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Re: Winning lottery and extreme depression.
To paraphrase Tevye in Fiddler, when told money is a curse…..
Let me be smitten with it (riches) and never recover.
I’ll deal with depression a day later.๐คฃOk, I see it, but so what,?? He discusses that the shadchan should have spelled it out, and writes “nirah lee” , and it’s a special case. You can’t pasken from here.
Plus he adds the “efsher” if such and such happened in this particular case. It’s nice learning but no psak .
In any case, he engages in interesting discussion for learning purposes, and let a posek who’s a bukee in shadchan inyanim pasken.
Thanks, DY, but I don’t see clear cut halacha here, and he writes about minhagim in different places, and unless I missed it, he doesn’t mention family.
In fact, I understand his opening line ( at Tes Zayin) to say, that what the Olam says that if a shadchan outright says that he doesn’t want a fee, nevertheless there’s an obligation to give him one, has no shoresh or mekor anywhere in Talmud or any posek.
If a family member redds a shidduch, it is assumed that he/she is not expecting going rate unless verbalized at the start. If he/she did not, then imho it’s not a standard shadchan case.
I don’t see extrapolation for this scenario from your Pischei Teshuva.
I feel that if my family makes a shidduch for my offspring and demands and expects full rate shadchan money , then he/she is a chazzer (te) and will cut him/her off , period. I’m not Vanderbilt and they know it.
Mentchlechkeit is also Torah.
What’s family for anyway? Bar mitzvahs & funerals?DY,
Kindly show us that halacha especially for family .If all ends well, ask family what gift they like and get them the best you can afford. Unless they’re poor, expecting full shadchan price from family , whatever that may be, is being a chazer…… Unless you’re rich.
Anyusername,
Well, apparently not, but the question is how long this initial phase will last. The Rambam supports Shmuel’s opinion, but that isn’t the final word. Nobody has the answer. Even the opinion that the world will be destroyed for a period of time is a machlokes. And if yes, the question is for how long, or does it even mean literally.Avi K…..That Rashi is actually ad loc in Sanhedrin and the gemarrah itself says so…. That the abundant fruits is yet the greatest sign of geula… EY has for thousands of years yielded norhing to any occupier or invader in abundance. Mark Twain described how desolate and forlorn EY is when he visited there 120 years ago. The signs of geula are here .. But only believers see it. The naysers have their heads and shitot in the sand.. Too bad.
…Actually, Arafat is an example of our own doing.
His stock fell to the depths, fled to Tunisia, and Rabin/ Peres brought him back to life figuring he’d be the best peace partner. They went against Hashem’s will who basically buried him already ,and we paid a terrible price..Lechaim,
It can. Take a look in Meseches Sanhedrin along with meforshim where this issue is discussed. Some say Techiyas will be earlier than others… We just don’t know till tat era is upon us…. Hopefully soon Bimheirah Beyameinu…Rebbitzen,
I heard the same thing about wives of rabbonim not covering hair from Litvishe people years ago. Apparently this happened in Lithuania and environs, not in Hungary .
You’ll have a hard time finding this info in contemporary Jewish publications, as they are very prone to revisionism and whitewashing history, especially bios, and especially photos.Rebbetzin,
Save your breath.
When Moshiach shows up on Rechov Yaffo inviting the kibbutz in Ivrit wearing a kippa sruga, the galus lovers will call him a Zionist. Talk about a good kugel recipe instead- one without so much salt.Lechaim,
Good question.
Your Rambam has already been explained to mean the first part of the geulah starting with Moshiach’s arrival, up to a certain point. His opinion is that there won’t be major world changes during that particular phase, it’s like Shmuel’s opinion on the gemarah. Even Shmuel , with whose opinion the Rambam apparently agrees, is only talking about the very initial geulah. Many discuss this.Rebbetzin,
Yes, basically we do not pasken straight out of a gemorrah, nir necessarily like a posek of years ago, but more like one in our generation- our contemporary. Not to mention, chassidim , yeshivish, Sefardim will not follow a uniform set of poskim necessarily. Years ago, an older Satmar chassid told my father about a certain ruling that the Satmar rebbe ordered. The rebbe was asked how he can go contrary to the Shulchan Aruch, which in effect he did. He responded , ” Yes, but we also have a mesorah.” The implication is clear.Ref. my earlier post. I’m researching the sefer in which I saw it, but I do recall it wasn’t stamm a local rabbi.. It was a rav, an gadol.
Scary, but my short term memory is giving me fits lately.
Only a month ago I read a tshuva from a rav who was asked by a prospective mechutan about the girl’s brother who was a “character”, and mentioned the Chazal, fearing the shidduch because of it. I can’t remember the rav’s name now.
Basically, he said that people for years lived in close proximity for almost their entire lives , as was in time of Chazal, so they learned from each other. Nowadays, he said , a brother might not be living in the same area, the family itself may residing in a larger communitu , so that there isn’t only one way of thinking and/or learning bad middos from another necessarily. So the brother fear doesn’t apply anymore. I’d add myself, that people these days are more engrossed with outside influences due to easier communication withe outside world, and almost certainty of family members living out of area and don’t spend their days mingling with each other as much as was years ago.
The rav told them to go for it if all else looks good.Re: Sheva Brochos and unlimited speeches.
Now you’re talkin’. Frankly, if I don’t hear another Sheva Brochos speech for the rest of my life, it’ll still be too soon.Why don’t you ask them individually flat out?
There have been successful marriages of couples with variant haskofos. Hershey chocolate above is a good example.
Even rabbonim and their rebbetzins don’t always match up exactly the same. The late Lubavitcher Rebbe’s wife was reportedly a more modern woman.Re: Good taste/bad taste
Taste is so subjective. Years ago, a columnist in the Jewish Press wrote about a lady who knew a learning kollel bochur who would only date a girl whom he described as ” drop-dead gorgeous.” He was very adamant about that from the get-go.
Well, this lady came across a girl who was not especiall pretty but she felt with all her heart that the girl would be an exceptional fit for this bochur…. How to talk her up?..
She decided to tell him that she knows a pretty girl, etc.etc.. but omitted ” drop dead gorgeous” as a description and praying that the boy wouldn’t ask.
Luckily, he didn’t… Probably knowing that this lady would never set him up with anybody less.
On the morrow of the 1st date the boy calls her and here’s a paraphrase of his very first words:
…… Why didn’t you tell me that she’s drop-dead gorgeous?
She’s the most beautiful girl I ever dated?…
That’s right… They married and as far as we hope, are living happily ever after.Joseph,
As you know, Chees Us & ilk took a lot of our stuff.
Except walking on water.๐คRe: ืื ืชืฉื ืขืืื ืืื
I saw an interpretation ( don’t recall who said it) that one shouldn’t put, or carry ืื ืชืฉื ืขืืื , his own sin on his fellow Jew unless he’s free of it himself.
… In fact, I now remember when the rebbe of a shteibel where we davened years ago, mentioned it before his rebbetzin’s kugel was brought in every Shabbos ” No children should be seated before the adults” he said. Then we wonder about lack of respect for parents, rabeiim and teachers.
1,
Let’s say you’re right, which I don’t agree anyway….
The fact is that they take seats ahead of older people who daven with them. It’s outrageous, because MOST fathers don’t give a hoot, spoil their kids , and don’t teach them derech eretz.. In fact, somebody bring down any opinion of any rav who agrees with that. I’d be more impressed that a rav speaks up or writes about it in his weekly column than a clever vort about the eigel hazahav in his drasha.Re: Maybe you were raised wrong?
Maybe. Because now as an adult the pipsqueaks all sit while when I go to an invited kiddush, I stand holding a plastic
plate with oily kugel on it. At least I learned that no good deed goes unpunished.Before we talk siddurim and seats, let’s talk kiddush.
Years ago, we youngsters were taught by our parents not to take seat until all older people were seated. We would also offer our seats to. any older person who arrived from another shul to be at the kiddush, and we always had food anyway.
Nowadays, almost half a kishke,cholent,schmaltz,fish, 3 kugeled kiddush table is surrounded by comfortably seated kids who will never offer their seats, and far worse…. Their fathers who will never ask them to rise for guests…
Fix this chutzpah , and teach manners to parents & children alike, then I’ll worry about siddurim and seat reservations.Avi K,
He’s probably expanding on “aspaklaria ham ‘eirah” and she’eino m’eirah.. Rabbeinu Bachai in parashat Voeirah writes that only Moshe’s nevuah was m’eirah, not the neviim, not even the 3 avot. He goes on to say that eino m’eirah is still strong and awesome but doesn’t provide the same strong light that Moshe saw, which was panim el panim.DY,
I can’t recall in which parsha he writes it, but Rabbeinu Bachai on Chumash, explains ruach hakodesh as levels, and interestingly puts r”h at the top__ calling it nevuah, and what WE commonly call r”h is at the lowest level. If my memory is correct, he refers to your gemarah in Sanhedrin as proof that the gemarah r”h outright nevuah.
Of course, there’s also Bas Kol, and I believe he writes about that also.That’s why I predict video clips to hear how she talks, see her height/ weight , how she walks & gestures…. see her teeth, eye color , glasses or contacts , dimples & freckles. How many girls want to submit to that?
DY,
I’m still interested to know how many people look at the picture other than the boy& parents. I suspect the photo makes its rounds ( of course, not everybody ) among family and maybe friends. I know 2 boys who’ve shown the pic of the girl they’re dating to others including myself, and I rebuked them for it. I’m concerned how widespread this is…. And not merely from a religious standpoint but just menchlichkeit and treating the girl like an object to get others’ opinions.Some people don’t photograph well. Others can show a photo professionally done with lighting, etc.
Many times you’re not attracted to the type of look of the girl in the photo, but when you meet her , you see her differently because she’s a live human, not photograph with no soul or inherent charm. Who knows how many shidduchim never materialized because of photos.
Who looks at the pics anyway?? The whole mishpacha?
Funny that women’s photos are Photoshopped or outright deleted in the frum media, yet here gazing at a female from every which angle is kosher.
I predict video clips are next, if it’s not already happening. Imagine the prepping for that.
BTW… How come the tzaddikel doesn’t have to send pics of himself ? Or does he?I am not really sure why you repeatedly insist DY is connected to the other posters but I am clarifying right now that he is not.
(whether or not he is a troll is another matter altogether….ย ๐น)ย -29
“Tzniut” was done on purpose.. my earlier post didn ‘t go thru.
… I’m not all suggesting that it’s true of all 5 Towners, or that there’s anything remotely wrong with it. But it’s how they probably imagine it to be –modern, modern.
DY,
Why don’t YOU tell us??
You’ve been asking for help on your trollypop threads with like: Any advice? Can you help me? Thank you so very much for any help..Any help would be appreciated..
Where’s your uncle? Sleeping?Sorry Winnie,
They’re out there but the hardest part will be to make up your mind after reading the features and the reviews.
Try B & H. You can call and have a sales rep talk to you direct, and they ship.Say guys, whadda think of this idea?
We book a Pesach gig in one of the hotels, we’ll put on skits for the guests and we get ourselves a free week with family. I’ll be your manager. We ‘ll come up with something between the 3 of us, I’m sure. Word on the street is people are getting tired of the same ‘ole boring entertainment.
Let’s not be batlonim, but we gotta work quick.Bashert is a mysterious concept. For both a bashert aka zivvug and parnossah, we’re told they’re like Kriyas Yam Suf.
There are so many pshatim on what that means, but I’ve not heard one that really speaks clearly to my heart… as I heard a rav once say about another topic to which he was seeking an answer, ” A knockout terutz”
Has anybody?Seriously, there are mothers who hold on to their sons and won’t let them marry. I know of 2 cases where the men married after mom passed away, and they were now in their 50s.
Joseph
๐คฃ๐@ Joseph, grey market ink.
But they’re not as good.
( oops… you used Daas Yochid’s italic style of quoting others, you use regular quote marks.. Be more careful)Consider envy in the mix.
Lots of people have an image of super$$$, uppity, lawns, etc.
They just want to draw some 5 Towns blood because it makes them feel better about themselves.Justajew,
You did the good thing. Be blessed…….…… And, when does he learn Torah ..??
“…….Yeah! You donโt get benefit of the doubt when you are constantly bring down other Jews….”
Yup, that’s his thing alright. He’s a fanatical extremist, except to when it comes to geneivas daas of the blog and blasting Jews he doesn’t like with some interesting nom de plumes..
From DaasYochid with a straight face :
“……..nice troll job…..”Are you the same troll as the other 5T thread?”
The Bobbsey Twins and MORE …. Haaaaahh
You can fool some of the people…..etc..etc…
That’s a good one.Coffee,
Oh, 5 Towns?? No problem.
In that case I’ll order lunch someplace indoors for the two of us .. Don’t want to be recognized walking on Central Ave.๐๐๐๐RebYidd,
Nah, you’re not a troll.. You just run threads asking difficult questions and make people work too hard. They’re like riddles, mostly unsolvable..๐ซ๐ซ๐คฃ๐คฃCoffee,
Yeah, I’m sure there are more than one, and multiple names.
However, with certain threads I’m betting a crate of long shaitels on Brooklyn, that’s how confident I am.
I’ll even treat you to a free lunch at your favorite coffee cafe and explain why , though it’s rather simple.“……If you are so yeshivish that you say CHEVRA, why do you send your son to MO HS?…..”
There you go, FB. He’s been doing this for so long, he’s bound to trip up and make a mistake.
Enough of this for me.. Oh, for some reason I’m humming this old Yiddish theater song …..
Oy, oy, oy , Yuh-ssel, yussel, yussel yussel …..โฌโฌโฌKvod Cholent,
So the doc on Ave. J sends regards.
His business card reads : Dr. Youseff D.Y. Abu-laffia.
Hours are : 9-6 , Mon-Thurs.
We here, be your references.