emunah613

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  • in reply to: KOSHER-SWITCH #1075279

    emunah613
    Member

    so if you have an elderly parent being taken care of by a non Jewish carer, is it a good idea to install this kosher switch into the apartment? Does this absolve the parent of having to hint on Shabbos to turn off the lights or to open the lights, since it is all hooked up to Kosher Switch? What if the elderly parent needs to get up in the dark and the carer is still asleep on Shabbos? What if you are dealing with a seriously ill person who needs to be given meds, or adjustments on the machinery they are hooked up to? Can the person caring for the person use the Kosher Light Switch and feel good that they are not violating any of the hilchos Shabbos? We’ve been told that in any fear of danger to her life, we are allowed to open lights. Even without a kosher switch. But this upsets her immensely and I think that if this invention were improved, it would ease her discomfort immensely.

    in reply to: Things that turn normal people insane. #1074569

    emunah613
    Member

    going to Uman can make you crazy!

    in reply to: I'm going to Eretz Yisrael-looking for ideas, advice… #1111574

    emunah613
    Member

    Some great things you can do: daven at Rav Kamenetsky’s minyan in Bnei Brak, go to amuka, tzefat, meron, take a tour of tzaddikim up north. the grave of choni Hamagal is amazing! Tiveriya is stunning, and you can daven by Rabbi Meir Baal Haness and then go to the separate beach down the hill! Head towards Yerushalayim-endless things to see and do! After. go to the Dead Sea to relax! Take a hike at Nachal Ein Gedi, go to Ein Bokek, see the museum at Arad….

    in reply to: Making fun of people who are frummer than you #996567

    emunah613
    Member

    The biggest issue for me here is when people proclaim”We only eat ___________ mehadrin hechsher. They imply by default that there is something not quite kosher about the other mehadrin hechserim. Why isn’t that statement lashon hora?

    My son’s rebbe invited the class for a barbecue and announced beforehand which hechser he would use. It was not one that we ever used. I asked our Rav what to do and he said of course you let your son go to the barbecue and eat whatever his rebbe serves. All of these mehadrin hechsherim are reliable!

    However it still bothers me when someone says with an air of authority-We don’t use THAT hecsher!

    in reply to: Question About Punishment After Death #1001442

    emunah613
    Member

    Obviously there is no body in Gehinnom and everything is spiritual.We have no limbs in the next world, we are all neshomos. And quite honestly, we do not know of anyone who has ever gone there and come back to report what it is. Thus I have only the tools I have been given in this world to work with. I am a parent and I know how deeply I love my kids and that I would never hurt them. However in order to be mechanech them I have punished them. I am a mere human being. Therefore I believe that Hashem’s love for me is infinitely greater than anything that I can comprehend and that whatever is in store for me is due to Hashem’s great love for me. I try not to anger Hashem and to sincerely repent when I have done something wrong. . When I have a punishment from Hashem, I have emunah that it is exactly for my personal benefit. And if I have not done a teshuva gemura before my death, then wherever I am sent to to complete that is also for my benefit. I think we need to remember that Hashem loves us so much! Living a life of fear of gehinnom is not true Yiras HaShem. Yiras Hashem to me is fear of disappointing our Father, Our King that we failed to follow the Torah’s instructions.

    in reply to: Things that are ok to say in Hebrew but not in English #996162

    emunah613
    Member

    Israelis unfortunately say many English curse words without knowing their meaning. You might be very surprised by some of this, as I was, and when you explain what they said, they are in shock and normally stop using that word if -you are believed.

    in reply to: Why Do People Speak This Way? #1008432

    emunah613
    Member

    I hate lose and loose. I see this all the time in advertisements. To lose weight, not loose weight. I just lose it!

    in reply to: Real reason for the snow #996147

    emunah613
    Member

    This snowstorm was unusual because there was no electricity for four days including Shabbos! Many people had to stay indoors, with their families, without cellphones, electronic devices, hot water, or refrigerators and ovens. People layered up and huddled together. Many families really reconnected with each other and their neighbors as everyone had to rely on each other. My brother in law had a vacation for the first time in years! People slowed down, slept, many became rejuvenated and appreciative of the blessings in their lives. I hope no one has to suffer for such realizations to happen, but it is really important to just slow down the hectic pace of this century. I think the snowstorm was a gift because it allowed that to happen.

    in reply to: Question About Punishment After Death #1001439

    emunah613
    Member

    I have heard it said that the real gehinom is experiencing the pain that your actions caused another person. If you were a really bad person with an evil tongue that could be a very long time in gehinnom!

    in reply to: How to ask a rebellious teen to do something without getting resistance #997101

    emunah613
    Member

    Teens want to be in control and suggesting rather than demanding works. Also saying the word “I” helps. Instead of Please wear your coat, say “I think I am going to wear a coat today, it has become so chilly. The weather report says it will be freezing later on. ” Then leave it to them to decide what to do. Either they will follow suit, or they will be cold, and learn from the consequence. ALWAYS show caring and love, and straightforward talk. Teens hate sarcasm and get very upset by double meanings.

    in reply to: Teachers… #996060

    emunah613
    Member

    I am a teacher and I am really shocked that you feel this is so common. I really try to be very kind to my students and treat them as my “clients”. I do not feel superior to them, I do not yell, and I am very accomodating. Every year I ask mechila at the class party and encourage the students to write me a private letter if they have any bad feelings. My job is to teach my students so that they will love the subject and get them excited about learning. and to role model self respecting behavior. If that is not happening in other places, then the school is at fault for not making the teacher’s job description clear and enforcing it. In my school, the students are our priority and we all work as a team to help every student do as best as they can. Any teacher that makes a student feel like the first poster is not worthy of the title “teacher”.

    in reply to: All Children Who Leave Our Community Should Pain Us Equally #947406

    emunah613
    Member

    There is a way. Become an amazing example yourself of what a true Torah observant person is. When any one sees a baal middos, and a lamdan, with a friendly disposition, our OTD children will flock back quickly. When Jewish kids are finding the love and acceptance they crave among goyim or non religious the only one we can blame is …us…..When I was a kid I admired my teachers and the rabbanim I knew, and I wanted to be just like them, and as dedicated to Yiddishkeit as my parents. It was also enjoyable to be a frum person! We felt grateful for every Jew-no matter their level of frumkeit. When we harp on every silliness, style of hat, type of shirt, etc… no matter that our kids fly away. None of that is EMES. Let’s focus on teaching the emes, on working on ourselves, and on accepting a teen as is FOR NOW. Kids go through stages, but look at your neighborhood. Probably half the people in your shul were not religious in high school. Look at the teens from your yeshiva that were trouble-most of them are religious today….Why? Because of good Torah true Jews who impacted them in a positive way and made them understand that there is no greater life than one that is filled with serving Hashem.

    in reply to: Ritalin, Focalin, Concerta, Adderal #1154723

    emunah613
    Member

    Great sleep, proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle all go a long way, however, a really ADHD student can drive a class crazy if not medicated. As a teacher, I have a bouncy ball chair (an exercise ball with a stand) that a student who is ADHD can use if they forget their meds or the meds are wearing off. It helps for a short time, but not for the long hours a yeshiva student is expected to sit. I was very impressed last year with a parent that pulled her son out every day at 2:00 because of his severe ADHD. He went for cognitive behavioral therapy during that time in addition to taking meds so that he could be aware of his actions and how they impacted others. He used to terrorize the class, but this year he is a pleasure. It is all about giving your child that right kind of tools to cope with living in society and behaving with derech eretz. I am certain that this boy is going to grow up to be an incredibly learned person who is a baal middos because his parents are investing so much into his upbringing. I have been dealing with ADHD and ODD children for twenty five years in the classroom-thank Hashem for the meds!!!!

    in reply to: Everything is great, but I'm not sure if there is chemistry! #953707

    emunah613
    Member

    It is normal to be hesitant about who you are going to be with for the rest of your life based on meeting this person for a few times for such a relatively short period of time! It is a great compliment to you that he wants to commit-many girls have the opposite problem! This is a huge decision, and no one should be allowed to force you until you feel ready. What many rabbonim say is that it is a good idea to take a break-and then evaluate how you feel. Years ago, I was in your exact same position and we took a break. While I was alone I asked myself a simple question-could I see myself without him in my life? My being without him made me realize his qualities which led me to realize that he is THE ONE, and here we are married 29 years. Looking back, I realize that all of the nisyonos that we were challenged with, and all of the crazy circumstances thrown our way, I am truly grateful to Hashem that He sent me such a capable partner. So if this fellow is a capable strong and intelligent and frum young man GRAB this opportunity! (They are a dying breed).

    in reply to: Jews Resisting the Zionist Draft #940119

    emunah613
    Member

    My charedi son got his draft notice three times. The first two he ignored and the third one he went to. He davened the entire night before at the Kotel not to be drafted. When he walked in they asked him to talk about what he does every day and he told them that he goes to mikve, davens, and learns all day. They gave him an exemption on the spot. I think that if they see an erlich ben Torah, they do not want him in the army simply because it will undermine their control-and all armies function on controlling their soldiers. I do not feel that a person should be forced into the army. Ideally they should make the army voluntary and eliminate conscription-there are still plenty of people who want to be part of the IDF. Hopefully that will be the end result of all of this political stuff.

    in reply to: Buchorim Wearing Designer Clothing #971153

    emunah613
    Member

    I think that a man who truly feels wealthy or refined and has self respect does not need a little alligator or polo symbol to make him feel good about himself. Now if the bochur feels he has to make an impression with a designer label, that gives you an insight into his persona. Or it could be peer pressure to fit in to some perceived category of cool.

    edited

    in reply to: Going off the Derech #1183020

    emunah613
    Member

    To aries: As a fellow child of a holocaust survivor I can attest that the Kavod for your parents is so great that anyone who did not have that upbringing can not fathom it. Most kids of survivors were imbued with a desire to give their parents nachas after understanding what pain they suffered. The understanding was instinctive. Also the fellow love of a Jew is imbued deeply into our psyches. YOu can see that in today’s world, that pure love has become very rare, which may be one of the greatest underlying causes of the OTD phenomenon of today. When I was a child, the yeshivos accepted any Jewish kid who wanted to learn, and never looked at the parents or siblings or even their ability to pay tuition. A child wanted to learn Torah-no questions asked!

    To all of the parents who are suffering from an OTD child: No one who is not experiencing this can fully comprehend the extent of the pain and suffering that resides in the heart of a parent, usually so much worse for the mother. This pain and suffering comes from the depths of a the love in a soul for a fellow Jew, and Hashem does not ignore it! Keep on davening, saying Tehillim, and hold your head up high. These neshomos are only temporarily yours, and no matter what their current “outer costume”, deep down they want a connection to unconditional love, that from your postings, all can see that you are giving them exactly that. One can only come to a love for Hashem and Torah when they first experience love from a parent. ANYONE who hurts you further and fuels your pain will have to answer to Hashem and I do not envy them!

    in reply to: PONY SHEITEL #880109

    emunah613
    Member

    If you look awful in short hairstyles but you want to feel cooler, a pony sheitel is a real blessing. I don’t recall ever seeing a pony sheitel that does not look like the wearer is wearing a wig, so I think it is even more tzanua.

    in reply to: Best & Worst Grade School Memories #977578

    emunah613
    Member

    One memory I have is of my third grade teacher. She brought her beautiful handicapped daughter to school with her on day when we had school and her child didn’t. Our entire class learned all about her wheelchair and the other many devices that this girl had to use to function. It was a strong lesson for us.

    in reply to: Settling for Less #880308

    emunah613
    Member

    Is the nature of the problem middos oriented, or is this an issue of loss of feelings or attraction, or is this more of an issue of outer circumstances-such as she hasn’t mastered certain skills yet that can be learned (Such as cooking or laundry). “What did you think she was?”

    in reply to: Why Are Men More Intelligent Than Women? #1138414

    emunah613
    Member

    You are speaking here about academic intelligence, however there are many different kinds of ways to measure intelligence. For one, there is emotional intelligence, in which girls’ scores are far superior to boys’ scores.

    in reply to: The Motzei Shabbos Problem #851021

    emunah613
    Member

    The kids who want to hang out will always find a place to go-at least they are hanging out locally and eating kosher. There are many that are hanging out-far from kosher areas and are mingling with non Jews. Those are the ones that are in the greatest sakana.

    It would be nice if there were separate youth groups that had oneg Shabbos and melave malka activities. They could be held in a hall and be teamed up to help tzedaka organizations, handicapped, and even have guest speakers that know teens and can do workshops on all kinds of interesting topics.

    in reply to: PESACH HOTELS #851096

    emunah613
    Member

    I gave birth a week before Pesach and was too weak to cook. We went to a heimeishe hotel Pesach program-now infamous-where there was electricity problems and issues with the food-and the cooking staff all left. The women banded together, cooked and baked whatever they could, and we enjoyed a heimishe home cooked Pesach in a perfectly cleaned hotel. I got the rest and attention I needed, and my new born daughter was well taken care of by a relaxed Ema. Not everyone enjoyed, however, I fully recovered from the birth and went home refreshed and able to be a Mommy to the rest of the family.

    in reply to: NOT TZNIUS "BUBBIES" (also some fish, honey, and vinegar) #1200298

    emunah613
    Member

    Many of the residents of RBS come from more modern Orthodox or even non religious families. When their parents/grandparents visit, they dress according to their style back in chul. While some of these women in CHUL may be comfortable wearing pants or low cut blouses; in RBS, they wear skirts and longer sleeved shirts out of respect and are often seem with a cap covering most of their hair. Please keep in mind that they support their children’s way of life, often buying them beautiful apartments and helping to support their grandchildrens’ chareidi lifestyle. This, in spite of the fact that they do not completely understand this choice and think that the charedi lifestyle is “extreme”. In fact, I can count over twenty families I know personally that are in this situation and would never be able to lead their Torah lifestyle without the very generous support of these loving “bubbies”. Makes me kinda wish I had one!

    in reply to: Refusing someone who's collecting tzedakah #845199

    emunah613
    Member

    To those who think they are so righteous because they give a guy a small amount of money when an oni stretches out his hand: Take the tzedaka challenge!

    If you care so much about giving to your fellow Jew in need, as some of the postings claim, then when the next person stretches out his hand to you, you will take five minutes to listen to him and hear about what his needs are. Perhaps you can make a real difference by directing him to a tzedaka agency that can really help him, or figure out an eitza for his situation. Being a rachman means just that-showing that you care.

    I challenge those who so hotly debated this topic to try it this week and post what happened. I for one, would greatly like to see the writers of this forum take this challenge and tell us all what people were collecting for, where they were from, and what they did about it.

    in reply to: Refusing someone who's collecting tzedakah #845172

    emunah613
    Member

    Think about it another way. Say you gave a guy that looked and acted nebadik, and he goes out to buy a tool in which to hurt someone with your tzedaka money. You enabled a person to hurt by giving him money! Without it, he could not have done this horrible deed.

    Creativity in giving tzedaka, where the receiver retains their dignity is a higher level of tzedaka.

    You can give directly to a school or family through paying off a grocery bill for a poor family, tuition, paying a clothing store to enable a poor family to purchase clothing at a “discount”, etc…

    in reply to: Refusing someone who's collecting tzedakah #845170

    emunah613
    Member

    I believe that money is a tool, and one has to be careful who they give tools to. You would not hand a delicate instrument to an unskilled person. Likewise handing money to someone that you don’t know means that you are giving them the means to an end that you are unsure of. Even giving a small amount empowers and emboldens. If Hashem entrusted you with money, He obviously expects you to treat it very carefully and to investigate where your money is being used. With so many Jews unable to pay for basics these days, there are many legitimate ways to put your maaser money to use.

    One thing we do is pay tuition for a child to attend a BY school. Her mother pays a small amount and was told her child qualified for a scholarship. This mother is a divorced mother not receiving money from her ex. Every time my own children take a small job, they put their maaser into this tzedaka. All their small change and ours adds up every month! We all feel very happy to be giving to this cause. When others come asking for tzedaka, we honestly tell them that our money goes to one specific cause and because of that we are unable to help them at this time. Most tzedaka collectors respect that and no one has ever made me feel bad. I think that when others recognize that you are genuine, and that you would like to help, but that you are committed elsewhere, it gives koach.

    in reply to: Rav Elyashev Bans Nachal Chareidi #848356

    emunah613
    Member

    The real sign that a person truly believes in Hashem and is firm in his beliefs is if he is put into the world and remains a Torah true Jew.

    Furthermore, every real soldier knows that the enemies of Jews are the 70 million non Jews who openly proclaim their intention to wipe Israel and Jews off of the globe. Their entire service is dedicated to hatzolas nefoshos-which overides ALL other mitzvos. Does anyone really believe that if Israel had no army doing its job 24/7 that we could rely solely on our zechusim to have Eretz Yisroel? Hashem needs us to have hishtadlus to protect ourselves. The Charedim are benefiting greatly from the service the army provides, and all they do is vilify the army. ( There are a few charedim who go into the army as rabbis, and are mashgichim in kitchens, and provide counseling and lead tefilla.) I think that a great idea would be if a Charedi gadol would openly and publicly write a letter thanking the Israeli government/army for ensuring that the country is safe and for being so gracious as to allow their population to learn Torah. And make hakarot hatov an agenda. It will be mekarev the secular and maybe they will begin to want to learn something about their heritage.

    in reply to: Rav Elyashev Bans Nachal Chareidi #848355

    emunah613
    Member

    I have the utmost respect for the frum oilam that send their sons to the army! First of all they learn the meaning of time-a soldier is given no breaks-dressed and ready in seconds. They learn to be alert, focused, and to use every sense to survive. They get no time off for minyan, they need to wake up extra early. They experience 48 hour days, hikes so difficult with heavy packs, rescuing a fellow Jew, and mixing among all types of Jews, etc.. Any soldier can apply the skills he learned in the army to his Torah learning and we could produce gedolei Hador like we used to have-those who never wasted a minute, who learned with great hasmoda, who cared about their fellow Jew, etc…Incidentally, high commanders in the army are usually from the top Hesder yeshiva students and are very very frum. And in the army, there is great respect for frum people who follow the Torah honestly.

    According to the letter it seems that the intention of keeping Charedi people from the average society is the fear that they will be exposed to things and leave Torah and mitzvos. And so I ask you-if those from the top hesder yeshivas serve in the army and leave shomer Torah and mitzvos, why is the chinuch of the Charedi not providing enough chizuk to their own sons to withstand the tests of being part of the general population without compromising their own mitzva observance? Don’t all of the gedolim regularly meet with all kinds of Jews and are not fazed by their different derachim or no derech?

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840079

    emunah613
    Member

    BS is not a moshav. Every store, medical clinic, and street has ALL types of Jews-dressed accordingly. From secular to chassidic. There are actually quite a few Phillipinos (women caretakers dressed in jeans) walking around that same area. When these people bought their apartments they KNEW where they were living. They saw that there are THREE modern Orthodox communities that preexisted their buildings. They bought anyway. All of this is a territorial struggle for the goal of acquiring the municipal school building through intimidation. This type of strong arm tactic has previously worked in Meah Shearim and Bnei Brak and they are now hoping to use the same old methods in BS. Only this time they are dealing with olim from democratic countries who will fight to their last breath to not give up their homes they sacrificed so much for! If they really cared for tznius, they could try to be mekarev the women through their own wives and rebbetzins. If they really cared so much about tznius they could move into Nachal Umenucha/Kiryat HaCharedit-a completely insular community with the strictest tznius standards. It’s a land grab. Nothing to do with any Torah ideals. As their level of frustration grows, the methods get scarier. The demonstration is a stop gap measure to let them realize that everyone is on to them, including the Charedi MK’s who spoke out. Now the ball is in their court. Hopefully they will quietly skulk back under the rock they crawled out from.

    in reply to: So you're married…THEN WHAT?! #838845

    emunah613
    Member

    Read “I only Want To Get Married Once”. This is an easy book to read and Chana Levitan is the author.

    in reply to: Increase in OTD Children… are made to feel like second-class citizens, #839812

    emunah613
    Member

    There is little doubt that things are getting more chumradik. Last night we went out to eat in a restaurant that has two separate rooms and two separate kitchens divided by wall sized sliding windows. We were eating in the meat restaurant and some of the waiters came out to take a break. Meanwhile a waiter from the milk restaurant opened one of the windows to ask them a question. My husband joked that now some chalavi air has gotten into the meat restaurant. Most of the frum waiters laughed but one non frum guy’s face went white. He actually thought there might be something to it! In the next few years, when having separate milk and meat kitchens will be the accepted practice-just remember that we started it!

    in reply to: Self Esteem Books #851685

    emunah613
    Member

    Sheep-you probably should have someone read the book to you. It is a well written book.

    in reply to: Self Esteem Books #851684

    emunah613
    Member

    Read this book and you will understand what self esteem is really about. Your get to know who you are. Looking at who you are helps with learning about your strengths and weakness-thereby building self esteem.

    in reply to: Increase in OTD Children… are made to feel like second-class citizens, #839716

    emunah613
    Member

    I wholeheartedly disagree with you! I think that these women of the fifties and sixties were very frum, despite the fact that they did not have all of the chumros that we have today! Their Yiddishkeit was really sincere, and they did not have a concept of putting on an image. In fact, because so many things were less convenient they worked much harder at being frum. (There was much less kosher food, virtually no plethora of Jewish novels, music, magazines, tapes, shiurim, etc…) Halachically according to their poskim, they were the frum ones! There were no chumros like we know of today! And kids were not rejected from schools because of their family not following a CHUMRA-not a halacha. Because Yiddishkeit was sincere and honest and women had the immense desire to learn and to grow, their daughters wanted too, also! Today the mother and teacher is so concerned about her daughter’s appearance and outer clothing that there is a failure for some girls to feel that there is anything of substance in Yiddishkeit. Example: When I buy my daughters boots or a winter jacket we have to know- this year can there be a trim on the coat collar? A buckle on the boot? (last year boots had to have no decorations) What is the latest chumra? None of this is halacha. And the only reason we have to search so hard is because some rebetzin decided that this year this is in and this is out. And if my daughter comes to school with the wrong whatever she will be tossed out like yesterdays newspaper-despite the fact that she is a wonderful growing neshama! (BTW this year she can’t have a water bottle that she can drink straight out of-there must be a cup cap.) I feel badly that so much of my daughters’ lives are spent on their outer look instead of building and growing their inner souls.


    emunah613
    Member

    No one knows how long they have on this planet, as we have seen from all of the recent tragedies of this past year that happened to so many people.

    And in many cases, smokers do live for a very long time.

    Quality of life is what is changed for someone who smokes versus one who does not.

    in reply to: Increase in OTD Children… are made to feel like second-class citizens, #839711

    emunah613
    Member

    Let’s define covering your hair and dressing modestly from years ago versus today. Thirty years ago, a woman could consider herself a refined Torah observant woman if she wore a hat or scarf, and wig wearers were rare. Her elbows and knees showed in those pictures of the sixties which today would be considered unacceptable. Yet these women sent their children to be educated in bais yaakovs and their daughters were welcomed. Today, a woman who does not cover her hair, elbows and knees will not have her daughters accepted at a Bais Yaakov. Were those mothers of the past less frum? Less refined? Today a woman who wants her refined daughter to learn in a Bais Yaakov but wears a too long sheitel or hanging earrings, or even high heels will probably not have her daughter accepted. I know of a mother who was wearing a hoodie and was told that if she appeared in that on the street, her daughter would not be accepted the following year to a bais yaakov. There are so many rules today as to what is considered the proper clothing. Some BY’s only permit a certain type of denier (thickness) of nylon, some want the skirt to be exactly three inches below the knee and not more because then the skirt is too long. The point is that based on all of these criteria, a girl will or will not be accepted into a BY. This is not Torah. This is hypocritical. The girl may truly desire to become close to Hashem, to get educated in Torah, and she will be rejected because she wore hoops earrings instead of studs, a jewel neck long sleeved t shirt instead of a shirt with a collar? (It happens) More and more kids find these things ridiculous, and feel that this is not based on true halacha. And when they are rejected for their chitzonious it leaves a scar. And the rules just keep getting crazier by the year. And when a child feels unwelcomed by the frum community they leave. We should never be rejecting a Jewish child! Especially for such reasons. Every child needs to be accepted for who they are at the moment, and every educator needs to understand that people are works in progress. And that the values we teach and emphasize should be great middos, and not overly emphasize that a girl deserves rejection because she wore the wrong ______________. OTD kids are just sick of the whole thing-I know this from the many girls I have met that have spoken to me about why they left………

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840021

    emunah613
    Member

    I estimate an insignificant number, with very few joining them. They do not make a day to day difference in my life, and I do not feel that they are suddenly everywhere.

    in reply to: Nose Piecings? #1111783

    emunah613
    Member

    Then you’d be a “BULLY”.

    in reply to: Increase in OTD Children… are made to feel like second-class citizens, #839708

    emunah613
    Member

    I agree with her! When I went to a frum bais Yaakov years ago, many of my classmates mothers did not cover their hair fully or were not wearing perfectly modest clothing. Anyone who was interested in learning Torah was welcome. We felt every Jewish shomer Torah person was a treasure, since so many had perished. Today, we are too busy trying to outfrum the next door neighbor, the shul, the school, the neighborhood. Outer costume is NOT an indication of any real commitment to Torah. Yet stupidly we base acceptance on these false criteria. OTD kids are not stupid. They see through the hypocrisy and want nothing to do with it. If we spent as much time on our middos as we did on purchasing the black hat or the sheitel, we would see an immediate decrease in OTD.

    in reply to: Self Esteem Books #851680

    emunah613
    Member

    “I Only Want to Get Married Once” an excellent book and very easy reading. Chana Levitan is the author and although the book is about dating, it is really about learning who you are and what you can do with what Hashem has given you.

    in reply to: The REAL Solution to the Crisis #841556

    emunah613
    Member

    Smoking what?

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840018

    emunah613
    Member

    I live in RBS and do not feel threatened by these thugs. I also do not think that their numbers are on the rise. I think that this is a wonderful and beautiful place to live and I amazed at how kind and considerate most people are. With any growing community anywhere there will always be the fringe elements that demand attention. That this fringe element is disguised in a charedi costume is misleading. Most chareidim here are examples of middos and refinement. Do not let this group influence all the constant good that happens daily here.

    in reply to: Nose Piecings? #1111781

    emunah613
    Member

    Parents of sons: If someone told you that she has a great girl for your son, but that the girl wears a nose ring, would you pursue the shidduch?


    emunah613
    Member

    Yes, you should tell if a boy smokes. Besides for all of the health problems, smoking is now a very expensive habit which is addictive. It is only fair that in a society where a woman is meant to go to work while her husband learns Torah, she should be agreeable to spending the money she earns on cigarettes. Many girls do not realize how much cigarettes cost and get “burned” by the cost, especially when they discover how much of their hard earned salaries “go up in smoke”. If a boy smokes a pack a day, in Israel that is 23 Nis a day or nearly 700 shekel a month. If the average woman is making around 5000-7000 a month, that is quite significant! In the USA it is around $8.00 a pack and that equals nearly $240.00! Generous Starting Salaries in today’s economy are, let’s say between $500 and $1000 per week. That is still significant strain on a budget. Without disclosure a couple is heading for some major shalom bayis issues……

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840014

    emunah613
    Member

    I would love for a major newspaper like Hamodia or Mishpacha to do some investigative reporting on this! They never will because these fanatics are capable of great damage in retaliation for exposure of their money trail. One day one publication will have the courage……….

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840013

    emunah613
    Member

    There are “anti Israel” religious groups in chul who give money to support the cause of incitement against the State. I wish that there would be a way for people to know who these groups are and what they do before they donate money. I saw a few brochures claiming to have the endorsements of very frum rabbanim, and who emphasize that they work to purify Klal Yisrael, etc……

    in reply to: 8 year old gets spit on by chassidim #840011

    emunah613
    Member

    The story is ongoing and very sad. I live here and can tell you that it is a small group of hooligans that attack little girls and sometimes women by spitting on them, hurling things at them and protesting their presence with name calling. The real issue is that Orot Banot, a school was allocated there years ago for the Nofei Aviv community/ Nofei Hashemesh and Sheinfeld residents. Nearby, apartments for various Chasidic groups were erected. Instead of living together harmoniously, these extremeists residents felt it was wrong for these Jews to have a building in “their” area. Truthfully the school is ideally located for the the three neighborhoods it is meant to serve. For a person from outside of Israel who is used to living near non Jews this issue is difficult to comprehend. In the eyes of these extremists, these Jews are not true yorei shomayim or shomrei Torah and mitzvos. Their methods are horrendous and illegal and they are beginning to be prosecuted. They have inflicted long lasting chillul Hashem and pain. Spitting on an eight year old girl dressed in a long sleeved t shirt and long skirt is criminal. They do it to intimidate these families and discourage them from settling in BS. They mostly hate the Anglos who are making aliya (see the video from Haaretz)) since this is who mainly live in the area. Their intimidation is not working, these anglos gave up too much to come to Israel and settle here, and they are not just going to get up and leave. Many chareidim are horrified by this behavior and have distanced themselves from these extremists.

    My question is-where do they get their support? Their apartments cost money, they don’t work, and they have large families to feed. Trace the funds and I am sure we will be shocked by who is behind this. Cut off the source of the funding, and see what happens……

    in reply to: Why are they making us into boys? #829831

    emunah613
    Member

    Learning Navi on a deeper level explains to us the inner workings of our own yetzer hara. The battles that the Neviim had to fight were to teach us how to fight off our personal battles. On a very surface level, here is an example; There are specific cycles that reoccur in Navi where the Klal behaves, then they begin to sin, then Hashem sends an enemy to attack, then Bnei Yisroel suffer, Hashem sends the Navi to help them fight, they succeed in battle. Cycle reoccurs. Each battles represents a stage in life and specific challenges that people face.

    Learning Navi is most appropriate for all Jewish people but I can understand that it can be boring if you are reading like history without synthesizing the

    information into your personal life. I can assure you that if you learn Navi with the deeper meanings-you will consider it your best class!

    ps There were many incidents that were not recorded in Navi because they were not relevant to guide us.

    in reply to: My $21000 sacrifice to get my daughter out of her misery #822107

    emunah613
    Member

    On motzei Shabbos of Sukkos this year I went to Yerushalayim for a ladies only evening. Before leaving Yerushlayim I went to Ben Yehuda Street for a coffee. The street was packed full of English speaking yeshiva and seminary kids from all streams. The more “frum” were just walking around and staring and the rest were mingling. There were quite a few OTD Anglo Israelis , too. Perhaps there are hangouts all over the place-but the scene that greeted me was the giant hang out of them all. Please think carefully before sending your child to Israel. He or she is going to learn a lot-perhaps a lot of things you are not considering…..

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