Forum Replies Created
Be well, Shana tova
After reading about your experiences and troubles, I understand much more than before about your perspective and your sentiment. No one should judge you after knowing what you’ve been through, but that shouldn’t mean people can expected to give the benefit of doubt in this scenario since the circumstances are very uncommon. Keep seeking the truth. Don’t draw conclusions from others’ mistakes.
Hashem relates to us as the Av Harachamim, an all merciful father. We are his children. However, He is also the Melech. He is our king. We cannot pick and choose which of His commandments to obey. It is futile to rationalize the purpose of the mitzvos. The king has commanded us to keep the mitzvos, and there is din vacheshbon for everyone. However stark this may seem, there is no need to despair or feel pressure. We must accept the reality and obey the Torah with joy.
As for connecting to Hashem through mitzvos, this is a very subtle connection felt exclusively by the soul. It is unlikely for most to feel this connection in this world with our physical bodies. The connection is definitely happening though, and the result will be manifest in the world to come.
See how the Ramchal explains this in derech Hashem for a full discussion. He says there that sometimes we may feel a much smaller effect of the connection that spills over from the actual connection happening. But it is just a much smaller he’arah from the greater one.July 16, 2021 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm in reply to: Are you allowed to give Tzeddakah/charity to Non-Jews #1992440
Also, it’s not unequivocally true that the us military serves no purpose to defend us and preserve our freedom today just because WWII is over. The entire world economy depends on US might. The US almost primarily patrols the world’s shipping routes. There are many other important things the military does aside from overseas skirmishes.July 16, 2021 2:37 pm at 2:37 pm in reply to: Are you allowed to give Tzeddakah/charity to Non-Jews #1992438
Aviradearah, the majority of Israelis know next to nothing about Torah and yiddishkeit. It’s this attitude towards ‘zionists’ that keeps the hatred for charedim burning. It is for us to stop ‘harping’ instead of sitting idly by while expecting them to understand. They hardly even know what shabbos and kosher really is. Why are we judging them so harshly as if they are mumar l’hachis. They know less about Torah than many Jews here in the US. It was a machlokes between Reb Elyashiv and Reb Shlomo Zalman whether Israelis are considered mumarim or tinokos shenishbu. I think we can safely assume (for the purposes of achdus, not necessarily halacha) that things have rapidly changed since then.
Also, no offense but I personally think just based on historical facts (aside from all the politics) that it’s just false to claim that Arabs were nicer before and the zionists made them hate us more. I think insisting on this whitewash of history would be ‘harping.’ Either way, it’s not relevant to today as last time I checked the medina was established more than 70 years ago so it’s too late to convince the Arabs to like us ‘again.’
I feel for you, but it’s important to not to generalize all orthodox Jews or further yet orthodox Judaism itself based on the conduct of individuals. Your mother needs to appreciate you for who you are, regardless of what her yenta friend says.
You don’t want to be judged by others, yet you seem to be doing exactly just that. I don’t know you personally, so I cannot acuse you of anything other than what you have admitted. The fact that you believe you have a better connection to the Almighty than others is clearly reflective of a tremendous gaavah (haughtiness).
There are few things which we can say about an individual that the Creator hates him. Unfortunately for you (and tragically), gaavah is something that Hashem hates someone for. You might want to reevaluate your loving connection with the All Merciful, especially before so harshly condemning others who are moser nefesh to keep the mitzvos.
I have ADHD. I personally prefer a minyan that’s not too slow and not too fast either. But what you want just seems like a major shlep. If you can’t say every word, then don’t! Keep to what’s absolutely required. It’s much better than having a miserable tfila every day.
Commonsaychel, you have the statistics or you’re just using your ‘saychel?’ I think it’s the other way around or lively the same exact rate. I don’t why you feel a constant need to spread malicious slander against other Jews (and Eretz Yisrael too). I think your saychel has brought you far enough. It’s your stop, you can get off here.
I think both are 100% true and don’t contradict one another. You find the thing you stumble over most often. That is what you must focus on because it is likely your purpose. Additionally, you discover something about yourself that you feel a strong netiya towards (inclination), something to build upon.
So you see, the two ideas go hand in hand together. One is a focus on the negative in which you need to channel that negative and construct it into positive force in your life. The other is a focus on the positive, something you feel within you which you can build into career of mitzvos – your very own field of expertise! Every one of us is a specialist in our respective careers of maasim tovim.
Full disclosure, I’m single so I cannot relate. Still, it seems like you need a new Rabbi yesterday. He may be an outstanding talmid chacham, but he clearly isn’t at all knowledgeable about adhd. He is giving you a bad eitzah. You should get a new Rabbi or at least have two, one of which can properly advise you.
Your wife doesn’t need you to be more like your neighbor, she didn’t marry your neighbor. She needs you to be the best YOU. There is only one you, so be yourself and be the best YOU can using only your strengths and potential. She will truly come to appreciate you and realize you are the best man in the entire world.
I have ADHD. I don’t perceive it as a problem, an obstacle, not even a disorder. It is who I am and part of my personality. It is what sets me aside from most. I think differently and see the world differently. Use it to your strengths. Take advantage of it. It is only a disorder in the eyes of others. It becomes a disorder for you when you succumb to other’s control. Don’t let them dictate to you about your perceived ‘disorder.’ If they want to help and give advice or words of encouragement, then that’s great. With more people, you can learn new insights. If they are just trying to be the opposition, the you must ignore them as if they were flies because that’s what they are to you.
Laziness and depression start to manifest from adhd only when you despair of hope. If you make a plan and set up a routine, (routine and focus is a major challenge) you’ll start to realize you’ve never had such good days in your life as these, and you’ll wonder at how awesome life can be. Forming a deep connection through tefila will also help immensely.
Zvid, Bruna, yeshayvav, Paltiel, elitzur, Chetzron, Elishama, Azariah, etc.
Why are these names and so many others from the chumash and gemara not in style?
Learn to make your own dips. They will be much more tasty than the store bought products. Take the extra money and give it to a yasom instead of supporting a rich man’s summer adventure
Yes. We are.
Not exclusively in regards to cases like this, but more so in how we allow the זפת שעל פני המים to enter our communities. It’s not a contradiction to be welcoming yet simultaneously steadfast and sharp.
ויקח לו את כל אלה ויוותר אותם בתבך
The artscroll Tisha bav anthology was put together during chol hamoed succos. It’s always appropriate to be מתחנן לפני השם. You could say it any day of the year. Omitting it from davening is different. We aren’t kovea it as a tziburMarch 30, 2021 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm in reply to: Biden administration renews $15m. in support to Palestinians #1961277
ואם מך הוא מערכךMarch 25, 2021 2:43 pm at 2:43 pm in reply to: Can Yeshivish families make aliyah with school age children? #1960672
It’s so obvious that the answer is no. Unless you have a rare perfect scenario that every one of your kids won’t be negatively affected, which is unlikely.
NonImpeditiRationeCogitationis, I wanted to reply earlier but didn’t have the time.
The way you understand our mesorah is in fact the exact opposite of what we believe. Literally, a 180 degree angle. You were clearly given terrible chinuch. Perhaps this year’s seder is an opportunity for you to relearn everything you thought you knew about Yahadus.
You think that there is Torah, and then there is emes. You think there are truths we deliberately ignore in order to prop up our religion which has already been shown to be fake due to certain contrary evidence. So we choose the fake Torah over emes. Nu, that’s pretty much what you said.
What you don’t know (yet) is that emes is above everything, and yes even above Torah because emes is unbreakable. (Torah is unbreakable because it is emes, but you don’t know that yet, no spoilers.)
Lu yitzur – theoretically, if something or someone came along that really does prove the Torah wrong, there is no question we would all throw away our tefillin and disavow yahadus and disregard it forever. Because emes comes first. We don’t ignore emes, we don’t break truth in order to prop up yiddishkeit.
The big spoiler is we already know 100% without any doubt whatsoever that משה אמת ותורתו אמת, that everything Hashem told our forebears is everlasting and infallible.
We also know that Hashem promised us that there will never be anything or anyone to change or dispel our testament. So when we do hear or see something that initially seems to show that the Torah made a mistake chalilah, it doesn’t take much more than a half of a brain to realize that patience is due and a solution I’d forthcoming. Sometimes we are able to see a clear answer relatively soon, other times it can be difficult to understand. But we know that ברי ושמא ברי עדיף. And the dvar Hashem is ברי, we already know the truth. So it doesn’t bother us if a שמא comes along because at the end of the day it won’t even be a שמא anymore.
Some people who didn’t receive a proper chinuch but merely got yahadus served in a tuna can and shoved down their throat will be extra concerned about these supposed new facts come to light. Those people never saw any light.
Take this Pesach as an opportunity to forget everything you got wrong about the universe.
How about focusing on the most important chinuch mitzvah of the year instead dishing out endless vertlach and pilpul
The answers aren’t pre determined to prop up our mesorah. It seems you are suggesting that the Torah is secondary to your assumptions of fact. Chalilah! It seems you are strangely misguided. Please set your logic straight for your sake!
תורה צוה לנו משה מורשה קהילת יעקב
אחזנוה ולא נעזבנה
There is no such thing as faith in Judaism. We have only knowledge and testimony. Faith is for the foolish Christians. Faith is for feeble minded idiots. One must know Hashem, not have faith. וידעת היום, אתה הראית לדעת
Emunah is mistranslated as faith. Emunah is trusting that Hashem knows best even when things seem dark and hopeless. That is not faith. That is like knowing that the pilot will land safely. Or that the architect will execute his blueprint. We know Hashem, we do not merely believe.
In reply to rightwriter, of course we have changed. Nations are constantly changing. We are the same nation and people as always because of how we identified as a nation from the very beginning. Each nation has a way of self determination. The Roman’s, Egyptians, Persians are all gone because they are currently nothing like they were before especially in regards to their respective expressions of national identity.
Am Yisrael continues it’s expression and core cultural aspects of yore ad hayom hazeh. See Rashi on the pasuk עמים הר יקראו
Rightwriter, the only wrench thrown is the wrench in your question. (No offense intended.)
Of course, the Italians and Persians are a continuation of the genetic lines of Rome and Persia, but they are completely different today culturally and are entirely different nations in every aspect. We are a continuation of the Jewish nation of then, as we are currently. Lack of sovereignty doesn’t mitigate the status of a cohesive nation or people. Though we are international and broadly diverse, we maintain our identity and distinctive existence as uniquely Am Yisrael.
As far as Languages go, they constantly change even within individual nations. Just look at the 2500 year linguistic histories of Germany and Britain. Our language evolved too, just like others. Notice how the words in Navi are different than Toras Moshe and evolve even from sefer to sefer.
Lashon Kodesh is indeed the original language, though it may have already evolved into many dialects by the time we stood at har Sinai.
Ujm, is this your opinion? Do you have a source?
There aren’t 2 million Jews in nyc, and definitely not 1 million frum Jews. There are only about 2 million frum jews worldwide
Some guys are happier with a girl who’s not so bright, and as long as they are able to impress the shver everything is good. Other guys want a girl who can think for herself and is able to use reason. In other words, someone who has seichel. Such a girl will have at least a little understanding that not everyone was created equal and that הכל לפי המצב. I can’t say you should look for a smart girl, but it’s the wiser thing to do. Have bitachon and daven.
I can’t speak for others, but my mother taught me when I was 4 years old not to be near strangers when I’m sick. It’s common sense. I’m shocked to see adults who don’t know better in this age of information. Where does this come from?
2scents, 100% yes! If someone has the flu and mixes with other people that person is a rotzeach. I’m surprised you had to ask that question thinking it was a point to prove your argument. Pshita
Forshayer, davening 50 apart outside isn’t a minyan even if there are a thousand people. Unless there are some kind of mechitzos or structure. Ask your rav
No, because Russia is a fake country
The responsibility of a rebbe or rosh yeshiva towards his talmid is forever. It doesn’t end after the talmid has left yeshiva. If your rebbe is not capable or not willing to be there for you, then he is not the right rebbe for you. Get a new rebbe or go back to the same yeshiva if you can. Also, try to communicate with your rebbe your concerns. You may be surprised.
Turkey or chicken pastrami
There are many geirim and BTs who are outstanding frum yidden who are available. Expand your network a bit. The main thing to look for aside from good midos is yiras shamayim and a strong שאיפות
You are not required by halacha to reveal your “issues” up until wedding plans are underway. The smart thing to do is not reveal these things until you’re both ready to get engaged. Of course the possibility of breaking up at that point is all the more heartbreaking and painful, but it’s the logical thing to do if it’s preventing you from getting married. I’d say at least 50% of women would not break it up at such a late stage into the relationship. What matters is how you explain it to her. Rehearse with a friend, talk to your Rebbe.
This may not be in accordance with halacha. Check with your rav. -29
I don’t know the halacha, but I think it’s right to keep paying yeshivos if one can afford it. I’m not sure I feel the same way about seminaries
Levi, I understand what you are saying and indeed you raise some interesting points of discussion. See this שקלא וטריא in which these questions are analyzed at length. למעשה, if the ger was frum if even for a brief period of time we say דברים שבלב אינן דברים and given that בית דין saw no sibah or siman to make us think the ger wasn’t mekabel we assume everything was kosher after we see he was frum initially. The Rambam writes that he has the din of a Yisrael mumar. (I only saw these just when I went over this )
I know that you have good intentions and מקנא לשם, so don’t take this personally.
I am neither a posek nor a talmid chacham, but I am sure of this as fact (Though of course it’s always good to discuss דברי הלכה with a talmid chacham).
There is no such precedent as אגלאי מילתא regarding קבלת עול מצוות. Whatever Beis Din has done is final. If a ger starts keeping mitzvos and conducting himself as a Jew for a period of time, that is sufficient to see that he has accepted the yolk of Torah. Although קבלת עול מצוות is an absolute requirement equal to Milah and Tvilah, as long we see that the ger in question has accepted, there is no going back. Were the ger to become a mumar afterwards, his status is still Yisrael. Even if the קבלה was שלא לשמה and not for fear of heaven such as for the sake of marriage, wealth, fear, etc. it is valid מה שעשה עשוי. In the case of the Cusim, they only accepted to keep the מצוות אלוקי הארץ because they were being eaten by lions, their status was Yisrael until the later Tanaim discovered that they were doing avodah zarah all along in secret.
In the case of ger katan, when the child comes of age there is a disagreement among the Rishonim as to how long must he or she be acting as a Jew to keep the status of Yisrael. After a certain period of time though, there is no going back.
I would really like to know who is this posek who told you otherwise. I highly doubt there can be any uncertainty regarding markiplier. If a proper Beis Din (technically even three Jews who are shomrei shabbos) did his geirus, it is absolutely final [definitely after being frum for certain time].
Of course of course I can be dead wrong and talking complete טפשות. So if anyone can answer me otherwise, please do.
It’s very important to watchful when talking about a specific individual. We don’t want to become מסיתים חס וחלילה. In a purely halachic setting דברי תורה have no restraints. Everyone please give your input.
Agav, I just read it and it’s a beautiful dvar Torah. I just don’t like the term cute dvar Torah.
If a dvar Torah is ‘cute’ it probably isn’t emes
I encourage you to reach out to Rabbi Yaakov Bender. It’s never too late for teshuvah. The Kudsha Brich Hu loves you more than you can fathom. In the meantime, just eat produce and groceries that have a hechsher like ou or starK etc. For Pesach, try to stick to fish, produce, eggs and dairy. As for living with gentiles, it’s not really problematic in terms of strict halacha. Of course it can be very detrimental for your spiritual health, and it is definitely not what your Creator wishes of you in the long term. Try to focus on only a few things. You cannot be a tzadik in the blink of an eye, but know that the instant you stir within yourself thoughts of teshuva, shamayim considers you to be completely righteous. הבא ליטהר מסעיין אותו.
If you don’t have a high school diploma or equivalent, the answer is none
Trotzsky was thrown out of yeshivaJanuary 14, 2020 8:12 am at 8:12 am in reply to: Why hasn’t the frumvelt embraced democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang #1822578
Simple math. If everyone gets a million dollars, then the economic starter is reset from zero dollars to 1 million. Yeshivas teach math, but yours apparently didn’t teach math or gemara. Or maybe it’s just you. Either way, pick up a gemara and you’ll understand a little more mathematics.
Also Eli’s in Beis Yisrael
Halo Teiman at the Yellow gas station by knisah la’irDecember 10, 2019 8:08 am at 8:08 am in reply to: Should bochurim in mesivta date/go into shidduchim? #1809625
Depends on the bachur. Why are you bringing this here?
If you like money, vote for Bloomberg
עמך בתורה ובמצותOctober 7, 2019 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm in reply to: Don’t harm a fellow Yid selling on Amazon, even if it helps you sell more. #1791900
I used to deliver uber eats, and many times I would deliver non kosher food to secular Jews. I asked a sheila and I it’s mutar because they know that it’s not kosher and they’d get it anyway.
אלו ואלו דברי חמורים חיים