Forum Replies Created

Viewing 50 posts - 1,401 through 1,450 (of 1,532 total)
  • Author
  • in reply to: Toilet Training #842535

    Don’t expect it to be successful on day 1. Or 2, or 3.

    You don’t need bribery, though some kids benefit from rewards. The best encouragement I’ve seen has always been telling the kid he’s going to be a big boy who can go to school, not need diapers, etc. Don’t be upset at him if he has accidents, but do praise success. Also, don’t let him use a diaper part of the day and not others, or diapers when out. Insisting on using the toilet throughout the day is important. Take him to try every so often.

    I’m sure others are going to say the exact opposite, but this was my experience :).

    in reply to: The Road Less Traveled #841748

    wow. thank you for sharing. I really needed to hear this now. Right after deciding i wanted to give up fighting.

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167722

    thank you MiddlePath. They definitely are holding me back from my dreams, tho are sure its for my good. And I have trouble standing up strongly enuf for myself sometimes… Its definitely frustrating+.

    Blabla- so so glad ur feeling better. i wish those emotions will quickly disappear. Feel bad the posts didn’t go through last nite and noone could be here with you.

    Most encouraging yet frustrating and daring line i was told this past week: “I don’t think you have it in you to give up fighting (for a particular thing), though i understand you want to.”

    in reply to: A new perpective on everything happening #841239

    thank you for sharing! so mind-opening and encouraging! May we all be zoche to see all the positivity of the world!

    in reply to: "Where Are the Men"-Article in last week's Mishpacha #844396

    adams- if it comes there, there are gemachs for 1-alternations, 2-clothes in new or gr8 condition, 3- $ for new tznius clothes. b’ezras Hashem it never should again!

    in reply to: sheet music for uray vanim #861336

    sorry, can’t find anything either. I’m sure if you want posters could make it up and post!

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167714

    why are you doing this?

    why are u doing it to me?

    whhy are you forcing me

    into something i say no to?

    you think it’s good for me

    i say no

    doesn’t my opinion count?

    overriding me again and again

    what else should i do?

    why won’t you listen

    to my heart, to my tears?

    don’t push me

    though you think you’re helping

    and i need you to force me.

    you are wrong.

    don’t do it

    the pain and regrets

    the damage seen next time ’round

    why do you refuse to listen

    why will you not hear?

    i cannot, will not

    yell myself hoarse

    if no hope of you accepting.

    what else, where should i turn

    who will let me choose if not you?


    in reply to: Mods, An Idea About Trolls #840450

    Shticky Guy- But what abt us quiet, innocent people who might have a question or discussion to start?

    in reply to: Carsick #840302

    oh i forgot to mention the best trick for not too long trips- mint gum!

    in reply to: Carsick #840299

    koillel101- interesting that u say to look out the window. From what i know that’s exactly why you get dizzy. i learned to only look out the front window, never the side, and that definitely helps for me.

    in reply to: Carsick #840295

    Many ppl i know say only Gravol company works :). I believe in store brands too. Fresh air- no air conditioners! Sleeping is the best solution, if you can sleep in a car/bus. Ginger, in candies version, (chewable) natural nausea tabs, or gingerale- unfizzed, also helps. i was a terrible traveler all my life (am) and gravol only worked for me past 17 or so. Before that, we got some medication to actually rub onto the stomach to numb it. sounds weird but it sure worked!

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167702

    recommend listening to Michoel Pruzansky’s Show Me the Way. Can help me feel, cry when i’m not too numb. The tefilla is all ours… The hashgacha pratis, the emotions…

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167700

    Thanks oomis1105 and MiddlePath.

    Day by day, i really appreciated ur piece and how it was written. i’ve felt that way… Why are there always ppl who blend into the wallpaper? especially in school….

    MiddlePath- Ur responses are so amazing and encouraging and individualized. Its so special!

    blabla- 🙁 Wishing you a much much better day tomorrow filled with smiles and warmth!

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167693

    doesn’t rhyme, doesn’t flow (well it does in my mind), but it’s what came out of my pen…

    one flame is still burning,

    the last flame of chanuka,

    ever smaller, weaker, less

    the chag is soon ending

    its ruchni boost dissipating

    to keep that in us is our test.

    the night has long fallen

    its darkness surrounds us

    yet one flickering flame holds strong

    pulling up every drop

    of life-giving oil

    it tries to last so long

    i want to catch that flame

    plant it inside me

    and never let it go out

    for my neshama, alike,

    a small, fluttering wick

    to grow bright, ignite, so proud

    no more flickering fire

    ‘neath winds of pain or doubt

    do i ever want to see again

    but for all those fires

    to burst out in flame

    feel the heat of love, not pain

    for the warmth to fill them

    to ignite their souls

    to never feel alone anymore

    to engulf heart and mind

    and erase every hurt

    from now and forever more

    come on, little flame,

    don’t give up, not yet

    you have such power n the little spark

    for you’ve done your job

    spread your flame within me

    shown me a light in the dark

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167691

    i hope my poems don’t get out to the world! 🙂

    No, sorry can’t help you. Though i know if i’d send an email to my contacts, and they liked it and forwarded it theirs… pretty soon i’d be getting it back 10 steps later…

    Hey yentingyenta! who’s comparing! Any piece anyone writes can interest or touch even one person and that’s all that matters! We’d love to see your work. Don’t rate yourself. We’ve seen here posters who thought their work was worthless, and was truly amazing. Join us!

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167687

    hey blabla, welcome back. u were missed around here! How are you?

    I second MiddlePath’s wedding compliment. Thats an amazing piece and really puts the emotions of the moment into words. I really like the baby poem- a start of a new life with all the opportunity it brings, to raise as well as one can…

    as for the first 2, :(. Time to go out with some friends, let loose, and have some fun and whole-hearted distraction! Tell those thoughts to take a break!

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167678

    sorry i write heavy stuff :).

    hey blabla, how are you? you also hiding out like me?

    in reply to: Light it up :-) #838648

    wow, that is beautiful and written so well! thanks for the inspiration!

    in reply to: Sleep-away camp for hyperactive boy #838060

    “for kids of all abilities” 🙂

    honestly, don’t know too much, but a neighbor of mine sent their son- 13 with ADD and shadowed in school- there, and were VERY happy

    in reply to: Sleep-away camp for hyperactive boy #838057

    camp kaylie?

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167652

    hi everyone, i’m back. PrincessEagle and MiddlePath, thanks so much for the concern. Its a good feeling to know ppl notice and care, and more than that, can verbalize it. I’m doing okay, up and downing. Fighting frustrations not depression right now. Thankfully! but frustrations are just that still- frustrating! and can still wipe me out and get me down. Wanted to post, but didn’t feel like i had words, not to vent my feelings, and not to reply to others. so i took a break. on top of that, someone did find out who i was here, and i’m adjusting to the idea of not being anonymous… Back for now though!

    Welcome to all new people! this thread is getting popular! a lichtige Chanuka to all and thanks for all your poetry!

    PrincessEagle- what else to add? you’re really someone special. And i’m so glad to have ‘met’ you.

    MiddlePath- your chizuk and outlook and bitachon is amazing and you so well pass it along. btw, i love reading your long essays and look forward to them. Such sensitivity, emunah, encouragement, care. and your individual responses always awe me.

    observanteen- a delayed welcome back!

    here i go- Your pieces are AMAZING! so good, and so much in them! Please please continue posting more!!

    blabla- i’m sorry your struggling and hurting. Reviewing pasts, taking yourself apart, the slow process, the pain, the challenges now… I wish there was a way to lessen your pain. Keep writing here! Stay strong!

    in reply to: song for dani king z'l #836475

    actually, dani king was the second bochur in the waterbury accident

    in reply to: study tips #835608

    WOW! if u were even able to finish that quik, u musta known something! :)i hope you made and surpassed your goal! I’ve still got one more exam! Enjoy your vacation and unwind!

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916200

    i’m pretty sure we’re all discussing halacha here and not opinion, so don’t get high-and-mighty.

    first of all, what difference does the wording betw those two make? why would one be muttar and the other assur?

    second, no, i wasn’t trying to chance what was said to prove i was right, because i think the halachos i quoted still old true. Yes i misquoted the original, not to twist it, but because i copied it from another poster on this page. innocent error. my stance still applies.

    i’m quite sure i admitted to possibly not knowing all halachos inside and out, but i sat with the C”C yesterday for an hour and those were quotes, not made up. If you give me a specific source in the C”C, i will gladly look it up.

    and again, the discussion lately here is not abt the commment on tznius- which holds true for someone speaking up against it- but abt the extra insult which i terribly misquoted. to speak up in a way to bring attn to her dress, yes. to embarrass additionally, and without basis or knowledge of truth in her words, no.

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167614

    Yes where are PrincessEagle and observanteen? it’s so lonely without you two. Especially since AYC left…. sigh.

    Come back encouraging, uplifting, ego-boosting posters! And MiddlePath- don’t you run off too!

    in reply to: Chanuka Presents #834496

    This q was actually just on Halacha For Today’s newletter. I’ll copy it here:

    Reader’s Question:

    Where is the makor (source) in minhagim seforim or even Halacha to give gifts on Chanukah?

    I strongly believe it is none other than chukas hagoyim one hundred percent.Chanukah gelt perhaps has a source, however, this business of giving gifts? Where does that originate from? I am hoping that perhaps you can change my opinion.


    The Poskim disucuss this and conclude that it isn’t a problem of Chukas HaGoyim, as in all likelihood the Goyim’s minhag of giving gifts on their holidays was taken from us and not vice verca. (See Emes L’Yaakov from Rav Yaakov Kamenetskky Zatzal Siman 670 in the footnote.)

    The Ponovez Rav, Rav Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman Zatzal said that after the greeks forbade the Jewish children from learning Torah, their parents had to “bribe” them with gifts to get them to learn once again. Giving gifts on Chanukah commemorates that aspect of the Chanukah miracle.

    Indeed, children should be told when receiving gifts that it is for this reason and that they are expected to increase their Torah learning because of the gifts. (See Sifsei Chaim from Rav Chaim Friedlander Zatzal; Moadim Vol. 2 page 134)

    See also Shu”t Avnei Yashfeh Vol. 1 Siman 129:2 and Sha’arei Halacha U’Minhag Vol. 2 page 283

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916193

    mdd- if we’re dispensing mussar and its for a purpose, no hard feelings involved, may i suggest you learn hilchos onaas devorim. I’d be careful before accusing anyone of anything, if they’re NOT doing an aveira which you believe would mattir it, so don’t accuse Aries of ignorance nor Sam2 of misplaced priorities. Learning how to be sensitive in speech is part of the teachings of the chofetz chaim. maybe reread sefer shmiras halashon. The chofetz chaim foundation also has an amazing sefer called positive word power. Not giving you a psak! just my opinion! And lets all try to keep the discussion practical and not turn it into personal attacks from now on. (i know that was soo hypocritical of me :), but i wanted to get that out- not a personal attack. I apologize if it came out that way)

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916184

    there are many ways to be dan l’kaf zchus the lady for commenting on the tznius violation, and it may be muttar. the extra comment “her relative should be ashamed of her”…

    “it is forbidden to say a/t about a person that might embarrass him if it were to be repeated in his presence… unless its for a constructive purpose.” what constructive purpose was there in that? being an opinion, not fact, also makes it hotzaas shem ra. only about a mumar l’hachis is it muttar to focus on his negatives-but still only facts. “however, one who sins out of ignorance or temptation is in the category of amecha and is forbidden to speak l”h about.”

    i know, its terrible to quote an English sefer Cofetz Chaim, but its easier to type.

    in reply to: study tips #835599

    Breaks!! Come to the coffee room, go get yourself a coffee, take a walk around the block, or just close your eyes. I know the feeling… I’m a bad procrastinator on top of it. Studies have shown your brain works at max for 40 min, then needs a break. So if you can take just a 5 min time out every 40 min (or 60, or 80….) you’ll do yourself a world of good. Also, its a break to look forward to when you can’t concentrate, cuz its just 15 more min til a break…. On top of that, i need a longer break every 3 hrs or so. I like background noise, others do music. Or if you need quiet, at least make noise in your breaks. Let your brain cool down-its working overtime, and don’t need it overheating, let alone frying! Let us know how ur final goes! Hatzlocha!

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916171

    “It probably is a good idea for you not to say Mutter or Ossur -it doesn’t sound like you have such a handle on Halacha like some of us here.”

    Ouch. Can’t say i’d know if you have better halachik knowledge than me or not. I do know that i do try to be careful, and i have learned sifrei chofetz chaim and abt giving tochacha and about whats muttar to say or not, many times, alone, from teachers, and from rabbanei ha’ir.

    You too only claimed you are “pretty sure that that comment is Mutter”. And I feel it is assur. to each their own? I am staying away from paskening because i am not a posek and have no desire to give others a psak. both sides were already argued, and it seems most the posters are stuck on their opinion, not really listening to find an answer. I avoided that conversation, and stepped back on my opinion too already. Each can go to his own sforim and Rav for a psak. I only commented on the biting comments and put downs that were going out. Like this one above? If you’d sent that line to someone else, i’d also comment to you.

    Thank you MiddlePath for your moral support. I really appreciate it!

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916166

    Health-meant i’m not getting into the discussion of whether it was muttar or not, cuz thats a halacha q. But i’m quite sure that the ‘hurting the relative’ comment was assur.

    mdd- if you never speak loshon hora or do onaas devorim or have taivos from pritzus, then yashar koach, and i’m very impressed and i’m sorry i doubted you.

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916157

    Because we can’t know who is working on something or not, we have the chiyuv of being dan l’kaf zchus. Its not outrageous to assume that someone is working on something, so shouldn’t we? Being dan l’kaf zchus is a bigger thing than many ppl realize…

    I have also learned abt giving mussar to others. You can ask your Rav for his say, but I learned that nowadays, tochacha isn’t that simple. I was taught to only speak up if #1 there’s a realistic chance that the receiver will accept it. That means knowing them, and being close and caring. It means not speaking up if you are upset or were hurt by them. An example I recently heard was, being in a store, and someone taked something out of your cart. If you don’t care to give it up, but feel the person needs a lesson in behaviour, you shouldn’t speak up, because you were insulted.

    Based on what I learned, I think for us to judge OP or make assumtions or accusations would be unfair and wrong. Whether or not the woman was allowed to speak to the friend abt the tznius (NOT abt hurting the relative), and whether or not the OP should have gone out are halachic shailos, but not for us to judge…

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167601

    Think first-That is beautiful! The poem and the conversation it holds! So true, so important.

    Blabla- how u feeling? How was shabbos?

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916147

    “i had actually done something about it but it hadnt worked, and i was really working on it.”

    sounds to me like she did try. hard. and yet, even when we try, we do fail sometimes, don’t we?

    Yes a breach in tznius can affect other people too. (though we don’t know if any men saw OP-it was a woman who commented). Speaking loshon hora also affects people, and we cannot say which is the worse aveira. Can you expect ppl to always be able to stop themselves and never fall? You can hope, but if we didn’t have these struggles, and falls, what would be the purpose in life, no? (NOT trying to get into that discussion 🙂

    For some ppl tznius is easy, and not they’re area of challenge. Some cannot understand the challenge even. But it is there for others! and we can’t blame them for needing to work on something. Only commend them for recognizing this struggle, and working on it!

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916139

    oh, come on. You’ve never struggled and failed? Getting insulted/mussar -whether its right or wrong- hurts most then. Instead of comparing it to motorcycles… how abt when you know you should get up early and get ready so you won’t be rushed and stressed later, and you have an internal battle and then hit snooze. if s.o. tells you, well you shoulda got up early!, doesn’t that hurt? you know u struggled.

    or a different view: OP said she tried fixing it, but failed, and went anyhow. how about if you planned on going to a wedding/parlor meeting and your ride fell through. You could technically find another way, but don’t.

    You know what you’re wearing may not be topnotch for that circle, and you may even know you’ll get looks. but you go anyhow to be mesameach choson v’kallah. No one can know which was more important.

    yasher koach to OP for working on your tznius, and struggling to fix it before you went. As far as i know, we all struggle and fail, and that is the learning and growing experience.

    Side point: Tznius is compared to limud torah, not a man’s yetzer hora for pritzus. Compare struggling to concentrate and not get distracted or take coffee/shmooze breaks to constantly being aware of tznius. Overcoming a challenge equates to scheduling and extra hour in of learning- neither is a one time thing.

    pba- +1! and for keeping your head and your cool.

    in reply to: INTERNET LOCK #834413
    in reply to: If You find Free Jewish Sheet Music Post It Here #902246

    thank you so much, dash and yenta, i’l chk those out!

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167598

    Think first- u really can do poems- and so well and powerfully! Songs are poetry, so why not :). please keep them up!

    Puppy-welcome back! you had great pieces in the past, and you still do! The wanderer poem has such a nice message, it touched me reading- “he falls in too, to comfort from within.” got me thinking how many people i would do something like that for, and who’d do the same for me…. If you can count one, you have what to appreciate!!

    PE- Thanks so much :]. i’m avoiding your q, cuz i’m not sure. Feel like i’m on a precipice and we’ll see which way i fall. But i’ll speak confidently and say doing good, still going 🙂

    in reply to: what happens when a shadchan doesnt cooperate properly? #834072

    She may know her hilchos loshon hora and not be allowed to say anything, or she may just not see the compatibility, or she may not like to take others suggestions… don’t read into it too much

    in reply to: DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! #916063

    Winnie the Pooh: People who don’t think probably don’t have brains; rather, they have grey fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake.

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167586


    You can cope

    You can go on

    It soon will all be done

    The pain, the hurt

    The struggling

    replaced with joy and fun

    the carefreeness

    and laughter

    will be your constant friend

    Cuz you’ll come through

    And stronger yet

    By holding on til its end

    Don’t let the shadow

    or the darkness

    Stop you from your walk

    Rebut its words

    its insulting

    teach it sweeter talk

    And turn this challenge

    upside down

    Make it your source of growing

    As you overcome

    and it pushes

    you to keep on going

    it can be the block

    in your way

    that continues to hold you back

    or the fuel inside

    that drives you

    always farther down the track

    don’t give up

    hold on tight

    know you will soon overcome

    believe in yourself

    and the power your have

    and know what you can become

    in reply to: If You find Free Jewish Sheet Music Post It Here #902243

    The shwekey link doesn’t work. Does anyone know where to get sheet music?

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167583

    think first- wow…. So powerful, so emotional. Beautifully written too. You are right, we’re all given the exact circumstances for our mission. Whether it seems pleasant or painful, our challenges are ours to grow from and build on… I so glad you expressed it so clearly and in a touching way. The cigarette burn story is soooooo powerful. i should bookmark it to read to myself and others when in a tough time. so poignantly rhymed… Thank you for these all

    in reply to: females drinking #834169

    because of second and third hand smoke

    in reply to: How to fight CR addiction #834455

    Just remember to copy Jothar’s undo directions before you block yourself from accessing them 🙂

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167577

    Did you mean ICOT? cuz i don’t think i mentioned parents….

    But i hope ur reply was in regards to speaking to your parents.

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167574

    Blabla, princesseagle, observanteen- Thanks so much for ur kind words and compliments! I really thought twas a bad post, but i’ll reconsider now! 🙂

    Thanks for the ego-boost!

    in reply to: seminary interview ;-{) #834197

    tell them y u want to go to this seminary and what u hope to gain. Why this would be a good sem for you over another…

    in reply to: What's the Idea with College? #835491

    just a point: A work environment is usually more focused on work, than people roaming around between classes, looking to chat.

    i love coffe: do u agree that a jewish psychologist would be first choice? I would be scared of the anti-Torah values.

    in reply to: ATT POETRY PEOPLE #1167571

    blabla- showed a friend one of ur poems (hope u don’t mind?)

    wanted to share her response: wow she really writes amazing and expresses herself so well! she expresses what i can’t

Viewing 50 posts - 1,401 through 1,450 (of 1,532 total)