truth be told

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  • in reply to: This has to be a joke #757823

    I once saw it in a secular pregnancy book. Haven’t heard it from Rabbonim though.

    Even with an epidural the process is not painless. Being numb, emotional roller-coaster etc is not conidered pain-free, like a regular Monday afternoon. Why shouldn’t we seek to minimize pain? “Hani kivshi d’rachmana lama lach?”. Not arguing, just asking and possibly explaining all the poskim who haven’t assusred this.

    in reply to: How to remain neutral with the boys in college #758819

    There’s a huge misconception in “chilul Hashem”. Honoring Hashem means doing His Mitzvos/commandments. Neglecting any is a chillul Hashem, new-age definitions notwithstanding.

    This discussion reminds me of Aristotle. He was a great ethical philosopher. However, his students observed him in immoral acts that he taught to stay away from. His response: “I’m Aristotle when teaching, not now”. A lot of these ideas may be philosophically correct but are not practical to the OP, at this point and time.

    in reply to: Basic english #759105


    Learning any language in which a Torah essay has been written is certainly of inherent value! There is certainly enough Torah in English, German, Arabic, Ladino, and Yiddish to make learning those languages worthwhile in addition to Hebrew and Aramaic.

    As a man of medicine, would you say its of inherent value for a person to become sick, since there are some great medications out there?? Torah that was written in these other languages is due to people speaking them, much the same as medications being produced due to illnesses. If one sticks to loshon Hakodesh, he’s got all the seforim he needs and doesn’t need these aids in other languages.

    in reply to: what would you give up? #758542


    in reply to: Clarity? #761939

    The shidduch forum in this weeks Yated discusses a similar question. It seems they have a very different definition on clarity. You may want to read it

    in reply to: Quiet people #768942

    in reply to: plague of the generation imo #757706

    But the color of the stick G-d chooses is meant to convay a message

    in reply to: Insomnia #758896

    Is it nightly or just Motzei Shabbos? How long did you sleep in te afternoon and Friday night?

    Sadly, such tribalism is quite prevalent and is likely the chief reason we are still in galus after 2,000 years. I’m not writing to cast aspersions;

    Sadly such tribalism and baseless assumptions is likely the chief reason we are still in galus after 2,000 years.

    We all know that through writing such a letter, in this fashion, is using their unfortunate deaths for political gains. Very very sad, and heartless. Sorry.

    in reply to: i need advice #757776

    1) Speak to a Rov

    2) Speak with a lawyer

    3) do what both suggested you do. See if you can file police reports on the tenant (if 1 and 2 say you should)

    in reply to: best of both worlds? #763139

    in reply to: How to remain neutral with the boys in college #758766


    did i start a trend with the good.jew taking after yid.period??

    Imitation is the greatest flattery.

    just to qualify this statement, how extensive is your experience dealing with an American college student

    BTW, quite a bit of experience.

    and even so, it must be “sanctity” to which the person can relate. Rudeness will just turn people off, and is itself the opposite of the sanctity we seek as a means to be megaleh the shchinah in the world.

    Please re-read the OP. Once done, lets try and honestly relate to the OP whose reaction is a definite, not just to the “American college student” whose reaction is hypothetical. Thank you

    in reply to: Alienating everyone around her #757344

    Let her know you’re there for her, for her and not anyone else. Even though you’ve done so much for her, now’s not the time to ask for thank yous

    in reply to: How to remain neutral with the boys in college #758762

    When its a choice of too friendly or cold-shoulder, cold shoulder is the way. If its possible, be professional. When its too difficult, go the cold shoulder route, that will give you the strength to be professional by the time you graduate.

    Your neshoma is the most important thing here

    in reply to: do psychologists really help ppl? #757059

    Very welcome. Keep strong!

    in reply to: my mother needs a Shidduch #757229

    Health: How do you know how long she’s been divorced? Second, of what concern is it to you, why she chose to focus marrying off her children etc? We ask for help, and its an opportunity to knock us

    in reply to: do psychologists really help ppl? #757057

    eclipse: Sorry to hear that. Keep strong

    in reply to: How to remain neutral with the boys in college #758760

    You might just have been put in this place in order to show them how wonderful is your holy lifestyle.

    in reply to: Clarity? #761934


    in reply to: How to remain neutral with the boys in college #758758

    I second heh

    in reply to: Clarity? #761932

    in reply to: do psychologists really help ppl? #757053

    Graceangel: I’m sorry you went through what you did. I hope you’re OK.

    in reply to: Clarity? #761928

    I agree with your father. How can anyone who thinks very deeply into it, be certain?

    Rabbi Riesman on one of tapes, he tells his students that they’re only going for another date.. they’re getting engaged .. each step on its on. If one focuses on the huge eternal picture, it will surly overwhelm. His idea is to responsibly focus on each step, on its own.

    in reply to: someone help the threads #756821

    You should contact chayav inish livsumay, chayavs einikle, brotherofurs, kishke 4 shabbos, ha ha ha ha and a few others. They usually start the real geshmake threads.

    in reply to: Do You Own/Lease/Finance Your Car? Which one and Why? #756751 Most major rental companies do sell after a year, or right before thirty six thousand miles, whichever is first (before the warranty runs out).

    in reply to: HELP! Kosher Ice Cream date #757289

    mikomos com

    Would you really feel comfertable going to a place that you’ve just announced for all to see you’re going there? How would a date feel if they saw this post

    in reply to: Do You Own/Lease/Finance Your Car? Which one and Why? #756748

    zahavasdad: Rental cars are known not to be a good buy since the renters abuse the the car. Not the body, but transmission etc

    in reply to: Clarity? #761926

    k.i.a.: How would clarity damage will? How are you deffining clarity?

    in reply to: Do You Own/Lease/Finance Your Car? Which one and Why? #756744

    k.i.a.: The concern about buying a car that’s only a year old is how it was, or wasn’t, cared for. Most people who sell their car after a year didn’t take care of it and may have abused it, since they weren’t oncerned with the long term life of the car and wouldn’t allow that to inconvinience them.

    in reply to: do psychologists really help ppl? #757051

    mw13: I just saw your last post this morning.

    With all aveiros, the rule is, “ain odom choteh v’lo lo” a person only sins, when they gain”.

    What type of gain does one achieve by hurting another person? What’s the perceived gain? The gain is due to an emotional concern. Feeling good by hurting others is undeniably an emotional problem.

    Now that our yetzer hora is also internal, he gets us to do aveiros through depression etc etc. So no, the yetzer hora would be unable to get a person to do a bein odom l’chaveiro, if all was very healthy psychologically.

    in reply to: public speaking #756985

    mytake and not I:

    Why not offer up an interesting speech or shiur on a long Shabbos afternoon etc. every once in a while, to friends neighbors. Even to a small group. Women often say they wish they had something to attend.

    in reply to: Do You Own/Lease/Finance Your Car? Which one and Why? #756741

    I think your question is more about getting a “better” car, or a used car. For someone who would like a fancier car, leasing makes is a better option than buying (for most people). For those who don’t need a new car, getting a used car makes sense.

    <Happily drivin a clunker>

    in reply to: Shidduchim – when you think your parents arent realistic #756889

    everybody is lame?

    No. Everybodody, besides for you. You’re cooool

    in reply to: Lashon Hara vs. the Big Three #756720

    The challenge with slander is that we don’t realize the enormity of it. Additionally, its something that can be don many many times in one conversation, certainly every day. Whereas other sins, at least the person fells guilty. Here they fell good and righteous about it.

    The worst part is when this evil has permeated ones soul and they choose to joke about these things.

    in reply to: public speaking #756981

    Try Avi Shulmans book. He’s taught many many people, successfully.

    I heard him once say, before he started teaching PS, he looked into it. He found that fifty percent of those who attended public speaking courses in college feel uncomfortable speaking. (Hopefully its changed since then).

    Nervousness at times can contribute to a very good speech. If I dare say, do you remember any speeches from the last Siyum Hashass? The ones I remember are from the two speakers who looked very nervous.

    in reply to: sad ending chasuna #757079

    It’s sad. May Hashem give her and them a happy marriage and life.

    in reply to: Shidduchim – when you think your parents arent realistic #756885

    Excuse me.

    What exactly do you want over here?

    in reply to: "TALMUD STUDY NOW MANDATORY IN KOREA #757322

    I may have once seen a Tosfos quoted, that eventually the nations will also try to claim Torah Shel Bal Peh as theirs.

    in reply to: To all those who have small children #757391

    Chocolate and ice cream, our nuts for kids


    Correct me if I’m wrong but I’ll make the assumption you’ve had a pretty sheltered upbringing,

    So you feel the way to disprove is through putting me down, based upon an assumption? Nice.

    It still doesn’t add any validity to your argument, which is outside of the point sm29 made. I’ve answered you, and you haven’t addressed my answer.

    Just a seperate point (responders: please do NOT just respond to this last point… try to address what I’ve said above as well… I’ve noticed this is common practice to nitpick a point and ignore all other evidence) Isn’t there a axiom of bechirah chofshi? nisayon? schar? If everything was so clear cut, and farfetched otherwise, how would the world mesh with these principles?

    I still don’t understand why we didn’t open a new thread to discuss our shittah’s, rather than hijacking this one, which was intended on a very personal level.

    in reply to: Clarity? #761919

    observanteen: You’re welcome. Thank you.

    At your stage though, where you’re not dating yet, it may be worthwhile to assume Hashem will give you the clarity you need, when the time comes.


    Huh? Just two people can bring about hundreds in a relatively short time. In thousands of years, despite persecution, millions easily come about from only two people. Kal V’chomer if we start out with way more than two. After thousands of years of reproducing, how would zero remain?

    Maybe zero wouldn’t remain. But as a nation? A nation without being able to be home (oh boy, did I start a new topic now), and still flourishing?

    Where are all the other nations of fifteen hundred years ago and further. All gone.

    I did not at all mean it as an attack on this young adult, or their family. Once this thread was pulled here, I added my two cents.


    Please. What did it entail to build the World trade center? All the deskes, paintings, computors, fancy pens, etc etc etc. What did it take to destroy it, and how long?

    Now imagine many missiles being fired at it, almost daily. Airplanes coasting at it, almost daily. Trucks with bombs entering the parking lot. etc etc.

    If it would survive all that, for a very long time, you wouldn’t be able to intellectually call it chance. The odds of the WTC surviving all this, are greater than were our chances of survival throughout.

    yid.period: You’re now taking sm29’s words a lot further and deeper than he intended, and are asking questions on that. Let me quote him.

    Another interesting point is that how is it possible that we Jews after being persecuted for many centuries are still here? Someone must be protecting us

    Further discussions on new, but related topics, are just that. They don’t detract from this one.

    yid.period: That’s what i wrote in the parentheses at the end.

    I once heard, Rav Yaakov Emden swears, that our continuous existence in exile, is greater than all the miracles of our exodus of Egypt.

    However, if not for our “win”, it would be over. We would, G-d forbid. And there were so so many attempts. Very very different.

    Again the shittos here.

    (If however, this young adult is unfortunately feels upset at Yiddishkeit, it may speak to their brain, but not their heart. And its the heart that needs the jolt, when upset and hurt)

    in reply to: Clarity? #761917

    I don’t know.

    When Rabbi Yochenon Ben Zakai was on his death-bed his students entered. Upon seeing them, he was crying… They asked him why. He answered he (the person we have thank for setting up the system of the preservation of Judaism) has two paths in front of him- Gan Eden and Gehinom- and he isn’t sure where he’ll be going to.

    I heard the question asked, why wasn’t he sure? If he felt he did “aveiros”, why wasn’t he repenting. The answer was, he felt he did the right thing. However, he wasn’t certain. (In fact some of the Chachomim of his generation disagreed with him in how he dealt with the Romans).

    Of course you should Daven for clarity, and I hope you get it. If, G-d forbid, a person unfortunately doesn’t have it, they can try to take solace in the fact that they’re not alone.

    in reply to: Avraham, are we the children that you dreamed of? #1133808

    Think about this: Anyone who has done Mila properly (& didn’t ruin it with boail aramis, w/o proper teshuva) Avraham stands at the gates of Gehinom and defends him. Would he defend someone he’s not proud of?

    in reply to: The new Korban Pesach thread #756092

    Your first reason is the reason. For your second, I believe the Chasam Sofer has a solution

Viewing 50 posts - 101 through 150 (of 906 total)