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You try not to eat dairy equipment? Well you never really should, I mean, it can be very detrimental to your digestive system, it’s not really made for metals, plastics, and rubber
And even if by some odd chance dunno meant food processed on dairy equipment, most likely (I assume; someone can correct me if I’m wrong) the coffee is made on parve equipment.
The whole system is warped! and that’s why there’s a Shidduch crisis. The boys have created for themselves an elitist attitude and it’s not a healthy attitude.
You’ve got it backwards. There’s a shidduch crises because there are more girls looking to get married than boys looking to get married. And yes, some boys therefore develop an elitist attitude; it means they don’t have proper midos to begin with. Some girls, despite the situation, still have an elitist attitude. Those girls also don’t have proper midos.
To say that I claim that taking on goyish holidays is such a distortion of what i wrote.
You’re right; I apologize for my implicit agreement.
s2021,
I don’t know if you were in the situation of a neder (you would have to ask a posek), but even if so, being matir neder works retroactively, so you should do that.
May Hashem bentch you with simcha!
charliehall,
Makes sense.
Why do all geirim fall into the halachic category of zonah, considering a ger is halachicly considered to have been reborn at the time of his conversion (to the point that his birth parents are no longer his parents)?
Not everything starts from scratch. Does a ger have to pay back debts from before he was m’gayer?
Not taking on goyish holidays is a chumrah? Sorry I didn’t know that!
Anything which someone doesn’t keep is a chumrah to them.
If there have been attempts to repeal the Blaine Amendment which failed for political reasons, wouldn’t enrolling our children in public schools (assuming that there really is not enough room) have the effect of forcing the state to repeal it?
By the way, this nap thing is a corruption the Shiur of drinking until you fall asleep from it.
That’s what R’ Yaakov Kaminetzky zt”l did.
Aries,
I think the issue should have been brought to your son’s attention, but not directly by the “girl”.
A general mechilah does not carry the same weight, IMO, as a specific one.
On the other hand, to ease the discomfort on your son’s part (and for tznius reasons) he should be asked for mechilah by a third party.
This happened to me once; I was the third party. The “boy” didn’t even remember being offended, but he was moichel b’lev shalem just in case.
Now we’re on a different page 🙂
If the food is free, does that make it okay even if it’s not kosher?
I don’t think I would call me that.
That’s good, because if you did, you wouldn’t be one 🙂
As far as nedarim, IIRC, R’ Moshe says it depends on whether you keep C”Y because you think C”S is assur or as a chumra.
I personally accepted it as bli neder and occasionally on erev R”H specify it during hatoras nedarim.
Otherwise don’t start
If the reason one is not starting is because of nedarim, it’s easy enough to say “bli neder”.
Aries,
True. But it seems that we agree that the issue brought up by PBA of making the other party wait is a non-issue (that’s assuming it’s okay to give multiple yeses, I don’t know what modern protocol is and I’m not too comfortable with it). I think he was assuming that if a boy says yes, he should not go out with someone else until the girl gives an answer.
As far as how to push off the shadchan/other side tactfully, although if necessary, “muttar l’shanos mipnei hashalom”, wouldn’t it be better to say that it’s taking time to reach the people you want to speak to? I suppose it depends on how much time you are taking.
Sacrilege,
I just saw your post now, so I’m adding to this one. I am not advocating saying yes to more than one at a time; it seemed to me that Aries was, and Oomis seems to as well. I personally think there should be some time that the boy should wait, for your reasons. I was actually half serious before when I said four days; there needs to be a balance between reasonable time to do research and how long a boy has to stay in limbo while awaiting an answer.
Oomis,
If either party can agree to see multiple prospective spouses at the same time and go out with whomever says yes first, wouldn’t the issue of taking too much time be moot? Let someone take as much time as they feel they need to make a decision, they’re not hindering the other party anyway.
Sacrilege,
This was the point I was getting at, I wasn’t trying to compromise anyone’s respect.
R’ Chaim Kanievsky, in his sefer on Maseches Mezuzah, wants to say that 3.5 is “lav davka” but brings two proofs otherwise and seems to conclude that it is specifically 3.5 years.
The source is Yoma 11a.
As far as tefillin, if worn regularly, it is recommended but not required (practically, sofrim may recommend against it, as shlomozalman said). If worn inconsistently, it is a requirement. If they fell into water, it seems that they need to be checked immediately.
Wolf,
I think BAU stands for business as usual.
Daas: if you check after 4 years, you can or will end up with a 7 year period of only one checking.
How so? I added the stipulation that it also be checked after another three years.
Of course, if you take my scenario to its extreme, I could check my mezuzos twice in one day and then, seven years later, twice again, ‘??? . So it’s possible that it needs literally 3.5; I’m talking off of the top of my head so I’ll ??”? research and let you know what I find.
Homeowner,
I copied from that link what was there when it was up.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/sitting-in-starbucks-right-now#post-208664
Daas: IOW, you’re maintaining 3.5 years is the maximum allowed before you are required to check again?
I’m not sure, it might still be true that if you check after 4, you would then check after another three. That would satisfy the math, but I need to check the sources; twice in seven years might be a way of saying every 3.5.
No, but when they call back they are usually met with “Oh he has just gotten a yes back from someone else so he is busy right now”. You never know if that is true or not.
Do you think that, if true, the boy had a right to say yes to two girls at the same time and see which one said yes first?
Why not?
I’ll assume that your not asking Aries why she never heard of twice in seven years, so I’ll answer.
You’re assuming that you get to pick which seven years to look at, but it has to be true about any seven year stretch. Say for example, that you had them checked in year 0 (when you bought them), year 6, and year 12. You would say that from 0-6 they were checked twice, and from 6-12 checked twice. However, from 3-9, for example, they were only checked once.
I never took a poll 🙂
I was answering real-brisker’s question about how could the answers to the OP’s questions be yes and yes.
Has anyone ever retracted a “Yes” b/c the other side was taking too much time?
I once wanted to (after we had gone out a couple of times, she said she needs a week to think about it) but I was advised not to, because despite the fact that she displayed a lack of consideration, I might get a bad reputation if I called it off.
Most of the time you won’t find out everything you need to know before you start dating. Here’s a secret “people lie when they give information”.
Really? I never woulda thunk it. 😉
Seriously, it’s circular; people are comfortable giving false and incomplete information because they figure, “let them go out and they’ll see for themselves anyhow”. The more emphasis placed on information rather than dating, the more truthful the information would be. I say this on a societal scale (for example, I think it works that way by chassidim). On an individual basis, you have to deal with reality.
How about we compromise on 4 days and call it a night? 🙂
knee-jerk emotional reactions
You mean like your post?
48 hours, not including shabbos. After that you move on, and you do not need to even tell the shadchan. Assuming a girl asked a shadchan to redt a shidduch to a boy, the boy is under no obligation to get back at all. Usually, the boy is not even told that the girl was behind it. A shidduch begins when the boy says yes. Yes. Whatever. That is ridiculous.
Yes, absolutely ridiculous.
Cholent on Shabbos morning, and coffee (brewed and freshly opened jar) during the week.
No and no.
And until the next shipment of C”Y comes to my far OOT community, I’m drinking soy milk.
Then I guess you are a ??? ???!
noone that i know dates before 24-25 so your statement about 23 is wrong
Are you an “alter Mirrer”?
SHILSHI said and i quote “how can anyone drink from starbucks even now, knowing what we now know. even if more information if forthcoming, we already know there is a major problem. i dont see how its possible to drink there” and this is before the cRc has made their final desicion.
He’s right to advocate not drinking there before the cRc makes their final determination.
pba,
I didn’t know it took so long to recover from a caffeine overdose.
Daas,
That’s actually not as easy as it sounds. Most people either hold of Rabbeinu Tam’s definition of Shkia or they don’t. Some are Machmir on Shabbos not to do Melacha, but otherwise it’s usually not just a Chumra.
I’m not sure how easy it sounded, but I’ll explain; if you hold like ?”? ????? ????, you might still try to daven before the earlier ?????. If you hold like the ??????, you can’t rely on the later ?????.
MDG,
I never meant to say that R’ Moshe reconsidered or contradicted himself in any way. Only that the practical application of the heter changes based on the circumstances.
I think that “ba’al nefesh yachmir” meant even if difficult.
You ask which yechidim he refers to, and I think he means the general population, as opposed to yeshivos.
I agree that it’s possible to understand it the way you did, but besides the fact that I think my way is the simpler way, it also conforms with the other two teshuvos.
I still see no reason not to accept the other two teshuvos, especially the one from the ????? ??????. The fact that it was not printed in Igros Moshe is immaterial; many of his teshuvos were not.
The guy who eats treif does not have to go to everyone in town and say he’s sorry.
Yes, and I related a possibility as to why that is true.
I think you are right that bein adam l’chaveiro is also bein adam l’makom to a larger degree than the reverse. You seem to agree with my opinion that it’s also true the other way around, but to a lesser extent.
If I’m not mistaken, we’re saying the same thing, but in different words.
“But why would one answer yes and yes?”
??????, ??????.
(It’s not my answer; it’s what one could answer.)
Ctrl Alt Del,
I don’t know if you’re still checking for responses, but yes, I’m “uncomfortable with the drinking going on”, and I wasn’t trying to hide it. But your arguments were wrong. My argument is that some people don’t know their limits. But some do, and it’s not for you to decide.
My understanding is that since a proper Jewish home is a place for the Shechinah to dwell, as is the Bais Hamikdash, the mizbaiach cries when that potential for “hashroas haShechinah” is destroyed.
This does not mean that there aren’t individual cases where divorce is unfortunately necessary.
????, ????, ???? ????
Who said there’s no problem with Indian hair shaitels? Besides, nobody’s advocating burning down Starbucks, just holding off until the issue is studied and a final determination is made.
I have never understood why this “mitzvah” inspires so many to be mekayem it so diligently.
Then you don’t understand human nature.
I have no doubt in my mind that if someone would piously recite tehillim for a choleh instead of drinking himself to oblivion , that ad meah v’esrim, hashem would not hold it against him.
That’s only because you think it’s not a mitzvah. If it’s a mitzvah, then hashem will hold it against you if you don’t do it, even if you are doing another mitzvah.
Its a foolish pursuit. And illegal for anyone under 21 (at least in NY/NJ) to be mekayaim. Its also illegal for anyone to give alcohol to someone who is under 21.
In communist Russia, it was illegal to be mekayayaim the mitzvah of Bris Milah.
Our shuls Rav makes that perfectly clear right after maariv purim night.
There is no mitzvah to get drunk at night.
I am a mandatory reporter and I have, and will continue in the future to report distribution of alcohol to those under 21. Even on purim.
Do you know what the din of a moser is?
Lest anyone think that I am advocating young bochurim getting dangerously drunk, I am not. I am merely pointing out the weakness of these arguments.
On the bottom left of your screen, does it say “start” or is there just the Windows logo?
Miztvos bein adam l’Makom are ONLY bein adam l’Makom.
Kol Yisroel Areivim Zeh Lozeh. If I am m’challel Shabbos, it negatively affects all Jews; we are part of one entity.
I would say that bein adam l’chaveiro is also bein adam l’makom and bein adam l’makom is also bein adam l’chaveiro. The difference is in a direct sense. The reason we can do teshuva on bein adam l’makom without askind mechila first from every Jew, I suppose, is because to the extent that the teshuva is effective, it removes the harm done to everyone else. It would also otherwise be impossible to do teshuvah on bein adam l’makom.
I doubt Charlie Hall would go to Minnesota during the YU seforim sale.
🙂
I heard they ship.
i may have been born at night…but not last night, of course i rebooted!??!duhhh
Oh, I thought you were an accountant. 🙂
Did you try Aries’ advice? If you need help with it, which OS do you have?
but its ok to take from ur parents for ur own enjoyment but not to pay someone wat they deserve?
Maybe the parents paid for dinner but not the babysitter?
Daas Yochid, if they are “shy” ask them what they normally get paid and they will answer you.
The response is sometimes “I don’t know, whatever”.