Joseph

Jothar, I hope you don’t look at Gedolei Yisroel Shlita, especially so many of them together, c’v as bumbling fools who can be “forced” or fooled. The single Godol’s foresight is better than your hindsight; al achas kama v’kama the collective Gedolim’s foresight about what they put their signature to…

I said not keen.

ames, where does that minhug stem from?

Pina colada

Coke’s hechsher, unless they changed it, is etched on top of the cans and printed on the label of the bottles.

squeak, how do the Chasidishe Yeshiva’s have (relatively speaking) dirt cheap tuition rates? Even Chaim Berlin’s (etc.) “rack rates” are below your assumptions.

The Federation and ZOA are not very keen on supporting a Chareidi institution.

squeak, you must’ve been very free that Purim…

squeak – how ’bout yourself?

cantoresq – your assumptions are completely misguided.

ames – “gut gefregt” effectively means good question! (with the exclamation point.) 🙂

Jothar, The Baalei Batim are not Bnei Torah in your town?

39, Are you stating YWN is now monitoring the accuracy of all posts, and will only post after verification (and hence the readership can rely on the good faith efforts of the mods)?

I really wish I was, but, unfortunately, I will take your word for it when you quote a tur or some other miforesh. (In other words, no Joseph, I did not say that!)

The blatant ones (lies/misquotes) don’t get published. TRUST ME, YOU SHOULD SEE THE TRASH WE TRASH . Man power and time limit us in this endeavor (side point, this is why longer posts take longer to get approved). There is a reason, though, for why we the policy of the mods is to either delete, or “leave for another mod” those things you question whether or not they belong on The Yeshiva World .

YW Moderator-39

Open Book, Colonel Moish will assign you a title.

Affirmed!

signed, Joseph

King of the CR

TJ, If someone asked you to call them on Shabbos, and you telling them sorry I can’t do that would embarrass them for asking, would you be mechalel shabbos to prevent their embarrassment? Or if someone offered you non-kosher food and refusing would embarrass them, would you eat treif? You cannot be oiver an issur (especially d’oraisa) to avoid embarassing someone – no in these examples and not in negiah. Especially not for a nochri.

TJ, Actually you are incorrect regarding Reb Yaakov paskening it permissable to shake hands to avoid embarasement. In the mekor provided, Reb Yaakov states “Regarding returning a handshake to women when they extend their hand first in greeting, not in an affectionate manner, this is a very serious question and it is difficult to be lenient.” Reb Yaakov goes on to state that in a situation where there will cause embarasement, it requires further study whether it is permissable to be lenient or not. He never paskened one may be lenient in such a situation.

There is two prohibitions about this: 1) The Torah commanded to avoid all women with the status of nidah (Vayikra 18:19). and 2) It might lead to improper thoughts, which are prohibited (Kesuvos 46a; Shulhan Aruch, Even Haezer 23:3).

Reb Moshe, multiple times in the Igros Moshe, is very clear that it is assur:

1) EH I #56 page 144

“Concerning that which you saw people being lenient even those who are

yirei shamayim – to offer their hand to a woman when she stuck her hand

out. Perhaps they reasoned that this is not derech chibah and taavah –

but l’maaseh this is difficult to rely on.”

2) OC I 113 page 177

“To offer one’s hand to a woman in the manner of those greeting others

upon meeting. It is pashut that it is prohibited even for an unmarried

woman since they are niddah and surely it is prohibited for a married

woman”.

3) EH IV 32.9 page 76

“To offer one’s hand to a woman in the manner of those greeting others

upon meeting. It is definitely pashut that it is prohibited as I have

written OC I 113. That is because one needs to be concerned for the issue

of derech chibah and taavah. But I wrote in EH I #56…that one is to

dan l’kaf zechus those who are relying that it is not derech chibah and

taavah to shake hands. But there I wrote that l’maashe it is difficult

to rely on this. Furthermore I don’t see any inconsistency at all with

that which I permitted a person to travel on a bus because there –

there is basically no issue of chibah.”

Even if it causes embarassement it is assur according to Reb Moshe (see Halichos Bas Yisrael, vol. I, p. 110 n.33) and Nine to Five – A Guide to Modest Conduct for Today’s Workplace by Rav Shmuel Neiman, p.14 (“it has been rumored that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, ruled that it is permissible for men and women to shake hands. Nothing could be further from the truth! In his responsa, he agonized over this unacceptable practice and repeatedly stated that it is forbidden and infringes on giluy arayos”).

The Chazon Ish stated [re: a man shaking a woman’s hand who is not his spouse, his mother, his daughter, or his granddaughter] [p.p. 130-131])

A Yeshiva student from England refused to shake hands with his step-mother when greeting her. His father was extremely upset with his refusal. He demanded his son display “derech eretz” towards his step-mother and shake her hand. The son refused stating he was taught it was impermissable with a non close blood relative. This affected the fathers relationship with the son. Some family members told the son to give in al sholom bayis. The son asked a shaila from the Chazon Ish. The Chazon Ish responded with a short and sharp answer – “Chok V’lo Yaavor, Issur Gamur” (It is a prohibition that one dare not violate; It is absolutely forbidden,) Violating this halacha was out of the question despite sholom bayis and kibud av. (Oz Vehadar, p. 494).

Its also paskened assur in Responsa Be’er Moshe 4:130, and the Od Yosef Chai (by the Gaon Ben Ish Chai zt’l) Shoftim #22 where they rule it is totally assur. The Sefer Chassidim # 1090 writes one should not shake hands even if the person of the opposite gender is not Jewish.

Rav Shmuel Neiman, in Nine to Five: A Guide to Modest Conduct for Today’s Workplace writes regarding male-female interaction in the workplace:

It is forbidden to make small talk about matters unrelated to business. Men and women working together should not discuss politics, current events, recent tragedies or gossip, even if they do not do so regularly. Discussing these matters on a daily basis, is a violation of halachos that border on giluy arayos, which requires one to sacrifice his life rather than transgress. (p. 9)

When conversing with female employees or co-workers, one must be careful not to us the word “we,” so that the man and woman are not referred to as one unit. For example, one should not say, “We must talk with the editor,” or “We must purchase that software program.” Rather, he should say, “The editor must be consulted,” or “Please purchase that program.” (pp. 10-11)

It is a custom amongst yirei shomayim not to call a woman other than one’s wife or immediate family member by her first name, thus keeping a respectful distance between the two parties. Referring to a woman by her first name brings inappropriate familiarity into the relationship. Similarly, a woman should refrain from addressing a man other than her husband or immediate family member by his first name. (p. 20)

It is appropriate for male and female employees [to] refrain from all conversation when they meet anywhere outside of the office. This includes not discussing even job-related matters when meeting in the hallway or elevator at work.

squeak,

I am indeed correct. There was no “Internet” until the ’80’s. So whatever e-mail address you had was a non-internet e-mail address. (May have been ARPANET, the Internet’s predecessor, but that would entail a University with a DoD affiliation.)

In the ’90’s I spoke to Jon Postel several times and corresponded with other Internet “founding fathers” (Paul Mockapetris, Paul Vixie, Vint Cerf) as well as top official at the Department of Commerce after they assumed jurisdiction of Internet governance issues from the National Science Foundation.

39, the meter maids mostly wrote the tickets out w/the wrong plate # in the first place – and he could just throw it out.

asdf, the Cops usually never write a ticket to VAS (Volunteer Ambulance Service) plates.

qwerty, I once got someone a plate, something like, Z0OM 5O0O (notice the confusing altering of 0’s and O’s.) He got a few thousand dollar worth of tickets that were written out incorrect and hence dismissed as defective.

ames, gut gefregt!