Redleg

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 50 posts - 451 through 500 (of 510 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Problem dealing with a student #981273
    Redleg
    Participant

    Some questions:

    1. How old is the girl? I get the impression that she is between 14 and 16.

    2. How is she doing academically? Never mind her attitude, how are her test scores?

    3. You say her parents are rich. Does the school depend on them for major support? Could it be that the girl thinks that she can get away with anything because Papa hat gelt and the school needs him? Does Papa have the same attitude, I.E. You have to keep/accept my daughter or I’ll walk?

    If the answer to #3 is all yeses, what is happening is that you and the school are being bullied by an obnoxious girl raised by obnoxious parents all of whom think that their wealth and social status lets them do as they want. The only effective way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. I strongly suggest that the girl be summarily tossed out of school and if Papa says he’ll take his money elsewhere, tell him, “Go ahead. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”

    Be certain that the One Who Provides Sustenance to All will see that the loss of revenue from this schlemiel will be made up by others and, who knows, maybe finally being stood up to will have an educational effect on them. You’re a teacher. Not all lessons are taught in a classroom.

    in reply to: Shockelling trouble #978854
    Redleg
    Participant

    Short answer to the OP: Yes. Zai nisht frum af yenne’s cheshbon.

    in reply to: Knowing the Future #983816
    Redleg
    Participant

    You know, the future may be as immutable as the past. Suppose you found out that you would die (C”S) on April 5, 2023 of heart disease. Okay, so you lose weight, stop smoking, eat right and exercise. you maintain yourself in superb health. On April 5, 2023 you are crossing the street and get hit by a car whose driver had a heart attack behind the wheel.

    in reply to: Why are there SOOOO many OTD threads? #981300
    Redleg
    Participant

    ZD, It was my yeshiva experience, admittedly some 50 years ago, that it was actually “the best of the best” who were most likely to go OTD. It’s not so much the kids who can’t keep up, although they are one demographic of kids who drift away, It’s the kids who get bored waiting for the rest of the kids to catch up to them. The vast majority of yeshiva mechanchim are simply not capable of dealing with genuine illuim. They’re the ones who ask the questions that the Rabbeim can’t or won’t answer. Yeshivas, despite their protestations, really only want to deal with nice bachurim of average intelligence (for Ashkenazi Jews). They are not prepared, nor are they willing, to deal with kids who are smarter than they are.

    in reply to: How to prevent access to wifi on tablet? #1094134
    Redleg
    Participant

    The only sure way to eliminate the WIFI capability on any device is to remove the 802.11 transceiver. On some earlier laptops this was relatively easy. On a tablet, although possible, it’s very difficult and requires real expertise. There is also a pretty good possibility that the tablet will get trashed in the process. If you are that makpid about your kids not having WIFI access on their tablets, why get them tablets at all? If all they want to do is play games, they can do it on you home computer (if you have one) or a dedicated game machine under parental supervision. I can’t think of a good reason for the kids to have mobile game playing capability. Where are they going to use it, in school?

    in reply to: Techeiles 🔵❎🐌☑️🐟 #1058100
    Redleg
    Participant

    Dr. Singer’s position is that:

    1. The Murex Trunculus in no way resembles the desciption of the chilazon as cited in Menachos (P.S. the Radzyner’s cuttlefish certainly comes closer.) and 2. Most compelling is that Murex dye is chemically the same as kla ilon (indigo) and will not pass the practical test described in Menachos loc. cit.

    in reply to: Will I get a shidduch? #977999
    Redleg
    Participant

    “Will I get a Shidduch?” Yes, you will but it will take a while. , After a long period of fruitless dating You will get married at 29 to a young man whom you had dated ten years previously who you “sort of” liked but rejected because of _________________________ (fill in the blank). It will be a happy marriage. You will have four children, three girls and a boy. You and your husband will have a long, happy, successful and rewarding life surrounded by your children and grandchildren, all of whom will be b’nei and b’nos Torah and yireo shamayim.

    in reply to: Bushy Weasels #983589
    Redleg
    Participant

    The American porcupine is not and was not found in the Middle East and could not have been known Chazal of the gemorah. The “Bushy Weasel” of Bava Kamma was more likely the common hedgehog which is, indeed, found in their localities.

    in reply to: Techeiles 🔵❎🐌☑️🐟 #1058098
    Redleg
    Participant

    In the Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society, Vol 40, Sukkos, 2001. Dr. Mendel E.Singer of Case Western Reserve University makes a very compelling case for the Murex Trunculus NOT being the chilazon and the source of techeiles. The article is available on RJJ’s web site.

    in reply to: Ami's article on gilgulim #1117418
    Redleg
    Participant

    Have you ever noticed that anyone who says that he or she is a gilgul was always someone important or significant in previous lives? No one was ever Joe Schmo ordinary.

    in reply to: Telling parents about lifestyle changes #977300
    Redleg
    Participant

    On further consideration, it seems that this is not a binary issue of tell them/don’t tell them. What about just “faking it”? I take it that your parents live in the U.S. When you visit them or they visit you what’s wrong with simply behaving in the manner that your parents expect? What you do on your own time is your business. Why not spare your parents the grief and anguish of knowing that you are lost to them (in some fashion, at least), and who knows,” im lo l’shmah, bo l’shmah”.

    in reply to: Tznius or Shalom Bayis #977145
    Redleg
    Participant

    You, know, I wonder how realistic the OP’s issue is. In my case, whatever shalom bayis issues that may have arisen in 45 years of marriage, tznius wasn’t one of them. I mean, an otherwise tznius wife doesn’t wake up one morning and decide that she wants to wear shorts and a halter top. If the issue arises pre-chasunah, no problem. If it arises shortly post chasunah, nu, mekach taos, seeyah! Shalom bayis implies that a bayis has been established. I can only see relatively minor issues arising in an established household, the kind that discussions with one’s local moreh d’asrah should be able to resolve.

    For instance, the wife decides that she doesn’t need to wear a shmateh on her head in her own house when no one but her husband is there. There is clearly precedent for that view but it doesn’t happen to be the custom of either family and she’s covered her hair at home up till now. In the unlikely event that that a loving couple can’t straighten the dispute out themselves, a counseling session with the Rav ought to fixit. If not, that couple has bigger problems than hair covering.

    in reply to: How did the Sanhedrin Know All Languages? #997533
    Redleg
    Participant

    Another reason that Americans generally aren’t multilingual is that they don’t have to be. unless he travels abroad frequently, anywhere he goes in North America he can get by in English or broken Spanish. Europeans, on the other hand, are almost forced to be multilingual because of the close proximity of other language groups. If you leave, say, Paris and drive 1000 kilometers, you cross at least two frontiers and encounter three languages. If you leave New York and drive 1000 kilometers, you’re half way to Chicago. BTW, Russians are also often language challenged for the same reason. Anywhere they go, everyone speaks Russian. Also English is the most commonly spoken language in the world. There are more English speakers than those of any other language including 300 million Americans, 150 or so million Britons, Australians, South Africans, etc. and about one billion Indians. All these plus anyone else who wants to get along in the world. (N.B. not necessarily native English speakers. The most commonly spoken native language is Mandarin)

    in reply to: Telling parents about lifestyle changes #977285
    Redleg
    Participant

    In answer to PO’s question, there is no easy way to tell your parents about your current situation but nit is probably better to tell them then to have them find out through other means. Be prepared for a deal of turmoil anguish and recriminations. Make every effort to tell your parents that it’s not their failure, that nothing they did forced you away, that your lifestyle is not a reflection on their parenting, that you love and respect them, etc. but remember that they will be terribly hurt by your revelation. If they may, over time, come to terms with your decision.

    While they probably will never accept your lifestyle, they may still maintain a loving relationship with you. However, be prepared for the possibility of that they may totally, or almost totally sever relations with you. You seem like a level-headed, mature young man. Certainly your military service has taught you to prepare for the worst and that “no plan outlives contact with the enemy”, I.E. things are certain to develop differently from what you expect, at least in some respects. I wish you good fortune and hope and pray that you will eventually return to your people and your G-d.

    P.S. This fellow is an illustration of a point I have been making for years. OTD and “at risk” are not the same thing. “At risk” implies engaging in self destructive behavior. This guy isn’t a druggie, isn’t “hanging out”, Isn’t a threat to himself or others (yeah, except to his neshama). He seems rational, oisgehalten, put together, etc. The fact is some people simply come to the conclusion that Religion just isn’t for them, no risk involved.

    PP.S. MDD, you can be as judgmental as you like. Your judgment and and mine are worth bupkes. The only judgement that counts is that of the Dayan HaEmes.

    in reply to: Why do you believe in Science? #976835
    Redleg
    Participant

    TR, you go ahead and believe whatever you want. As I said, it makes no difference in your daily life. Oh by the way, your response to my post is total nonsense. It is not worth attempting refutation as your mind is made up. You are clearly guilty of the what you accuse others of being. You just go along on your merry way. Biz 120 we’ll see who was right, me or you.

    in reply to: Why do you believe in Science? #976823
    Redleg
    Participant

    I once had a conversation with my daughter along these lines. The question was whether Hashem created a tevah that runs the universe or does everything run by hashgacha pratios (hereinafter referred to as “HP”) ? It struck me at the time that if everything was HP, than the study of science is at least as important as the study of kabala. It turns out that HP is not random. It is quantifiable and predictable within both torah and scientific limits. Science is now essentially a window into the “Mind” of HKBH.

    Take gravity for instance. If, as a previous poster wrote, there is no law of universal gravitation but the apple falls to the ground because HKBH wills it, it is, then, davar kodesh to note that every apple all over the world falls in exactly the same way at exactly the same acceleration every time. HKBH’s will is so predictable that I can send a rocket to the outer planets by using the gravitational assist from “slingshotting” the rocket around Venus and I can calculate it and do it every time.

    So, from a practical standpoint there is no difference between tevah and PH. The scientific method works the same in either case.

    in reply to: Talking to Cousins #976420
    Redleg
    Participant

    FNY, your assertion that men do not have romantic feelings is obvious rubbish. It may (and I emphasize the word “may”) be that men are more physically driven than women, but every man who loves his wife gives the lie to to your statement. That’s “loves”, not “attracted to” or Infatuated with”. Anyway, this whole thread has gotten pretty far from the question of the OP.

    in reply to: Why do you believe in Science? #976817
    Redleg
    Participant

    TR, see the following

    1. Economics is not science

    2. No scientist claims that science is infallible. That’s why models are constantly tested.

    3. Scientists, being human after all, are just as prone to bad behavior as you or me. I’m reminded of R’ Noach Weinberg ZTL’s famous warning about not judging Judaism by actions of some Jews.

    4. Actually, weather prediction is pretty accurate given the enormous number of variables in the model. 3 day forecasts are usually right on the money. Longer range forecasts are much more difficult,

    P,S, A general note: When a scientist refers to a “theory”, he (or she) doesn’t mean what you mean when you use the same word. Lay people use the word “theory” to mean sort of a best guess. In science the word for that is “hypothesis”. A scientific “theory” is an explanation of a phenomenon that has passed all tests of it’s validity so far. If it continues to correctly explain and predict the phenomenon for all possible tests, it becomes a “law”.

    in reply to: Happy PI Day! #1228718
    Redleg
    Participant

    Phi (pronounced “fee” by engineers) is the square root of -1

    in reply to: Baruch Goldstein murders #976196
    Redleg
    Participant

    Ultimate, Perhaps those particular 12 Jews would have not been killed or maybe they would have been killed anyway. Certainly other Jews were killed in continuing Arab attacks and are being killed still today. You seem to be assuming that if Goldstein had not killed 29 Arabs then the Arabs would not have killed any more Jews. That is transparent nonsense. There may yet be peace between Israel and the Palestinian Authority but there will never be peace between the Jews of Israel and the Arab and other Muslim until we kill all of them or they kill all of us or they give up trying or we abandon Israel and our Faith. Make no mistake. Those who attack Jews in Israel don’t simply want to defeat and eliminate Israel, they want to eliminate Jews. I realize that is a hard calculus but sometimes that’s all there is.

    in reply to: How to enforce Tznius guidelines in a Kehillah #976158
    Redleg
    Participant

    Outsider, here are a couple of points. You are correct that a kehilla, or any private undertaking has the right to set and enforce dress codes and other rules of behavior (vide “no shoes no shirt no service”), but no individual in the group has such rights. The must be set by the kehilla as a whole, either by the governing board or by membership vote.

    in reply to: Baruch Goldstein murders #976191
    Redleg
    Participant

    Ultimate, your post seems to imply that Goldstein initiated a cycle of violence between Arabs and Jews. I hasten to point out that Goldstein’s actions were, themselves, in retaliation for previous Arab murders of Jews including the Jerusalem bus bombing and other, unanswered outrages. Goldstein was wrong to take matters into his own hands (He should have let the IDF handle things) but I can’t work up much moral outrage at what he did.

    in reply to: John Kerry For President #976073
    Redleg
    Participant

    I wrote the following when Kerry was running for President in 2004. My opinion of him has not changed.

    in reply to: Tznius or Shalom Bayis #977130
    Redleg
    Participant

    I wonder how many of the above posters who are so vehemently on the side of tznius vs sholom bayis are actually married. Just askin’.

    in reply to: Gerim wearing a blackhat (bend down) #975612
    Redleg
    Participant

    I’ve seen many pictures of rabbeim amd yeshiva leute (pronounce “light”) in Lite wearing grey hats (they are B&W photos so the hats could be other colors but they look grey in the photos) anyway, they’re not black. Every photo of my Elteren in Europe shows them wearing Litvishe yarmulkes, no hats of any color.

    in reply to: Talking to Cousins #976374
    Redleg
    Participant

    Marty G. in answer to your OP, it may be assur for a ben Torah to speak to his cousin, but it’s okay for you.

    in reply to: Talking to Cousins #976373
    Redleg
    Participant

    Interestingly, the legality of first cousin marriages seems to be a red state blue state issue where red states generally prohibit them and blue states generally permit them.

    in reply to: Father-in-law at Aufruf #1150075
    Redleg
    Participant

    Acuperma, Clearly large cities like Minsk or Vilna had many shuls. I don’t know about other shtetlach but the town my father came from, which had perhaps 500 Jewish families (which constituted the entire population of the town), had three shuls and a couple of shtieblach. It’s an old joke but it’s true. Every Jew has to have a shul that he won’t set foot in.

    Redleg
    Participant

    In the times of Bayis Sheini, most Jews lived in Chutz La’aretz. Being oleh regel from Bavel or from Greece was a major undertaking and not one that could be done every year, so when a family from, say, Bavel was able to make the trip for Yom Tov it was a very big deal. Many of the kehilos in Bavel maintained guest houses in Yerushalayim so when any of their mispallelim were oleh regel they had a place to stay. Reservations were, of course, required and had to be made well in advance, maybe years in advance, of the trip because, as you may imagine, finding a place to stay in Yerushalayim for Yom Tov wasn’t easy. Come to think of it, it’s not so easy today either.

    in reply to: At what point are you officially one side or the other? #983387
    Redleg
    Participant

    You know what? I dislike the term “Modern Orthodox”. Both of my parent’s (AH) came from Europe between the wars. They were Orthodox Jews. I was born into, and grew up, an orthodox Jewish home, went to an orthodox day school and Yeshiva. I’m an Orthodox Jew. It is Chareidism that is the modern innovation. Chareidim today are attempting to rewrite history by falsely claiming that they are carrying on an ancient tradition. Perhaps Chassidish tradition more closely resembles modern Chareidism but Chassidus, itself, is also a fairly modern construct. Any Jew from Talmudic times down to, perhaps, the time of the GR’A would simply not recognize modern Chareidi pracice and normative Judaism.

    in reply to: What would you have done if the world had ended? #975355
    Redleg
    Participant

    Durn those Mayans!

    in reply to: Is There a Doctor in the House? #974917
    Redleg
    Participant

    See a doctor immediately! N.B. Meesah (CVS) is also a kaporah but don’t think you’re ready for that

    in reply to: Changing to a different nusach #985393
    Redleg
    Participant

    It is my impression that such a switch requires hataras nedarim by a chacham

    in reply to: Intravenous Fluids on Yom Kippur #1104868
    Redleg
    Participant

    Oomis, that’s what I said in my first post/

    in reply to: Intravenous Fluids on Yom Kippur #1104866
    Redleg
    Participant

    You will notice that I qualified my post with phrases like “I think” and “it seems to me”. The above posts are are my opinion. Nothing posted on this blog by anybody should be taken as psak halacha. My views on the matter apply to me. If you agree, fine. if not, also fine. Gemar chasima tova.

    in reply to: Talking to Cousins #976362
    Redleg
    Participant

    First cousin marriages aren’t just socially unacceptable. They are illegal in 23 States.

    in reply to: Rabbi Lipman #974675
    Redleg
    Participant

    I wish to completely associate myself with the words of VM. As a talmid (albeit a poor one) of all three of the previous Roshei Yeshiva and as the father of a NIRC musmach, it is clear to me that R’ Feldman, Shlita public writings and utterances are significantly at odds with many of the views expressed and hanhagos followed by those who have gone before.

    Redleg
    Participant

    Actually, buffalo hunting is pretty boring. Most huntable buffalo are raised on private reserves where shooting one is like shooting a dairy cow. No “hunting” involved.

    in reply to: Not too yeshivish but not to modern #974648
    Redleg
    Participant

    Descriptions of personal hanhagos on shidduch questionnaires can get to the point of not describing anything. Can anyone tell me what “Chassidish but with it” means? (I’ve actually seen that self description on a shidduch questionnaire).

    in reply to: Intravenous Fluids on Yom Kippur #1104864
    Redleg
    Participant

    Yes Poskim have ruled on this, and yes, as I mentioned above, it is not “eating” but what about the assei? I think me and R’ Moshe, ZTL are on the same page about this. If a person has a legitimate medical reason, as determined by his or her doctor and competent rabbinic authority, to be oiver the assei, mutav, but just being uncomfortable, even very uncomfortable, doesn’t seem to me to be sufficient to be doche. And the less said about caffein suppositories, the better.

    in reply to: All Respectful Opinions Welcome #974617
    Redleg
    Participant

    More than the actual subject matter, the real danger is the culture shock. After being taught for eighteen years that modern secular culture is venal, shallow and a pointless pursuit of pleasure, our BY meideleh (or our BM bachur) gets to college and sees that it ain’t necessarily so. She observes that seculars can and mostly do, have happy, focused, fulfilling lives, and that college involves real intellect and scholarship. This often engenders doubt and causes her to begin to question what she was taught. Can you say, “slippery slope”?

    It has always seemed to me that it is counterproductive and dangerous to teach such derogatory things about the secular culture when anyone with half a brain and two eyes can see that it isn’t true. A better course would be to inoculate our kids against doubt by focusing, not on the superiority of our culture but on the singularity of our mission which is to be mekadesh shem Shamayim and Standard for the Nations.

    P.S. In the interests of full disclosure, I went to Engineering School where we only dealt with the minimum required Humanities.

    P.P.S. College or otherwise, I feel it is important to learn as much as one can about as many things as one can. There have been many times in my 43 year professional career when some random bit of unrelated information has proved relevant to a problem at hand.

    in reply to: Intravenous Fluids on Yom Kippur #1104862
    Redleg
    Participant

    Not sure what the OP is about. A person who needs an IV started is usually a choleh sh’yesh bo sakana in which case, what’s the shaileh? Are you speaking about folks who take regular infusions like for chemo?

    If a person is not really sick, just very hungry or thirsty, maybe feeling a little head-achy, An IV is cheating. Yeah, it lo c’derech achilah but, c’mon! It says v’anisem es nafshoseichem. your supposed to feel a little crummy.

    Another real cheat I’ve heard is coffee fiends using caffein suppositories to get their “fix”.

    in reply to: Drinking away a bad date #974298
    Redleg
    Participant

    OOMIS, An actual minhag to get sloppy drunk after a bad date? Ich hab kein mal night gehert. Can anyone define a “bad date” that would require drinking to oblivion?

    in reply to: Advertisements for a Web Filtering Service #975786
    Redleg
    Participant

    WIY, re: ‘shmutz” on the internet. Are you speaking from experience? You know, I’ve heard lots of horror stories about the evils of the internet, how it drives kids (and adults too) OTD, how it destroys marriages, ruins lives, etc., but I have never actually met anyone or knew anyone so affected. It’s always, ” heard it from a friend of a guy who knows someone…”. I’m sure that some folks, somewhere have a problem with Internet obsession (not “addiction”. See Just My hapence above) but I just don’t see it as a community crisis.

    Re: Filters. If you install a really effective filter on you machine, don’t expect to be able to do useful work on it and do expect occasional lockups. The best filter is the one between your ears.

    in reply to: How do I make myself unlikeable? #974838
    Redleg
    Participant

    I’ll solve your problem. I dislike you. Oh! you mean someone in particular.

    in reply to: How to enforce Tznius guidelines in a Kehillah #976108
    Redleg
    Participant

    Are you a board member or officer of your shul or is it just you being anal? Son, tznius isn’t for you to enforce, it’s for you to observe. We are now in the aseres yemei hateshuva. I’d be careful about judging other Jews if I were you. better worry about your own failings.

    As a practical matter, there is no way to physically enforce a shul dress code that won’t land you in court or, worse, jail. Just look the other way.

    in reply to: So We Should Feel Foolish #974777
    Redleg
    Participant

    Live Right, there is a remarkable similarity between your post and kishuf. What you are recommending is, essentially sympathetic magic. If you want a good year do the ratzon HaShem. Live right, do right, be right and be sameach b’chelkecha.

    in reply to: What does "dead eyes" mean? #972552
    Redleg
    Participant

    the Dead Eyes” that freaked out the OP’s sister were just unfocused eyes. Generally, when you are speaking to someone your eyes are focused on that persons face. Occasionally, when you might get momentarily distracted, you might loose let your eyes go to infinity focus so it looks like a dead stare. My wife gets on me for this once in a while.

    in reply to: Single Girl Doesn't Wanna Cover Hair #1036098
    Redleg
    Participant

    Those of you who opine that the din is that a married woman’s hair may not be seen are wrong. the ikkar din is that a married woman’s hair must be covered. A woman’s hair is so obviously not an ervah that it doesn’t require hesber The hair covering is a siman that the woman is married. A married woman who goes about with her hair uncovered is a prutza because she is, in effect, masquerading as an unmarried, and therefore available, woman.

    in reply to: Drinking away a bad date #974292
    Redleg
    Participant

    “I am with the parent who would not want the daughter to go out with a guy with such a minhag.”

    That’s okay. I wouldn’t want to go out with her daughter either. But, frankly, I can’t imagine a date so bad that one would feel the need to blot out the memory of it, unless the date involved the police, thousands of dollars in damages, a wrecked car, Mexican drug runners, etc.

    Having said that, however, there isn’t anything wrong with taking an occasional nightcap and you don’t even need an excuse for it.

Viewing 50 posts - 451 through 500 (of 510 total)