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Have you tried yapchuk?
Shopping, you MUST answer! If you don’t want to answer then you need to find a thread that isn’t mandatory to answer!
BTW, mine favorite food is def sweet and sour salmon.
What’s yours, pixelate? EVERYONE must answer!
I noticed someone with a bumper sticker, that was the title of this thread. Who was that???? I laughed so hard I almost rear ended you!
Hey, Goq! I agree with all the kind posters! It’s a good idea to hang around nice people, they will always be a true window into who you are. Mean people will just project themselves, and show you how they feel about themselves.
Can you be more specific about your issue? Have you ever considered working with a therapist to improve your social skills? It might be a worthwhile investment, where it can improve your earning capabilities exponentially!
I feel uncomfortable with thread title. Couldn’t it be ‘correction for a popular misconception’? Why do you feel a need to have us all feel that our teachers were lousy?
apushatayid: do you really want Obama without Congress???
It all depends; what kind of life do you want? First answer that deep philosophical question, and then get one!
A two door car sports car and a four door sedan had a race. Who won? The two door; two door veshe’aino two door, two door kodem!
I knew I was fat before!
It’s an honor to know that you’re thinking of me… keep up the good work! I’m not even gonna tell you what comes next, hopefully you’ll still have me in your thoughts!
Is there a particular situation in where your child misbehaves, or does the child just not listen? Can you be more specific in your issue? You don’t have to share your answer with the CR, but you do need to know the answer for yourself.
You should have a mechanech that you can discuss your chinuch issues with. You need to give positive reinforcement in a much larger proportion than negative. That means, that you should reward positive behavior, much more often than you would punish negative behaviors. Chazal say the left hand pushes away and the right one (the stronger one)brings closer.
My favorite book for chinuch is Make Me Don’t Break Me, by R. Moshe Gans. To be honest I haven’t read all the new books, but trust me, it’s a classic.
Why are we apologizing for chinuch? Or parenting? Of course it’s our responsibility to teach our children/students! Yes, and when a kids bentches nicely, we should reward him! Or, as the OP says, praise him! And when a child doesn’t want to go to sleep at night, yes, make a chart for every night he goes to sleep on time he gets a smiley and ten smileys is a prize.
I agree with akuperma; when I hear about divorce I assume that it’s mainly one person’s fault, with the other one being unable to deal with the issues of the main partner’s faults.
Why do men remarry quicker? I would give many reasons. Main one is that the wife gets the children, and most men prefer not to have children from a previous marriage in their house (not all, from what I know of).
You can listen to Rebee Hill’s cd about THE STORY OF AKDAMOS.
You’re wife is pregnant. She isn’t showing any interest in cleaning the house. Maybe ask her why.
Either she will explain to you that she physically feels lousy, fatigued, lethargic etc.
Or she will explain to you that she is mildly depressed.
I understand that you don’t feel that your marriage at this point is 50/50. It usually isn’t. Marriage is 90/90 (alter Novominsker Rebbetzin). When everybody gives 90% of what they have, then it’s a successful marriage. Give in, give in and give in. There will be a time that you will receive more than you deserve as well.
How far off is your graduation? For how long would you date? Can you work p/t while in college? How well to do are your parents and would they support? It’s unfair to give the rabbi a bad rap when you haven’t filled us in on the details.
Cooking and baking are fun! It takes some experience; I recommend going to a friend or relative and learning the basics. The better you get at it the more you’ll enjoy it. We all mess up sometimes. In all areas of life! Just brush yourself up and bounce back.
BTW, I have a great rav who I discuss my shalom bayis with. I get great advice and it has saved my shalom bayis on various occasions (usually he tells me to give in!). I highly recommend a rav or mentor to discuss future issues with.
BTW, I agree with your basic premise. Why do women need someone else to vacuum, mop, etc.? especially if they’re not working outside the home? But, if that’s their expectation going in, if that’s what they are used to seeing by your shvigger, then you need to accommodate it.
Good luck. Don’t forget that giving in keeps the Shechina in your home! What more can you ask for!
I think that people are being a little rough on you, but basically have the right idea.
There are important items and unimportant. You seem to be having a lot of unimportant battles. Let them go. It’s not fun to always lose, but if you put your foot down on only the important ones, you can say that hey, all the other ones I gave in, but this one is really important to me.
My own Shalom Bayis is pretty simple, whoever feels stronger about an issue the other one usually gives in. If I want something, but my wife reeaaaaaaaly doesn’t, I will give in. Same goes the other way.
R. Pichus Scheinberg ZT’L told a friend of mine that it’s brought down in the Ben Ish Chai.
Little Kite, Journeys
An addiction is when a person’s body is dependent on something. It’s extremely hard to stop; most people can’t without a 12 step program.
Your father will not admit to his problem and stop unless you help him. Don’t be an enabler. Don’t let him continue his addiction. Do anything you can; make sure that he has no access to his finances, tell him that you need money etc.
I’m sure that if you tell your principal or teacher, then it won’t be on the news. However, if you leave him be, he will probable go bankrupt, or worse and his name will be besmirched.
I beg you, please, tell someone. You can. Choose life! ????? ?????.
Your father needs your help. Secretly, he wishes that someone will help him. It’s up to you. DO IT! DON’T SAY YOU CAN’T!
Option 1. yitty leibel help line-718.help now
Option 2. It’s important that your school understand your situation. As much as it pains you to tell them, it’s more painful to keep it inside. Please, find a teacher or principal and tell them.
You say you can’t do this much longer; not telling anyone isn’t making it easier on you. At this point you need to take care of yourself, irrespective of how it will affect your father. I don’t ask to be in your shoes, but understand that we each have our issues. Hashem expects us to take care of ourselves; you need to take care of yourself.
You also need to understand that your father won’t stop unless he hits rock bottom. You need to make that happen asap. It will only get worse and people will find out then. I implore you, tell someone who can help you.
He trusts you to take care of yourself, please, don’t put your father’s reputation ahead of your own emotional well being.
ikno, you sound like a talented and dedicated teacher! We are lucky to have you in chinuch!
R. Brezak has a great story of a Rebbe who told a child, “I don’t care how much trouble you make, I will love you anyway.”
A similar story is with a rebbe who went to visit a child’s house at night and told him, I heard that you have a great stamp collection. Can I see it?
Point I’m trying to make: Can you give her some special attention? Can you find something that she’s good at and give it as a class project, with parents/principals/other classes coming to see it?
Good luck, and once again we’re lucky to have such talented and dedicated teachers teaching our daughters and sisters!
I’m lost. How would you publicly prod someone who holds of the eruv? Would the prodder be allowed to bring the prodder outside to prod? Or would we only use a prodder who uses the eruv, who in turn would be prodded by a fellow eruv user who would then need to be prodded!
Why are you asking, did the scarecrow take your brain?
Section 8 raises the demand for housing. The more people who can afford to live in Brooklyn, the higher the cost is (laws of supply and demand). I think that if we get rid of Section 8, or better yet, limit it to areas of new growth opportunities, the price of housing in NYC would fall.
Einhorn
Glick
rt: And I think that all liberals, need to go. Then Congress won’t be involved in destroying our democracy!
Brachs on 13th ave. ABC discount on 15 and 42.
There are def people out there who care that the family should look exactly like their own. I would put them as a minority. BTW, would you be interested in somebody that closed minded? I wouldn’t!
You sound like a amazing person, good luck!
Dear Chosson,
I will begin to bore you with this letter, as a prologue to long boring conversations we will have, with me talking and having a conversation and you listening. I said it, you listening. What did I say? Good, I see you’re listening.
Anyway, I was sitting today with Rochel and Chaya and she said that the other one should have said, but it was really nebby so she didn’t say and I was really happy about it and then I left and was wondering if I should’ve been happy because it was really nebby.
For lunch today I had ______ and it was really good. I like to have _______ for lunch because it’s healthy and cheap. Be prepared to have plenty of cheap and healthy food in the house.
I’m in middle of deciding what kind of tablecloth to buy, but I’m sure that whatever my mother picks out I’ll say is my favorite.
Did I ever tell you how much I like flowers? I wasn’t going to tell you but my mother warned me that she can’t be the one to tell you because that’s mixing in, so I have to tell you.
I’m really happy we had this conversation and I look forward to many, many more meaningful and enjoyable conversations.
Love (and make sure that when you write back you sign love, it means so much to me… and I’m saying that because I really mean it and not because my mother told me to),
your most admiring person in the whole wide world!! I can’t wait to be married to you!!!!
Ted Cruz when he finished his long speech… he NEEDED TO GO.
From Wikipedia:
In 1996, Rosa saw a video of Therapeutic Touch (TT) practitioners claiming they could feel a “Human Energy Field” (HEF) emanating from a human body and could use their hands to manipulate the HEF in order to diagnose and treat disease. She heard Dolores Krieger, the co-inventor of Therapeutic Touch, claim that everyone had the ability to feel the HEF, and Rosa heard other nurses say the HEF felt to them “warm as Jell-O” and “tactile as taffy.” Rosa was impressed by how certain these nurses were about their abilities. She said, “I wanted to see if they really could feel something.”[1]
Using a standard science fair display board, Rosa devised a single-blind protocol, later described by other scientists as “simple and elegant,” for a study she conducted at age nine for her 4th grade science fair. There were two series of tests. In 1996, 15 practitioners were tested at their home or office on different days over a period of several months. In 1997, 13 practitioners, including 7 from the first series, were tested on a single day. The second series was observed and videotaped by the producers of Scientific American Frontiers. Stephen Barrett, MD, of Quackwatch helped Rosa, her mother (Linda Rosa, RN), and stepfather (Larry Sarner) write up the experiment for JAMA. The study was published April 1, 1998. George Lundberg, editor of JAMA, aware of the uniqueness of the situation, said: “Age doesn’t matter. It’s good science that matters, and this is good science”.[2]
The study tested the ability of 21 TT practitioners to detect the HEF or “aura” when they were not looking. Rosa asked each of the practitioners to sit at a table and extend their hands through a screen. On the other side of the screen, Rosa randomly selected which of the TT practitioner’s hands she would hold her hand over. The TT practitioners were then asked which of their hands detected Rosa’s HEF. Subjects were each given ten tries, but they correctly located Rosa’s hand an average of only 4.4 times. Some subjects were asked before testing to examine Rosa’s hands and select which of her hands they thought produced the strongest HEF. Rosa then used that hand during the experiment, but those subjects performed no better. The results showed that TT practitioners could not detect the hand more often than chance, and Rosa et al therefore concluded that there was no empirical basis to the HEF and by extension therapeutic touch.
You say that you would like to “come clean.” That’s an expression commonly used for people who have done something wrong. What are your feelings about going OTD? Are you uncomfortable with yourself?
I can say that I disagree with Popa, you probably have great parents and it’s okay to not want to tell them something that would hurt their feelings.
Can you find a middle ground, where you keep kosher and Shabbos (or at least some parts of Shabbos)? You would be able to be comfortable with where you are, yet you wouldn’t feel a need to tell your parents anything as you are still keeping the faith. Good luck with your decision.
You have my sympathy. It’s not easy growing up in a community where you don’t find the level of religion meets your needs.
My experience with Orthodox black hatters is that they need time to get to know someone. Once they befriend you, it will be a close friendship. Take the time to let someone get to know you, and your opinion will change.
It’s heartwarming to hear you say that you love Jews and you love being Jewish. Best of luck.
If my spouse makes supper/brings home a paycheck/does housework/helps with the kids, I will thank him/her.
It seems like you bite your nails, maybe b/c of anxiety, but instead of asking for help, you want to know if you should feel anxious about the repercussions for it!
Try to find some time to relax, either deep breathing, exercise, or a hobby. Definitely take a walk on shabbos, where you can relax your mind and stay off your nail biting.
I hope that it’s therapeutic for you to air your question in the cr; I also hope that you are not constantly concerned with the hot place. While it’s important to know, learn and remember schar veonesh, it’s unhealthy to live a life of anxiety based on it. Instead focus on ahavas Hashem, how you are trying to break a bad habit because you love Hashem and are trying to please Him.
oomis, a kugel without eggs? try onion kugel. It’s a big hit whenever I make it!
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/onion-kugel#post-254946 I use kapusta’s second recipe. Good luck!
Wolf: The close relatives, i.e. mother sister etc. don’t have an issur ervah as there is no yetzer hora for them. A cousin has the halacha like a regular girl, where (as I understood my rav) you can ask your neighbor for a cup of flour, you can ask your cousin how she is. Shmoozing with a cousin is like shmoozing with anyone else and has the same halachos.
I’m with notasheep. When I was young I had a phenomenal memory, now it’s completely lost. Everything needs to be put into my phone, or it’s forgotten!
I actually discussed this with my rav when I was single. His psak was that it’s okay to say hello and how are you, but not to have a long conversation.
Yes, eclipse. Your comment wasn’t up yet when I posted. BTW, you have my sympathies. And unfortunately, we view ourselves by how others view us. Make sure to surround yourself with friends who appreciate your value.
Definitely. Now we need a discussion about what that means? Taking better care of our spouse and family? A better relationship with G-d? More quality time with our parents?
I guess I just take it for granted that a bas yisroel dressing like a bas yisroel is a basic, like kashrus and shabbos. Do you disagree?
I agree with your basic premises. An orthodox single shouldn’t have to learn about Freud (As a married person, I didn’t particularly enjoy it either!)
That being said, we do have a responsibility to learn a trade. If a person can do it without college, great! I personally tried and failed. I then went to college and love what I do (and earn a living).
Hashem’s name was erased as well in that case. Are you implying that if a spouse wants you to erase His name that you may do it for shalom bayis?? Definitely not!
You need to differentiate between basic shalom bayis (everyone smiling) to extreme cases, where a rav might guide you to disregard issurim/tznius. But don’t come home at night livid that supper isn’t ready, and then give up your basics of yiddishkeit!
How about a beer with cholent? And a piece of overnight kugel? You can eat AND drink away a bad date! Don’t forget some chocolate for dessert, bad dates must get chocolate…
Here’s my recommendation (although I doubt you will accept it); take the first job offer you get. If you finished your education I imagine that you are good at it. Your second job you can be picky about. Look for something that will use your degree but something that you enjoy… or while you are working you can go to school for something else.
good luck