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ROFL
cute!
(coming from someone who lives near an airport)
nice!
I know you disagree but it worked for me!
<whisper>
remember we talked about this?
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/all-aboard-project-improve/page/2#post-542412
</whisper>
A funny thing about this is that as an OT I work on redirecting habits in my students and it’s not easy. the first thing I have to do is find out what they are “getting out of it”. Sometimes it is to help you focus, sometimes it is to de-stress, sometimes it is for deep-pressure. Finding a “replacement behavior”, as we call it, is usually easier than “extinguishing” a behavior.
All that aside, davening works well.
Except that BP, with nearly 24 hours of frum folks always being around, is probably safer than most parks.
I guess it depends who you are trying to keep your kids safe from
v’hamayvin Yavin
Syag: You wouldn’t let your kids breath and have fun in a public park unless you were breathing down their backs?
If you had a legitamate response, you wouldn’t have chosen this one.
In BP you can actually let older kids walk in the street, from one side of BP to another, by themselves, while the parents do other things.
that comment sends shivers down my spine tho. Maybe paying a bit more attention to kids walking alone would be a GOOD idea. Being free to leave your children unsupervised is hardly something to brag about.
oh gosh – this thread is getting funnier by the minute. I can’t stop laughing.
I’m with ya!
I also think it’s funny when people like to stereotype everything but change it constantly. Like the 1 year old who doesn’t speak, “because he has so many older siblings to speak for him” and the other one year old who speaks so well because, “he has so many older siblings to learn from”
Why can’t someone’s poor skills be attributed to their learning abilities? Why can’t someone’s high level thinking be attributed to their learning abilities? Why can’t someone’s obnoxious behavior be attributed to his intrinsically negative personality? Some people just seem to enjoy the “blame game” – it’s the chareidi school system, it’s the tri-state attitude, it’s the OOT ignorance.
Feh!
i get what you were saying, I just don’t think it applies to this. I also didn’t get the impression he had that attitude you expressed in #4. I think talking to a rebbitzen or rav may give you some insight as to what her attitude toward tznius/growth is in general, who knows.
I remembered after posting that there was something that my husband did (or didn’t do) that I really couldn’t “deal with”. When we talked about it he said, “If I change this now, it will be for you, because you asked. I agree that it is right and do believe I’ll get there, I just need more time”. This is very different than just becoming territorial or defensive, which we do as newlyweds but will never want to call it that.
I wouldn’t call myself an expert either, after all I’ve only done it once 😉 (B”H, BE”H)
I understood that, I just believe that if you strengthen your shabbos awareness it will work just the same. but I am not in the habit of arguing with the chazon ish.
ZD – agreed.
Thanks for the chizuk guys.
Sidi, are you sure you need to quit during the week?
writersoul – With all due respect, I think that’s a great answer but I really don’t think it should apply here. We are talking about halacha. Everything you said could be 100% true for preferences and natural tendencies, but I don’t think you can say that about something halachically dictated. If a girl is wearing skirts that are not halachically appropriate, the appropriate “wake up call” may be just what she needs. I agree that it should not be a casual date conversation but I would seriously worry about a girl who thinks of this as a “favor” or “accomodation”
For example, I live on meat, my husband doesn’t like it. When we got married I was all “into” making all the foods he likes and leaving my likes aside. Eventually (15 years later) I realized that it would not be the end of the world to make what I like and let him eat something else, or vice versa.
Also, he listened to the radio but I didn’t. We decided we would not have the radio playing in the house when I’m around, and I know that it has been hard for him sometimes even though he complies. On the other hand, when we got married I hadn’t gone to a movie in years. He asked, (as only a pure hearted BT can) what is the point of not watching movies in the theater but still renting the ones you want for the VCR. I knew he was right halachically, it wasn’t just a preference of his, and it was the push I needed to move forward. I said, “You are right. It is just another one of those things that ‘everyone does'”. Years and years have gone by and if I ever miss renting or watching movies it wouldn’t occur to me to “blame” him. He was the impetus for growth. Not only that, but I CREDIT him for all the movies I have NOT seen and need to understand that what we do in regards to our spiritual growth is for OUR benefit and those who bring us there should be blessed. So many times in marriage we push and pull each other, too many singles are looking for someone who is always on the same page.
How the above poster should handle this is a different issue, I just felt compelled to comment on your presentation of tznius K’Halacha as style change.
I would also feel concerned about marrying a girl who only sees improving on her tznius as an accommodation to move from date to date. Unlike the wife of mtf23, a girl like that does not sound like someone with the level of sensitivity toward the mitzvah that this boy is looking for.
matook – so true! I’m actually going to be at Ahavas in a couple weeks and I’m really looking forward to it.
1122334455-if you want me to look around for some housing options just say so.
🙁
I almost made it but in the last two hours I ended up ripping off some cuticle that had been bugging me all day. At least it worked the first few hours . . .that’s somewhat encouraging.
Good for you tho!!!
Borrow a neighbors cat to walk thru your house for a bit.
LG – ?
I have talked about this dilemma with a few friends. It began when a couple boys were stuck in traffic and were running very late. They were far from their shul and minyan time was approaching. They were left with the choice of running into a different shul along the way, without their hats, or going home to get their hats but being late for minyan. They had very different (and strong) feelings about what they were willing to do. One would absolutley not be late for shul for a hat, one would absolutely not daven without a hat just to be on time. And the answer (if their was one) is NOT that they need both. They ALL knew that. At that time, through no negligence on their part, it wasn’t an option.
Rex – You excluded yourself from the causers of the mayhem because overabundance is a single word? Hmm, sounds like another one of those questions you are avoiding answering. I hope someones keeping a well documented list.
Please offer locations less than an hours drive from Boro Park, that are safe neighborhoods, where rents are affordable, that religious newlywed couples can move to.
I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry.
Maybe they can hop on a camel and put their stuff on a wagon and trek over to a different city that isn’t 2 hours away. I’m sure between skype, whatsapp, instagram, texting, group chats and facebook they will not even realize they are “out of town”.
I don’t mean that kids shouldn’t live near their parents, but if the living conditions are so bad that it is between a cramped, decrepit apartment they can’t afford or another city, it shouldn’t be as if there isn’t a choice.
I love Rabbi Tatz books and tapes. Really intense. Worldmask was major.
absotively! I think I’m going to try to work on not being angry/upset on Shabbos. Maybe if I can get it down one day a week Hashem will reward me with an extension 🙂
maybe his parents finally caught on
i don’tbite them during the week, i peel them/pick at them.
Vayoel – this is not the troll thread, it is the “taking over the CR” thread. and the italics are a quote, the comment underneath is a comment to the person being quoted about the quote.
There, Ivory, that should clear things up, no?
I agree, Ivory. I also get offended (as most of you have heard many times) when people complain about things that happen in their communities and state it as a world wide Jewish issue, such as, “frum people are so . . .” or “BY school always . . .” Not only is it disrespectful to all the other Jewish communities and institutions, it’s just plain inaccurate. And since it’s usually negative, it’s serious motzei shem ra.
vayoel moshe:
I think he meant you, and also Lamud Vov Tzadik.
and you exclude yourself (and your over abundance of posts) because . . .
When I would bite my nails, instead of saying, “oish, I shouldn’t have done that” I would say, “I can’t believe I was Michalel Shabbos”. That made a deeper imprint on my subconscious, and eventually would trigger my consciousness when I was about to do it. When I think about it as nail biting, it doesn’t sound so bad. When I label it as Chilul Shabbos, it becomes something to avoid.
Then I had popa administer a few sessions of CBT therapy . . . and the rest is history.
You guys have definitely got me on board! I don’t bite my nails on shabbos anymore but I still have sooo many other things to work on!
When my sister died her former classmates bought a bunch of very nice, durable bentchers and started a bentcher gmach in her name.
I thought we had them all but I never heard of that one. My husband reads them to the kids and got me hooked.
hey coffee – can I tell you a totally off topic but gematria related story?
golfer – 😀
he wasn’t saying that. He was saying that it can’t be joseph becuase if it was, the post would have indicated mechalel shabbos since joseph is in the US
guessing where you live wouldn’t take much thought.
I had never thought about it until I got married and my husband never used my friends first names. It made me more conscientious about it and I think it would feel weird to be called by name by his friends.
that’s hard to believe. We are talking about thousands of people inviting shabbos guests, and frum people looking for arayos was the first thing you thought of.
raising your children in a community where you have to worry about the frum people going to kiruv events for arayos opportunities may be an even bigger problem.
How many frum Jews will come to events like these for the sole purpose of socializing/potential gilui arayos?
you must live in a very sad world. Try putting a kiruv krovim project in your area while the rest of us work on spreading the beauty of Torah.
Golfer – More shabbos guests!
are you for real?
if ONE person kept shabbos, thought about keeping shabbos, wished they could have kept shabbos, or thought about thinking about shabbos then it was a success.
and maybe people not exposed to the politics of NY Jewry are also more open to it. I don’t know what you mean by “handle a large non-religious population” but my point was that the two above posts seemed to think their observations were indicative of more than just their observations.
My 9 year old –
If I had a choice of going to school versus not going to school I would pick going to school because I know it’s good for me. . . it’s just the teachers that ruin it.
ZD, FrumGuy – can Jews from the rest of the world weigh in or are your observations from Bklyn pretty determinate of how the project went?
ooo, that is so not okay
Avram – to answer generally (don’t have patience for the line by line, sorry) I think you bring good points but I still don’t agree. If I sit next to someone with strong perfume I may request a change but with two differences: because it is not a religious issue I would take no for an answer. Preference is more flexible than halacha. Also, if I had a serious sensitivity to strong perfume, I would not consider getting on a plane and hoping for the best. Or asking someone else to move if they don’t want to. I would consider it my obligation to make sure I accommodate my own needs.
and may I add that I feel more peaceful already.
I am having trouble processing the facts tho,
If you were not intentionally rambling in the post that you claim I inspired, and the post is certainly not written in your typical straightforward format, then what was the inspiration and why the change in writing style?