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Really, bpt and minyangal? If you’re going to divorce for that, you could divorce for anything! The husband could be a very nice husband and father that is going through a crisis, and needs guidance and support- NOT abandonment!
Walton, well said! Especially as the singles get older it is extremely demeaning to refer to them as boys and girls.
There is never a cut-off or excuse, unless the husband is sincerely worried about the wife’s health.
I am horrified to hear a husband behave such a way to his wife! (although I do know that this behavior is far from rare)
What about “Grill-It”?
If this story is a real issue, than the “weight issue” can only be the pit of the iceberg! I wish Mammamia would expound upon her previous statement…
Would it be possible for you and some of your friends to spend more time with her, and help her use her time productively (even grocery shopping)?
YW Moderator-42
lol! Wow, so you go all the way back. All the adventures, and stories…but you prob enjoy being a Mod more anyways 😉
One doesn’t contradict the other. You can miss a light and be late for an appointment and feel bad and be disappointed- even if you have no one in particular that should feel disappointed at. It doesn’t make you a worse person. Just move on and don’t let it aggravate you too much.
Of course not. But to be worthy of olam habah, it’s not as simple as saying ashrei 3 times a day.
AND if it was mental illness, then you can’t necessarily blame the person for committing suicide, and I’m sure the person wouldn’t lose out entirely on olam habah.
Which work? I never heard of a shadchan calling up the references, an intergral part of the search process. Besides, most parents would be wary to put all their faith in a shadchan’s research. Unfortunately, shadchanim seem to be getting a negative rep.
deiyezooger, The term toy in relation to Torah is a little demeaning, rather it means that you should get the same enjoyment and nachas from the torah, that a child gets from a toy. But of course your answer is still the best!
Wolf, I don’t understand your last statement. Emotions are normal and define our human nature. It’s what we do with our feelings that matter. You can still be disappointed about something seemingly small as long as you put those feelings to constructive use.
I second coffee addict. It’s not just about doing it, it’s about doing it right.
IUseBrains, interesting idea but what professional shadchan has time for all that work? The money does not match all the time that’s put in.
Aries, that is a very pessimistic way of looking at the situation. Obviously people have bechirah, but we are all shelicihim Hashem. If Hashem had decreed such, then Leiby would be living today. We have to remember that we do not live in a perfect world where we can see the direct outcome of our actions. The most we can do is daven, do mitzvos, and strengthen our bitachon.
I also like silly putty and yoyos (and crayons and play dough). Also those puzzle balls are really addicting. There’s nothing wrong with being a kid at heart 🙂
Obaminator, that’s another fair solution. Hatzlacha rabah! Being the “bad guy” is never an easy thing to do.
popa, lol.
My identity is still hidden!
fix-it-up, oh man! So annoying! What was your reaction?
Obaminator, I don’t really think there is ever a good time for people to be laid off, but if you need to do it, try to give as much advance notice as possible, so that they can hopefully find a job in the meantime.
IUseBrains, but you as the shadchan wouldn’t call up references. You would be setting the person up based on your limitted knowledge to people that might not be appropriate…
MiddlePath, thats what I’ve been saying! I’m glad someone agrees 🙂
IUseBrains, not to argue which kind of shadchanim work better, but each person has a different mediation for meeting their bashert. What works for one might not work for another. A quieter boy/ girl might make a better impression on a (even a not close) friend, than on a shadchan he/ she meets only once. Shadchanim might have access to more people and more of a motivation, but a random neighbor might have the mazal to make the shidduch.
Dr. Pepper, and I thought those kind of things only happened to me!
Aron’s story has many holes in it. There is no way of being certain exactly what happened.
So what do you assume “triggered” this first incident? This would be an awfully big and sick starting crime to just come out of the blue…
Is she aware that she is addicted?
fix-it-up, here’s your opportunity to do a chessed, by letting other people do a chessed with you! 😉
Golden Mom, you can’t prevent couple jealousy just by not inviting them over. I’m sorry that happened, but even if you don’t invite them over, that won’t stop them from talking and comparing if they want to.
Ender, not everyone has room to host so many people, so should that prevent them from performing hachnasas orchim?
YW Moderator-42
When did you join? Just wondering 😉
outoftownjew, I’m so curious what you ended up doing…
happiest, well said! 🙂
Droid, I hope you don’t think that Aron’s behavior came out of nowhere. Reported or not reported, this could not possibly have been his first incident.
emlf
What about doing hachnasas orchim? Young couples, old couple, singles, widowed- they’re all a mitzvah! You don’t want to distort the concept of tznius and lose out on a great mitzvah.
Of course I would agree with you if you worry that the guest’s tznius or behavior might not be appropriate for the household…
Questions like these have no set answer. It depends on so many factors, mentality, culture, the individual child, nature vs. nurture, etc.
However, I do look forward to hearing all the opinions on this discussion…
Wolf, Since this is not for monetary profit or gain, they didn’t “cheat” you. But you still have a right to be disappointed, the way one would be if a trip was changed due to weather conditions.
Mentchlichkeit would have dictated them forewarning the mass (even a sign on the door) so that people would be aware of the change in plans (I’m sure they weren’t thinking)- perhaps that would be a more profitable topic of discussion.
IUseBrains, from the nature of your posts, it seems you are venting frustration about mob, not looking for advice or opinions on the matter. Which is perfectly fine, but if that is the case you should say it. It would earn you more sympathy and kinder responses.
If the guy or girl say yes to a third date that usually means they’re interested…
Signs of disinterest include:
frequent glances at watch, non-stop talk about weather, awkward silences that are a bit too pleasant, umfocused, and of course when the first big smile of the date comes when the dater drops his datee home!
oomis, More divorces isn’t necessarily a bad thing after 6 months. If there is a BIG problem, better to get divorced sooner before pregnancy which would obviously complicate things much more. There are many reasons people get divorced (I’m not here to discuss that). But from the cases that I know personally, the divorce was backed by daas torah and it was the only option that the person had.
Why don’t you recreate a romantic or fun date that you had? It’s a good opportunity to reminisce and “be young” again.
adorable, I hear you and think it’s totally normal (probably cuz I can be like that sometimes).
What I try to do is think about what I want before I get to the place, and order the first thing that tickles my fancy. I rarely have regrets, but then again this is food that we’re talking about 😉
Iusebrains, your’re speaking from 1 half of the coin and you give no basis to back up your blanket statement. As tempting as it would be to “blanketly” disagree with you, I would first like to hear what you have to say in more detail.
Happiest, at risk of sounding repetitive, I will give you my advice. Everyone discovers at one point or another that life doesn’t seem “fair.” I’m sure you can think of plenty of examples of “injustices.”
But that’s why we were put in this world. To see Hashem’s hashgacha from behind the gloomy clouds. If that was an easy feat, then we would all be malachim. This is a NORMAL struggle that people have to deal with time and time again.
Now when it’s harder for you, even a davening with less kavanah than norm, will be rubies and diamonds before Hashem! Every step you take to overcome your overwhelming feelings and work on yourself, will bring you closer to Hashem. It will be hard, but from what I see of you (from my limitted cr experience), I know you will do us proud 🙂
hudi, I meant it 🙂
Hudi, I don’t know what confrontation you’re talking about, but whatever you wish. Let me know what you decide.
Sorry, they are still usually not paid by the hour in day camps, though that would certainly be nice.
happym19, lkavod shabbos it’s nice and even a mitzvah to wear a little makeup.
But there is no reason for preteens and young teens to showcase themselves every day in layers of bright makeup that makes them look 10 years older and makes passerbys eyes pop out.
That’s a hard one, since it really depends on the girl’s circle, but in my opinion other than for simachos, girls shouldn’t start wearing makeup until they’re “on the market”
Pac-Man, I meant male photographers, but you are right, even if most don’t it’s still inappropriate for men to be watching women dancing…
What do you suggest be done to resolve it?
bortezomib, I’m glad it worked out in the end. Good luck with calculus!
I go where I get the best/ funny/ inspiring/ most exciting/ intellectually stimulating news- and that would definitely be the CR
Aha! Thanks for explaining, Baron. I look forward to seeing that subtitle.