Forum Replies Created
There may not an inyan to get an engagement ring, but there’s an inyan to be mesamach your kallah. We find by the avos when they “proposed” they brought huge sums of money as a dowry and additionally showered their kallah with jewelry. Similarly we can say today, the jewelry of the times is a diamond ring, which is used to be mesameach ones kallah and is definitely an old Jewish tradition.
@amiricanyeshivish, Yemenites had that first, sorry.
As for the OP, instead of being painted that ppl have a question on R’s Chaim, why aren’t you painted that R’s Chaim had foolish questions on the Rambam? Rav Ovadia had a great joke about R’s Chaim, goes like this:
In Yeshiva Shel Maalah Moshe Rabbeinu gives the main shiur, and Reb Chain would give a shiur after that (because his shiurim we’re fun and dessert like). After giving a masterfully done shiur on a stirah in Rambams this old Sephardic man walks over to Reb Chain and asked him if the Rambam was possibly referring to one Gemara here and another Gemara there and the context was different so no question? To which Reb Chaim turned to HKBH and asked “how did this Frank get into my shiur? And with these BaalHabatishe answers?!” (A jab at brisk that gives a hard time getting into the RY shiur) to which HKBH answered, “what can I do, he’s the mechaber of the Rambam”. Listen to some shiurim from Rav Ratzon Arussi, he’s an alta teimanishe Yid that has a real mesorah on learning Rambam without twisting things to the point they’re no longer the words of the author.
I’m not belittling, I’m just saying that I agree with a rishon that the whole thing is shtus. Additionally, as I mentioned the Chacham Tzvi held it’s a bad minhag hamevi leyidei kulah. (as Reb Eliezer mentioned the reason being because it causes more matzos to have to be cooked and are rushed thereby causing ppl to eat chametz. And yes this happens till today. I stopped buying chatzos matzah when I once bought a par-cooked matzah).
Yes I will be eating quinoa. But then again I agree with the Behag that the issur of kitniyos is a minhag Shel shtus, and I agree with the chacham tzvi that it’s a chumra hamevi leyidei Lilah and we should get rid of such nonsense.
Lav davka. First off you a Male or female? Male will be much easier.
If משה is spelled with a holom why do ppl say Moyshe?
Also, if it’s spelled שלש סעודות why do ppl say Shala Shudis? Besides, why are all three put into that one seudah? Whyaren’t we like our sephardic bretheren who say seudah shelishit?December 13, 2020 8:45 am at 8:45 am in reply to: Toiveling basic George Foreman without cord getting wet? #1928109
The best solution I can recommend is to watch a youtube video where they disassemble it, to a point where most ppl wouldn’t know how to put it back together, and then reassemble it. Even though the poskim say to bring it to an uman, that’s just so the average person wouldn’t be able to do that.
Yafter doing this you are halachically making the keli and no longer require tevilah. (This is a better solution than what @daasyochid suggests because by giving it to a goy many poskim still hold that you require tevilah if it will stay in a jew’s reshus long-term)
GH; again, after a simple Google search it appears that there is conflicting data. Some of the data provides evidence that women are more generous, and some of the data shows that men are more. More that how we think a reality is I believe it is important to look at the data provided. (Yes, I still believe this to be true even after the election polls).
A couple of points: (1) Firstly as I’ve commented on a different thread about a similar topic that quoted this gemara as well I find it absolutely foolish that this gemara is thrown around and taken out of context. Look at my previous comments to see the pshat I quoted on this gemara that shows how un-sexist this gemara is. (2) Sam Klein, I hear you, but this isn’t completely accurate. For example in my relationship my wife is much more reluctant to spend money than I am. A similar situation is with my father. However, in order to move away from anecdotal evidence I suggest you look at Moneycrasher’s article about Men, women, and money. It will give you a whole new perspective about the gender spending gap you speak of. (i.e. women seem to be spending much more than men, but that is largely because often-time they buy all the household needs. in contrast, when comparing the spending habits and patterns of single men and women, men spent a lot more on household needs and almost all other categories). (3) GH, in regards to your point that women are bigger tippers it’s not so simple. There appears to be a slew of conflicting evidence based studies. For example “Fifty-nine percent of men say they leave a tip that exceeds 15 percent of the bill, versus just 47 percent of women.” Idon’t want to argue too much with you about this because I doubt either of us are experts on these matters (unless you’re a social scientist, in which case I would honestly love if you can please enlighten me and possibly explain the contradictions). (4) Additionally @GH. In regards to this that you say that “women are as likely to to contribute to household income as men so the sexist notion that men are more reluctant to part with money because they work so hard to earn it is a bubba meisa.” I think SK can retort that research studies still suggest that in the majority of marriages (63%) men are the main breadwinners. Therefore it can still suggest why it would be that men are stingier than women based on his presumption. (Please note that I already disagreed with him, I am simply explaining a logical flaw in your argument).
@Reb Eliezer; You remind me of what shlomo hamelech said “ראית איש חכם בעיניו תקוה לכסיל ממנו”
Why would you post such a gemara? If you want you could have just posted the ending with the lions, not the part about women. Certain things should be kept in the bet medrash in order to prevent animosity towards religious judaism and our ancestors. It maybe true that the gemara says that (and yes, I know it’s a gemara daf 87A), but when you read the text inside you get a different “vibe” than from the way you iterated it. Also, see the chidush agadot (ibid.) that brings brings down from the Maharal M’Prague that explains that the reason why the gemara says that women are more reluctant to have guests has nothing to do with money and rather it is because they are the ones that work hard to prepare the meal and that it hurts them to see that many times their husband treats guests much better than he treats his own wife and that all she does is try to keep shalom bayit and it causes ill feelings.
There are a whole bunch. The question I have for you is what do you mean by “yeshivish”. I personally don’t consider myself yeshivish seeing how I listen to secular music (if it’s clean), and am open to the idea of watching a movie (but realistically who has time?). Others though do consider me yeshivish since I typically wear a white shirt every day, I learn even though I’m in med school, and haven’t missed a minyan in years.
Just a little more abt you would really help.
In any case I wish you much hatzlacha in the dating process, and even if you have a few not so great experiences don’t get discouraged.
Bneibarakobama: literally quoting what I was told. I definitely didn’t count that term. I have enough respect for a bas yisrael that I would hope that no Jewish girl will have to be desperate (especially openly) to get a date.
PracticalPost: the ones I’m thinking of in particular are from Flatbush and one of them is from 5towns. Be”h you’ll find the right one b’karov!
Alrighty everyone, I really appreciate the response from everyone, but this is honestly taking up more time than I initially thought it would. I will probably not be responding much. Hatzlacha to all of you in all of your endeavors!!!
CTLAWYER: wow. That’s all I could say. Seems like an extremely accomplished family. You must be very proud!!! May you and your wife be zoche to see your grandchildren follow in that path and built batim neemanim b’yisrael!!!
Mnb098: I was in pretty mainstream yeshivas, and a lot of guys I know who are now in kollel were ok with watching a movie. I’m not talking about watching mit in zman, I’m talking about outside of yeshiva during bein hazmanim. I may not have been clear: I don’t watch many movies, but hashkafically speaking I’m not anti, and I was always honest with shadchanim that way they would set me up with girls similar to me. Looking in retrospect it may have been a mistake, but BH it all worked out. (also, my main point was abt the working/in college aspect which seemed to have been the most common reason I was given why I would get a no or not get set up as often).
CTLawyer: very well said. I love that story about your daughter and SIL!!! And a nurse and lawyer?!?! Ambitious girl! Shep nachas!
First off thank you to all for your well wishes, I’m married for a year now, but just got triggered because of a conversation.
Syog lchochma: to answer your first question about what makes these girls less frum than me I’ll say it’s based on their overall attitude towards yiddishkeit (i.e. like those ppl that go on vacation to Miami and leave their yiddishkeit in Brooklyn. By yiddishkeit I mean a couple inches of material. Or their lack of respect to rabbonim, always thinking they know better. Even if that is true there’s a way of expressing it in a respectful manner).
As for your second comment about movies being a voluntary exposure to pritzus, etc, that may be true, but that’s not the point. I know many guys that are ok with watching movies and listen to music they would be embarrassed if their mother heard, but since they are in kollel for a few years it’s suddenly ok.
As for myself, yes I definitely have room to grow, and if I was perfect I would be sensitive to watching movies if a woman had short sleeves in it. Unfortunately in the world that we live in I see a lot worse on a daily basis so I don’t even realize it. I won’t watch a movie with much worse than what you see on a daily basis (besides, practically speaking who has time for movies? Last movie I watched was almost a year ago…) But yes, you’re definitely correct that I’m not perfect. But I’d like to think I’m on par with the average guy in yeshiva. (I was told many times that if I was in yeshiva full time with a plan on staying for a year or two the girls would break the door down, but I decided to wait for the girl that would accept me the way that I am, and I thank God I didn’t change my life plans).
MSL613: If by “if you know how to learn you don’t need it in the first instance” you mean that one won’t initially pull out an artscroll to learn, but if they come across a word they’re unfamiliar with, or are Stam having a difficult time understanding the sugya, then they’ll use it, then I agree with you and believe there to be no problem.
MrSarahLevine613: I don’t think OP has a problem with people who wouldn’t be learning otherwise to use an artscroll, OP mentions the word “bnei torah” and then mentions “bekiyus seder” therefore I’m assuming OP meant guys in yeshiva.
Akuperma: “Aramaic and Hebrew are closely related, similar to French and Spanish, or German and Yiddish. Hebrew is as different from English, as English is from Chinese or Navaho or Zulu.
If you are serious about learning Torah, learn Hebrew.”
Your logic is flawed. If your problem with learning from an artscroll is because it’s in English and therefore it takes away from the context of the original text (that’s how I’m understanding you) than how is any english speaker who only learns gemara till they’re a little older (5th grade) supposed to learn? How are you supposed to learn when you come across a new word? obviously your brain makes a translation into your native tongue. As for words that people have a hard time to translate because it becomes part of your gemara lingo (i.e. lechaora) artscroll has academic words for all of those. Besides you get both the aramaic and english with artscroll, it’s not like Soncino which is straight english.
That said: I still believe that one should learn in yeshiva from a standard gemara for reasons already mentioned here (i.e. with hard work comes greater analysis and understanding, and long-term memory, etc.) but if one comes across a word they aren’t familiar with it’s a great tool (Jastrow is quicker for words in my opinion, and mesivta is better for a sugya you’re truly having problems with).
I understand your point, but allow me to interject. Many dates are dismissed solely because of looks (of you have a problem with pictures then that’s a completely different discussion, in which I disagree with you), others because of what the parents are like (I myself was redt to girls who if you Google their names you will find news articles about,), some because the siblings aren’t religious (which as someone with modern cousins who educated me ata young age, I understand the concern), some because the girl comes from a broken home (in which case the boy may want someone who observed a healthy home to emulate), and yes others because of the financial state of the girl’s family. You may view this as materialistic, but instead why not view it as responsible? I personally am not pro most guys going to kollel, but assuming that one is, or that one is currently enrolled in college (especially if one plans on becoming a professional), the boy needs to feel some sort of financial certainty inorder to responsibly get married. In our society we marry off our children at such young ages it’s practically impossible for them to get married with enough money to support themselves.
I honestly think this is a seriously stupid thread, but here’s my thoughts; both sides have what to be jealous of each other if they wanted to be. Ashkenazim have been around in the tri-state area longer than sefardim and have established a much better educational system (still needs lots of help, but Darchei in far Rockaway is a heck of an institution) along with other great things. While Ashkenazim can be jealous of sefardim for the fact that they are a much closer knit community which basically acts like a large family, they are typically more chilled when it comes to stupid societal rules (i.e. only wearing white shirts, judging you on your yiddishkeit if you live too lavishly, etc.), And of course Deal in the summer is something to be jealous of lol. But what’s the point in being jealous? I find it better to just try and copy your peers if you see they did something and found success in it. End rant.
@milhouse: you’re probably right that there is no j sound in the Hebrew alef bet, but you’re also clearly uninformed in regards to the machloket in yemenite pronunciation. Jews from Sanaa (the capital) did pronounce the gimmel with a dagesh like a j in order to differentiate between that and the quf which they pronounce like Ashkenazim do the gimmel. But what many seem to not realize is that many yemenites (all Jews from sharab and other places as well) pronounced the gimmel with a dagesh like Ashkenazim do a reg gimmel and the quf is pronounced similar (but not exactly) like a Q.May 9, 2019 8:54 pm at 8:54 pm in reply to: Are women required to make brocha when saying on Hallel on YH? #1725206
First off I disagree with your position that if you say hallel without a bracha it’s just saying a few chapters of tehillim. Sefardim don’t say a bracha on hallel unless it’s hallel shalem, that’s including Rosh chodesh and other y”t that you say hallel. Additionally Rav Ovadia Yosef says to say hallel on Yom haatzmaut without a bracha but that one should skip tachanun. While the rabbanut of the time paskened to say with a bracha. However since it’s safek brachot lehakel Rav Ovadia says it’s better not to. But to say that it’s terrible is stupid.
As my friend’s grandfather who went through the camps and drives a Mercedes says, “they put us through a living hell, the least they can do is give us a decent car”.August 15, 2018 10:17 pm at 10:17 pm in reply to: If a pig was genetically modified to chew its cud, would it be kosher? #1574849
1st of all I’m meant that I’m a shochet #autocorrect
2nd, Git Meshige, the point is we’re saying that if you take the somatic cell of a pig, genetically modify it, and implant it into a surrogate kosher animal (let’s say a cow), and the cow gave birth to it, halachically speaking it’s a cow because kol hayotzei min hatahor tahor.August 15, 2018 9:36 pm at 9:36 pm in reply to: If a pig was genetically modified to chew its cud, would it be kosher? #1574762
Ok, so I actually dealt with this shailah extensively before. It actually is theoretically possible although it would cost millions of dollars. Once we perfect the reading of genetics (we’ll probably use AI for that) CRISPR will be able to do this. To answer the problem of lol hayotzei min hatamei you would be able to use a kosher animal as a surrogate mother. You would need to modify the genetics and make it chew it’s cud (and not just say kol hayotzei min hatahor) because shua says that if a kosher animal has a child that looks like a bird it’s taref, and the taz I believe (possibly the shach) says that it means if a kosher animal has a child that only has one of the simanei tahara. However, the only problem I did come across was a Ramban (vayikra 19:19) that says that the issur of kilayim by animals is that Hashem created a perfect world and therefore it’s assure for a human to act as God, because you’re showing witg your actions that you think the world isn’t perfect and it’s lacking. However, if a goy were to make the animal then it would be kosher. And in regards to mesorah, that is only by birds as others have commented.
(Credentials: I’m a shocker and have discussed it with multiple household name gedolim and they told me that in theory it would be mutar, but chances are it would never get a hashgacha)
The mishna in yoma (perek 3 mishna 11) has a list of a bunch of ppl that didn’t want to teach secrets in Torah and it says that on them you say “Shem reshaim yirkav” (the names of the evil shall rot). That’s on ppl that didn’t want to teach, Kal vachomer on a reform person spreading heresy and trying to take him away from learning!
As a certified shochet by Rabbi Moshe Heineman and someone who knows the politics in Israeli hashgachos let me wigh in. Firstly I’d like to say that practically all “hashgacha hock” you hear abt in israel is just politics. To give a small example, practically everyone eats Eida Chareidis, it’s viewed by many as one of the top if not the top hashgacha in Israel. A little while back (a few months ago) they discovered that the bodkim were not checking the knives properly there and they had chronic issues with pegimos. These are nicks in the knife which were extremely clear and according to ALL poskim this is 100% treif. I can keep listing cases but we’ll go on forever. Now in regards to Badatz Beit Yosef, I have personally seen plants with their mashgichim. In my opinion it was one of thr highest standards in kashrus. They were makpid on practically all treifos and they weren’t rushed and were told to do every thing benachas. They were makpid on botg chumros of sefardim and ashkenazim. In my opinion it’s just another politcal situation.February 20, 2018 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm in reply to: If you had one era to go back in time… where would it be? #1472935
Many meforshim argue on the Tiferes Yisrael (also quoted by the tosfos yom tov) and explain that it’s simply untrue. They bring a raiya from the fact that he illuminated light into the world when he was born before he was able to fight his yetzer hara, therefore if his true middos weren’t good that wouldn’t happen.February 20, 2018 12:07 pm at 12:07 pm in reply to: If you had one era to go back in time… where would it be? #1472755
If I were to go back to one point in history it would probably be 20-30 years ago that way I would know exactly which stock and companies to invest in, I’d become the first ever trillionaire, and would settle down and learn while taking all of klal yisrael out of poverty and living in the most comfortable era in history.
Easily one of the dumbest questions I’ve ever seen in the CR. There are people worth billions and people in debt who use cc and people worth billions and people who don’t approve for a card who use cash. I think OP is looking into this too much and it would be a lot healthier to just relax and pay however you want. My personal preference is cc because it’s less bulky, dont have to worry abt change, girl doesn’t have to see how much I’m tipping (whether high or low), etc. But again, it’s all personal preference and I doubt ppl will judge. And yes I’m from Flatbush and even there we don’t judge abt such stupidity (although we do judge when such questions are asked lol)
Just because the dvar avraham is cholek doesn’t suddenly make something pritzus. Look at history, look at plain Halacha, you can’t say it’s pritzus. You can say that it’s probably not the healthiest thing for a marriage these days. (I know my wife would kill me if I even mentioned a havah amina lol) but to say it’s pritzus doesn’t make sense to me.
@Rashbijr I don’t understand why you think having multiple wives is a pritzus issue. Are you so unlearned that you don’t know one of R’ Yaakov Emden’s most famous tshuvos about having a pilegesh? He says that he feels it’s a great thing and that it’ll save a person from chet. Problem with the world today is ppl got too yeshivish… he was a boss.