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I have Rabbeinu Nissim on Nedarim. If you want, after Tisha B’av I can check for you. Shabbos for me is starting soon. I’ll check if the Master a Mesechta also speaks of it.
Squeak…
It’s from the books of the Chofetz Chaim. I think, Chofetz Chaim Lesson A Day. But there are other seforim mentioning this.
Foolish schools. They waste time on poetry and essays. They don’t mention this. People should be advised, each time you speak to someone essentially you are judging yourself!
I didn’t consider the health side. Fair enough, I concede my points.
If your odour is bothering people just shower, for goodness sake.
This restriction only works when everyone around you is also doing it.
Cats have milk. What are you talking about? They can lick water too.
Some people think they are frum.
Some people dress like frum.
You will find the ones who are particular and strict are the least frum in the reckoning.
As the Chofetz Chaim says: the malachim judge you the way you judge others. If you are particular and hard with others, they will be the same to you. And since those sorts of frum people don’t seem to know that, more fool them.
Who knows whether Eliyahu Hanavi or Yaakov Aveinu is one of those hatless people in shule?
And yeah, I don’t wear a hat when praying. Who cares. What matters is speech and subduing anger – hat is a pale comparison. Ha.
Hashem’s mercy is on all creatures. From Tehillim.
You think they chose your yard by chance? Nothing happens without Heavenly oversight.
You have a rare opportunity. Give them a bowel of milk in the morning. It might even be part of your tikkun.
You don’t have to look after them officially, but a bit of milk in the morning can save you from heavy judgement later. You are very lucky.
What the Vilna Gaon said quoted above is amazing! I must think on this further…
In the book A Path for Life, a collection of wisdom from many Chassidic Rebbeim, it said not to let your legs touch the ground before netilat or impurity will follow you around the rest of the day.
It’s tricky, but do-able.
That’s right. Do-able. It’s a semi-legitimate word.
The Chofetz Chaim.
He gives a parable of two brothers sitting at a table with their father. Suddenly one brother reaches over and takes the other’s plate. Rather than add wood to the fire, the brother goes to the father at the head of the table.
Father, you saw what my brother did to me. I’m it would upset you to see us dispute which is why I am asking you to quietly reimburse me.
The father was so happy, he said not only would he give a new plate of food, he would give an even better one.
Forbidden short sleeved shirts?
Guess they’ve never cooked food by a hotplate in summer for customers before without fan or air con! As a kashrut mashgiach I most definitely wear short sleeves in a hot kitchen.
I don’t have a car and sometimes my date drives to me. It’s practical. Travelling 2 hrs to meet her there is not.
However … the parent generation are very much old fashion and become furious when the man does not pick their daughter up from their place “like they should.”
They don’t get it.
If i can add my prutah to this discussion…
Monday was originally a homage to the moon, the sun for sunday. Today, nobody gives a garden of fig trees, it’s just a day name for everyone. Can that be applied to today’s hat style?
Moreover, the streimels that are worn come from eastern europe and lots of cossacks, polish and russian commoners and others wore thosr furry hats.
I don’t believe the origin has meaning. The intent of the yid wearing is their own.
When hair recedes bangs are not an issue. Ha.
Chabad is not Ashkanazi. The siddur and minhagim differ noticeably enough.
I never spit during Aleinu. It’s a disgusting thing to do.
As for using present tense for the Rebbe … There are numerous stories of the Rebbe helping his people even decades after his petira, so yes, very much present tense. We are very lucky he watches over us in our time of need.
If one has never had a “Rebbe experience” you will not understand.
The Chazon Ish had his hands washed from when he was a month old I read
Also remember, respectfully, late prayers are for people who don’t necessaily work in the outside world. They have the time. For the rest of us, it’s the “7am minyan.”
Knowing the parents well is very important, yes. The Talmud is abundant with advice. And her personality can closely resemble her brother, maternal uncle or father. I think what I meant to say was where you date. Some communities make a big deal to go far away from observation, to have friends along, etc. what I meant was, just take her somewhere nice, who cares if you are seen out on a date. Bring some kosher lunchband talk what’s important to you.
And oh yes – watch the parents well.
I just remembered, there is a publication talking beards from various nusach rabbonim. Don’t know the exact name. Haven’t read it, but worth looking up.
Well, at least I gave a decent answer…
The Me’am Lo’ez cannot overstress enough the benefit and importance of saying the korbanos and ketores. Indeed, the Ben Ish Chai lists 13 benefits of saying it. Well worth the extra 10-15 mins!
People are only posting half a thought. I move either for proper discussion, or thread closure. There’s too mch misleading info in just the first few contributors.
For eg, the Chabad custom permits breakfast before shacharis – if you won’t concentrate on tefilla from hunger. Of course, you would be saying the preliminary berachos before. And bear in mind as well, our generation is weak – weaker than earlier ones. There are many many facests to the equation.
And furthermore, the Rebbe of Rimanov has some interesting chiddushei Torah on the Jews gathering monn in the desert before davening. Please read it to gain a deeper insight.
I disagree. I think people make a big deal out of dating procedures. Better to be makpid for family purity, no tv, kashrus, hair covering, and long skirt.
I protest. Someone was surprised a Chabad site quotes Rabbi Feinstein…?
You live a very sheltered life.
My Chabad shule quotes the Steipler Gaon. I know an Ashkanazi haredi who frequently quotes the Ben Ish Chai.
The chabad vs ashkanazi vs sefardi mentality ended eons ago.
Myself, a Chabad, I know more stores of the Steipler Gaon’s life and halachic responsa of Rabbi Feinstein than ashkanazis. I remember their astonishment. Quite funny, actually.
The old division was a waste of time. Are there separate sections in Gan Edan for sefardi and ashkanazi speakers?
Same ocean. Different boat. Ha!
Can we organise a petition to get the Chofetz Chaim publishers to translate Tiferes Adam?
To point out, the holy Maharil Diskin and the Baba Sali were strongly against trimming or shaving.
Depends how long you know the other person. I know someone who proposed after 2 weeks.
If you live in different cities you’re going to marry a stranger. How often can you meet? You’ll have a skype relationship. There is a big issue with shidduchim now because we are so spread out and far away. We no longer live so close. Besides, from 1840 the masters have said we are all flawed souls and have issues from past lives.
There’s no reason you can’t go to uni and have a professional education. It’s all well and good to say live in a little… but not when the weekly rent is huge. And you need to live close to your shule, which is in the nicer suburbs, and costs more, right?
The important thing is to maintain shmiras halashon and even more importantly, shmiras eynaim, because the women will be underdressed there. But then… should you live as a hermit?
Didn’t the Rebbe attend engineering in berlin uni during the ’30?
Not every Jew has to be a fiddler or taylor. The expenses of basic necessities requires a good income. This, unfortunately, is the times we live in. In previous generations, we were all poor. I think on a good day, R. Aurebach had a whole boiled egg to share with his three brothers.
How much below the knee?
It should be way past the knee. Read the Chofetz Chaim’s Geder Olam. Knee length is not acceptable to me. I’m particular because I know what the mystical texts have to say on modesty… Blessed are those men who are married to a wife who’s skirt is to the ankles. Know they have received a great gift! Treat her as the diamond she is!
Sigh… Does no one read the Tanach? Don’t we learn from the Book of Kings – Chizkiyahu Hamelech Hatzadik – not to show off your treasures? To be quiet and discreet. The Chassan’s or kalla’s pic is no one’s business other than each other’s.
You think I am chumra? Makpid? Whatever I said is the societal norm.
The Talmud says those who marry for money will have unworthy children. Money should not be any consideration in a shidduch. Anything could happen at any moment – the poor could earn their merit and become wealthy. The rich could lose what they have. Don’t the gedolim warm not to rejoice too much – who knows what your aveiras could cause to happen next week.
Speaking of which, are you mad?
This $400k dollar marriage startup, were you joking? Were you serious? You would spend a vast fortune like that? There is a man in my community who can’t work a job. He’s starving for food each week. You can see he is a reincarnation and that’s his punishment – might have been a slanderer or arrogant last lifetime. But now, he is completely and utterly dependent on people’s charity. And I heard he’s doing chemo now so where is he going to eat?
And you would spend hundreds of thousands. Please tell me you were only joking….
If not… They say the test of wealth is harder than the test of poverty.
As for the son of a Rosh Yeshiva, well… so what. You don’t know what favour a simple unassuming man has in the regard of Heaven. Appearances are nothing. I have seen Torah scholars with shirts tucked out, or putting a chumash under a siddur, or flicking a sefer closed instead of gently closing it. And I have seen women in mini pants asking when a meat dinner is because she had pizza for lunch.
The best to look for is not necessarily education but middos – does he offer hospitality, does he have anger inside him or is he quick to forgive? These are a man inside his heart. Knowledge and familial connection are external and superficial.
And what’s this RUBBISH about showing off a pic to the family?! Gossip? Talking about someone behind their back? The Chofetz Chaim has volumes to say about that. Are those women bored with their time? The conversation will be banal and devarim bateilim. Empty talk.
And of course you give the dating man a pic of the lady. They swap pics of each other. That’s normal.
This topic question doesn’t make sense.
Ashkanazi, sephardi, chabad — same ocean, different boat.
I know a nearby place that has all three shules in one building.
I have seen charedi ashkanazis impressed with some chassidic rebbe’s Torah discourses they read.
The ashkanazi vs sephardi and ashkanazi vs chabad is old cobweb from our parent’s and grandparent’s days. Kids today don’t give a garden of fig trees what you are.
I know plenty of sephardi/ashkanazi couples. Chabad/ger tzedek couples. etc
It traditionally goes by the husband – women only do a fraction of the requirements men do. What does it matter if they have a sephardi accent from india if their husband and kids went to a chabad school?
And finally, it doesn’t matter what you are. If both parents are sephardi and the only proper religious school is a chabad one —> your children will grow up chabad. It’s what school they go to, what fridnds they hang out with.
I don’t know if it’s too late to add a reply. But the simple and easiest answer is read Geder Olam by the Chofetz Chaim. It’s a small and quick read unlike others.
Then decide if you want mix seating at wedding.
It really has nothing to do with the boat on the water. You have to look at the submarine beneath the waves…
We don’t know what we have done in our past lives. From 5600 / 1840 the Rebbe of Ruhzin and other great names have said we are now all flawed souls. We carry heavy baggage from our past lifetimes. Some meet easy, some take longer. Some don’t need to marry. The Heavenly Court watches out every move. We can try to correct ourselves – or they’ll do it for us.
Add the fact that the angel who calls out matches for soulmates doesn’t always get the right one, right away. If he calls out several names until the Court consents, it means the man has to meet them all first.
Don’t despair. They are guiding you where you need to be.
The third side of this triangle is us. We stuff up. We sin. We pay for it. We are SUPPOSED to meet easily – if we don’t we have only ourselves to blame. The External Forces get in the way. Ask me no more on that.
So show the Heavenly Court you are sorry. Help the unwell. Don’t just put coins in a box which probably sits there for months. Secretly send food hampers to the needy. Pray for someone else. Make an impression. And remember – you’ve got part of your last life’s soul in you, causing all this. Help him.
And read the books of the Chofetz Chaim – he tells you have to make a heavy impression. Show people how to speak properly – you will straighten all your roads…