NOYB

Sure, we have some problems, but overall in real life things are fine. Get off the internet, talk to people (Magazines are not real life either). You’ll see everyone has some issues but most people are dealing with it, you will be fine if you just touch grass.

I think there are a few very significant aspects to this that most people overlook. I’m only talking here about people who can actually afford this sort of thing, people doing it on credit to keep up with appearances are another story entirely.

The more money you’re used to seeing (in business or personal life), the higher the amount that seems normal to you. $1 was a lot to us when we were kids, I would assume $100 is not a meaningless amount to most of us now, and Bill Gates loses money if he stops working to pick up that same $100. A $200,000 chassunah for someone who makes $2 million a year is the same percentage of income as a $20,000 takanah chassunah to someone making $200,000. When someone who can afford it makes a giant production, it is not as big a deal to them as we think it is. It’s a much bigger deal for a normal guy to make a $50k wedding than it is for a rich guy to make a $500k wedding. The world is a different place to different people. If someone’s job involves regularly signing deals for tens of millions, then a few hundred thousand is just not as big a deal to them anymore. If your job is to spend your day hopping between offices of the top 10 lawyers in Manhattan, after a while a lot of luxuries become normal. To make a wedding that is considered tastefully nice for this kind of person is a wedding that is crazy for most others, because those others aren’t regularly turning down a $1,000,000 business deal as too small. I absolutely will tell you it’s for the simcha, because we just don’t know what is normal to other people. Yeah, a $20,000 custom suit for a wedding is crazy. Until you realize this person spent the last 20 years in rooms with people wearing custom suits witha price of $50,000.

Additionally, the entire tachlis of Hashem giving people a lot of money (as far as I’ve been told) is for tzedakah and chessed. The gvirim of klal yisroel rise to this occasion to an incredible degree. They’re supporting more yeshivos and people learning than any time in history since maamad har sinai. Hatzalah takes in millions just in the funds they match for the yearly campaigns. Chai Lifeline, RCCS, tomchei shabbos, I don’t have the days it would take to list all the good done in klal yisroel largely enabled by the funding of our “moguls”. These are people who fund half the chassunos in Eretz Yisroel and don’t blink. We’ll happily demand they fund whatever we need in our lives, and they do, and we have the chutzpah to turn around and say they can’t enjoy themselves with the rest of the money they make because we can’t control our kinah?

“Hundreds of thousands of dollars. Gone. For a few hours of noise and lights and fake “wow.”
And let’s call it what it is—it’s sick. Sick. Sick.

This is again a kind of person who is living in a different world than you and me. For most of us, making in a good year in the low 6 figures, that would indeed be sick. But I guarantee you 90%+ of the people making a chasunah nice enough for you to notice are giving away tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars a night just to mishulachim, not to mention organizations. I would think very few people have made a chasunah with Motty Steinmetz and not given out more to tzedakah at that wedding than the cost of the wedding. We can’t imagine the tzedakah going on in the world. How many chassunos has a guy we’re all complaining about made for other people? How many organizations are able to go make “a few hours of noise and lights and fake “wow”” for sick kids in hospitals because of this kind of guy? We can’t tell someone who’s giving a chomesh+ on a large salary (not to mention investments) that he can’t make a wedding for his kid at a level he will thoroughly enjoy and he can easily afford.

“And all this is happening while people in our community are choking on tuition bills,
juggling credit cards, figuring out how to pay rent, how to marry off children, how to survive.”

And do you know why there is still a yeshiva to send high tuition bills despite the small number of people paying full tuition, and why the struggling person in our community is still able to keep up the juggling act with the credit cards? Because the mogul we are demanding cut his spending is personally making up the gap in the yeshiva budget between what they need and what tuition brings in. Because the person we’re angry at for how much they spent on food at their chassunah matched every donation given to tomchei shabbos for the last 5 years. It’s very sad that people have monetary difficulties, just like it is sad that people have other difficulties. But I don’t demand everyone over 60 wears hearing aids just because many people need them.

“There’s no limit anymore. No sense of normal. No sense of “this is enough.””

I agree, everyone should be completely normal. When people knock on a rich guy’s door, he should give them an $18 check. He should give $360 to his kid’s yeshiva campaign, a few bucks here and there to large organizations, and that’s it. Oh, there is a crisis in the community and we need to make an organization to deal with it? Well, you better not ask mr. normal for any unusual donation, and you better come to his house during normal hours where you wouldn’t feel bad knocking on anyone else’s door. Oh, the gedolim need money to keep their mosdos open b/c the government cut off funding? Well, I hope they convince the knesset to restore funding, because no one would expect a group of normal guys who know when enough is enough to rally together and raise literally $100 million dollars in what, a week? When people live lives that naturally have high limits, and step up to fulfill the limitless demands we make of them, we can’t then go slap limits on the things that they enjoy.

“The pressure this creates is unbelievable.
More debt. More stress.”

Pressure this creates? Taking on debt to make events like this? That’s insanity on the part of people feeling pressure. Usain bolt can run almost 28 MPH, are you feeling pressure to keep up? Saudi Sheikhs drive gold Lamborghinis, are you trying to apply for a car loan for one? In all the classic shtetl stories, not even in Chelm would the wagon driver or grocery store owner feel pressure to make a chassunah as big as the gvir. That’s not who you are. That’s not what you should do.

There are definitely problems here. Some people are doing it just to show off. I happen to think it is not a lot of people, but that is definitely a terrible way to be. A WhatsApp status dedicated solely to tracking weddings made by “moguls” is absolutely gross and sick. But that is a lack of maturity, a lack of tznius, and a problem with jealousy. As for comparisons, that is 100% a problem with attendees and not the people making events. Why are we content to sit by our friends’ weddings judging them? That says a lot more about the people doing the judging than the people making the wedding.

Look, recreating seudas halivyasan early is not the way I personally would go for a wedding either, regardless of how financially feasible it was. But who gets to determine the max level that’s ok? There’s always someone who thinks it’s too much. Bottom line, if you must spend time looking at yenem, spend more time looking at how he funds the shul you go to, the sforim you learn there, the yeshiva that taught you how to learn them, and less time on what happens with the portion of hard earned money he doesn’t spend on everyone else.

I’m a Chaveirim guy (not in Monsey), so here’s my perspective: If your car is kind of old, the wheel was likely rusted on to the rotor. Kicking the edge of it is a regular thing to do in this situation, as is hitting it with the spare tire and sometimes, if none of that works, with a hammer. I’ve occasionally had cases where the tire was so stuck on, we couldn’t get it off and the car had to be towed. Even without rust, wheels are sometimes hard to remove. Missing the tire happens to everyone occasionally, but denting the fender is pretty unusual. Either way, I wouldn’t call any of that supreme incompetence, unless there are more details we don’t know. As to what you should do, there’s a few angles:

1. definitely say something to Chaveirim. They can try to figure out exactly how much of an incompetence vs accident this was. If it’s an incompetence or training issue, I guarantee they want to know about it. If it is just a thing that happens every once in a while, then there’s no harm in telling them.

2. When it comes to asking for compensation, it may be worth looking at the whole story. Your 17 year old son called a volunteer organization for help changing a tire. Sure, it’s not always easy in practice, but almost anyone with a license should be able to do it. Someone who does not get paid for this took time out of his day, a week before pesach (so he’s either taking time out of his bein hazmanim, his work, or helping his family prepare for yom tov) to help your son. Even if you want to say the guy didn’t handle it the best, at the end of the day he was trying to help, not getting paid, and dealing with a situation that can sometimes be tricky (wheels do get stuck) in what sounds to me like a pretty normal way. The damage you described also sounds more cosmetic.

Bottom line, you may still be fully within your rights to ask for compensation. After all, the guy did damage your car. But in this case, with the money coming from tzedakah, is it the erlich thing to do? I am biased, but I don’t think so. This is assuming that the damage is cosmetic and your son is physically capable of changing a tire, if those 2 assumptions are not true than things may be different.

I think this is a wonderful idea!

I have been a member of Chaveirim for many years. Every so often, someone will call on behalf of a non-jew, or a member will stop on the side of the road to help someone random. Very often, these people react with fear, because they are sure anyone stopping to help them is going to demand a large payment in return. They have never experienced chessed, which is such a regular part of all of our lives! I have had times where it takes me longer to explain that we just want to help people than it does to fix whatever their issue was.

You can check AirBnB or VRBO

NoMesorah- You are certainly correct that if the goal was survival, staying home was the best bet, and concealed carry was the 2nd best option. However, the point was to protect and clean up businesses, while providing a back up plan for survival if that became necessary, which it did.

I don’t really understand what you mean by “You have to commit to use the gun or call it off”
running away with a gun is absolutely a valid tactic. people spend a lot of time practicing tactical retreats/withdrawals, leapfrogging when backup is available, etc.

You don’t always shoot to kill, you shoot to stop the threat- for the first two, they stopped when they died. the third guy stopped after he was shot in the arm. Killing him at that point would be murder, because there is no reason to keep shooting if he’s no longer a threat.

What would be accomplished by dropping the gun or holding it by the muzzle? I highly doubt that people would have stopped chasing him, as mobs are not known for their rational decision-making abilities. There is no rule that you have to kill anyone you are forced to shoot, and there is no rule governing the speed at which you retreat in a fight (other than “as fast as is prudent”). he wasn’t pointing the rifle over his shoulder and cranking off rounds, he was running away, and then shot when he was knocked to the ground from behind and beaten. The prudent decision was to get away ASAP from the murderous mob that just tried to kill him 3 times.

“One can try to calmly back away with a drawn gun. But do not make a break for it.”

Why not? wouldn’t you want to get away from the people who tried to take your gun and then kill you with theirs as fast as possible? what would be the reason to go slow?

Yiddishkeit is not twitter, we don’t cancel people. Even in the 1 case where a beis din told people to go protest, the people went on to go after the guy’s family and their jobs, which is 1000% ossur. Are you a scumbag piece of garbage if you abuse halacha to hold someone in a marriage? for sure! But chukas hagoyim in the worst possible way is not a good method of getting people to listen to halacha. That guy from Afghanistan gave a get after 20 years b/c he was afraid of ISIS, should we start handing people to ISIS for not giving a get?

Not to mention all these major “yorei shomayim” and “shluchei beis din” who spend their days on social media yelling about this stuff, and give interviews to the most disgusting, animalistic news outlets telling loshon hora on yidden to the lowest class of goyim around.

Does any of this seem like something torahdig? Do pictures of these protests look like an event the Chofetz Chaim and R’ Moshe would be seen at, or an event AOC would be at? Do they look like birchas Kohanim by the kosel, chavrusah tumult in BMG, or the women’s march in DC? Do the announcements to go sound more like the invitations to the siyum hashas or an antifa protest?

regardless of who is or isn’t a “get refuser”- can anyone possibly think of a worse thing to encourage than “hey random people, form a mob and go ruin someone’s life based on hearsay”? This is very quickly going to turn into a nightmare, with the worst forms of loshon hara, and I have no doubt that countless innocent people are going to have their lives ruined over this.

Parler is designed to be a version of twitter with free speech for all (as long as they are not directly threatening violence). Yes, free speech means disgusting people are allowed to say nasty things we disagree with. that will include anti-semitism and holocust denial. It also means you will be allowed to say all of the various things we believe as yidden that would have the types of people who like twitter accuse us of baing nazi facist haters.

Remove the WiFi and bluetooth cards and Ethernet port. Any form of filter or digital block can be broken.

There is a police officer on youtube, MikeTheCop, who said that Blake was known to local police to carry a gun in his car, told them at that time he had a gun in his car, was holding a knife, and had an active warrant for assault and domestic abuse.

There are many aspects to this question, depending on how you approach it. From a small government/conservative side, the government should not fund people who are intentionally poor. the idea of welfare should be to help people get back on their feet. Now, you might say funding education is a good idea, and it is, but this education does not contribute to the things that national policymakers consider valuable.

That being said, we are yidden, not secular policymakers or small government advocates. If benefits will be distributed, then an exclusively peaceful nation of scholars that produces people who do contribute a lot to the nation physically (not usually while in kollel, but afterwards) and by and large pays taxes should definitely be on the list to receive benefits. From a yiddishe perspective, the world runs on Torah, and while some may not appreciate this, it is obvious to us that yungerleit learning in kollel are of immeasurable benefit to this country.

Yes. A swastika is davka freedom of speech. You don’t need a law protecting the right to say “good morning”. You need a law to protect speech people don’t like. People have the right to display a swastika, and I have a right to tell everyone what a disgusting racist they are and how we should all boycott any business they have or ask a nazi’s employer if that’s really who they want representing their company. We can’t just outlaw things that make us uncomfortable, even if we are uncomfortable for a good reason. We have to allow people to express their ideas, and then react appropriately.

North Korea and Iran don’t have NEARLY the capability to launch an EMP Strike against the US. F-14s and Mig 17s from 1/2-3/4 of a century ago are not going to get through NORAD, or even get close enough to the US to be under the jurisdiction of NORAD. Honestly, I don’t know that China has capability to deliver an EMP to the US either. The US has not prepared for a domestic war against those countries, it has prepared for “if they get annoying enough, what’s the easiest way to invade and destroy them”.

A single EMP strike would not take out the entire country. US domestic nuclear launch facilities are hardened against EMPs, as is a large area underneath the Pentagon, Air Force 1, The White House, and many other command and control locations, not to mention the multiple nuclear-capable carrier strike groups we have at sea pretty much constantly since the aircraft carrier was invented. While we can’t know for sure, it is INCREDIBLY likely that there is some sort of protocol for nuclear subs to launch if they don’t hear anything from their commanders after a certain amount of time. Not to mention US forces and diplomats all across the world, as well as the aforementioned EMP-hardened parts of the US military command and control. As I said before, I don’t know where you are getting your info, but I suggest not following that source and taking a chill pill.

To add to Som1’s post- aside from the low likelihood of hitting someone’s leg, legs have veins and arteries that can easily be fatal if hit. For these two reasons, anyone who expects to be in any sort of self defense situation is trained to avoid attempting leg shots.

Why re-invent the wheel? There are numerous communities across the US with all the small town meilos you listed. Baltimore, Silver Spring, Dallas, Las Vegas, Atlanta, Phoenix, Richmond, South Bend, and Norfolk are only some of the places that come to mind. These places already have a lot of frum infrastructure, like shulls, schools, and kosher food.

I can’t speak to number 2 or 3 (I believe it was probably number 2 though), but I think that we can definitively rule out that this was an intentionally released bioweapon. Firstly, scientists can tell when a virus is natural or artificial. Everyone has been saying that this virus looks natural. Secondly, this is a relatively benign virus. It spreads well, but the death rate is very low. If it were an intentionally created bio-weapon, it would be killing a lot more people. No one wants to invent an artillery shell that covers a very small area when it explodes, and no one wants to create a virus that barely kills anyone (compared to things like anthrax and the black death).

JUST STAY HOME!!!! You are not smarter than the rabbonim. You are not smarter than the ER doctors. You are not smarter than the epidemiologists. Everyone who knows anything about both the medical and halachic side of things is telling you to stay home and daven alone. Stop trying to be a tzaddik. There is no mitzvah to increase the chances of people dying because you decided to ignore every rav and doctor. Israel said that 25% of cases were from shuls and minyanim. Are you willing to get 2 or 3 people sick per minyan while going against piskei halacha and medical advice? Your first sentence was correct: CLEARLY THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS NOT TO DAVEN WITH A MINYAN. The more “safe” minyanim you make, the more “safe” minyanim there will have to be as more people die and more people need to say kaddish for them.

1. Basketball is basically the most popular sport in yeshiva. A lot of people follow it, so they know about Koby Bryant.

2. He was extremely famous, so even if you and no one you know followed basketball (very unlikely in a vast majority of yeshivos) you probably heard of him at least a little.

3. Helicopter crashes are big news.

4. He was young, his daughter was obviously also very young, and 6 or 7 other people died. It’s very sad.

5. It’s getting wall to wall coverage in the goyish media. Even if you don’t follow sports or care about celebrities, if something is being covered by literally every outlet all day, you will most likely hear about it.

“Do we have the luxury” No. “we” don’t. However, the people who donated do. There is no requirement that every penny of donated money goes to your preferred causes. Look at the names of people who attended. Guys like Ruby Schron give more tzedaka than we could imagine. It is none of our business how gvirim spend their money. They are giving plenty to tzedaka, and they can do whatever they want with the rest of their money.

Neither. I think they do a pretty good job of staying in the center, because I see people complaining they are too liberal and I also see people complaining they are too conservative. This leads me to think they are doing a good job of staying in the center. I see comments with different opinions, and articles with different biases.

There is a major legal machlokes over whether there can be obstruction of justice with no underlying crime. The tzad to say yes is that even if there is no crime, you still can’t mess with investigations. The tzad to say no is that if there is no crime, there is no justice to obstruct.

I don’t think the problem is with the guns. First, let’s look at the actual numbers- out of the 30,000ish deaths annually involving guns, roughly 2/3 are suicides. That’s not a gun problem, it’s a suicide/mental health problem. People commit suicide in all kinds of ways, and no one is discussing banning bridges or razor blades, because we recognize that suicide, not the tool used, is the issue. Then, once you get around 10,000 murders with guns, realize that around 90% of that is gang murders. That’s not a gun problem, it’s a gang problem. Is 1,000 deaths really a national issue of horrific significance? Obviously, it’s not good- but it is overblown. Don’t join a gang or commit suicide, and you are more likely to die from flu or in some sort of accident. As for banning certain types of guns- all the guns I have heard proposals to ban function the same as any other gun. Additionally, good luck confiscating 300 million guns from 80-100 million Americans. Also, I don’t really understand how you can offer an opinion on this without knowing anything about it. You wouldn’t join a discussion about yeshivos if you didn’t know the difference between Beis Yaakov and BMG, so how can you join a discussion on guns without knowing anything about them? Luna- those “big guns” you talk about shoot at the exact same rate as pistols. Not to mention the fact that millions of people around the country depend on them for hunting and defending their farms from coyotes, groundhogs, and other pests. Also, rifles (the big guns) are used in around 1% of crimes committed with guns.

Again with this stupidity? None of these companies are even the same companies as they were during the war. They have all been bought and sold and reorganized a million times. The parts are made in China and final assembly is in Mexico. It’s one thing if you are a survivor who gets flashbacks if you see a symbol you saw in the camps or something, but if you just want to boycott everything made by someone who wronged the Jews, enjoy your cave on a desert Island.

Statistics, cars versus planes, none of this matters. No one is sitting down with a bunch of studies and making an educated choice to be afraid of small planes. People see news stories about crashes, look at a tiny little plane that is only powered by a propeller, and decide that flying around in this thing is not something they feel safe doing.