?RebYidd23

I occasionally check the magazine online to see what was considered worthy of publication.

What do you people have against exercise?

It bothers me when a songwriter can’t write his own lyrics and has to plagiarize from ancient ones.

They can condone anything. It’s their job.

Most healthy babies are chubby.

What’s the point of looking younger?

I believe what the person was trying to say is that hypothetically if there were some kind of Divine punishment for doing the right thing in this case it would still be right to do the right thing. Or something like that.

Wait, did I read this wrong or is OP seriously condemning people for doing their best to protect their children from molesters?

Why does it matter what Rashi ate?

What came first, the chicken or the red junglefowl?

The only reason anyone still remembers the rhyme is because of the character in Through the Looking-Glass, in which he is an egg.

Shmuel awoke, heart racing. He had had the dream again. The nightmare. It was always the same. He found himself standing just outside Reuven’s room, listening to the sound of Reuven’s television making staticky noises. He needed to give Reuven a letter he had received in the mail, so he knocked. But Reuven wasn’t alone. A vaguely threatening shape stood over him. At first in his dream Shmuel assumed it was Colonel Mustard with the candlestick, but as he rushed to save his son, he saw the man’s face. And it was his own. Usually, he awoke right there, but this time he had dreamed a little longer. In his dream he had watched himself pulling out a stiletto that was wrapped in Rivky’s dress and stab Reuven.

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Back in his home, Oscar was trying to choose a personality, but his fatigue was making it difficult. He needed to base his character this time on someone assertive but calm, someone gracefully sly but also down-to-earth and human. For inspiration, he went to the gallery of faces he had worn in his former career as a body double and impersonator. Travis Grunfield, Gary, Paul, Zevulun, John Williams, Shmuel, Shoshana Beis. And then he had it. He as the new Menachem M. Grossman would assume a character similar to Gary, the sly, charming-yet-unlikeable, gracefully clumsy, tall-but-in-a-short-way policeman and track down the man he thought he had killed. Gary had been a disaster. He had nearly been exposed and had fled in shame. But this time, he swore by Baal Zevuv, this time would be his most successful yet. And when he was done, he would rule the world. Then he realized that world domination hadn’t been the objective in the first place and didn’t have to be now. And then he took a nap. But when he awoke, he took on a new form. A far more powerful and dangerous one.

Moderators don’t have views like other people do. They work unbiasedly.

Suddenly, another Reuven appeared next to Dolphin. But this Reuven was tougher, covered with scars. The real Reuven was shocked. “I thought they killed you!” he said in confusion. “They thought they killed me. But it was you. But it wasn’t you, you’re here. Wait, is it you?” He took a closer look. Yes, there it was. Embedded in this other man’s earlobes and above his eyebrows were tiny pieces of graphite, an accidental tattoo from an unfortunate childhood incident with some pencils, before they had Dolphin as a double.

“Yes, it is I!” proclaimed Reuven’s secret twin. “I thought they killed Dolphin!”

“I’m right here!” said Dolphin.

And that’s how they found out that Dolphin had had a secret brother that he had never known.