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It’s not so new it’s been back in style for more than 2 years now..
‘His answer did nothing but confuse me….’
Not to compare your rabbi to g-d but Bechrah is on such a personal level that a rabbi cannot advise…
The wrds are blk and white my friend:
CHOOSE! And may Hashem help you in whatever direction you choose to go in.
If you didnt understand what he meant then ask him… Maybe thats why the two of you had a misunderstanding. Never be afraid to say I didn’t understand what you meant. Please explain yourself Thats how u learn.. In my opinion The rav is simply saying in whatever case this is there’s no Halacha stating that you should or shouldn’t .. “If you want to” meaning…-bechirah choose what you want… With finding your zivug there is a certain amount of bechirah… Your hishtadlus is to find your zivug through bechirah.. Your choice will be what level you are on. There is no Halacha about what level of holiness you should be on.. We are in this world to grow and become the best we can be.
Dhl144- I SECOND THAT!! after that massive storm and everything pple lost, I’d say I agree with you one thousand percent!!!
GASHMIUS !!
So what are u gonna do?
There are books on this can anyone list afew good authors and titles on the topic I know some pple who will benefit from reading
Dhl144 you never updated us if u got engaged to the girl or not??
I’m going for Obama
Let’s see who’s horse can run the fastest .
Well you’re definitely both very similar.
Torah613613torah does the username dhl144 have any connection to u?
I know there have been many shidduch threads before. I am a guy in my twenties and have had enough of going out with girls who dont seem to be getting dates. I understand shaddchanim work really hard and some girls do get many dates however I have already went out with a few girls who seem to be in a lot of pain as if shaddchanim arent doing their best.
Elmo, you have a lot to learn about life!!! When you go out with a girl the focus is meant to be will you and her be a compatible match. Not how many more guys has she dated before you.. I’ve been a shadchan for five years now and i know youll be surprised bh this one but the amount of no’s I get from the girls side is far more than the guy’s there are a lot of quality good girls out there who have gone or are in college and have everything going for them but will not get dates because the guys that are religiously compatible are not nessarily as educated and worldly as the girls..
Seed is Kiruv
So maybe u should date her.. You both are interested in the same college maybe u share other interests too..
Dhl144 Do u think u know who sayag lechachma is?
Sabzi give credit where credit is due;) when in doubt google is always there;)
The gmara says to marry a bas Talmud Chacham. So who should the girls that have fathers that are not Jewish marry?? Good question..
dhl144, I Feel for u. Transferring of leaving yeshiva may not be the best solution because you are teaching your concious mind that whatever you can’t cope with in life you should just leave…
Which i think is partly an immaturity issue.. If you train yourself now that you need to deal with it and not just leave it will be beneficial god you in the long run… You will come to realize that you can cope and you can achieve. And that’s what you need to prove to yourself. You might want to change chavrusas to improve the situation but leaving is not going to solve anything. If you leave now You will only find yourself leaving the next place sooner rather than later..
I want to see dhl144’s profile. How do I view it?
Haha smoothly? For real?
Say “Grandma and Grandpa grew up in circumstances where they were not privileged to learn about the beauty in following Halacha. But there are many things that you can learn from grandma and grandpa. You can emphasize on her midot tovot hachnasa orchim or Wht ever good that she does. And you say that’s how her parents raised her to be.. In other words: saying the way we raise you is the way you are supposed to be…
Why do pple. Keep their tzitzis hanging out?
Why can’t they keep them neatly tucked away until they recite the Bracha on it?
It just looks so messy.
Tell it to your children.
Elmo your a guy. How do u know about machon raya?
Torontos tuition is sky rocketing there are pple that are sending to public schools because it’s too expensive
Could very well be someone legit. Its well written like all yhe other posts from that user.However someone like that would not keep coming back to this site.they would search everywhere else before coming here. I find it kinda absurd.I’ll give the benefit of the doubt but you mammele, honestly know It’s another mod character, just like yourself.
Here is my bdnefit of thd doubt; yes if someone like that would google a topic like this; ywn would come up in the search.
Good way to advertise ywn!
Goq, may you have much success in everything you do. May hashem give you the strength to rise up and above them in everyway. And may everyone realize your growth and potential,
and grant you respect.
May your father, your brothers and anyone else that have wronged you regret and have remorse for their actions toward you and grow to understand that any strength that a person has is granted by the aibishte and can be given or taken at any time.
Leshana Tova!
Poof, i don’t believe this op. Someone that is searching for their roots will not be posting on a yeshivishe website.
Id say if you are unqaulified, About 30$ an hour
If your qualified, the going rate for private tutoring is 55$ an hour.
WIY. I know who u are.
Zeena.kasta, change your username if u know what’s good for u.
And there’s others…
WIY, google it!!!
Uneeq I should hope that’s an outright lie
Queen Bee
not blocked
“Does she enjoy reading and ‘chilling’=Is she a bum.
Lol, OOM! I second that =D
POSTED 22 MINUTES AGO #
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with reading/chilling.
But if that’s one of the first things she answers when you ask what do u enjoy doing in your free time. MIGHT indicate that there is a motivation problem there.
She may not have many talents or like I said she may be lazy.
Does she do chessed?
How does she dress? Does she care if her hair is frizzy,
Is it pony tailed everyday or does she do Sth with it?
Does she have a sense of fashion? Does she help out at Shabbos tables when invited over as a guest? How does she stack the plate- don’t get mad at me for that)-lol;)
Since how she stacks the plates indicates a lot of things. Is she pleasant and calm to be with? What does she complain about? What does she enjoy doing? What are her hobbies?-indicates a lot about a person! Does she enjoy reading and ‘chilling’=Is she a bum. Or does she enjoy doing energizing things…
Does she drive! Does she have her own car or she relies on her parents.
How punctual is she? How does she spend her free time?
Nobody or anything touched the moon. They get there and float around but nobody touches the moon. There’s no gravity.
Find out What was she like as a camp counselor? Was she ever one at all? Has she ever organized an event? What was it like to work with her? Was she flustered? Never ask a girl is she organised? She will aotomatically respond in the afirmative. Ask how organised is she? The way you ask your questions will be the way you get your answers. The opposite applies when asking a guy is he a good learner? He will respond toward the negative more than the positive. This is because just like reverse physchology works with males. It works in the opp way with females. Find out How clean and organized was she in her seminary/college dorm?
How does she manage under pressure? Ask references to give you examples.
You might not find out if she knows HOW to cook and bake. That you can ask on the dates. However these questions will help indicate if she is capable of what you are looking for.
Um welcome back. What happened to u?
I know someone that did not desserve the great girl he was engaged to. She broke it off after realizing what he was really like… Now the guy is having a hard time with the idea that he would never be set up with someone as great as she…
Lesson to be learned from this: parents stop over estimating your kids. And stop being superficial. Be real/ you will only be fooling yourselves in the long run.
I was on my roof eating cake.
And if the girls teacher had told her to continue, that would have been the correct advice? All cheshbones are made in shomayim. Maybe the guy just didn’t internally deserve the girl he was engaged to.
Sometimes pple with status are hollow inside… That’s why superficiallity means so much to them.
Noone should discontinue a Shidduch just because it doesn’t feel right, I’m sure there was more to it that was going on upstairs… And that she didnt want to disclose.
Maybe the op means unofficially engaged meaning he was engaged to her without breaking a plate.
What makes you think your rebbe gave you correct advice?