dont need to be posted on this blog. Until we are willing to face them and find real solutions it will continue.
It doesnt matter what the Gemorah says, its illegal in the US to do that and this is one of those things where “freedom of religon” would never fly.
They were not doing it benevolatly. They were doing it as parnassah and charging alot for it.
You can buy a house in Upstate NY or Scranton, PA for $100,000
Move Kehilas to other communities where its cheaper like Upstate NY or Pennsylvania
I am asking if it was done, I have no idea. But if it was not it could have be done
Do they ever dedicate a sedar L’Nishmas someone?
They certainly could have dedicated a sedar or some hour of learning L’Nshmas Rav Yosef withou interupting any learning
The biggest problem IMO the collapse of non orthodox Judaism. The reality for many people Orthodox judaism isnt going to work (If it were people would be flocking to shuls, keeping Kosher, Shabbat, but they arent)
Charedism just isnt right for everyone, otherwise there wouldnt be OTDers. People dont leave if they are happy.
While there might be 1-4% of BT’s there are probably a similar number of OTDers so that probably cancels each other out.
A way must be figured out how to keep people who do not want to live the Charedi lifestyle in the fold
Too bad YWN doesnt have a “Like” Button.
Id Liked CTW in a heartbeat
every single one of us went through a stage where we were a rock, then a cow, and i dont kow the rest of the chain, but rest assured that it took a lot of pain and suffering for us to reach the point of being human.
That sounds alot like Hinduism
From Wikipedia Entry on Ponary (The Forest outside of Vilna)
The Ponary massacre or Paneriai massacre (Polish: zbrodnia w Ponarach) was the mass-murder of 100,000 people, mostly Jews and Polish intelligentsia, by German SD, SS and Lithuanian Nazi collaborators Sonderkommando collaborators (Special SD and German Security Police Squad Ypatingasis b?rys units) during World War II and the Holocaust in Reichskommissariat Ostland. The executions took place between July 1941 and August 1944 near the railway station of Paneriai (Polish: Ponary) – a suburb of Vilnius, Lithuania. Some 70,000 Jews were murdered in Ponary,[7] along with estimated 20,000 Poles[ and 8,000 Russians, many from nearby Vilnius.
Why does it bother you if Rav Chaim Ozer was wrong on this one issue.
It doesnt make him any less of a Gadol if he did not total understand what Hitler intended to do, Many people made that same mistake.
Would you respect him any less if he was wrong this one time. And he wasnt the only one. Many others gave similar bad advice.
Jews do not belive people are infallible, Only Catholics belive that.