Forum Replies Created
then who cares? let the father rot. unless he has contact with the kid in which case if you want to get involved speak to the mother about giving her child extra chizuk against what teh father may try and tell him
i get that all the time. its always awkward but i usually make an effort. basically i just start with jewish identity like “oh! that means youre jewish!” and then we get into a discussion about jews and stuff and i try to recommend some reading material and stuff like that…yeah. it sometimes works and sometimes backfires but its always worth trying.
how old is the kid?
“But seriously there is a Kid involved here and the kid is attending Yeshiva”
how does that work?!
why associate with a kofer?
youre on the internet…google is your friend…
lol middlepath…i build my own computers…you build your own cars…:D
honestly teh car i want is a lincoln town car because those are massive and im a big fellow 😀
i write professionally…i like doint it but uts still work so if i make a typo i dont bother correcting it unless its for my professional stuff becuase i just cant be bothered. the smae holds true for grammar and punctuationSeptember 8, 2011 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm in reply to: #816350
i sincerely hope that one day someone has the guts to beat this rasha in front of his daughter and the rest of his family. they should see him lying on teh ground moaning in pain, then his feeling of power will be shattered and they wont fear him any longer.
which all ties into why we have to go through this world in the first place…September 8, 2011 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm in reply to: #816332
Halevi: i get your point, but do tell, where aside from the coffee room do you hear these issues discussed?September 8, 2011 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm in reply to: Who is your favorite member, responding to threads? #807133
my ego thanks you all
yeah i hope the print it to…my gaavah needs to see my name in print and my taavah needs the money in the bank 😀
we were having our haschalas gemara party and our rebbi came in and told us that the twin towers had been attacked and had fallen…then he took all our cookies. it was sad. so was tha towers falling.
also oomis as i undertood the question he was talking about closet apikorsim…if not then what you said stands.
yeah well…tell that to ami magazine when they send me what will probably be a rejection email…they dont like my stuff anymore
mytake: i think it started with reform and haskala…we felt a need to completely isolate ourselves from that way of thinking and from anything which might be considered secular. granted at the time most of teh problems listed above werent recognized by ANYONE as problems, but lets focus on hashkafa and emuna questions. such questions were seen as unacceptable at the time because refrom and haskala were gaining traction (each in their own time obviously) and in order to combat those movements, we couldnt allow a pischon peh for any kind of minus or apikorsus. i understand that. what i THINK happened is that mentality carried over the years until today and hashkafa and emuna are still off limits.
the other problems too…as far as i can tell this need for perfection stems from teh same place. we needed to be absolutely perfect because we had to be head and shoulders above reform and haskala. we couldnt be imperfect. idk…thats the way i see it…now im not saying that that must be the reason for stigma for every person, i just think thats the subconscious undercurrent that fuels it.
btw happiest it really is good having you back 🙂
i had an excellent rebbi in 12th grade who helped me sort through a bunch of issues i had during high school. he understood my problems and tried as best he could to make 12th grade bearable. i really must give him credit…i was NOT an easy student to deal with
also my 12th grade english teacher for giving me everything i needed to enable me to write as i do today
woo! soliek how long have you people gone for?September 7, 2011 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm in reply to: Does Anyone Else Find This Short Story Disturbing? #840716
well thats irrelevant because i really like apple cherry pie!
teh video shows a guy walk up some stairs to his wife, seemingly greet her, then walk over to his daughter and whack her in the face a few times, throw her down, smack her while shes down, she gets up and about 10 seconds later he shoves her into a wall and smacks her again at which point a chiloni guy walks over and shoves the father away and starts (presumably) yelling as a crowd gathers…thats basically it.
the guy is a moron for two reasons. first of all there is never any call for that kind of abuse, and secondly its in public. i can understand smacking a kid…even a teenager (whatever thats a different argument) but not like that and CERTAINLY not in public!
ugh…i had some awful school experiences…but im past them so why botherSeptember 7, 2011 3:16 pm at 3:16 pm in reply to: Does Anyone Else Find This Short Story Disturbing? #840713
“”today is a day”
HEY! the reflexive property is important! or so my 10th grade math teacher claimed…
“When I was younger and the plane would go into violent turbulence I would silently say Shema Yisrael. Now so many years later I just prepare myself do die. This may be the end and hopefully it won’t hurt too much. Has is ever ocurred to the writer of the very long article that ther are people out there who THINK and do not beleive or practice superstition and folklore!”
speak plainly…what exactly is your point?
“bomb: are you in science? (metastatize)”
I read that as “are you insane” the answer to which would be an emphatic YES! 😀
nope im not in science…ive only ever went to high school and have no intention of ever walking into a college…
by the way…Chazon is a very ironic program. rabbi mechanic shows up and jumps around yelling about atheists and hashem and the universe and evolution and whatever else he yaps about…and when hes finished around an hour later everyone is shaking their heads saying “why on earth did i just sit through that…im not OTD” but the next day…you hear them discussing every hashkafic and emuna related topic mentioned in the lecture for teh next week and a half. and i think thats the greatest success of Chazon. that they get bochurim and rebbeim talking about these things.
hehe…dont make me out to be be more than i am…if i were telling kids what was right and wrong…*shudders*
by the way, just a side point to all those advocates of emuna peshuta out there. emuna peshuta is not “i dont know why anything happens, i just know it does and i dont need to know anything for my emuna…just being told by my parents that hashem exists is enough for me”
THAT is potentially damaging because if someone with a stronger will comes up to you and starts forcing his ideas on you, you become the perfect because you have no idea what to say. bari v’shema, bari adif.
the way ive always understood emuna peshuta is that you can delve into the deepest philosophical levels of theology and theory of emuna and hashkafa…but at the end of the day none of use can prove emperically that hashem exists. THAT always has to be purely based on faith and THAT is emuna peshuta. the more ive looked into it…because i used to be insecure in my emuna…the more i understood that i can look to theory all i want for answers about hashem…but unless i was willing to let go of logic eventually and just believe in hashem without feeling teh need to prove his existence emperically i would never have true emuna. and teh more i learned teh more i understood that.
Get yourself someone to talk to thats either not involved in a similar situation or who was but is past all that now…commiserating is helpful because misery likes company, but you need someone with a birds eye perspective to talk to
[insert generic comment about staring at women here]
project yes is actually a good idea…you should try that. i used project yes for a year and loved it. (i also just applied to be a mentor there )
RK: I assume that you meant someone who doesnt actually believe in anything…i would imagine that the answer is no…
EH: im not starting any organizations…
i was in yeshiva X for ninth grade and then switched to yeshiva Y.
in yeshiva X you couldnt ask the top bachurim questions. i was mid-high level in shiur, not the best but i was up there. every time it came time for a test or a farher, all the best bochurim would team up with each other, and the weaker guys were left to fend for themselves. so i basically had a chabura of 9 guys who i would teach 2 months of material to in 2 weeks. once in a while i would have a question myself seeing as i didnt have a proper chavrusa of my own. so i go up to one of the best bachurim and i ask him if he has time to answer a really quick question. he says “i’m sorry, im busy learning”
i wanted to punch the little brat square in the jaw. what did you just say?! YOURE LEARNING?! you little piece of trash…WHAT DO YOU THINK IM DOING?! no. apparently my learning was worthless compared to his.
or when it came to hashkafa questions. none of the rebbeim wanted to answer anyone;s questions.
when i switched yeshivos everything changed. the best bachurim were more than happy to answer anyone;s questions (within reason) and the rebbeim encouraged discussions about emuna and hashkafah. in both places there were people i knew would go off the derech. in yeshiva X a lot of those people DID go off the derech. in yeshiva Y NONE of them went off the derech. nuff said?
Mytake: and why do you suppose that is. because these problems were invented in the year 2000? ive encountered a lot of stigma in my short 19 years in this world, and i cant remember how many times ive heard some idiot say “nisht bay inzerer”
REALLY?! really?! no, of course nisht bay inzerer…THEYRE ALREADY OFF THE DERECH!September 6, 2011 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm in reply to: Does Anyone Else Find This Short Story Disturbing? #840701
the title is misleadingSeptember 6, 2011 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm in reply to: Does Anyone Else Find This Short Story Disturbing? #840699
“FIRST OF ALL KENSINGTON IS A GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD!SECOND OF ALL THE BLOCK THEY MOVED ONTO ONLY HALF THE BLOCK IS JEWISH AND ALOT ARE AWAY NOW.THIRD,THIS PAST SHABBOS MY HUSBAND NOTICED A NEW FACE IN SHUL(THE HUSBAND) AND WENT OVER TO HIM TO FIND OUT IF HE IS NEW TO THE NEIHGBORHOOD.(WE LIVE A FEW BLOCKS AWAY)HE WELCOMED THEM TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD COME TO US FOR A SHABBOS MEAL.
YES,EVERY NEIGHBORHOOD HAS PEOPLE WHO ARE FRIENDLY AND SOME THAT KEEP TO THEMSELVES BUT KENSINGTON HAPPENS TO BE ON THE WHOLE A VERY FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE YESHIVISH,CHASIDISH,MODERN ORTHODOX ECT.. GET ALONG VERY WELL.ANOTHER THING,PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT BLOCK AROUND ALL KNOW EACH OTHER NOT LIKE OTHER AREAS.
I SAT SHIVA IN ANOTHER NEIGHBORHOOD IN BROOKLYN A FEW YEARS AGO WITH MY SISTER FROM AN OUT OF TOWN COMMUNITY. ALOT OF FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS OF DIFFERERENT AGES,FROM KENSINGTON, CAME TO BE MENACHEM AVEL,MY SISTER WAS SO AMAZED AT WHAT NICE PEOPLE THEY ARE. SHE (FROM OUT OF TOWN)SAID “I WISH I HAD SUCH NICE PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD””
hit caps lock once more…and this has to be the shortest short story ever…how is this a short story?!
i was going to skip over this thread and not read it, but then i saw all those exclamation points and i couldnt resist…
want reliable vitamins? eat a carrot.
quit posting on YW and do your homework?
“I’ve aske this before: Why cant the posts be listed in reverse order, I.E. the latest post first?”
your name wouldnt happen to be raphael kaufman…would it?
yes. and then cry about your guilt.September 6, 2011 12:49 am at 12:49 am in reply to: For Princesseagle and anone who thinks "the grass is greener" out there #808808
have you let anyone try? or have you given up before you even started…
seriously…stop worrying about shidduchim. if you cant handle school how exactly do you think you can handle marriage. shidduchim should be the lowest priority on your list. as for skipping school for a year, personally i think thats an awful idea because it would just make you withdraw into yourself which would just make any possible treatment worse…
go get yourself a messed up life. those threads seem to be blockbusters.
lol i should start charging royalties for these posts…”unless taken to heart by specified user, the fee per word is 10$” :D:D:D loljk enjoy 😛 its not like i have anything better to do at 5 AM (which is when i submitted that post 😀 😀 😀 )
kill someone…all teh runing from cops and avoiding capture will take your mind off your problems 🙂
just do what everyone else does and get kipling…you know thats what youre gonna end up doing anyway…
“the last time I heard of a talking fish he was saying “give me some fillet O’ fish give me that fish”
what if it were you hanging up on this wall…
someone approve my pending post…?
“Everyone says I’m “strong”-what in the world does that mean? Physically I don’t have a choice and I’m still here. BUT, if it was my choice I would’ve been dead. Just trying to come up with a painfree way of killing myself-any ideas? 🙁 I just CAN’T start school-the social scene, the academics! HELP! I only want to die!”
as youve probably realized by now if youve been following the CR for teh past 3 months that youre not the only one with a messed up life. ive had problems, middlepath has problems, happiest has problems, a bunch of other people who i cant remember have issues…we all know what its like to have difficult lives and i an tell you thatyou havent given up on yourself yet even though you may have tried suicide before, from what i see based on your posts i can pretty much say for crtain that you havent given up. what you lack…is the help you need. the very fact that youre posting about your problem indicates 2 things
1) that you really want help
2) that you havent yet found the help you need.
you posted above about not wanting to fill your teachers in because it might shter a shidduch. im about to be blunt. teh way you are now will shter your shidduchim. dont kid yourself. you cannot get married as you are now, with all your issues, whatever they may be. before you can even begin to worry about shidduchimn you need to get yourself sorted out and you cant do that if you shut yourself off for fear of stigma. social stigma is irrelevant. teh peopel who adhere to those stigmas should be to you as the dust on teh bottom of your shoes. they are disgusting ignorant backwards idiots who are not worth ruining your life over. know that, understand that, and internalize it and youre on your way.
next you need to find someone who you trust absolutely with everything. someone outside your family and general structure of authority, either a close friend or a therapist or something like that and talk to them. tell them everything. whatevers on your mind…fears…hopes…dreams…dreams…everything. you need to have one person who you feel comfortable telling anything and everything to and who needs to want to hear it. dont force yourself on this person, the interest needs to be mutual. but yeah… everyone needs an outlet and while the internet is a good start, it wont help you in real life because the internet itself is a smokescreen behind which you hide yourself. in order to help your real world self you need to get some real world help.
you are not defined as a sum of your problems. you need to understand that and internalize it. YOU are not “an anorexic” YOU are not “a unipolar depressive” you are a person. a tzelem elokim. you are a person with a neshama and all the kochos of any other person who happens to be challeneged by a specific set of nisyonos. your problems are not you. they do not define you. they are like a coat which you can take off whenever you like.
another thing you must understand and internalize is that, like i said above, you are not the only person with problems. now think opf someone whose problems you find overwhelming. picture in your mind one person who has problems that to you seem insurmountable and has risen past all of it. once you have a clear image in your mind of such a person, remind yourself as many times as you need to that a person is NEVER given a nisayon with they are incapable of overcoming, and that one person;s nisayon is not the same as another’s you are challenged with your problems, but that person who you have in your mind seems to have a nisayon which to you seems insurmountable, but they were able to overcome because a person is never given a nisayon which they are incapable of overcoming. you need to truly understand and believe that.
id imagine that youre seeing or have seen a psychiatrist and have been prescribed some kind of regimen. stick to it. seriously…i dont know what causes your cycles becuase you havent posted that yet so i cant explain why they happen, but what i CAN say is that if your doctors prescribe you a medicinal regimen…stick to it. dont skip days…dont pick and choose…do what they say. if you feel that its causing you more harm than good, dont stop…keep taking it and talk to your doctors as soon as you can.
if you feel yourself sinking into a deep depression, or feeling suicidal, or any of that stuff…call someone. anyone. anyone you know. even on shabbos…(im not a rav so i cant give a definitive psak but from what i understand it is sakanas nefashos. go ask a rov) and talk to them about anything. just talk…could be about your problems or it could be about the weather…just keep talking until you feel it pass.
i remember when i was incapable of talking about my problems IRL and one of the biggest reasons was because i felt that vulnerability would only worsen my situation. i was wrong. once i opened up my life got a lot better.
i am of teh belief that a person CANNOT live life without there being one single event that makes every struggle worthg it. all teh heartache, all teh sadness, anger…everything. there is always something in every persons life that would make everything worth it. find those points in your life and focus on them. what i did was make a blog where i can post all this stuff even if no one ever sees it. sit down in front of a computer and just write it all out. every good moment in your life that makes it all worth it, print it and keep it near you and when you feel you need something to keep you going, read it. trust me youll smile 🙂
find a personal outlet for your emotions. music…art…building…whatever. for me its writing. i have counhtless articles sitting on my hard drive that i never show to anyone but i still write them because once im done i feel such a cathartic relief. i sit down in front of my computer and just start typing and i just keep typing till i cant type anymore and when im done i lay back in my bed…completely drained and exhausted, but also relieved, because it feels good to have a personal outlet to release pent up emotion.
know why people call you strong? (getting back to what i was saying earlier about finding someone whose nisonos seem insurmountable to you) teh reason why you seem so stron to others even though you dont really feel it is because to them…you are the prson who is faced with such massive obstacles and is overcoming them. you are the person they hold in their minds eye when they need inspiration. you are the person who stands as their rock when they feel that they are losing hope. they look to you and see you still here, still fighting, still surviving and they draw strength from your fortitude. your kochos are greater than you can ever imagine and so many people now can draw from that and help themselves. you are a great and tremendous influence on people who have your problems or any other problems who are reading this.
i dont know if youve read my threads, or sister bears where she was discussing her friend, or middlepath’s thread, ESPECIALLY middlepath;s thread. look at how many people have come forward and told their stories and asked advice. its because they felt that they were alone until one person came forward, shared his or her story and let them all know that they are NOT alone, and they are NOT weird becuase they suffer from XY and Z, that society can go take a long walk off a short pier because they no longer need society’s approval. that they have friends and peers who suffer along with them, and bear their burdens and can help and support them. you have now joined our ranks. welcome and congratulations. b’ezras hashem you WILL be able to help yourself and many many others overcome all of your nisyonos.September 5, 2011 7:53 am at 7:53 am in reply to: For Princesseagle and anone who thinks "the grass is greener" out there #808805
so ive been told..i just have no idea where to go…
nonono im all for it…its healthy to have an outlet where you can say anything and get anything off your chest…im just curious why all of a sudden
to be fair a teacher has no reason to asume that…but wow…how are you doing now? what was the backstory (if you feel comfortable sharing) wassup?