simcha613

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  • in reply to: Ethical Orthodoxy #2156679
    simcha613
    Participant

    The way I understoof the manifesto in Halachic terms is to preclude an ethical “naval birshus haTorah.” In other words, halacha is not unethical, but one can be an Orthodox Jew and a Shomer Torah UMitzvos while still being unethical. There are so many parts of our lives and aspects of our personality that aren’t directly regulated by the Torah that one can do many ethical things and retain many negative midos while still claiming to be a shomer Torah uMitzvos. Ethical Orthodoxy is the effort to preent that from happening by ensuring that ethics and Torah values (which are obviously not mutually exclusive) direct every aspect of our lives.

    in reply to: Meikil=Less Religious? #2135720
    simcha613
    Participant

    Every situation and shaila is different and there is no one cut and dried answer in either direction. Which is why even attitudes like UJM “Being meikel for the reason that it’s easier to be meikel, is inherently worse.” might be inherently flawed as well. We just learned in daf yomi the shitah that a Nazir has to bring a Chatas because even though there is a purpose for some people to being a Nazir, and a Nazir is viewed as being a very holy individual, he has still sinned by withholding from himself some of the pleasures of this word. Sometimes the easy path is the right path, and choosing the more difficult one is not approproiate. Obviously you have to know yourself and be as unbiased as possible, as well as relying on a Rav who you trust to be knowledgeable and yashar, but an unecessary chumra (even in an effort to follow “all the shitos”) which leads to a limitiation of pleasure may also be incorrect.

    in reply to: The great Uniter in Chief 🙄 #2120584
    simcha613
    Participant

    CA- do the Republicans who denounce left wing extremists also denounce the right wing ones? Usually not.

    in reply to: Protecting the innocent and false accusations #2045709
    simcha613
    Participant

    The Little I Know- I agree with some of what you say, disagree with others… but one thing in particular that I want to point out is the potential danger of the accused remaining anonymous. Let’s ignore the fact that people won’t know that he may be a danger to the vulnerable, and won’t protect themselves or their children suffciently, but what is going to happen if he remains anonymous? He temporarily loses his job as a precaution but no one knows why? It’s done silently and off the record? This kind of situation can lead to him finding another job with a potential new pool of victims. Maybe not in that community, maybe not even in that state, but if his alleged crimes remains hush hush, then that leaves open the possibility for his alleged crimes to continue. It’s certainly damaging and unfair if he is in fact innocent, but that’s the essence of the question, do we sacrifice public and child safety to protect the potentially innocent? And I’m not sure if that’s something we can sacrifice.

    in reply to: Protecting the innocent and false accusations #2045537
    simcha613
    Participant

    My mistake. Will repost with the appropriate changes

    in reply to: Women Learning Gemara #2015869
    simcha613
    Participant

    I researched this topic back in my youth, and I wanted to share my thoughts.

    It’s not so clear from the Rambam and S”A that women aren’t allowed to learn Torah Shebal Peh. Even though the S”A says that one who teaches his daughter Torah it’s as if he taught her “tiflus” (tiflus being something negative), the S”A also say that women receive sechar for learning it! Now if the S”A was saying that it is assur, the S”A wouldn’t have said they get a reward for doing it. The S”A just says it can’t be taught to them which I understand to mean that it is not allowed to be imposed on them, however if they learn it by choice, then they receive reward.

    One also has to factor in (based on the S”A and the Rama) that a woman does not have a chiyuv to learn Torah which has no practical application, and has a chiyuv to learn Torah that has practical application (halachah, mussar, Tanach [Gemara in Megilah says that the only nevu’os that were recorded were those who’s messages are meant for all generations, therefore Nach is practical], etc…). It’s a positive thing to learn the areas which have no practical application (the S”A says they receive reward), it’s better than wasting time, but it’s not a chiyuv.

    Based on this, I think there are 4 criteria that need to be met for women to learn Gemara:

    1) They have to want to do it.

    2) It has to be for lishmah reasons, not feminist reasons.

    3) They need a teacher to guide them in the right way to learn Gemara.

    4) It can’t come at the expense of learning those areas of Torah that are a chiyuv for them to learn, but it can only come at the expense of things that are reshus (learning secular subjects, going shopping, etc…).

    in reply to: Women Learning Gemara #2015868
    simcha613
    Participant

    It’s not so clear from the S”A that women aren’t allowed to learn Torah Shebal Peh. Even though the S”A says that one who teaches his daughter Torah it’s as if he taught her “tiflus” (tiflus being something negative), the S”A also say that women receive sechar for learning it! Now if the S”A was saying that it is assur, the S”A wouldn’t have said they get a reward for doing it. The S”A just says it can’t be taught to them which I understand to mean that it is not allowed to be imposed on them, however if they learn it by choice, then they receive reward.

    One also has to factor in (based on the S”A and the Rama) that a woman does not have a chiyuv to learn Torah which has no practical application, and has a chiyuv to learn Torah that has practical application (halachah, mussar, Tanach [Gemara in Megilah says that the only nevu’os that were recorded were those who’s messages are meant for all generations, therefore Nach is practical], etc…). It’s a positive thing to learn the areas which have no practical application (the S”A says they receive reward), it’s better than wasting time, but it’s not a chiyuv.

    Based on this, I think there are 4 criteria that need to be met for women to learn Gemara:

    1) They have to want to do it.

    2) It has to be for lishmah reasons, not feminist reasons.

    3) They need a teacher to guide them in the right way to learn Gemara.

    4) It can’t come at the expense of learning those areas of Torah that are a chiyuv for them to learn, but it can only come at the expense of things that are reshus (learning secular subjects, going shopping, etc…).

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1571296
    simcha613
    Participant

    I have to say, this is an absolutely fascinating conversation. Permit me to summarize what I’m reading so I can be corrected if I misunderstand something:

    Ubiquitin- There is no value in allowing our enemies to massacre it. There is no reason to be led like sheep to the slaughterhouse. If our enemies are committing genocide against us, even if we have no chance, it is a Kiddush Hashem to go down fighting. We cannot just allow our enemies to send us to the chambers without fighting for our lives… as futile as that fight may be.

    Joseph- It is absolutely prohibited to do anything that can lead to a shortening of human life. If a fight against our enemy is futile, then there is no point in fighting them, even if we are going to die anyways, even if we are going to be led to our deaths like sheep to the slaughterhouse. If we give our enemy an excuse to kill us and our fellow Jews by fighting them in a futile attempt to stop their genocide, then it is as if we are responsible for the lives they take. There is no excuse for causing the premature loss of life if there is no chance of success.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1569633
    simcha613
    Participant

    Regarding the sirens being a Goyish practice, it’s not so clear how strong that argument is.

    Using silence as a response to tragedy is a very logical response. We take a second to shut down what’s going on around us to think about the tragedy that we are mourning about. It’s hard to say that something this logical, something not based in avodah zarah, is something that Goyish.

    Not only that, but it also has roots in the Torah and Chazal. When Nadav and Avihu died, Aharon was silent. Iyov’s friends sat in silence with him for seven days.The Gemara in Berachos 6b says that “the merit of attending house of mourning lies in maintaining silence.” Even in our Mesorah, silent contemplation, expressing silent solidarity with our brethren, is a very Jewish concept indeed.

    Using a siren to signal to the masses when to be silent together, as a tzibur, to commemorate a national tragedy, is pragmatic. The fact that we took that idea from the Goyim doesn’t make it anymore of a Goyish practice then using the styles of Goyim (like a suit and tie), using their inventions (cars and planes), or their ideas (I would assume many fundraising, education, and kiruv strategies are based on strategies that were discovered and developed by non-Jews). Non-Jews can have good ideas too, and when they aren’t based in Avodah Zarah, we can utilize those ideas for a higher purpose.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1569060
    simcha613
    Participant

    Lasekrn- I think I partially agree with you. I’m not talking about establishing a new day of commemorating the Holocaust lechatchilah or replacing Tishah BeAv c”v. I am talking about that now, once another day exists, is there a value in commemorating the Holocaust together as a people as a whole in addition to Tishah BeAv? As a secondary question, if not observing Yom HaShoah (specifically not pausing in silence during the siren) causes offense and hurt to other Jews who do take the Holocaust siren seriously, is that not reason enough to pause… especially during the time of year when we are trying to rectify “lo nahagu kavod zeh lazeh?”

    Joseph- Let’s ignore for the fact that appreciating the chessed that America does for us while ignoring all of the chesed that Medinas Yisroel does for us is quite confusing to me… standing for the siren on Holocaust Memorial Day is not about recognizing the medina, it’s about memorializing the Holocaust. Is the hate for the medina so strong that you are willing to ignore a Holocaust memorial siren because of your attitude towards the medina? Even if you felt that the siren has no inherent value, is the hate to the medina so strong that you can rationalize offending and hurting other Jews by ignoring the siren they take so seriously just because of your attitude towards the medina?

    Bowing to the pope seems to be a poor comparison as that at the very least smells of avodah zarah. It is likely assur D’Oraysa and offending others is no excuse. As far as I know, there is no issur to stand for the siren. Even if you want to somehow argue it’s Chukas HaGoyim (which I think is a very hard argument to make), it’s no more Chukas HaGoyim then standing for a secular national anthem which doesn’t seem to bother you.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1568867
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph… It’s interesting how you say the holocaust happened because of “our” sins but then you proceed to list flaws in other groups and sects of Jews. It’s always easy to claim tragedies happen due to our sins without the need to do any selfies introspection… Since it was everyone else’s fault.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1568871
    simcha613
    Participant

    I imagine most people would stand for the United States anthem so as not to offend people. And yet it’s okay to offend other Jews by not standing during the siren in memory of the Holocaust? If it’s not prohibited to stand during the siren, what gives us the right to ignore their sensitivities and do something offensive? We’re allowed to cause hurt to other Jews just because they’re secular?

    and maybe they should respect our right to ignore their memorial siren, but because they’re doing something wrong, that gives us the right to do something wrong to them? That gives us the right to offend and hurt them?

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1566030
    simcha613
    Participant

    “Who are they that we should obey them?” It’s unfortunately that attitude that just leads to more division. We wouldn’t be obeying them, we would be joining them. I wish that they would be ovdei Hashem just like we are, but they are still our brothers… and they are commemorating a tragedy that affected us both together. Secular and religious Jews entered the gas chambers together, and yet we still have the attitude “who are they that we should obey them.” It doesn’t matter who is separating from who, what matters is who has the power to join together. Maybe I just think too highly of us, but I was always under the impression that we have more of an ability to extend our hand then the reverse.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1565998
    simcha613
    Participant

    AY- which is why it’s not ideal to have Yom HaShoah in Nissan. If it were in the hands of the religious to decide, it likely would have been a different day… or maybe not even a separate day at all. My point was, now that Yom HaShoah does exist in this unideal time of year, should we separate from our fellow (albeit secular) Jews in commemorating the Holocaust on that day or join together? The fact that Chazal did enact nihugei aveilus during Nissan just demonstrates that it’s not a hard and fast prohibition… otherwise they wouldn’t have been able to do that in the first place.

    Interestingly enough, the nihugei aveilus during sefirah are to commemorate and rectify the sinas chinam that caused the deaths of R’ Akiva’s students. Chazal seemingly felt that the rectification of sinas chinam (or the rectification of not treating each other with respect) is a strong enough value that it warrants nihugei aveilus even in the happy month of Nissan. One can argue that choosing to separate from our fellow Jews in commemorating the Holocaust, something that my inadvertently cause an increase in sinas chinam and creates the impression of disrespect for one another, is taking the opposite message from Chazal who seemed to prioritize the evils of sinas chinam and disrespect over the happiness of Nissan.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1565679
    simcha613
    Participant

    DovidBT- I understand what you were trying to do. But you were comparing violating avodah zarah for the sake of achdus and commemorating a tragedy on a day other then Tishah BeAv for the sake of achdus. They are not the same. It’s not even clear that having a special day to commemorate the Holocaust is against halacha as we have other examples… mourning the crusades during sefirah, tach vetat on 20 Sivan… which only makes your comparison that much more ridiculous.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1565621
    simcha613
    Participant

    I never really understood the problem of Yom HaShoah during Nissan. I mean, I understand it’s a happy month… but we do sad things also. We observe nihugei aveilus for the death of R’ Akiva’s students during Nissan. We say Av HaRachamim even on Shabbos Mevorchim in commemoration of the Crusades in Nissan. So it’s not like commemorating tragedies is something that we completely avoid in Nissan.

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1565594
    simcha613
    Participant

    DovidBT- Just to understand, you’re comparing celebrating Jesus with commemorating the Holocaust?

    in reply to: Tishah BeAv and Yom HaShoah #1565382
    simcha613
    Participant

    DovidBT- Then you misunderstand this discussion. For anyone whose Tishah BeAv will be diluted by a separate Holocaust memorial day, are already utilizing a separate Holocaust memorial day. My question was, for those of us who recognize Tishah BeAv for what it truly is… and who are commemorating the Holocaust on Tishah BeAv anyways… shouldn’t we also join in achdus with our fellow Jews to commemorate the Holocaust together, as one, on Yom HaShoah… even if it’s not on the day we think is ideal?

    in reply to: Parnassa from Hashem? #1564143
    simcha613
    Participant

    The Mon fell from shamayim.. but Klal Yisroel had to go out to get it. The less of a tzadik you were, the further you had to go to get your portion. We who are even lesser tzadikim have to walk very very far to get our parnassah that God sends from Heaven.

    in reply to: What is your greatest fear? #1541312
    simcha613
    Participant

    For my children to be taken away from me.

    And clowns.

    So I guess… for my children to be taken away from me by clowns would be the absolute worst.

    in reply to: Pictures of women in frum magazines and advertisements #1502594
    simcha613
    Participant

    Gadol- I wasn’t trying to argue that whatever can be a stumbling block to someone else should therefore never be promoted or sold. My point was, once frum magazines are doing that by refraining from showing pictures of tzanua women, then they should be consistent with their policy and refrain from printing advertisements which are likely an even bigger concern for more people.

    in reply to: Pictures of women in frum magazines and advertisements #1502593
    simcha613
    Participant

    Gadol- I wasn’t trying to argue that whatever can be a stumbling block to someone else should therefore never be promoted or sold. My point was, once frum magazines are doing that by refraining from pictures of women, then they should be consistent with their policy and refrain from advertisements which are likely an even bigger concern for more people.

    in reply to: Are Chareidi women judges the wave of the future? #1481863
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph- I’m assuming the rule that women shouldn’t be in the public arena or that they shouldn’t do anything that could distract them from their domestic responsibilities is waived when being the primary family bread-winner in order to enable a husband to learn Torah full time?

    in reply to: Building the Beis HaMikdash #1464453
    simcha613
    Participant

    Catch- unless we can apply the concept of tumah hutrah betzibur

    in reply to: Religious zionists #1417420
    simcha613
    Participant

    I can’t speak for other Religious Zionists, but my personal understanding of the medina’s relationship to the final geula is how it facilitated and continues to facilitate kibutz galuyos. One of the most important aspects of the medina since the beginning is the right of return which gives all Jews automatic citizenship to the medina if they want it. In this way, the medina has enabled an incredible amount of Jews to return to the Land of Israel, to the point where almost 50% of our nation has returned to our Land. Assuming kibutz galuyos is a return of our people to our land, and that kibutz galuyos is an essential component of the final geula, I find it hard to separate the medina from the ongoing kibutz galuyos and the final geula.

    in reply to: Innocent until proven guilty #1316995
    simcha613
    Participant

    “Each Dayan who votes guilty must truly believe with his entire heart and soul that the evidence proves beyond *any* doubt that the accused is absolutely guilty, in order for the Dayan to be permitted to vote guilty.”

    Is that true? Even if a Dayan thinks a person is guilty… like because of the evidence he is 75 or 85% sure he did, he still can’t vote guilt chayav unless he is 1005 sure without any doubt in his mind? Do you have a source that a judge can only vote guilty if he is 100% sure even? Someone, including a judge, can believe something to be true without being convinced to 100% certainty.

    in reply to: The Chillul HaShem in Lakewood #1309009
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph… What’s שקר וכזב? Are you saying they didn’t do what they’re accused of… Or anything similar that might constitute bending the law? That everything they did was 100% ישר? Or are you arguing that what they did wasn’t really so bad as there is nothing halachically/morally wrong with trying to get as much as we can from the government?

    On a related note… Do you feel that we have acquired realization that there is a serious problem in our community? Or is today no different than last week as no one is doing anything dishonest anyways and we are just exaggerating over a completely false claim?

    in reply to: The Chillul HaShem in Lakewood #1308975
    simcha613
    Participant

    Health-care are you suggesting that the Rabbonim won’t come out forcefully against this fraud because that might turn people off to utilizing government programs and assistance (legally or illegally) which might hurt Kollel enrollment as that is a significant portion of their income?

    in reply to: What does Zionism mean to you? #1269149
    simcha613
    Participant

    DY- you have to take everything in context. In 1948, just three years after the end of the Holocaust… Hisgarus b’umos wasn’t a top concern.

    in reply to: What does Zionism mean to you? #1269103
    simcha613
    Participant

    And that’s certainly a legitimate approach.

    in reply to: What does Zionism mean to you? #1268955
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph- I didn’t mean they weren’t answered. I meant that they weren’t answered by the classic halachic compendiums that I listed. Of course they were answered in different ways. And you are illustrating my point exactly, each side thinks theirs is the only pshat. There doesn’t seem to be any אלו ואלו even though there is no clarity in the Gemara itself and those Rishonim/early Achronim I listed don’t discuss it (even though those are the starting point in determining psak halacha). It seems strange that each side is so militantly against any other possible interpretation. Even Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai seemed to have more respect for each other’s position when they were arguing about far more serious matters like yibum vs. giluy arayos which led to mamzerus. As I also mentioned, I think the timing of יום העצמאות is sending us a message to be a little bit more respectful of the other side. There is not just one way to answer those questions.

    in reply to: What does Zionism mean to you? #1268917
    simcha613
    Participant

    The 3 shevuos are incredibly vague and without a psak in the normal sources (Rosh, Rif, Rambam, Tur, Shulchan Aruch, Rama) many basic questions remain unanswered… How exactly do you violate them? Who is the prohibition on? Until when are they in force? Are they dependent on one another? What are the practical ramifications for future generations if they are indeed broken?

    Obviously Satmar and many Charedim have one approach and Dati Leumi have a different approach and there are presumably hybrid approaches in answering these very basic questions… But אלו ואלו… It’s a dispute and each side should be respected. For some reason, both sides take their interpretation as the only interpretation which is not the way we approach most other areas of halacha.

    It’s no coincidence that יום העצמאות falls out during the time period when we are supposed to be correcting לא נהגו כבוד זה בזה.

    in reply to: Shaving for Shidduchim during Sefirah 👨 #1267462
    simcha613
    Participant

    I think it would be quite extreme for a girl to be repulsed by a boy who got a halachically valid heter to shave.

    in reply to: Shaving for Shidduchim during Sefirah 👨 #1266802
    simcha613
    Participant

    It’s a tough question. A girl may intellectually be supportive of her date not shaving during sefirah, but she can’t control who she is or isn’t attracted to. She may not find her date attractive due to the beard and the relationship may stop in it’s tracks because of that. I think that’s a valid reason to rely on a heter.

    in reply to: Tznius gone too far #1257961
    simcha613
    Participant

    I haven’t read every post here… I read the first post and it seems like there is a dispite on whether taking “tznius too far” is a bad thing, good thing, neutral but if the tzibur wants it then who has any right to complain… something along those lines.

    I don’t want to comment on the specific case in the OP, but theoretically, in a very similar case but it was a picture of a 4 year old boy in camp wearing shorts that was blurred out in the name of tznius, would people have the same reaction? I mean, if the tzibur felt that a young boy’s legs should not be shown in a public magazine, would this be an appropriate expression of tznius?

    IMHO, people can do what they want. If there is a consensus (but I mean a real consensus, not social peer pressure), to blur out pictures of boys and girls who’s pants or skirts are “too short” that’s fine. But I think it’s hard to call blurring a picture of a little boy for wearing shorts “tznius,” “halacha” or a “chumra”. So too, just because people want certain pictures blurred out of a magazine, and they have every right to do so… that doesn’t automatically make it an expression of tznius, halacha, or a chumra.

    in reply to: Teffilin on Chol HaMoed #1255369
    simcha613
    Participant

    Iacis- really? But isn’t there a mitzvah to put on Tefilin every day? So the burden of proof would logically be for the exception to that rule. You should need a source to exempt you from Tefilin on a particular day, not to obligate you.

    in reply to: Teffilin on Chol HaMoed #1254784
    simcha613
    Participant

    I will preface my question with a brief summary of the sugya as I understand it. The debate on whether one should wear Tefilin on Chol HaMoed seems to have both a סברא component and a textual component.

    The סברא component is whether Chol HaMoed is considered an אות. Tefilin are considered an אות and are not worn when the day itself is also considered an אות. Shabbos and Yom Tov are considered an אות because of the work prohibitions and therefore Tefilin is not worn. The question is whether the Mitzvos of Lulav, sukkah, matzah, and partial work prohibition on Chol HaMoed also makes it an אות.

    The textual debate is between the simple understanding of a Mishnah and the explicit understanding of the Zohar. The Mishnah in Moed Katan says that one can write Tefilin on Chol HaMoed. The simple understanding (though not necessarily the only one) is that is permitted to write because tefilin have an immediate use… There is a requirement to wear them on Chol HaMoed. The Zohar however is explicit that one should not wear Tefilin on Chol HaMoed… And the Zohar speaks very strongly against this practice.

    It seems that this dispute falls along “party lines”. Chasidim and Sepahrdi Achronim who normally​ put more emphasis on sources like the Zohar, say not to wear Tefilin on Chol HaMoed. Most early Ashkenazic Achronim/poskim who normally do not emphasize the Zohar especially in determining halacha, say to wear Tefilin on Chol HaMoed.

    The one outlier is the Vilna Gaon who said not to wear Tefilin on Chol HaMoed (which is the reason why most Orthodox Jews today, including Ashkenazim, especially in Israel, do not wear Tefilin on Chol HaMoed). However, I do not know why the Vilna Gaon ruled like that. Did he put halachic emphasis on this Zohar? Did he have reason to learn the Mishnah in Moed Katan differently? Why did the Vilna Gaon divert from most of the other Ashkenazic authorities?

    in reply to: War on Kitnyos #1251869
    simcha613
    Participant

    Akuperma- I’m not sure if you are arguing for or against expanding the definition of kitniyos. Is it a bad thing or good thing to be able to prepare foods that we enjoy on Pesach in a chameitz free manner?

    in reply to: Team Israel in World baseball classic #1225620
    simcha613
    Participant

    I found this quote by catcher Ryan Lavarnaway particularly insightful and meaningful:

    in reply to: Purim Torah #1220245
    simcha613
    Participant

    Everything is muttar on Earth because ??? ???? ?? ????? but ??? ??? ??? ????.

    in reply to: Purim Torah #1220241
    simcha613
    Participant

    Everything is muttar in an airplane because ?? ????? ???

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222297
    simcha613
    Participant

    There is also no chiyuv for a 13 year old to drink at all outside of his seudah while he’s going around collecting. Also considering the sakanah and the plethora of shitos who say otherwise (like, as I mentioned, 2 of the most prominent sources to contemporary Ashkenazic halacha, the Rama and Mishnah Berurahs’s), there is probably no chiyuv for them to get drunk at all… Just to drink a little bit more than they usually drink.

    in reply to: Coming to shul without a jacket for davening Shachris #1219725
    simcha613
    Participant

    With regard to wearing a tie, I once asked one of my Rebbeim if I were to dress for davening the way I would dress in front of a king or president, logic would dictate that I should wear a suit and tie and then there would be no difference between davening and Shabbos. He suggested that it meant if you were standing in front of a king that you see multiple times a day like if you were working for him. In this day and age, it would mean no jacket and tie but he still suggested to wear a jacket so that something special is worn specifically for davening.

    With regard to the hat and JFK, it may have been true at the time that hats were still respectable and he was lowering the bar for when to dress respectfully but that’s certainly not true anymore. Now a hat is simply not respectable. Even if a real king would exist, a vast majority of people would not wear hats as it’s no longer respectable and might even look a bit ridiculous. JFK may have started it but the transformation is now complete. Styles and respectability change. What was respectable in Rashis time in place was not the same as the Shulchan Aruch which wasn’t the same as the GRA which isn’t the same for us. The stylistic reality is, is that hats are out.

    With regard to one hand out of the sleeve, I think Rav Soloveichik held that way. At one point later in life he stopped wearing a jacket for Shacharis. He explained because he just inherited R’ Chaim’s tefilin which were quite large and couldn’t fit under his jacket sleeve. He felt it was more respectable to not wear a jacket than to wear one abnormally with one hand out of the sleeve.

    in reply to: May I Disagree With the Chofetz Chaim? #1219459
    simcha613
    Participant

    If it’s a legitimate disagreement, then most likely someone else of higher caliber also disagrees or explains the Chofeitz Chaim differently than you understood it. Of course one can disagree with the Chafeitz Chaim if there is Acharon of comparable caliber that disagrees. If no one disagrees with the Chofeitz Chaim in that regard, then it is more difficult to justify.

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222287
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph- honestly, it hasn’t really come up in a very long time so I haven’t really thought about it. I wonder if it’s a problem but I assume not because a glass of kiddush wine is not something the authorities care about. I guess you could make the same argument for Purim as many have here.

    But it seems like at the very least you admit that there’s no halachic reason to serve them wine when they are not partaking in your seudah and when they will have a seudah on your own. Considering the possibility that kids can abuse alcohol (and unfortunately we see that they do especially on Purim), then what’s the point?

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222272
    simcha613
    Participant

    Do you serve them wine if they don’t want to wash, eat bread, and bentch?

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222268
    simcha613
    Participant

    I also don’t think your assessment of the chiyuv is correct. I bet even the Roshei Yeshiva you mention who advocate the shitah of the Shulchan Aruch would agree it’s only an ideal and not me’akev… In other words they would agree that a person would be yotzei if they “only” followed the Rama and Mishnah Berurahs’s shitah of yoser milimudo. Yes, we all try and be machmir, but when a chumra comes at the expense of a din (in this case dina demalchusa dina) one would presume the din takes precedence over the chumra. Yes, even the Rama’s shitah violates Dina demalchusa dina as that would be illegal as well, but I am under the impression that the more you serve a minor is a bigger violation of that law and by extension dina demalchusa dina.

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222267
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph- assuming they have their own seudah then someone is violating Dina demalchusa dina. There is no chiyuv to do it twice.

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222264
    simcha613
    Participant

    The quaint rare minhag is the combining of ad delo yada peshuto kemashmao outside of the seudah. Giving kids things to drink when they come to visit you during the day is either not fulfilling their chiyiv or going way too far. It certainly violates Dina demalchusa Dina according to most shittos when the kids are underage and no chiyuv is being fulfilled.

    in reply to: wine for purim #1222261
    simcha613
    Participant

    Joseph- between all of the shitos regarding drinking on Purim, how some meforshim say you only need yoser milimudo and go to sleep (most notably the Rama, Pri Megadim, and Mishnah Berurah), the shitos that say ad deli yada is not literal (among them I think is the Maven Avraham who says it’s just enough wine to not be able to sing a complicated song with ad delo yada in it or work out gematriyoa), and the shitos that say the chiyuv is only during the meal (the implication of the Shulchan Aruch and Rambam), you are being machmir for a random shitah I am unaware of (if he even exists) and violating Dina demalchusa Dina according to everyone else, including everyone I listed above. Not to mention we are machmir on pikuach nefesh and young boys don’t usually know how much they can take safely.

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