Forum Replies Created
May 5, 2023 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm in reply to: Not for Women Only #2187479
This should be in Mailbag, on the main pageJanuary 27, 2022 5:10 pm at 5:10 pm in reply to: after many meaningful conversations om YWN I am now a democrat #2055582
I lost you at “meaningful conversations on ywn”January 27, 2022 11:10 am at 11:10 am in reply to: Question for Frum Jews who are anti Trump #2055425
Being anti Trump doesn’t mean being pro Biden. I detest them both.November 27, 2019 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm in reply to: Why does my son’s Rebbi have a smartphone ? #1805318
Why does your Rebbi’s talmid’s parent post on chat rooms?November 27, 2019 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm in reply to: Why does my son’s Rebbi have a smartphone ? #1805319
Also – it’s the Vilna GAON.
A before ONovember 23, 2019 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm in reply to: Important things to know before choosing camp for your daughter #1803558
Every camp is like this. They have many campers and few staff positions. So this camp has this problem a little earlier. It’s not that hard to find another camp for TC age.September 29, 2019 10:42 am at 10:42 am in reply to: NeutiquamErro's favorite thread with an obscure title #1790313
It’s because Rowling really doesn’t like AmericaFebruary 18, 2018 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm in reply to: Kallah Taking Chosson’s Last Name Upon Marriage- Jewish or Gentile? #1471434
What about the Chashmona’im? Wasn’t that kind of like a last name?January 6, 2018 6:45 pm at 6:45 pm in reply to: Fascinating Rambam – 2 gestation periods?? #1443655
A simple google search will tell you that this is either true, or that this is something, that while true, was something the world at large was aware of.
Fascinating!December 25, 2017 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm in reply to: A compliment (or, r”l, an insult) vs a mere statement of fact? #1436359
@Nonpolitical, what “nice work” was that? I’d love to read it, too.
@Chabadshlucha, I believe it’s from Maharal.
Nice to have a thread about Torah!December 6, 2017 10:22 pm at 10:22 pm in reply to: Calling All Chacha-Chacha Hebrew and Yiddish Readers! #1421625
Lots of ayins ע = Yiddish
Ends with ם or ת = possibly hebrewNovember 13, 2017 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1402491
@slominer: Okay. So according to you, the progression was: scarves –> supposedly wigs (due to a supposed gezeirah that nobody has proven actually happened) –> uncovered (for a century at least, if not more) –> wigs. The fact remains that there was no transition from scarves to wigs. The transition was, regardless of proof of a (as yet hypothetical) gezeira, from NO COVERING to wigs.
Here is my take on some of your above comments (this is for everyone, not just @slominer):
“Nor can that unfortunate period be used as an example of anything, especially the righteous way.”
Our entire history is one gigantic unfortunate period. “Unfortunate periods” are the only examples we have.
“You couldn’t possibly expect that after over 100 years of oppressive Czarist anti-Jewish rule that all the women would suddenly start covering their hair again properly as soon as the Russians were kicked out.”
And you can’t possibly expect that after many, many years of wig-wearing, sanctioned by the holiest and most prominent poskim of our country (please note that I said our country) and generation, women will suddenly start covering their hair as if they only had the same materials available to them that Sarah Imeinu did.November 13, 2017 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1402477
@slominer, Poland was under Polish jurisdiction until WWII. When Rebbetzin Ruchoma Shain was in Mir, Poland, there were definitely no Russians there, and nobody forced women to uncover their hair (Rebbetzin Shain herself wore a MITPACHAS מטפחת (miftochas is NOT a word)). Their heads were totally uncovered, either by choice or by ignorance, but certainly not by force.
Please read this entire post before commenting, as well as my previous post(s) in entirety if you haven’t already. Thanks.November 13, 2017 9:19 pm at 9:19 pm in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1402453
In this post, you told me that my tale of scarves –> uncovered –> shaitels was about America. Return to the post and read it again. I was talking about Europe. Ruchoma Shain records how in Mir, Poland (located in Europe) the majority of women did not cover their hair. The progression I described occurred in Europe.November 12, 2017 11:18 pm at 11:18 pm in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1401913
For all those who contend that modern-day shaitels are too natural looking, Rav Moshe (above, in the photos so graciously provided) makes an analogy to removing one’s beard. Today, one can get a shave as clean as a razor from a shaving machine… yet, it’s not maris ayin. So too, Rav Moshe writes, shaitels are not maris ayin.November 12, 2017 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1401911
It looks like the progression went like this: way back when, there were no wigs. So women wore scarves (mitpachos, NOT “miftachas” – I’m pretty sure that means “key.”). At some point, women were wearing wigs, since they’re mentioned by poskim. But by the early 1900s, the frummest women in Europe did not cover their hair, as documented in All For The Boss – see author Ruchoma Shain’s account of teaching one woman about the mitzvah of hair covering, in which she mentions that going with a totally uncovered head was very common at the time, as well as the many photos in her book of women – some of them rebbetzins! – with no hair covering. When we came to America, women became more machmir (in part thanks to the Bais Yaakov movement – see the biography of Rebbetzin Vichna Kaplan by Rebbetzin Danielle Leibowitz for more information), and began to keep the mitzvah of kisui rosh. Many chose to do so with wigs. As wigs got less wiggy-looking, people began to wonder if it was permitted after all. So they asked a she’elah. The gadol hador of America, Hagaon Harav Moshe Feinstein ztz”l, paskened that there was no problem. So the women in America continue to follow that psak.November 12, 2017 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm in reply to: The Five Thousand Dollar Dress #1401757
Orrrrr… the not-tznius clothes make them feel prettier, but a bigger clothing budget for more appropriate clothes and expensive jewelry might make them more confident and be seen as a good trade.November 12, 2017 1:58 pm at 1:58 pm in reply to: Photography #1401448
Why don’t you ask the googler rebbe?
Most kids wish they had pen pals, and some schools actually set the kids up with pen pals to help them practice writing in a fun way.
Yes, adults have pen pals… they just call it the coffee room (or whatever else)November 9, 2017 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm in reply to: Why didn’t YWN report on the girls’ asifa today? #1400897
Since when is abusing tech a womens’ issue?November 8, 2017 10:48 pm at 10:48 pm in reply to: Why didn’t YWN report on the girls’ asifa today? #1399378
@zionflag, there was an asifa in Boro Park today. 11th and 12th grade HS girls from nearly every single bais yaakov school in Brooklyn were there, with 9th and 10th grade and schools in other parts of the country watching via hookup. That’s a lot of people… shouldn’t it make the news, same as every protest / asifa for other things does?November 8, 2017 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm in reply to: Why didn’t YWN report on the girls’ asifa today? #1399329
How do you know what the message was? You weren’t there and you definitely didn’t read about it…November 8, 2017 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm in reply to: Natural-Hair Sheitels Are Assur #1399327
About today’s shaitels “SURELY” being assur because those who were mattir didn’t mean our wigs because they are much prettier:
In the olden days they wore the wigs לנוי.
In our days they wear the wigs לנוי.
Do you want to explain to me the difference between my great-great-great-great grandmother wanting to look pretty and my mother wanting to look pretty? The only real difference is that the former didn’t have today’s wigs available to her… otherwise, it could be she would have worn them.October 30, 2017 12:07 am at 12:07 am in reply to: Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend? #1391559
I think friendship is a mix of a commitment to your friend and spending time with a person with whom you share common interests. I think a marriage can get on pretty well with just the commitment part, but is energized very much when spouses enjoy each other’s company. The difference between regular friendship and marriage is that marriage can manage solely on commitment. However, a marriage won’t THRIVE w/o friendship.October 29, 2017 12:14 am at 12:14 am in reply to: Rav Avigdor Miller zt”l on animal rights #1391160
No, @yehudayona, they’re not trapped – they just nail the animals’ heads to a tree or pole (etc) and skin them alive. Voila – fur coat. Tzaar baalei chaim? I think so…October 8, 2017 3:40 pm at 3:40 pm in reply to: Women’s Dancing on Simchas Torah #1379060
Anyone know of an Orthodox shul in Brooklyn where women dance on simchas torah?September 9, 2017 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm in reply to: Tznius Problem? #1359313
@shopping613, you must not be tall. Tall people, or people of average height with low knees, often have a lot of trouble shopping in the non-Jewish stores. Add the cost of alterations (to any clothes, even those from Jewish stores, which already carry a heavy price tag), and tznius clothes are very expensive, especially when accounting for the fact that you are unlikely to get a shabbos outfit for very cheap (weekday is another story). (None of this is an excuse for not dressing tznius. I’m just refuting the assertation that tznius clothes are not expensive.)September 8, 2017 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm in reply to: Girl Asking Guy to Marry Her #1359115
Two of my friend’s sisters did it. But at least one of them had him propose to her after. Personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with it. If two people are ready to get married, who cares who makes it official?September 5, 2017 3:31 pm at 3:31 pm in reply to: Is It Just Me, Or Are Frum Homes Becoming ‘Colder’ And More Like Offices? #1355406
Have you SEEN the size of the average house in Flatbush (that doesn’t belong to a millionaire)? Many houses in the neighborhood were built to house a mother, a father, two kids, a cat, and a dog, NOT 5-10 children (give or take). As families expand, sometimes a choice must be made: furniture, or space for the children? Knicknacks that need to be dusted and protected from little hands, and the clutter and constant cleaning it necessitates, or less to clean and more time to spend with kids? Houses haven’t become colder. They’ve become more child – friendly.September 5, 2017 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm in reply to: Inappropriate intermingling at Chasunas 💃🍸🍷🕺 #1355401
Those shuls were the Young Israel shuls. Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Herman zatzal’s EXTREMELY vocal opposition to those dances is recorded in All For the Boss by his daughter, Rebbetzin Ruchama Shain a”h. There is a very, very big difference between mixed dancing (100% assur) and mixed seating specifically for shidduch purposes.August 3, 2017 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm in reply to: Should the frum world create an alternative to “Footsteps” for OTD support #1332523
Ruchie Freier started a program through BramsonORT (a college intended for immigrants who do not speak english as their first language) to help chassidim get their GEDs and learn english, although I think it may only be for boys (not sure) because chassidish girls usually graduate high school. and speak englishAugust 2, 2017 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm in reply to: Sinning in the Messianic Era #1331098
An aveira b’shogeg or b’oneis can still happen (not necessarily piggul), i. e. a person would probably still be able to accidentally hit a light switch on shabbos.August 2, 2017 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm in reply to: How can I learn Yiddish? #1331097
IMO, the best is the easy shmeezy guide to yiddish by R’ Moshe SherizenJuly 17, 2017 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm in reply to: Are Crocs Tznius 🐊🐊 #1319365
what about natives?June 12, 2017 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm in reply to: Anti Zionist demonstration planned in Barclays Center #1294626
I vote that this thread, which is full of lashon hara and bizayon to talmidei chachomim, be closed immediately. It is purposeless and damaging.June 8, 2017 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm in reply to: People who call lady bugs “lady beetles” #1292114
It’s not tznius to say lady
We should call them baby bugsMay 28, 2017 10:18 pm at 10:18 pm in reply to: Acceptable jewelry for frum men ⌚💍📿 #1287342
Also, lightbrite, women weren’t created “for beauty.” Women are supposed to use their beauty to uplift others. Women were created for the same purpose as men – to serve Hashem and earn their olam haba.May 28, 2017 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm in reply to: Acceptable jewelry for frum men ⌚💍📿 #1287341
Lightbrite, I just noticed your post from a few days ago.
Only the kohen gadol (high priest) wore the choshen (breastplate). The regular kohanim did not. I do not believe they wore any form of jewelry as part of their bigdei kehuna. Hope that clarifies things.May 21, 2017 10:38 pm at 10:38 pm in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1282201
<p style=”padding-left: 30px”>I’m pretty sure it was Rabi Yehuda HaChassid- either way, there was a famous Rabi Yehuda Ha______ who wrote a famous tzava’ah that many people hold by. One of the things he wrote (I think- couldn’t find a source) was not to marry first cousins.
Anyway, we’ve been through this before.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/cousins-marryingMay 21, 2017 1:41 pm at 1:41 pm in reply to: Why the husband is in the driver’s seat 🤵🚗 #1281417
hey, what happened to rebbyid23’s parentheses?May 21, 2017 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm in reply to: dating YOUNGER #1281411
Many people hold by Rabi Yehuda HaChassid and don’t marry first cousins. +1 gadolhadorahMay 16, 2017 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm in reply to: Obscure Frum Music #1277455
I just googled Dana Mase. Looks like she’s not Jewish?May 16, 2017 8:10 pm at 8:10 pm in reply to: Siri, Alexa and Cortana are creepy 📱🖥️🌚 #1277452
Cortana is a real name, as is Alexa. Siri is not.
Why are they all women?May 16, 2017 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm in reply to: Burka Photo 🖼️👁️ #1277450
Because that was the minhag hamakom, Joseph. It’s not the minhag hamakom in almost every place where Jews live. In fact, in most places it is not tznius because it draws attention (unlike an actual tznius requirement- i.e. long skirts- that may draw attention, covering one’s face is not an actual tznius requirement where we live. Attracting attention through something that is not an actual tznius requirement it assur and not tznius).May 10, 2017 9:43 am at 9:43 am in reply to: Raise your hand if you actually do fit perfectly in with the system 🙋 #1273351
According to the teacher in my statistics class, if you perform a survey using a sample population that is biased, your results will be skewed and innacurate. In plain, commonsense english: You’re asking this question to the coffee room! The fact that we’re here *means* we don’t fit in the box!! But to answer your question, yes, I nearly do fit in perfectly with the system. I have no trouble conforming in terms of dress, speech, technology, etc. I was a rule-follower in school. I also enjoy pro soccer and visiting the library, among other things that are perfectly in the box in my sub-sub-sub section of the normative Flatbush community, but not so in many other sections. I think that the main thing is to find the box that is most comfortable for you. There are always going to be societal expectations. Don’t feel pressured by them, because if you ever do something that bucks the trend, you will find a new community of people who did the same thing as you.May 10, 2017 9:36 am at 9:36 am in reply to: Thank you to the pangolin awareness people #1273353
No. Pangolins aren’t birds.May 10, 2017 9:36 am at 9:36 am in reply to: Not doing a vort 🐗 #1273354
That’s probably true, actually.May 10, 2017 9:19 am at 9:19 am in reply to: Raise your hand if you actually do fit perfectly in with the system 🙋 #1273352
*raises hand tentatively*May 9, 2017 10:22 pm at 10:22 pm in reply to: Should I Bother Taking My Wife To A Beis Din #1273337
Hey, Lenny. I read your story and I empathize with you. I see that you’re a committed person. You might want to explore what makes you so committed to your wife. Do you love her? Are you very attached to her? Can you simply not imagine life without her? The answer may be all, both, or none. No matter what it is, I’m sure you want the best for her, and you want her to be happy. Now jump into her shoes. And no, I’m not going to say that you should divorce your wife because you love her. But try seeing this from her point of view, for a second. Why does she want to get divorced? Has it become too hard for her to merge your two very conflicting lifestyles into one marriage and home? Does she feel unhappy? Does she feel that you don’t love her? What’s preventing her from going to counseling? Is this post too long to be moderated? Can you fix any of the things that are bothering her? It may be too late, if those things have been bothering her for 27 years and nothing was done, even if she didn’t tell you that something was bothering her. I don’t know you, so I can’t tell you if it’s too late. Only you and your wife can say. Right now it looks like your wife isn’t interested in reconciliation. She wants a divorce. You want a marriage. And although (again, I don’t know you, so I’m not saying anything for sure) marriage, in a non-abusive case, is usually the way to go, it’s hard work. It sounds like she’s not up for that.
So where will you go from here? You have two options right now: Divorce or Don’t. Divorcing will leave both of you (yes, your wife too) lonely and searching for a new identity to replace the long-held one of “husband” or “wife.” It’s hard. Don’t, in most cases, leads to either reconciliation- which is not going to happen if your wife isn’t interested, since the same way one partner cannot unilaterally walk out of a marriage, one cannot unilaterally stay in a relationship- or it could lead to the following situation: Both of you will be lonely and searching for a new identity (sound familiar?). Alternatively, you’ll keep the “husband” label, and your wife will shed the “wife” label and change to “agunah.”
Obviously, I’m just guessing at what would happen since- again- I don’t know you. But ask yourself: What do I want? What do I need? What does she want? What does she need? What’s a good, practical solution so that we can peacefully move forward?
One more thing: As a fan of working it out through counseling, have you gone for therapy yourself?
Good Luck and may Hashem give you the wisdom and strength to make the right decision.May 8, 2017 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm in reply to: Thank you to the pangolin awareness people #1272452
Lol – I was just playing that game!! Sometimes I wonder if you’re me.