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I’m happy today for a great cup of coffee this morning.
Yesterday, I was very happy because my family came over to my house for the lunch seuda and for shalosh seuda. All the food came out good-nothing burnt. The company was great.
I love this thread! What a great idea it was.
I think as Azolis says we have to teach our children. It’s a sad state of affairs when some people are “frum ongateen” (dressed like they are frum)but not erlach at all. Lately there has been so much chillul Hashem. Perhaps we should take notice and start working harder at home and in our yeshivos to stress ehrichkeit (true honesty).
In America, the work generally costs more that items are worth. To treiber the meat is a skill. Rabbi Yisroel Belsky, shlita used to treiber deer meat for a company. Kosher deer meat was so expencive that it was worth the cost to treiber. I’m told that he was given a couple of back ends during the summer to practice on to be able to do it neat enough that the meat could still be sold. He was told that he could do what ever he wanted with those pieces. He showed the boys of his masmidim group in Camp Aguda how to trieber and then they grilled the meat to kasher it and ate venison for a few dinners.
Aish.com has been providing email service for kvitlach for years.
He travels TO EY for parnassa? Most people do it the other way. Also, many people who don’t want to live in EY now when the goverment is so anti frum and there are so many other issues but these people will run to EY when Moshiach comes. Besides, this sound more like a mariage (sorry I can’t spell) issue than any thing else.
You call a man in his 50 a “young man”. 🙂 I am flattered. I am in my 50 and it is a long time sinse I was considered a “young woman”
I have to say a hadama bracha here–it is so corny! I LOVE it.
Many, many years ago, my parents used to buy half a cow from Rubashkin. Obviously it was half of the kosher end of the cow. I’m sure if you asked the bucher stores that are really butcher stores (as opposed to places like the Kollel store that just sell meat) they could do it for you.
Sorry I am not so punny like all the other wits here. Hmmm. Half of you then would be half-wits, no? Sorry.
Your husband smells like cooked chicken?????? 😉
LOL, no Oomis. Most men come home from work and dinner is ready for them. Most women come home and start making dinner. Also, my husband comes home waaaay after I do.
Vegtable stir fries like lo mein are great! You could do it with rice as well. If you add fish, tofu, hard boiled eggs or fake meat you even have protien. I think Mountain Fruit and ShopRite in Flatbush sells it.
Darchai Noam, and what about girls whose parents can’t afford a “dowery”? And what about these tough economic times when a parent may not be in a possition to keep giving as long as they thought they could?
If a boy wants to learn, he can learn even if he has to work. My father learns every day before work. My husband works 12 hours and still has a steady shiur. The roasted chicken isn’t floating into the window and onto the table of our idealistic youngsters. Boys have to know also that marrige isn’t only in-laws, parents and wife working so he could sit and learn.
This is my neice’s recipe for those big chicken bottoms that are usually cheaper than the others. It is for a slow cooker but I’ve found that any heavy pot and a blech is fine. Put it up like you would a chulent.
One cup beer
One cup tomato sauce
I like to add assorted chopped vegis like onions, celery, carrots, garlik etc
mix the liquids and the vegis in the pot
put in the chicken
put on the slow cooker or blech
DE-LICIOUS! There is nothing better than coming home from work and smelling dinner ready. Just like a man does! 🙂
Oomis, you are sweet. I am married 32 years k”h (tu! spit ont the floor!)
I thought if there wasn’t tenoyim you just breat it and that’s it. I didn’t know the l’chaim had any religious standing. Interesting.
It’s always sad when people get hurt but definatally better before a wedding.
Moderator 39, what made you think of a question like this?
I’ve had 10 years of infertility problem. My first was born after 5 1/2 years of marrige then the problem came back and there was another 5 1/2 years before my second child was born. There was an operation before I concieve either child.
I think it is a personal decision how far a couple should go. As to the Spanish woman, what did she die of? There are no guarrentees (sorry. I can’t spell) in life. I’ve heard more stories than I wish about people who died when their children were little. Assuming that the woman was healthy when she had the children, there was no reason for her not to have them.
Keep strong, Gourmet. I know how hard it is when children don’t come right away. I always daven that everyone who wants children should have. I will keep you in my tefillos. Hashem will send in the right time. It’s just hard for us humans to agree with Him when the right time is. 🙂
Well, permition to totally let my cynism out of the bag. 🙂 Waay cool.
I think what is going on is a big chillul Hashem.
I’ve been told that Americans can’t understand what Israelis feel because we don’t have the keduasha here. I just know that I can’t see that throwing rocks at other Jews give the Rebonon Shel Olam nachas. Also, have you noticed that it doesn’t accomplish anything? If anything, it makes some of the chalonim even more determined to be mechale Shabbos.
I once heard the Teicher Ruv, Rabbi Yechiel Grunwald, say that many people want the kavod of being a rav but forget the responsibility that goes with it. I can’t believe the roshei yeshiva and the rabonim in Yerushalayim don’t know what is going on. I think that they don’t come out strongly against these actions because they know they wouldn’t get listened to anyway.
I dont’ think all or even most charaidim are behaimos as someone here said, but when children aren’t disceplined they act more and more outrages. Obviousely some of the people havn’t grown up.
The bottom line is that we need Moshiach! We don’t know right from wrong and we are all stumbling in the dark. We need Moshiach to take away the smoke and clouds and show the light. I’ll agree with the person who said we should all be saying some Tehillim for all of these people.
Oomis, I guess I wasn’t clear. The couple did check with Dor Yesharun but after the engagment. They were both carriers.
I also know that although that I had my reasons for breaking the engagement, I’m sure he told a different story. There are deffinatally 3 sides to a story.
I don’t know if a girl can’t marry a Cohen after tenoiyim. We did sign a shtar mechila but it wasn’t in front of a rav like a get would have been. It was drawn up by my grandfather. He showed it to the Satmar Dayan who OKed it. No one, not the Dayan or my grandfather (who was a big talmud chacham) said anything about cohanim so I don’t know. My husband isn’t a cohen so it never came up. My in-laws and my sister-in-law grilled me about the engagement. I guess I passed muster.
Azolis, there are many good reasons to break an engagement. In my case, I found out that he was controling and secretive. He was working under another name. I found out (too late) that he never went to the yeshiva that he claimed to have. He grew up in EY and it was difficult to check.
Some one I know found out after the engagment that he was really very sick. No one told her before this.
Some one I know found out that his father beat his mother and he didn’t think it was wrong.
Someone my sister know forgot to check with Dor Yeshurun until waaaay into the engagment. They decided to break the engagment rather than take the risks.
There are many very, very good reasons break and engagment. Dont be judgmental.
Coffee keeps some people awake. It doesn’t bother me but one year in the bungallow colony, my friend came to my porch as I was sitting enjoying cup #…I don’t even remember. I invited her to join me which she did. The next morning she came over to me looking very red eyed. She said “That WASN’T decaf, was it?” 🙂 I had no probs sleeping, but she was up half the night.
Coffee does have some good side affects according to some people.
Or maybe we should encourage girl and boys who have shidduch problems to do as the cuttle fish and go on dates in costumes! I would love to see something like that. The dates would laugh so hard that they would be sure to enjoy themselves. This way there willl be second dates which might lead to ….something else. 🙂
See what good things you can learn from the animal world? Proud Tatty, are you starting a shiduch group for the fish?
I am married over 30 years. Before I met my husband, I was engaged to some one else. We even had tenoyim. Many people didn’t want to go out with me because of this. Smart Cookie, it STILL isn’t a reason to go through with the marrige rather than breaking an engagement.
Some one looking to go out with a person who was engaged once should ask if there was tenoyim because then you do need a shtar mechila. Otherwise you don’t. Understand that when you ask what went wrong, there are 3 stories: his, hers and the truth. Each party will have the story as seen through their eyes. Even if they broke of because one side was obnoxious and abusive, do you think that person will see it that way? I don’t think so.
As with anything, you are entitle to ask questions as long as you don’t embarass or humiliate the person. After 30+ years, I still feel badly about a certain person who did his best to “pick me apart”. Have rachmanus.
Hatzlacha raba.
B’shoa tova1 I didn’t have the 1-2 problem like that because my #1 and #2 are 5 years apart. My #3 & #3 are 16 months apart and my #3 & #4 are 19 months apart. I tried to give each one attention. I found that a lot was the personality of the child. My #2 would lay her head on my lap while I nursed #3 and was happy. I thought it would be the same by #4 but #3 isnt the same child as #2. Do your best. Ask advice but don’t make yourself too crazy. Each child has his/her own personality and needs their own way. Some jelousy is normal. Think about how you are with your siblings.
Good luck. I’m sure your do fine.
areivimzehlazeh, I agree about the Green Mountain. Their Ethiopian is unreal! Too pricy though. 🙁
My mother-in-law nebach has Alzheimers and doesn’t always recognize everyone, but when I accidentally gave her some generic coffee she looked at me and said “This isn’t Folgers!”. 🙂 Coffee is coffee.
Some mornings I feel there should be a special bracha for coffee. I usually feel very grateful to the Rebonon Shel Olam for my morning cup.
I love Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. I buy it by the pound. I put in mostly coffee and the rest milk. I love half and half but I use low fat because of calaries and cholesteral. I don’t use sugar or sweetner. When I’m at work, the DD coffee store near me is run by half wits and they manage to ruin plain coffee so I go to the 7/11 a block away and get their regular blend coffee. They have cholov Yisroel milk. I am use cholov stam but if cholov Yisroel is available I prefer that. It also shows the 7/11 that cholov Yisroel is wanted.
OOOHH. I think I need a cup now.
My kids listened to the Zaidy tapes until they came out of my ears! My favorite is the Trolly song. When we deal with people who are…not bright, my family starts quoting “Hello! My name is Mr. Ahsborn….”
My kids (26, 21, 20, 18) can all sit around and quote The Purim Story.
I love Ani Maamin by Lipa from the Shema album.
Lo Es Avosainu by Diaspera gives me chizuk.
I live in Flatbush but not in the 20s. I don’t know if this is true or not, but it’s a good idea to teach your children to be careful and to watch out for suspisous looking cars or vans. If your not sure why a stranger is hanging out on your block, call the cops or the shomrim.
We should all be careful in this crazy world.
Cantoresq, I haven’t studied music since 9th grade so I will bow to your superior knowledge. That said, I still haven’t heard a deffinition of “good geshmact Jewish music”. I have heard that if the music makes you want to move your body in a non-tznius way, it is improper. That sounds right to me.
Cantoresq, while I am not a great fan of either opera or chazanus, I think that there is a similarity to them. Not all the operatic songs, but some of the great arias definatally have the same elements are chazanic music. Yossele Rosenblatt was offered a job in the Metropolitan Opera and refused it for obvious reasons but the voice control that he had is what would have made him a star tenor. Chazanus is different than opera, but it is more similar to opera than any other type of music.
I hope you don’t feel that I am knocking chazanus with this comparison, but you have to admit that the ability to hold notes is what makes both type of singers great. You don’t usually find this type of singin in other music forms.
Samown, define “good, geshmaked Jewish music”. Chazanus sounds just like opera. I guess you can’t call THAT ggJm. About 50% of negunim from davening comes from R’Shlomo Carlbach. Many people don’t call him fit to listen to either. Many old Chasidic negunim come from goyish influences. I have to tell you that the traditional Chasal Sidur Pessach really sounds to me like a drinking song.
22OldGold, I beleive Achar became an apikorus after learning kabala when he wasn’t on that level. I don’t remember learning that music had anything to do with it.
Interesting. I enjoy science. Where did you read this?
I don’t understand the sinas chinom here. Some of you sound like you are just salivating at the thought that a Yid will lose a lot of money. Whether or not you like Lipa Shmeltzer, I don’t see how you are hoping that people will be financially hurt.
That is so unbecoming of the fine Yidden who post here. Maybe this is one of the lessons we have to learn from this financial meltdown/recession we are going through.
Children can get into trouble in any city in the world, but when you take an 18 year old and put her (or him) in a situation where she doesn’t have the same kind of supervisioun as she did at home and weekends there is very minimal supervision SOMETIMES children do things they wouldn’t do at home. You have to know your child before you send her/him across the globe.
Igenerally don’t do themes. I give out a lot so I try to keep it inexpencive. I go often to Amazing Savings-about once a week, just to check out what I don’t need (I always find it). I always keep on the lookout for nice bags or boxes for meshulach manos. Last year they had little denim bags that looked like totes but were about 4″ X 4″. They were around 3/$1. I put a bottle of grape juice and somekind of nosh in each bag and wrote on them Simchas Purim with a magic marker. They were very cute. This year I bought little paper totes (5/$1) and I will fill it with home made cup cakes (usuing my new cup cake molds!) and either a grape juice or a juic box.
I love Purim. I am in my 50s and I still always dress up. I have some ideas for this year, but I’m still not sure what I will do.
I’d like my coffee with milk (low fat/blue) and no sugar. I have some fresh brownies. Homemade. The best!
Rabbi Moshe Mayer Weiss says on some of his tapes that cosmetics came down with the mahn in the midbar. Seems like Someone thought women should have them.
I have to say I find this very amusing. First of all, the biggest laugh is all the people on line talking about the evils of the internet. Maybe you should discuss during davening the evils of talking in shul. That said, I think we all know that the biggest problem of the internet is that you can go to bad sites in the privacy of your home instead of being embarassed to go to the news stand to buy disgusting magazines. It does take some self-restraint. OMG! People acually restraing themselves! What a radical thought!
Second, my boys all went to different yeshivas in the States (NY and NJ) and the smoking that went on there was unbeleiveable! One yeshiva, in an effort to slow it down, made a rule that you couldn’t smoke within 2 blocks of the yeshiva. One dorm that one of my son’s was in while in Bais Medresh, had a haze of smoke inside.
Smoking is smelly, expencive, effects the heart and lungs and keeps organizations like Chai Lifeline in business. I can’t understand why it’s condoned in most yeshivas.
There really is no comparison to the 2 problems. It’s like saying: Is it better to play in traffic or eat at McDonalds.
Words are very powerful. My friend’s son procratinated when he was supposed to get a kittle for his wedding. When my friend kept telling him to get it already, he answered: So, what’s the worst, I’ll get married in a borrowed kittle. Well, came the wedding, and after he badecked the kallah, the door to the chassan room jammed. They worked on it for almost an hour then someone went and got a different kittle. As he said, my friend’s son got married in a borrowed kittle.
Makes you think, huh?
I’ve had fertility problems. It was 5 years and an operation until I had my first child, then five more years and ANOTHER operation until my second child was born. You can’t not tell your friend about your pregnancy but I will agree with with squeek not to complain to your friend about your difficulies either with pregnancy or with your kids. You will lose your friend if you try to be oversensative and not say anything. I had a good friend who, like me, was trying to get pregnant. We both got pregnant at the same time but was afraid to tell the other. The relationship became very strained. By the time one of us (I don’t remember who it was) finally told the good news, the relationship was too uncomfortable to resume the wasy it was.
Another friend, when he heard that I was expecting, said that he can take credit because shortly before that he had said something that made me very sad. He said that Hashem must have seen how unhappy I was and finally gave me a child. He is now a prominent rav and this was many years ago when we were both young and stupid, but I don’t have to tell you that I did not feel grateful to him for his “help”. Moral: Don’t give such “help”.
Another friend tried to sympathise with me so when I told her that I was going to start fetility testing for the 2nd time, she started telling me how she also wanted to because she has only 5 children and wanted more. Moral: Don’t be that sympathetic.
I’m sorry, I think I went way off the topic. I’m surprised to see that after more than 25 years and 4 children, it still hurts.
SJSinNYC, good luck. I wish you and your friend the best. You sound like a good person. I’m sure you will do the right thing. I am not angry at the people that said stupid things. It didn’t even break up any friendships. Silence did though.
asdfghjkl, I wasn’t afraid you were FBI. I married off 2 children, I can probably OUT DO the FBI. 🙂 I think so can most people in the parsha. 🙂 I was just wondering where someones profile was. I couldn’t find it. Now I have a new way of possably checking when my next 2 kids go on the market. 🙂
asdfghjkl, what profile is there about the posters? Where do you find it?
Yes. These jokes are funny, but when you make fun of relationships, it becomes harder to have good relationships. I feel this goes for marrage joke, husband jokes, wife jokes etc.
Another way of lookinga at it is: Is it proper and does it pas?
Yashrus, I am happy for you that you are still single. You have the chance to grow up and improve before inflicting yourself on a woman. Even if you are only joking and don’t believe the stuff you wrote, it’s still disgusting. Grow up, Sheifele. It’s cheaper than a divorce.
Its been a long time sinse I’ve had to deal with these issues, but as I remember, I didn’t give my children milk with a meat meal. They drank juice or water. I don’t remember how long they waited until they could have milk. We used soy milk when they NEEDED milk. Usually it was maked into chocolate milk for them with some syrup.
Goofy, it’s usually the boy and his mother makeing a deal about looks. I’ve had people asking me if I know any girls but she has to be skinny. My daughter has been turned down soley on the fact that she is not a size 2. One mother told me that everything is so perfect, can’t my daughter just lose some weight to be down to her son’s requirement? Some not-nice person insinuated to my sone (as part of “information) that my beautiful (inside and out) daughter-in-law was heavy because she “might be a size 10”.
So who is makeing the physical fuss?
Chaim, I have an aquaintence who is frum and in the Army. He just left Iraq. I don’t know what he did about Shabbos, but I knwo that he kept kosher. I used to send him packages with tuna and gefilte fish and other stuff. I know that some kosher food is available there. I don’t think too much, because of what he had asked for.
Hashem should guide you and always keep you safe where every you find yourself.
As for everyone else, Chaim started out saying that he asked his shailos already so why are you paskening? If your curious (like it’s your business or something)you might aske who his rav is. Again, not like it’s your business. This is not our country but it is a very good host country. We should support it and prey for it’s saftey. Our country and our allighance (Sorry, I can’t spell for beans) will be to the leadership of Moshiach. Until then, this country with all the anti-Semitism, still treats Jews better than any other country on earth.
I have tons of Torah tapes I want to give away.
Ladies (and gentleman) I see nothing wrong with a person spending under $10 a week to be well groomed. Personally, I don’t have weekly manis, but I see nothing wrong with it. I also like the nail place on Ave. M between E. 17th and E. 18 Streets. As for the price of getting your hair done, asdfighjid, when a beautition spends a good half hour or more on a customer, plus the price of products you have to figure that it will cost more than a man’s hair cut.
Back to shadchans…the only reason my daughter went out with her husband is because the shadchan was a relative and I had to be polite and couldn’t tell her where to get off. Once they sarted dating, it was another story. On the other hand though, some people are just imposible to deal with. I have an aquaintance who berates the shadchan if she feels the shadchan doesn’t have enough information or if the she feels the shiduch doesn’t “pas”. Needless to say, not even her close friends want to red a shiduch for her daughters. Then there are stories like the man who told my sister that he will date anyone. She found a nice girl and when she spoke to the “boy” she started asking many silly questions. Is it really relevent what High school a mid 30s woman went out with? Every one from single, parent and shadchan have to work on trying to solve the “shiduch crisis”.
Yoyo, I don’t think Bei Kayta is too materialistic, although these days are different from when I went to camp. Bei Kayta has refrigerators and gas grill for each bunk so the kids don’t bring their own. When you see boys leaving for camp these days, you’d think they are moving away from home!
DontHaveInternet: I don’t know if you know who my boys are, but I will agree with you that they are great guys. They have also been there since the Camp Heller days. Do I have to change my screen name now that you might know who I am? Do you REALLY know who I am just becaue you know my kids? 🙂
My 2 boys have been going to Bei Kyta since it started. It has a strong learning plus organized leages and afternoon programs. Both my boys took the life guard course and got Red Cross certified. They both worked as life guards. The boys love the camp and the rabbis, Rabbi Kaufman and Rabbi Beenstock (Beenfield? Some one correct me) know the boys well and the boys like and respect them. The only problem is that it is very far to go to visit on Visiting Day.
Good luck with your decision.
Are you interested in rebishe yichus for shiduch reasons or just geneology?