Forum Replies Created
How does the tune go? ๐
Power to that woman for being strong and also not rushing into a c-section. Sometimes, the Dr. will prematurely order a c-section, which can be prevented if they were just patient with the patient (corny, hehehe couldn’t help myself).September 16, 2008 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm in reply to: Scene at OHare Airport in Chicago This Past Sunday Afternoon #622052
“does everything have to be an argument?”
yenta101 – Some members of the YW coffee room feed on drama. So even when someone writes a beautiful story, such as this one, they always have to find a fault, and initiate arguments throughout the thread.
Sweet & Sour Meatballs are a hit in my house. They are so good, I sometimes feel I can eat a whole pound of meat worth of meatballs.
Another recipe you can add to the mix:
I saute onions and mushrooms first, then I add the meatballs, which are made very small, with egg, matzo meal, and spices.
While that is cooking away, I start making the sauce which contains, ketchup, brown sugar, lemon juice, water, and spices.
When the meatballs are fully cooked, I then add the sauce and let it all cook together for at least 30 minutes on a low flame.
Yum! This is by far the best thread on YWN (KOSHER COOKING!)! Thank you so much for this add on. It’s nice to have at least one thread that does not involve drama, just yumminess.
The township, city, or state, should try to get government funding to rent , and make a designated “hang out” place where they have mentors, activities, and more. They may already have this for the general population, so the Jewish communities should get together, raise money, and create such a place for Jewish kids. Coed, or not, some kids as young as 12 or 13 and up, have no place to go, especially when they feel neglected by their Rebbis, family, and town.
Some years ago a great, great man, Rabbi Twersky, was the only one who took notice of the lost teens, and helped so many people out, and I personally know a Rav of a shul, who may not have been there if it had not been for Rabbi Twersky. He was a very special man, there are few like him around now days.
The point is, if we shun these kids, and pretend the “problem” doesn’t exist they may never be able to reach their potentials in life.
Israel has a place like this for lost or confused teens, and they have made a major difference in some of these children’s lives. Instead of doing drugs, getting drunk or who knows what, they were in this safe contained place. There should be more places like this in the U.S.
-We should raise awareness to our communities, and start creating such places!
Eating Disorders are a lot more than “anorexia.” As some of you know, there are people with many different types of eating disorders, Bingeing, Bulimia, etc. A lot of theses women & men develop a body dysmorphic disorder. These conditions go more than skin deep. A lot of it is psychological, and telling someone to eat more, or not to eat too much, isn’t going to help some of these people. They need therapy to understand what the disorder is, and how it came about, and how to overcome it. Women, and men alike want to be slim, because the way they see it, they will be more attractive, get dates easier, and get married faster. (Don’t get me wrong a lot of people feel this way, not just those who have disorders). Aside from starvation, comes over eating, which can lead to obesity, and which leads to many health risks. People have to understand that they should be comfortable in their body’s, and if they aren’t a size (women)”0″ or (men)”32,” then so be it. Don’t let other people pressure you on how to look. Except of course, if you are unhealthy, then proper measures should be taken to get into shape. They should institute classes on health and fitness in the boys and girls yeshivos. Nothing is funny about being unhealthy. It’s not just about “looks” it’s about living a healthy lifestyle.
000646 – On the topic of the whole killing scenario, I’m with you on this one. Men appear to have a higher tolerance for emotional pain (or sensitivities), but if they don’t, then they do a great job of hiding it and keeping their feelings inside. Women (most) on the other hand, are less capable of keeping them bottled up.
000646, I think you would have a change of mind if you met me… (I trained in the DEP for the Marine Corps. for several months, and I put a lot of men to shame).
-Yes, men have the potential to be stronger, and have large muscles, but not all do, (especially these days with obesity on the rise, & the lack of physical activities), Many women could be very powerful, and strong. Although some may have to work harder then others, (genetics plays a part in this as well).
Anyways, proceed with your arguments everyone, I just wanted to add that little tidbit to the thread.September 11, 2008 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm in reply to: Scene at OHare Airport in Chicago This Past Sunday Afternoon #621994
Bogen, is sure bursting a lot of bubbles today.
Ahyhoo… This is a very sweet and touching story. As a daughter, I always loved when my father would put his hand on my head and say a blessing. It’s nice to hear happy stories, especially on a day, like today.
If you are working at a desk most of the day, chances are you aren’t getting too much physical activity.
There are exercises geared towards the office setting. They are really good, and it’ll make you feel more energized as you about your day. In the long run, it’ll keep you healthy.
Here are just a couple links to give you an idea. Good Luck, and Have Fun!
“The man is the head of the house!
Let me tell you something, the man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.”
-Quote’s not mine, but I think it’s pretty funny.
Just trying to bring light to all this arguing, back, and forth. ๐
Jewess – I went the summer of 05, that was the one and only summer I went to Kaufmans!
It’s so funny to find someone else who went there.
intellegent – I was under the impression, that your username was either your real name, or you were purposely trying to be contradicting in a humorous way.
I think some people read too deep into the usernames, here on YW. Just because someone’s name is Rabbi, Dr, or Scooby Doo, doesn’t necessarily mean that is who they are.
This is an online forum, most of which should not be taken seriously.
Not to be annoying, but, “till” is the correct way of spelling, “until,” in a short term.
That’s your problem right there! You’re using Microsoft! The Mac will treat you much better.
Oh, and the Mac is smarter too ๐
Shindy, if I was in your position, I would have had his car towed. If someone trespasses, and parks his car onto MY driveway, I’d walk up to his car, and tell him to BE ON IS WAY, or I will call the proper authorities to have his car towed away. If he starts being rude and obnoxious with me, I always have my camera ready, and waiting, but if he apologizes, and leaves, then I’d let it go. In your case though, I would have told him to leave, and if he did not comply then, I would have called the towing company. Maybe this will teach him (and other people who are disrespectful), a valuable lesson, when he gets a $600.+ bill.
I think perhaps some have misinterpreted my post.
This is not a “hate” post. This is not an “anti Frum” post.
This post was to raise awareness to the Jewish people, specifically the frum one’s who dress in a way that outsiders can identify right away that they are a Jew. You are representing the Jewish people, and because we are such a small Nation, there are not too many of us to be out representing.
So, as a fellow Jew, I’m just letting you know how much of an impact you have on other people of other faiths, and less religious Jews.
I’m also letting you know, that when you do something in bad taste publicly, you are embarrassing other decent Jews, some of who are dressed just like you, who want people to think highly of us, not give them reasons to dislike us.
So, if you are one of those individuals who think your actions don’t matter, or you don’t care what “outsiders” think of you, THINK again. Please, for the sake of of Jews everywhere, who want to keep a good name, and not have their acts of Kiddush Hashem be in vain, because the act of a Chillul Hashem is so overwhelming.
P.S. – Lakewood happens to be a great town, I like it here, so please don’t make such accusations, that I hate Lakewood, or have ulterior motives here to bash this town. This is an incident that just happened to occur in Lakewood, where I live, (been here for a while, & visited many times before moving here).
Many girl schools in Lakewood have a rule, that if your hair is longer than a certain length, then you have to put it up in a ponytail, but if it is shorter, then you don’t have to tie it up at all. So, NO, there is no problem with a girl having long hair. What are you going to bring up next? whether a girl can even leave her house? Oh wait someone has already brought up that insanely absurd topic. YIKES!
Mayan_Dvash – Some women put honey in their cholent, and it comes out delightfully delicious. so it could the same reason why this woman put syrup in it. For some reason the honey gives it this extra zing. My sister (who has been making cholent for over 20 years) sometimes puts honey in it.
As for the potato kugel, if you saute the onions first before adding it to the potato mixture, the kugel comes out so yummy! I hate onions, but for some reason when I make it like this, the onions actually taste good!
Honestly, “chaimberliner,” has got a real good idea going. I too have a small questionnaire that I give friends of mine who are looking to get married. Also, handing a questionnaire to your shadchuns can help them match you and another accordingly, knowing at least a little info about each party, so the date will not be completely mishmash. I will gladly help anyone who is single. It does not matter how old a person is. There is a mate for everyone on this earth. For the record, I do not consider women or men over the age of 30 to be old, that is nonsense. (& thinking you are old and undesirable at that age will only make your self esteem, & the chances of finding anyone suffer). Furthermore, If I set a couple up, and they end up getting married, I would not want to be paid for the service. Knowing that I helped someone find their besherit is enough payment for me. Rather have that money given to the couple to help for wedding expenses.
In conclusion, the questionnaire is the way to go, if it isn’t being utilized already. Good Luck on those looking for their besherit! Just don’t lose hope, whether you are 18 or 80, there IS someone out there waiting for you.
My cholent goes like this:
First I put half a cut up onion on the bottom of the crock pot.
Then I add beans and barley.
Then I add potatoes (cut up into 1 inch cubes)
The I add spices, (pepper, paprika, onion powder, garlic)
Then I add a nice thick fatty piece of chuck roast.
Then I add the other half of the cut up onion.
Then I add spices again, (pepper, paprika, onion powder, garlic)
Then I add a squirt of ketchup
Then I add kishke
Lastly I add water, (just enough that covers the ingredients in the pot)
Depending on the crock pot, some have; keep warm, medium, and hot. I put it on the medium setting.
I make the cholent no later then 12pm on friday.
It comes out delicious! YUMMMMMMM
ModernLakewoodGuy – I just want you to know that you, and your wife are not alone when it comes to dealing with this kind of disrespect, and insult. The next time this happens she can say, “excuse me, but I do not believe you are my Rav, and therefore I do not owe you an explanation of any kind.” or say, Ma’am, that was very insulting of you to say, you have just embarrassed me in public.” or say nothing at all. These are just a couple of examples you can use the next time this happens.
I for one think that tichels are very beautiful, and modest (& a whole lot cheaper as well). Be true to who you are, and don’t worry about what other people think of you, or say to you (easier said than done). You can also talk to your Rav and see what he thinks of this, because if he says it is perfectly permissible to wear a tichel at weddings or to shul then you’ve got your official answer, and your wife can tell these ladies that her Rav says it’s kosher, and she answers to him, not some random woman.
Hope this helped, and have a Great SHABBOS!
I’m sorry you couldn’t comprehend me (nor anyone else here for that matter) from all the way up there on your pedestal. Hmmm, last I learned, it is worse to kill a person then to say loshon harah about them. Yes, embarrassment is a form of murder in Judaism. Any other Mussar speeches or advice, “Rebitzen,” for us bad, bad people on the INTERNET? Yikes!
I’ve been to Israel many times, and been to weddings there as well, and if I wore a tichel to a wedding, no one would look twice at me there. A lot of the women there wear tichels, (a lot more compared to Lakewood) to simchos and to shul. If I wore a tichel to a wedding here in Lakewood, I too get dirty looks, or I get the “looking me up and down” scenario.
I have lived in Lakewood for a number of years, and really do love it here, but sometimes the women here can be quite rude and insensitive. Yes, there are many women here who would never speak in such a crude manner towards another, but the amount of women that treat others with such disrespect is overwhelming. (I’ve seen some women talk to elders this way as well)
So one cannot say that this poster is a lier, or how this “never happens here” or “only a small number of women here are that way.” I live here, and see this behavior first hand. Lakewood used to be a wholesome town, but within the past few years, I’ve noticed how materialistic people are becoming.
It isn’t right to bash another poster because in your “opinion” they are speaking loshon harah, they are just letting others know what is going on in their very town. They come here for help, advice, and sympathy, and all you can do is find a “fault.” You aren’t making Lakewood look very good by acting that way. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and don’t attempt to argue that it does. This post should be a lesson for some people, to maybe think before they act. If you have never experienced this, then you are in no position to judge, for you have not felt the embarrassment these people have had to endured.
Feif Un – Whoa there buddy, relax, I wasn’t insinuating anything like that, nor am I staying that kind of thing doesn’t happen here. I was just stating reasons why people would want to move here. There are just a lot more simplicities in this town. Used to be (a couple years ago) you could get a 3 bedroom newly built basement apt for $800 including all utilities. Now those people who can’t afford their houses (or never could to begin with) because their interest only plans are bye-bye, are renting these basements for $1,200+. But, on the bright side of things, the housing market has dropped significantly. I saw a few houses around the Spruce Street area for around and under $200,000 for a 3+ bedroom house in good condition.
Plus how can anyone pass the numerous amount of eateries we have here, and how nearly every development has their own; mikvahs, shuls, dry cleaners, pizza place, pharmacy, and then some!
First off I’m not “yeshivish,” and I live in Lakewood because I have a lot of family in town, and a Rav who has known me for nearly ten years, and I like that when push comes to shove, the Jewish people here are always looking out for each other.
Unless you’re living in NYC, the pay is much better for those who have no post high school education, plus people are getting paid off the books, so $12 equals to a lot more if it were on the books.
Yes this town has grown significantly in the past ten years or so. People from NY were sick and tired of the high costs of houses and rentals. They saw a big 4 bedroom home for under $200,000 and thought that was a steal! Plus, for those who lived in brooklyn, now get to live in neighborhoods filled with backyards for their kids to run around. My sister, her husband and 6 children moved to lakewood some years back because of those very reasons, that was also the last time they ever went to the bungalow colony for the summer.
Now the town has become too over populated for it’s size, that the traffic here is atrocious! Just as a safety reminder, Stay off the roads between 6:00ish-8:00ish, the driving is out of control! sadly (and very embarrassingly) most of the terrible drivers that time of day are Jews. (The proof is on the dash-cam & the traffic cameras)
It’s a hard out there in the single world sometimes, especially when you have people (you don’t even know) bombarding you with a list of names of other single individuals, or asking you what type of guy you’re looking for, and then go into more personal questions.
Literally the year I finished high school I had people go to my mother asking what type of guy Im looking for, or telling her she knows a guys for me. First of all I never met this woman, so how would she know the guy for me? I also used to work in a kosher store in town, and I would have people telling me they have “the perfect” guy for me. MY response was, Sorry Ma’am, I am not looking right now. The look of shock I got from them was absolutely insane! Then they would proceed with questions like, how old are you, I would say I’m 18, and they would say, “and you’re not looking to date??? They were so confused! I did get married at 21 (we dated for over 3 months, even though we both knew we were meant to be only 2 weeks into it, then got married 3 months after that) , but before I had gotten engaged, people would say, oy nebach, that poor girl is STILL single. I was 21!! What’s the deal??
It’s sad when people start jumping to conclusions as to why someone could possibly be single over the age of 20! They start saying, maybe there’s something wrong with that person or something wrong with their family. Then there are some single individuals become so terrified and feel hopeless that they RUSH into marriage the first chance they get, without thinking about how great the commitment is to be married, and how many years they have to live with this person. If they “settle” for someone or marry for the wrong reasons, it can put great stress on the marriage.
I just wish they didn’t stereotype the single people who in their opinions are “getting old.” If you want a marriage to be successful, you can’t rush the whole process. Things take time, so let it be. A good friend of mine recently got married who is over the age of 30, and she is the most incredible, smart, sweetest, absolutely beautiful person I know, there was nothing wrong with her past, or who she was, yet people always thought negatively about her because of her age status.
Yes some of us are lucky to find our true soul mate, our besherit fast, but it takes time for others, and it’s not because there is something wrong with them, it’s just one of those things that happen, and sometimes take time. Be a little more sensitive towards people, especially when you don’t fully know this person. Once you start stereotyping these individuals, you make it even harder for them to find a mate, with all the fabricated stories being thrown around town.
Now onto having a baby back to back or waiting,
Every (respectable) OBGYN will tell a women to wait before trying to conceive until their bodies are recovered, and to make sure she is emotionally balanced. Some women recover faster then others.
Also, you should not rely on the government, or the community to support your entire family, so if there is a family who is terribly struggling financially, maybe they should wait until things get less overwhelming. The cost alone to have a baby is well over $20,000, and that is not taking into consideration, C-Section, or God forbid, complications. Plus a child needs a lot of attention for their mental and emotional growth, if you can’t handle more than 2 or 3 babies then having another one after another after another… is only harming the children. When you get married, and are starting a family, be responsible in your actions, talk to your Rav before making major decisions when you think you are obligated to do certain things.
I think what you are describing is a husband with his priorities mixed up. His first priority is to his wife and family, and to those who are apposed to this, let me clue you in to a few facts. If a postpartum woman doesn’t get the help and stability from her husband she needs, she may become depressed after feeling too overwhelmed with all her new responsibilities. If a woman is depressed, she will not be able to handle the tasks of being a wife and mother. This in turn can make the marriage suffer. The mother (& God) are not the only ones responsible for creating this child. So why are there new mothers out there getting no help from their husbands? Also, a woman who has just given birth is vulnerable to becoming depressed do to the decrease of the high amount of hormones in her body from being pregnant. So if her husband doesn’t provide any assistance, he is only increasing her chances of developing depression. Having a child is the mitzvah of the husband. Your wife helped give you this mitzvah with; many months of pregnancy, the extreme pain of labor and delivery, hormones imbalanced, losing her “figure” for a while, recovering from all of this. This is the most selfless act a wife can do for her husband. The LEAST you can do is help her out. Give her emotional support, Ask her, how you can make things easier on her. ASK. some new mother’s are afraid to ask for help. If there are any women out there that are not getting the help they need from their husbands, they should speak to their Rabbi. Also, maybe some communities should offer programs for new moms, for instance having a get together with other postpartum women, where they can share their feelings, and help each other out.
abcd1234 – In Neve, they have a similar idea in some of the classes, but the questions aren’t asked aloud, The students would write their questions on a piece of paper, and put in a box, so when the Rabbi would read the question, it would be anonymous, and no one had to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. -I agree with you 100% about having a class here in the states for the sole purpose of questions the students have on anything they may be confused about, or understand further. I just wish they had something like this back when I was in school…
My father, an old timer physicist had to use a slide rule in his day, but with times changing, and technology constantly rolling, he got himself the TI, and absolutely loved it! He still uses it today. (and he too has a pocket protector & other tools on him all the time) He gave me a few of them, anyone want one? lol, Wait, how did we get on this topic again? from eating disorders to calculators, hmmm.
cherrybim – I do love a HOME cooked meal! there’s nothing like it in the world especially when it comes to shabbos. It’s exciting to bake challah, and make chollent, potato kugel, broccoli kugel, gefilta fish, salads, and yes also a sweet dessert. mmmmm! (We seriously need more guests for shabbos, it’s usually just the 3 of us (one being the baby) eating all of this…lol) When you eat mostly home cooked foods, it makes it much more exciting and special to get takeout. Although I do have to admit at times having to make the pre prepared frozen foods, but that’s when things get overly busy… ๐
Plus, when you are trying to keep a healthy household, pre prepared foods have a lot of additives and sometimes you don’t even know what’s in it. When it’s home baked or cooked, you personally know what’s in the foods your preparing.
What can I say, I love and appreciate food to the fullest! Thank you God for creating food, and making it taste so good!
I’d just like to add, that I am not a big fan of the crocs, i think they look kind of goofy ๐ but they do look cute on kids id have to admit. sadly, i did have to wear them due to foot surgery. They are the lightest shoes ive ever encountered!
Please read on further for what the “man” should provide for his wife. This isn’t about equality, it’s about the taking & giving (not only what you benefit from), and being a decent human being. The strongest marriages, and the most successful ones as well, are those of which the husband and wife BOTH respect each other. Your Kallah and Chosson teacher can refer many books to you if you are having trouble finding one, or if you have questions.
For anyone who is ignorant to the laws of living in America, It is illegal for one to beat or starve another (it goes both ways no matter what gender you are) This is considered what is called, “ABUSE” and is not tolerated in the USA or in Judaism. Go ahead and ask your Rov what he thinks about this.
Be a role model for your children, if they see either father or mother abuse each other in a physical and/or emotional way, sadly, they too will follow in those ways.
teenager – I’m sorry you’re still suffering in : life-religious, limbo. Not that this will help in any way, but know you are not alone, and you should be happy that you are still young, there are people still suffering anywhere from drugs to religion to feeling lost and small in this big world and they are in their 50s and up. The thing you should be really happy about, and a great thing you got going for you is that you are aware of your issues, not to say that makes it easier, but that is the first step to feeling positive, which will help in the healing process. The worst thing though, is to go through this alone. You need support and if you can’t get it from certain people, then look for others to help, they have programs here in the states and in israel that have such amazing people who sincerely care about you, and want to see you happy. Also keeping yourself busy (working, school, hobby) and getting the support you need and not delaying for a moment, will help prevent you from falling into a deep depression. Just one thing you have to remember, you can never be “hopeless” no matter how low a person goes, there is still a shred of light, of hope somewhere deep inside. If you need someone to talk, vent or just someone to listen, you contact me via email ([email protected]) i have personal insight, and been through it all… i hate to see anyone in so much pain – Try to think positive! Hope you feel better soon!
You will find those who say; sandals, crocs, high heals, etc. are not “kosher,” but it is a matter of where you live, WHO you ask, and several different circumstances, to determine how tznius they are. Who are any of you to dictate to everyone else on this website how untzniusdik you THINK something is, and bring those who wear them down?
anonymouse – you are going to get a lot of people arguing from both sides back and forth for months, and it could get confusing if you’re looking for a definitive answer. The point is, if you want to know what’s truly right for your situation, ask your Rabbi, someone you respect, not these random people on YWN who you’ve never met before.
go ORIOLES! but i guess in this case, go METS!
Children some years ago had much greater and much more responsibilities. Hitting was acceptable in those days, so parent’s and teachers alike were more terrifying to them. Children didn’t have much of a voice then as they do now, which gives them a sense of power. Now days Mothers have careers and Fathers are learning & sometimes working as well, so there isn’t much time to discipline, which is hardly an excuse. Our children, Our family, should come first, but unfortunately there are children left to fend for themselves without sufficient attention. Many children are raised by their daycare teachers from infancy. Sadly, there is so much more to add to the list of reasons behind all the chutzpahdik children out there. All I have to say is, thank God for Shabbos, everything suddenly STOPS, & forces families to spend quality with each other.
1. Going bowling or playing mini golf is a great way to get to know the person because you are doing an activity together and that will make things more comfortable for both to open up. 2. Giving compliments on an outfit and such is a really sweet, all it will do is make the person feel nice, and is that really so bad, to make your date feel good about themselves? 3. Having someone open the door gives the girl the impression that this guy is polite and delightful. 4. Sharing food shows a certain closeness, and openness between the couple. It also initiates conversations on your likes and dislikes. 5. If the date isn’t going well, and you know it’s never going anywhere, I think it’s only fair to ask to be taken home. It will probably hurt the guy initially, but at least he wont have to go through a date with an uninterested girl, or go crazy until the shadchin calls. Just to have to go through all that time THEN be rejected would be a whole lot worse.
I can’t believe my baby is nearly 18 months old! The time is just flying by. — Hey lgbg I’m starting to like this post of yours already! The new BP weekly came today and Klein’s has an ad for ice cream sandwiches, they look so delicious, I think I’m going to get me some. Any takers?
Shindy, I remember my school years ago “spoke” to us about eating disorders for about 30 minutes, and never elaborated too well on the subject or told where the individuals who were suffering how to get help. It was such a shame, because there were at least 10 kids in my grade who were suffering, & 3 of them went to hospitals from nearly dying. Some schools just like to deny they have “problem children” in their school. They want to keep a good clean record, and having these situations outed was the last thing they wanted. I think by now the rate of kids with everything from anorexia, bulimia, bingeing, or a mix of all 3 has gone up tremendously in my old school and everywhere else. For some reason the Jewish community never thinks any of the so called “goyish” problems can penetrate their perfect little world. The sad thing is, it does happen, and it happens more than we think from drugs, addictions, all types of mental diseases, and much worse I can’t divulge on this forum. How bad do things have to get before communities take action and make awareness of these terrible problems?
Obviously not ALL guys and girls who are slim have an eating disorder, I’m simply referring to those who are suffering. By the way you are 100% right about the clothing being made”bigger” they are accommodating the “growing” americans. Anorexia, Bulimia, and Bingeing, or individuals who are mimicking such mental diseases, do it for looks, to fit in, and you are correct when you say, emotional issues, that’s usually where it originates from. I’ve seen people do it because they were being made fun of because of their size, I’ve seen women say to girls as young as 11 to be careful how much they eat, I’ve seen the people who are depressed and can’t help but have one of these problems, or depressed and think that by starving themselves to a malnourished state people will like them more and they will feel happier. It’s so sad how much it goes unnoticed, until it’s too late…
To Mr. and Mrs. Joseph UJM : Keep thinking what you will about my screen name, I don’t have to defend myself to a “couple” of naive juveniles. You just sound foolish and ignorant having no intellectual comeback to provide us. That also goes for when you’re calling people “liberals” who disagree with you or tell you off.
Hope you “both” are enjoying the YW coffee room, oh, and good luck on your marriage, you two deserve each other ๐
It’s difficult for people to take a good look at themselves and work on their own issues. That is why they take the EASY way out, by finding anyone they think is at fault to judge and criticize them.
Joseph you 100% right! You do have to save the man for he is pitiful and helpless, As for the woman, she is strong willed and can take care of her own.
Your word against a cop in court is worth very little,to prove your innocence on the red light violation (although a lot of traffic lights in Lakewood/Brick have cameras, so if you’re lucky, maybe the light you went through had a camera.
As for the other violations:(this is straight from the NJ MVC)
License plates (N.J.S.A. 39:3-33)
Using license plate covers or holders that obscure or conceal any lettering on the license plate is a violation, with a fine of up to $100.
Object hanging from Rearview mirror:
This isn’t just happening now, this has been going on for a number of years in the frum world. I had a couple good friends die from drugs, they started smoking pot and thought, “no big deal.” They then progressed in to other drugs, went sober, then out of nowhere were on it again. and that’s when the tragedies happened for both, on two separate occasions. Thankfully there are a few schools out there for teens on drugs, but some people are in complete denial, and ignore their child’s problem. They are afraid of what the other frum people in the community are going to think of them. People have to understand that their “pride” should never get in the way of their child’s life. If you have to send them away to a school, detox, programs, or whatever, DO IT, because every second you deny what’s happening, just pushes your child closer to drugs, and other harmful lifestyles. Sadly there are still people out there, who think that, “drugs can’t touch OUR community.” Sorry to break it these people, but it most likely is happening. Don’t turn your back on these kids.
Whether most of you like it or not, women (& men) choose clothing which look good on them. That usually means, it’s “figure flattering.” Yes women are built differently with hips and such, and they are not going to wear bags and robes to cover that up. So don’t get mixed up between “tight” and “fitted” nicely. What I’ve seen where I live, the women usually wear those lycra shirts Under their tops, to keep Within the tznius laws, they are not trying to be flashy. They are made to fit “tight” so the clothing on top don’t look shlumpy, but look refined.
To the person who posted, “pregnant women look like beached whales.” whether it’s a joke to you or not, it’s very insensitive of you to write such a thing. Do you say this before or after you daven for Moshiach to come? Just to clarify it for you, the line is, “I feel like a beached whale,” said the pregnant woman (not an onlooker).
Teenagers have it much more challenging then adults give credit for. You have to take in to consideration a couple of things before you get to the rebellious role in all this. Now, as young as 11 or 12, kids are maturing in to adulthood. Their bodies are changing. Hormones are racing through them they don’t know how to control, New emotions start emerging which a large part of the time goes unnoticed by the adults, Brains, Weight and Looks suddenly becomes a more important topic, Being accepted is a major priority now more than ever, They are starting to think for themselves and have loads of questions on just about everything in life. So when you have a teen who gets ignored in any of these areas (not intentionally sometimes), and especially if their self esteem is suffering, they “act out” to get noticed, to fit in with some of the crowds, a feeling of non acceptance by their family, friends or community, and sometimes just by pure boredom. The list of reasons can go on forever, but the point I’m making is, there is usually a reason for a teen to rebel. So for anyone who looks at these teens (& parents) with such harsh negative judgement, and disgrace, just think about your teen years, and your own teenagers, because chances are, it may be happening to them. I knew someone that loved to gossip about other people’s “troubled teens” and didn’t realize that her own children were in trouble, and now the gossip is on her. Don’t judge these teens, if you are going to stare and have an opinion, why don’t you use that energy for helping them not pushing them further away from religion.
Some people have this problem of judging a person solely on how they look. First of all, NONE of us are in the position to judge another. If you are not Hashem, then keep your judgements to yourself, for only Hashem and that individual knows the “whole” story behind what the eyes can see. If someone doesn’t approve of another persons “dress code,” take your two cents and give it to tziddakah, for no one likes to be criticized, it can be very embarrassing , and a turn off to orthodoxy. Stop assuming the worst of people. Everyone is so quick to get on another individuals so called flaws, but cannot handle taking responsibility of their own flaws. I’m sure there are going to be people here who say that it’s another Jew’s responsibility to alert the person, but did you ever think of the consequences of doing so? If you aren’t their Rabbi, friend, or family member, you can embarrass them, which in turn means you are killing them, so what’s worse, your opinion of “un tziusdik” or murder?
A person may not be “obligated” to do something, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they “shouldn’t” do it. Learning is infinite. One should never stop learning (Torah, math, science, history, & etc.). Hashem has given us this Big Beautiful world with so much history and so much to discover. Why would anyone not want to expand their minds which have so much potential to gain great knowledge. Of course if you’re not obligated, and you don’t want to further your studies obviously it’s acceptable, no one can force you in doing something you don’t “have” to do. I think it’s great they teach as much as they can to these girls. People who complain about the “work load” being excessive have to understand that school is supposed to be challenging, plus all that homework and studying will keep your kids from having the extra time to get in to trouble. Most girls learn cooking and baking from their mother’s, so I don’t think the young ladies have a problem in that field. P.S. Keep learning people, it’ll keep your brain young and reduce the chances of alzheimer.