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i daven in a shul in yerushalayim where there are many children watching the leining, davening, answering amen yehai shemey rabba…one of those children is my five year old bayis brother (i’m a bas bayis at his family). there are also girls who come to shul – there are three sisters who sit in the row next to me between the ages of like seven and ten. they sit (or stand) quietly and daven.
there’s something these parents are doing right and i’m not sure what it is. these children are not only quiet during shul, they participate in the services!
(i’ve been with the shul for a pretty long time by now and the ONLY time i’ve been disturbed by a child was when a mother brought a three year old (for heaven’s sake!) with her to r”H mussaf and the kid was jumping off the seat and making the floor shake. but he wasn’t even talking or screaming or anything!)
my own idea is when the children see the father or mother excited and happy to go to shul and are told before what the rules are (like mamashtakeh said), and see how the parents act and how they consider shul, they’re much more likely to act like the children in my shul.
IBS ouch, refuah shelaima.
yes, i now know what that stands for thanks to bp totty’s comment. just had to go and check for myself of course…
fish head. but the funny thing is, we really do sephardi simanim; fish head is for my askenazi father. this will be the first year i’m ever having ashkenazi simanim, probably a record for an ashkenazi.
one year, we didn’t have money to buy a fish head, so we drew a cute picture of one and put it on a popsicle stick.
my sister tells me that that year my father used my brother’s head instead of the fish head. i don’t remember that though. it’s the type.
bedbug bites are always in a cluster or a line; you don’t get them one at a time. they are itchy as heck, so u dont’s have to check – if u have them. (the first two slant-rhymed by mistake so i thought i’d have fun rhyming the other two.)
take it from an experienced camp nurse’s aid.
my previous post was not supposed to end in a question mark. it was a categorical statement that i allowed to dangle off with an elipses so people could comment on it and so that i wouldn’t sound so harsh.
just so you know.
i was just talking with a rav who told me in great surprise that he heard from respected rabbanim in america that sheitels are actaully better because they’re less likely to slip and reveal hair.
that is NOT the psak in e”y. in e”y there are very srict guidelines about sheitels, and i don’t think anyone here, no matter how diehard sheitel supporters they are, would argue that they’re better.
nonetheless, sheitels are a perfectly kosher way to cover a woman’s hair provided that the guidelines are held to, for example, that it’s not too long or perfectly natural, etc.
there’s another guideline that i’m going to mention even though i know i’m opening a pandora’s box – in e”y one of the types of sheitels that most poskim say are improper are ponytail sheitels…?
two silver candlesticks, i don’t know who the composer is but it’s a stunning song!
it’s called gold medal ribbon btw – i remembered while i was describing it to someone.
in case ur interested…
zchor davar leavdecha, traditional tune
memories by abie rottenberg
neshamale by abie rottenberg
who am i by abie rottenberg
hiney yamim ba’im by abie rottenberg
b’rosh hashana by abie rottenberg
belev echad by aryeh kuntsler
ivdu es Hashem by shelsheles junior
little kite by abie rottenberg
aleh katan by avraham fried
i’m a music freak. i listen to it, play it, write it, breathe it! these are by far not the only ones, i’m blanking out a little. meanwhile, these are some of my top ones.
i’m in the business and i can tell you that buying a good sheitel for everyday and a less good one for shabbos is a much better investment than the other way around. because you use an everyday wig much more, it’s much more likely to get worn out faster than the shabbos one.
that having been said, i can’t help you for america, but if anyone’s reading this is in israel,there’s an annual sheitel sale benefitting hachnosas kallah (i don’t know which fund) that sells custom sheitels, very nice natural but not custom ones, and also gmach sheitels for dirt cheap (obviously this term is relative to the wig – the gmach sheitels are between 100 and 400 shekel depending on condition, the nice human hair ones are between 100 and 400 dollars, and the custom ones are 400 and up, but under 1000 i think – these are approximations; i’m remembering from last year). the next one should be”H be in cheshvan 5771.
deliberately_esoteric:
you are missing one of the main points of tznius – that a bas yisroel must look as refined as ppossible. tznius is not all about NOT looking a cetain way; it’s a large part about YES looking a certain way – refined and respectable. and i’m last i checked, basketball players are anything but respectable and refined, abd along with them, any similar style of dress.
used to see this one every day on the way to and from the library after school – ARTPRJX
i know a teacher whose first name starts with a d – he wants to get DMENTOR
a relative of mine has this 4SXX730 – it’s a regular one, but to remember it, she saysit’s for double simcha at 7:30. 🙂
well since so many peole missed my birthday, and now this, i’m beginning to think that maybe the post has a grudge against me – uh oh.
I DIDN’T GET A TEE SHIRT!!!!!
but maybe that’s okay, cuz i won’t wear cap sleeves…
i wish i had a digital camera!! as it is, all my goood pictures are with my friend in her digital camera so i’ll have to check if she still has them (haven’t taken a decent one with a decent camera in about 3 years), but if she does, up goes a picassa account!
i LOVE photography as a hobby, but never learned.
i probably insulted some here in the coffee room when strongly voicing my opinions.
i ask anyone i did insult or hurt or slight in any way, for mechila.
be”H in the zchus of this forum, we should have a ????? ?????? ???? ??? ? ??? ???????? ???!
charliehall – just a funny question – HOW do you know he was one of the only two people to have predicted the shoah as early as 1938? i believe that many gedolim, the chofetz chaim included, knew what was going to happen much earlier than that.
correct me if i’m wrong.
very good friends of mine just gave birth to a daughter after NEARLY TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!
it’s very painful for an older sibling to watch a younger one get married before them. so it’s really impossible for anyone else to judge whether or not it’s right. in addition, i think this is one of those things that goes according to the family’s custom, so again, no one can judge.
that having been said, i think it’s not such a good thing. i would allow my younger siblings to go before if it came to that, c”v. it’s a chaval for all the other siblings to be held up just cuz the first one hasn’t found his/her bashert yet!
i actually have a teacher who got married at thirty. before she even met her husband, she MADE her little sister’s shidduch!! now that’s an extreme, but i thought it was a good story. 🙂
i would really like to commit, but i’m a little nervous i’ll forget, so i’ll say, BLI NEDER i’ll dedicate the shirei hamaalot that i say every day anyway to practice my Hebrew reading, to refuah shelaima for your grandmother. refuah shelaima!!!
well it certainly piqued my interst…but honestly, can anyone have thought that it would realy contain L”H?? no one who’s about to say lashon hara would announce it, unless we’re talking about that character in “We want life” i forgot his name….
strawberry. pralines and cream. i forgot what it’s called but it’s vanilla and chocolate with “carmel ribbon” – baskin robbins (been c”y for about 5/6 years so i’ve forgotten what the special flvaors are called. pumkin pie. watermelon sorbet with those little black candy seeds yum!! pretty much in that order but i miss baskin robbins!!!!!!!!!
btw, i decided against going but for no other reason than libi bamizrach v’ani lo rotzah lehiyot betoch maarav!!
i live with a family in e”y. the parents are very very thought out about chinuch – i mean if i told you some of what i’d notice you’d think they’re crazy or malachim, one or the other.
anyway, their youngest will be two next month. a few weeks ago, she was holding a small gamepiece that was small enough for her to swallow. so the mother said to her, ‘geb mir bitte.’ (please give it to me.) nothing. a couple more tries from the mother. nothing. father comes over. ‘esti, geb es tzu mamme yetzt!’ (give it to mommy now!) nothing. he took the thing out of her hand. then he took two of his finger and lightly tapped her cheek while saying ‘kibbud av va’em’ or derech eretz’ something like that i don’t remember. he let her cry for a minute and then took her onto his lap and gave her a ‘tzukerl’ a little candy.
i once saw him also potching hard his nine year old son. he let him cry for ten minutes (he’s older and more mature than the two year old; greater infraction, harsher consequence), and then was back to normal with him, loving as always.
i’ve been with this family for almost a year. those are the only two incidents that i saw.
their children are really special. i can tell you tens of stories that prove that their chinuch approach really works. but it’s not the potching that does it – it’s the extreme love that they show before and after the potching, that shows that they’re only doing for the child’s own good, but really, not just saying it like some parents.
you can only potch if done the right way. otherwise, it’s totally counterproductive – i come from a house like that and believe me, half of us kids were really adversely affected and are spiralling down pretty fast.
hatzlacha rabba!
or you could just tell them what your name means in english – try introducing yourself as ‘tired princess’ or ‘the father of a people, son of my right hand’ or the more conventional ‘song’ ‘spring’ or ‘compassionate (that one can go for both genders…)’
just kidding. 😉
seriously though, i don’t think it would kill anyone to say something that they’re not familiar with. i think many of us are just uncomfortable with our names in a secular setting — hello!!!!! you’re jewish, BE PROUD OF IT!!!!!
my own personal opinion on the subject.
i would re-do my whole relationship with my parents and add a whole lot more sensitivity and understanding for their limitations.
it’s really hard to re-vamp relationships, you know??
i think mrs. silverstein in the israel list doesn’t want to be on lists. that’s what she told me anyway, that she only takes people who were directly referred by someone that she knows. she’s great by the way; it’s worth it if you live here to find someone who knows her, just to have the experience of meeting a nice shadchante. (can you tell i don’t like shadchanim very much, no offense to any particular ones…)
rabbi bursztyn in the best!!!!!! i just had to say that.
rabbi lewenstein is also very nice.
thanks mod!!!! good one…
i have exactly the same issue in this matter as giyores al pi halacha. gaph – you go girl!!! through your efforts you have avoided much emotional suffering in the future.
i myself had to undergo a giyura lechumra because my mother’s geirus wasn’t recognized in e”y and it was cause for much distress all around. this is especially painful when it happens in a frum family, as is mine.
you go!
did u have the right kavanna when you were eating them??? cuz if you didn’t, there was absolutely no point in fluffy kneidlach (i almost called them yarmulkes, don’t ask why…after – effects of the fast maybe)!
amen!!!
because those little faces in your email server are the perfect tavlin for someone like me who finds it very hard to express her emotions…and 613 for my lifeblood!!
btw, mod – isn’t it time for me to get a subtitle???? 😉
non-harry = my own invention because i couldn’t think of an existing term.
i’m not really comparing. i’m making a point – that no one has a right to look down on the harrys just because of whatever makes them a harry, their names or what, if they are doing the exact right thing, and yeshivaleit who don’t do what they’re supposed to do – why should they be called yeshivaleit?? on the other hand, there are obviously plenty of amazing yeshivaleit who have yiras shamayim, etc, and those are not the ones i’m talking about. and there are harrys who do what the aforementioned ‘yeshivaleit’ do, but again, i’m not talking about them.
just don’t look down on any group just because they’re different than you. that’s all.
the answer of course is that the one who does it right is ‘better’ whatever that means, regardless of if he’s a harry or not, but i belong to what you would call a harry shul (and i am not one btw, i’m brisk…don’t ask about the shul affiliation, too complicated to explain), and all those harrys attend the 5:30 mesillas yesharim shiur and daven after, while my amazing yeshivishe brother doesn’t wake up on time for davening and then pokes fun at the harrys. that’s really really not right, and i’ve seen it on many more people than just my brother; that was just one example.
i always thought i was having trouble keeping up in all those parts (those that apply to me) mentioned by ICOT because i’m a woman. go figure.
why is a ‘harry’ who wakes up at 5:30 to daven and attend a shiur before going to work worse than a non-harry (don’t know what they call those – greasy??) who can be seen trying to find the latest minyan possible and then use that as an excuse why he’s late for kollel????
i’m not at all generalizing; i’m asking about specifics, cuz i know s/o who looks very very down on harrys and then often misses minyan cuz he’s ‘too tired!’
this makes me mad.
ok i’m over venting now that i’ve probably opened a pandora’s box.
wow aries, that was really powerful. thanks!
what’s charda”l – i never heard that term before.
sms007 – thank you soo soo soo much for your post!! it’s really a breath of fresh air!!!
i have the same thing – don’t ask me how i pay rent cuz i really don’t know, but it happens somehow, every month!
let me take myfriend’s comment a bit further. the REAL baalos tznius NEVER look down on a person on a lower madreiga, because the only way you can be called a real baalas tznius is if you’re tnius in all your actions, and gaava is the antithesis of tznius. and that’s where ‘looking down your nose’ at someone comes from – gaava.
ramateshkolian – learnoing inside in seminary is of paramount importance as it gives us a tiny, tiny taste of what ameilus ba’torah is. that way, when we have three kids hanging off our skirts and another two screaming away, and our husbands walk in looking exhausted and wanting to eat, we don’t scream at them – WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, WHY CAN’T YOU HELP ME OUT A BIT????? I’VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS ALL DAY AND YOU’VE BEEN SITING WITH YOUR FEET UP – CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND EXHAUSTION?????
actually, when i was in seminary, there was a Malbi”m that i spent fifteen minutes on trying to understand it, and when i finally did, i commented to my friend how much i admire guys for sitting and learning all day when gemara is incomprably harder than a Malbi”m!!! that was a big ‘lightbulb moment’ for me with regards to appreciating learning Torah.
i talk very little on the phone, and i use around 350 – 400 min average. there are some really good plans out there; you just have to be careful of the fine print. zappo is good, cellcom has some good ones, israelphone is pretty good, talknsave is also. orange is [rettyy good for a family plan, but i don’t know about it otherwise. hatzlacha rabba!
that sounds wrong
there were two amazing families (both with more than 8 kids!!!) in the city where i was born who took me and my three siblings in for weeks/months at a time when my parents were in hospital/unable to care for us. and then there was the family that took me in, free boarding, when i was in 11th grade…and the family that took me in, free boarding and love, after i finished seminary…
LOL!!! i know you made it up; thanks for the compliment to my intelligence! 😉
just for everyone’s general knowledge – JERUSALEM IS NOT REBUILT!!! until moshiach comes today or tomorrow. but that fact is that it is not rebuilt, the people who run it (i’m not specifically talking about bibi n., but wacky leftist zionists as whole) are no better than obama…we’re still in a very harsh and real galus, and making aliyah does not change that!!!
that having been said, it is a real zechus to live here and anyone who does is fortunate!! but you have to weigh your options carefully.