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Its good that there are schools that accepted her. If the reason for not wanting those schools is for a reason such as quality of secular education, you can always supplement that (like having her read a book and write a report on it in spare time. I know ppl who do that).
I would say go to a tag office if possible. I tried K9 a while ago and it nearly destroyed my computer (I had a mac at the time).January 30, 2015 4:49 am at 4:49 am in reply to: Suggest subtitles for others (okay, and yourself…) #1152552
For me: Being a BT means that in many places I am already the frummie, so who says I can’t be a greaseball?
So in my particular situation, I had a mental barrier that I ended up getting an opportunity BH to plow through over the past five months. The issue I had before decided to confront it was that even though I knew what my hashkafa was at the time, I feared it. Also, generally speaking (as a BT who has been involved over my journey with at least seven kiruv organizations of all types of hashkafos ranging from modern orthodox to modern yeshivish to greasy yeshivish to chassidish influence and chassidish, I have noticed that in most cases, kiruv professionals prefer to direct BTs to the left. Their reasoning is typically b/c going very far to the right too quickly can make one go completely off the derech.
An extreme case would be someone who was in ncsy for five months and decided month four to start keeping shabbos three months later it was august and he decided to switch to a yeshiva that did not allow students to have cell phones. I would be shocked if such a bochur did not end up going off the derech.
My case is one in which although I had a significant Jewish affiliation that was not Orthodox before becoming frum, I took it very “slowly”. I knew within a year after starting to keep shabbos what my general conceptual direction was going to be even though I couldn’t put it into words. It took me a very long time to identify with words the hashkafa I need, but then the issue was that I needed to take action but something prevented me from doing that.
In my case, I have a number of reasons that I haven’t gotten anywhere. One of them is that even though I am very chareidi in mindset/ hashkafa / mentality, I do not come across that way because I am very articulate, stylish, and broadminded. But there is a difference between broadminded and open-minded. Broadminded people are accepting of those who are not like them, opem-minded people are people who would let anything go as long as it doesn’t drive them insane.
I don’t do any school work on erev shabbos, get all dolled up, pack up and go.
People could still be on break.January 26, 2015 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm in reply to: what are the job options for a bais yaakov type girl? #1055364
I once worked at a medical billing office that needed someone to process repetitive paperwork. The starting salary was $10.00 an hour but there was room for a salary increase and I was eligible for benefits like health insurance. It was 9-5 though. The job didn’t last long for me because in the first two weeks, I had a very temporary significant issue crop up and they were not understanding.
I am friends with dragons and dinosaurs. They save me every night from them.
When I go to starbucks, I get the bottled ethos water. If u drink milk that is chalav stam, they often have milk boxes of horizon milk. Many grocery stores have starbucks coffee in their milk section.January 23, 2015 12:56 am at 12:56 am in reply to: what are the job options for a bais yaakov type girl? #1055323
1. Learning how to knit a variety of patterns of things. Then making tons of scarves and selling them.
3. Administrative assistant
4. Cashier at a store
5. Waitress at a kosher restaurant
6. Cleaning lady
I think you should really go to college or trade school. There is a government program called WIA that is run by community colleges. If your under a certain income limit, you can get the government to pay for you to learn a job skill that is in demand such as medical billing, pharmacy technician, phlebotomy… etc. I used to know someone who chose not to get a degree after seminary and she 30+ years later is really unhappy with her life.
The jobs mentioned above that are numbered only pay minimum wage.
8. MASA- everyone qualifies.
10. Write letters to your wealthy relatives (even if they are not frum).
11. Speak to any shul you have an affiliation with (it never hurts to ask, even if they do not have resources, maybe the rabbi will- there have been times in which shuls that are not orthodox have helped people go to frum seminaries b/c the main goal of the programs are forming a strong jewish identity and connection to israel).
Make a cooking class for preschoolers and ask them to sell their brownies. Then take their momey for yourself.
touro may have something.
I would say to contact someone at the Oorah Rebbitzins program and see if they can help you. Ideally, you should find someone who you have known since you started keeping shabbos that you can really trust to help you out as well. Before consulting anyone though about your shidduchim, I would see if you can find someone who can vouch for their ability to have helped them personally. I have been on a similar boat for the past year or so and its not easy.January 15, 2015 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm in reply to: Question of the century: how do ppl graduate college?? #1051923
You major in something that you are passionate about, manage your time extremely well, and be proactive when you need assistance.January 14, 2015 11:44 pm at 11:44 pm in reply to: Getting Plastic Surgery in Order to Look Better When Taking Selfies #1051832
No, it was a magazine called “make it better” it advertises a lot of upscale stuff & and has articles about stuff affluent people would be interested in. I used to read teen vogue when I was in high school (the teenage version has articles that encourage girls to be healthy and get help if they need it. It would never let an ad in like this), then I really frummed out and no longer had an interest in looking at images of non-tzniusdig women because the pictures & outfits looked extremely inappropriate for a bas yisroel. I try to be trendy but tznius.
Hunter School of Social Work accepts TTI alumni. Social Work grad schools do not require any specific undergrad major, so a liberal arts (major) for your bachelors is fine to get in.
remedial educational coursework.
I think that for people who do not really have time to work out that its important to reduce the calories of the junk foods they eat/ limit sugary stuff. My doctor told me once that she has seen many cases where if a patient would drink diet soda only on a daily basis who used to drink sugary soda on a daily basis, the patient would often lose a bit of weight during the first month of doing so.
Community Colleges often have more resources in terms of assisting people in catching up academically. Additionally they are much more cost effective and its easier to be enrolled in such an institution part time than other places. Nowadays they often have general education courses online which can help as well.
My personal opinion is that regardless of where you graduate from, its important to make sure you can get good recommendations from at least some of your professors/ school related employees. That way, you show graduate schools that you have a work ethic/ potential.
People get government subsidies through FAFSA if you apply for an Israel Experience program through a US university. Depending on which seminary, you can do Hebrew Theological College, Yeshiva University, Touro, Michigan Jewish Institute, and I think TTI (raizel right) also does a program as well. I have also heard that you can get more subsidies if you go through a college that is in your state. The Neve Maalot program also has a way to get credits evaluated as well. I think that you can also apply the fafsa aid towards the cost of the program (meaning if the school charges $1800 for the transcript/credits in addition to the seminary tuition, you can use a loan or grant towards that).
So if you get married at age 14 you need your parents/ welfare to support you in order to allow you to finish hs. At that point, I suppose that if you are married, that going to public school according to Daas Torah is no longer an issue- as nobody can ever really afford the tuition to go to a day school at such a young age. Perhaps getting married at such a young age will interfere with the husband’s ability to learn. He will be unable to get semicha after hs because he will have to work… He will also have problems attending the rigorous schedule at his yeshiva.
I think a lot of the issues in terms of shidduch suggestions can be eliminated by using certain labels for hashkafa.
Har Menuchos- kivrei tzadikim.
Har Nof has plenty of LIVING gedolim you can get brochos from.
*These are nearish the Kotel, but still a bit of distance*
1. A trip to Geula-Meah Shaarim is a must- seforim stores and you can get really cheap snacks there. One place last time I remember makes big gigantic bags of popcorn that only cost 14 shekalim.
2. The Shuk- sunflower seeds are amazing there. Ben Yehuda is there as well. You should for sure get something from Kotzefet. Its an Ice Cream place and really good stuff.December 31, 2014 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm in reply to: #1061035
They changed their website significantly. I noticed it a few days ago as well.
He was well known for his niggunim and being on the hippie scene during the Baal Teshuva Movement. Many minyanim around the world either occasionally or more often have services in a carlebachian style.
When someone said that the amount of information that is revealed is equivalent to being on a third date before a beshow, what does that mean? Like are medical issues included, and circumstantial stuff?
There was an article in the most recent Jewish action magazine that was about this topic, it was in relation to the halachos of lashon harah.
I didn’t have time to read this whole thread, but I can say for myself that I have spoken over the past year to at least fifty shadchanim, I have been given 25 different guys for suggestions and ultimately, I realized that none of their hashkafos, which ranged from modern orthodox to lubavitch suited my hashkafos. So I ended up looking into some stuff and I recently figured it out.
Everyone has their own religious struggles/ areas of weakness no matter who you choose to affiliate with. I am still very frum but I have found that for many people farther to the right because I come across when I speak as someone with a significant amount of secular education (as in, even though I am very frum- I could never do a TTI degree because such a degree would not satisfy my intellectual craving) so people would often suggest guys more modern.
*If you are struggling to get hashkafic clarity but have an idea that you think may interest you, perhaps trying to find someone who does not know you well enough to have a personal bias in their direction may be an appropriate route to go.*
Partly depends on societal custom and part on the childs maturity and where they are in their lives. A 25 year old guy by societal standards may be an eligible bachelor, but if he just had a traumaric event such as surviving a multi-vehicle car crash, having a date the next day, week or in the next few months may not be appropriate.
I think that if a parent asks that question of you, the first date for sure answer truthfully and do what you told them you would. After that date, maybe call either the shadchan/one of her references to make a further inquiry about the parents if you are still sincerely interested in the girl.
They could be very nervous themselves about their daughter dating. My mom has freaked out on multiple occasions because she knows I have spoken to many shadchanim over the past year and have not gotten a single in person date- her worry was that some people have been saying things about me that guys would ask as references and that the result was that I kept on getting “no”.
go back to your yeshiva- they should have one.
I think that the key to being effective in shidduchim is knowing yourself. I know that my husband, whoever he is is not a perfect man. The other thing to really consider is that while in-laws matter a little bit, everyone has awkward in-law relationships and you are looking to possibly marry their child- not them.December 28, 2014 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm in reply to: Big crowdfunding to support lost soulds arriving at the kotel #1049977
I think Jeff Seidel and Aish Hatorah do a really good job with this. Also, I think it would be a great idea if there was a rabbi at the Kotel every day who would offer people water and a cracker as a way to teach them about making brochos. That could open up a big dialogue about yiddishkeit for newcomers.December 28, 2014 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm in reply to: 3 most important qualities to look for in a shidduch #1051760
Hashkafa, Honesty, similar life goals (from a global perspective- like if one person wants to live in israel and the other does not it won’t work).
I know that I can’t sit/stay still for long periods of time when davening/ in a chair. Depending on when we are talking about and what activity requires me to be in the same area for an extended period of time, I either sit in the aisle, back, or to the side. The other issue though is the concept of makom kavua. If this person is preventing what used to be your makom kavua from remaining your makom kavua, you may need to (temporarily at least), move to a different place.
I met a few girls who went to ateres a few years ago. They were in seminary at the time. They were at Machon Raaya and some seminaries farther to the left than that.December 28, 2014 5:28 am at 5:28 am in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049922
I grew up in a home that was not frum. I did not use the internet for the first time until I was nine years old in a computer lab. We were learning how to use google to search things. I did not use the internet again until I was ten- a bit over a year later.December 28, 2014 5:09 am at 5:09 am in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049916
PBS may be educational, but many of its programs may not be suitable for young children.
If you do not have internet in your home and are taking online courses, you can complete the online portions in places such as libraries/bookstores/ coffee shops/ restaurants. Many places have free wi-fi for their customers who choose to do these thing, also the textbook portions can be read in one’s own home.
I am talking about all children under the age of 18/ who have not graduated high school yet.
DaasYochid: Many rabbonim have also acknowledged that even though it is the ideal to not have internet in one’s home and for children to not have access to it, that the reality is that for many people that it is not practical. This includes a few prominent rabbonim. That does not mean that we should not aspire to do what we can to protect ourselves. Even if that means just getting Norton on our computers to simply just block adult and gambling websites and allow ourselves to access anything else- Norton internet filter is free of charge.
editedDecember 28, 2014 4:11 am at 4:11 am in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049906
I agree that it is a mistake to think you can shield children from the world as well. Even if my children (when I have them) are unable to access the internet, they will for sure be aware of it’s existence. I am not naive either. But personally, I know that even as an adult, I have lost sleep because I have checked my email at weird hours or got sucked into a chat conversation at one am. Children need to sleep and spend time with people in person. By the time they are adults, they should already have developed these interpersonal skills to the point where even if they have internet themselves, they should be disciplined enough to know that they need to put their own devices away when they go to bed. Keep them off and stuff. Its kind of like how when I was a kid, I got flashlights taken away from me because I would read a book under the blankets late at night. I can control what books my children read to a much larger degree than what they choose to view online.December 26, 2014 5:21 am at 5:21 am in reply to: Family photographer with studio in the Midwood/Boro Park area recommendation #1050446
Secular colleges have longer winter breaks. My break is over a month long. A Jewish college typically only gives one week or 10 days for break.December 25, 2014 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049891
Shabbat.com is a website that was created as an avenue for bringing Jews into Yiddishkite in the form of setting people up for shabbos hospitality anywhere around the word. Saw You At Sinai has endorsement of many rabbonim including chareidi rabbonim who have connections to gedolim. If you are in shidduchim, you should theoretically be old enough to understand the dangers and responsibility that one has when using the internet (such as online safety). Saw you at sinai is a tool that people pay for that allows them to work with two shadchanim who search for you and redt something if they think it is appropriate. That particular website, in my opinion is much more appropriate than websites like jwed and harei at which have no shadchan/ person to screen people on the website.December 25, 2014 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049880
I have personally noticed that people who grow up with it often feel so dependent on it that when they are with other people, their interpersonal skills are pretty much non-existent.
For me, I found growing up that having regular internet access was something that I used to an extreme in terms of time consumption. The reason for this is because I wanted to know about life outside of the bubble I have been raised in and was seeking a way to break out of it. I came across frumkite in the process. That being said however, I think that in the real world, its more important that children have social skills and computer literacy without knowing about the internet (but then when they start working, I can show them how to use email), than to just let them have it and hope they will use it responsibly. The internet is a powerful tool that can stir up a lot of emotions and unneeded time spent looking at a screen.
Our parents and grandparents for the most part if we are of age to be commenting on this forum (over 10 years old), were probably not really raised with internet access themselves. They came out okay in the process as well.December 25, 2014 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049869
If i am in school/ work, to me that is enough of a justification to have it in the home even if my children are not being granted access to it. At my age, I am only going to school in order to have a chance to make more money for my parnassah down the line. If I am working, I may need it to answer work related things.December 25, 2014 2:11 am at 2:11 am in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049853
To me, the idea of having a used laptop with disabled internet means that I take the laptop to a tech guy. There is a code embedded into every device that has internet access capability. If you delete the code, the internet is disabled. A child cannot get around that (in other words, I “paid” someone to break the computer). I agree that all children should be computer literate especially in todays world. I think its awful that (and as a by graduate, I know) that my friends who do have internet in their homes do not know how to use computers. I have one friend that constantly asks me her tech support questions (like how to use powerpoint. You need to pay for it. Oh, then I guess we do not have it. How will I do my assignment. Let me show you how to use google drive). At least if they have a laptop with disabled internet, microsoft office and photoshop, when they do become adults, they will have already learned how to use a usb drive, type documents and basic graphic design skills which are critical in the work world.
ZD: I know many people who need internet for work. I understand that and that is not an issue. If a child is purchasing something from the internet, presumably with a credit card, even if the child has internet access, their parents should be consulted. Most of the time, its their money.December 24, 2014 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm in reply to: BT wants to raise children without internet access… #1049840
How about student in shidduchim… Flip that order please.