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  • in reply to: Seminary non returnable application fees!! #917753

    I am not from new york, but I feel like seminary tuition is similar to day school tuition in new york, and I have heard that it is very difficult to get scholarships for day school tuition in new york. I am not trying to dismiss the tuition as inexpensive for people in new york, but it is just a thought.

    in reply to: Parental Controls #917862

    it is sometimes harder to figure these things out when you don’t know the person…

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926087

    The Goq, that is a good point. I went to Israel for the first time at the end of 8th grade for my graduation trip (I went to a conservative Jewish elementary school, so we went to washington in seventh grade…) and I didn’t know that at all even though I was there for two weeks (although I was not really exposed to the frum community in Israel either, I vaguely recall going to Ben Yehuda and Malcha, but otherwise, I don’t remember the trip, and ironically, at that time I despised frum yidden and thought I was better than they were, so I never paid attention to the black hatters, or religious women… obviously that changed, but what is an eighth grader supposed to know?)

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926086

    That is a good point, however, Michlala is to academic for me. Also, you only get the equivalent to $3,000 towards tuition a year because that is what Israeli tuition is at universities, seminary costs significantly more than that, so if we were going based on that, I would not be able to pay full tuition from that fund alone. I mean, I don’t mind going to girl zone again in order to get the funding from oorah (yes, I went to girl zone, I was on discover u. I only went last summer). But I don’t want to go any crazier with the fundraising than that…

    In terms of committing to citizenship, I have been thinking about it for the past two years, so I have done plenty of research on the topic.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926083

    No problem!

    in reply to: Parental Controls #917859

    Or, you can do the following things that will allow your kids to feel like they have more privacy:

    1. Block Data

    2. Block texting

    3. Get a Kosher Phone

    4. Get a phone that is not able to have internet on it, but can have texting

    Also, I don’t think it is appropriate to refer to people who use the internet as sinners, especially because you are on the internet yourself.

    in reply to: Another dating question??? #920382

    I think that it is important to compromise a bit. Maybe, you will decide not to have a tv in your house, but you can also watch tv shows on the internet, and most computers can have dvds put into them, so that way, you can still get all the benefits of a television (although I am against watching tv myself, I don’t want a TV in my house, or secular literature outside of what my kids are stuck reading for school. The only barriers for me between where I am and where i want to be is internet usage, lack of background, and fact that I don’t like it when people tell me what to do). But as a baal teshuva, I can assure you that there are always ways to compromise with people without being so sheltered or feeling like your children do not know about the outside world.

    It seems like the girl you are going out with is really growth oriented, and she probably wants to marry someone who is also really growth oriented as well. I think that the bottom line is that as long as you are willing to grow hashkafically along with her, that you both will be happy. It was very hard for me to stop watching tv as well, and stop reading teen vogue, and other magazines like that, so I started limiting the tv shows I was watching one by one, and I realized that I felt so much better about myself and felt holier each time I eliminated a tv show.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926081

    Sherut Leumi is a way for people who are exempt from serving in the IDF to serve Israel. The biggest group of people who do Sherut Leumi are religious girls. Sherut Leumi assignments range from working with people who have special needs to working in schools to working with disadvantaged population to doing office work for organizations such as Nefesh B’Nefesh. People who do Sherut Leumi are placed in many parts of Israel. By doing sherut leumi, you get monthly stipend and the same benefits as soldiers do (discounts on cell phone plans, and other things). As someone who is making aliyah, I would get extra money for my stipend because I fall under the category of chayal boded, lone soldier, that also may allow for extra days off at the beginning to do errands and stuff like that. It is another way to serve Israel instead of being in the army.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926077

    I was responding to EY Mom when I mentioned Rabbi Meisels. He is the menahel of Peninim. I personally think if I were going to seminary next year, I would seriously consider that school. Due to the nature of the program I am currently in (which is not a typical seminary program either), if I were going to a seminary, I feel that it needs to be with people within a year of me age-wise, and also with a bit more support than programs for people who are older than me (I am in a program now with a ton of support… I am in a complicated situation now…).

    The reality is that I understand that a number of people are available to discuss tuition for anything, but I just don’t feel comfortable going up to people asking for a full scholarship for several months… Plus, there are a lot of fees involved in going to seminary… phone rental, medical expenses, I am the type of person who needs plans for a minimum of one year at a time (excluding summer). Although I often think that the life I am living is to good to be true, I just have my own personal doubts about this…

    in reply to: Seminary non returnable application fees!! #917749


    in reply to: Gemachs in Israel #917280

    Thanks a ton! I really appreciate it!

    The reason it kinda has to be in Jerusalem is because (this week and this upcoming sunday are just a random exception, because people in the states are on winter break and a lot of people I know are visiting E”Y and my friend’s seminary had a play I went to) I don’t typically get permission to go out on weeknights, and when I do, its usually late at night, (like tonight, I am going to town for an event at 7 pm) and I only have one free shabbos a month… so I would not have time to leave Jerusalem to go to a gemach. I feel like now is a bit late to call, but maybe next week I can call them.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926075

    because its a lot of money to ask for from one person. I understand that there are many seminaries for baalei teshuvas, however, I don’t feel that they are appropriate for someone my age (if I were 22-23 years old, that would be different).

    The idea of tuition being optional seems to good to be true.

    I can want a lot of things, but it is important to be in reality.

    Unless Rabbi Meisels knows I am calling, I do not be the one to initiate that… I get nervous about these things.

    Its very nerve-wracking to ask people for that kind of money, I have done that before, several times, but I – I just don’t see myself wanting to go through that, when I am 99% sure the answer will be no. Unless someone specifically has a connection to that kind of money… I am not wealthy, but now I just feel bad about the fact that i don’t have money…

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926074

    EY Mom: Amen (to your bracha)! I wish I could get to know you as well in person! I am in E”Y now in a seminary program (its a bit complicated to explain the program I am in, I am in two different programs at the same time, they are in the same building, I learn in one school part time, and I do camp like activities the other half of the time with the other program. It was not my first choice of combination of programs, but when I needed to switch seminaries, nobody else would take me in, I got rejected by 15 seminaries, not including Peninim- (see other post). If money was taken out of the equation, I would totally do that, but at the moment, that is not exactly the case (seminary is very expensive and I am now in debt because I switched). Ideas are great, but I can’t just make the impossible happen. The difference between doing official sherut leumi and just volunteering and living by someone’s home is that if I do it officially, I can get paid, and get extra benefits, that just living with a family will not allow me to get.

    Also, I can’t just call Rabbi Meisels and ask to attend his seminary and for him to give me a full scholarship, that would not be appropriate…

    in reply to: scholarship question #918012


    NCSY (Regional, National, Torah Fund)

    Kupat Ha’ir

    The rest of them were limited to people who live in my community. I don’t live in New York.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926071

    Also, the original purpose of this post was to learn more information about two different Sherut Leumi organizations, Bat Ami and Agudah. I understand that there are various opinions about whether a woman should serve Israel, however when I read these posts, all I see are dreams that I have that are now getting my hopes up for something that I know will not happen, simply because I know my financial situation won’t allow it to happen at this time, unless the to good to be true miracle comes up, but I refuse to look for that miracle right now. I am in a seminary, and even though it isn’t my first choice, I am making the best of it, and like any program, there are pros and cons to everything.

    The reason I chose not to look into Peninim originally when I needed to switch, is because a friend I grew up with was also looking to switch there, and I didn’t want to fight with her, and I knew that she needed to be in a bais yaakov more than I needed to be. And I don’t regret making that decision, because we are both happy now, and that is all that matters to me now. Obviously, I wish things were different, but I know that I had a number of issues my senior year because I was not used to being in a bais yaakov environment, and as a result, for most of the year, I was leaning more towards, being modern orthodox, yet keeping all the halachos of Tznius, and therefore, I did not initially apply to Peninim. Things have changed a lot since then, and now I am in this other school, and I need to focus on making realistic plans for my future.

    Sherut Leumi is more realistic than another year in seminary.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926068

    I am from the midwest… also, my rabbi isn’t completely against me doing sherut leumi, neither are most people who know me well.

    My situation is a bit more complicated than people here seem to think it is. At the moment, I am in a seminary program within a larger seminary program, and I chose the smaller program because unlike the bigger program, it has more chareidi staff (the assistant director is lubavitch, and some of the teachers are a bit more yeshivish, but since this program is different in nature than the other program, that makes sense) I do take classes through the bigger program as well in order to get college credits while I am here because I want to take as many college courses as possible in English in order to make it easier on me when I go to a college in Israel, and have to take courses in Hebrew so that I can get the scholarship benefits from making aliyah.

    Again, I would love to go to seminary next year, but not everyone is capable of taking loans out. The reason that my senior year I had to go all over the place and eat, breathe, and sleep my fundraising campaign is because I am not able to take out loans because I don’t have a cosigner, and therefore could not participate in an Israel experience college (I applied to one, but I saw the fee to participate was a ton of money and I didn’t want to spend $1,500 to be in debt, when I could not even get a cosigner, plus I know I am going to a Jewish College regardless, so I don’t need to do that sort of program).

    I understand that there are a ton of amazing people like Rabbi Wallerstein, who could theoretically guide me, but I don’t really have these people’s numbers…

    At the end of the day, my mom says I should do sherut leumi because she knows that even though I did not grow up religious, that I feel that it is important to help other people, and for most of my life, I haven’t had so much time to devote to doing chessed, and as a result, I have had to either sign up for classes with required chessed hours, so that I had a reason to drive to a nursing home on a sunday to help with bingo and spend time with the residents (I am typically very busy), or I have been growing out my hair, and since I was ten, have donated my hair four times, and am growing it out again to donate a fifth time.

    Bottom line, if someone has money to finance this theoretical “shana bet”, I would be more than delighted to go. But I am not going to actively chase it as a dream.

    in reply to: Seminary non returnable application fees!! #917746

    It helps defray the cost of the menthol traveling to and from interviews. Also, when you apply to college, you also have to pay a non-refundable application fee and might not get accepted, the same goes for applying anywhere. It costs money to hire someone to process the paperwork and for people who fly in to interview the girls…

    in reply to: Trip to New York #917402

    For lakewood, Check to see if you can get a bus from laguardia to newark, there is a bus from newark to lakewood.

    in reply to: Israel Seminary Package #917074

    Gili’s Goodies! My mom sent me a package through them, and it was amazing! All my friends prefer Gili’s Goodies over anything else!

    in reply to: Touro college #919554

    For women, or for men?

    With so many locations, I am sure that each location is smaller than the size of yu/ stern…

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926064

    The only reason that I need so much money is because tuition is probably about $20,000 and I have some medical conditions [none that would prevent me from being successful in Israel, however I don’t want to go into details here because I don’t want to embarrass myself], also my mom is very against supporting people after high school and I am lucky she is supporting me this year, for the bit that she is, at all.

    I am interested, but I am tired of begging people for money (which I guess is what happens when you spend your entire senior year and a bit after that working so hard in order to raise $23,000 when your initial goal was $30,000). I don’t want to go out of my way to raise that kind of money again.

    As for doing sherut leumi next year instead of continuing my education next year in a seminary that is closer to my actual hashkafa (and could potentially be a culture shock for me again, because I am currently in a seminary that is so modern that girls will often wear mini skirts with pants underneath the- again- this wasn’t my first choice of seminary to switch to, and I find myself shocked on almost a daily basis. Which would not be as bad because I find it shocking when I am in classes and my teachers here are making references to woody allen and other actors, singers, and stuff of the like. Read original post in lieu of me making this post epically long).

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926063

    EY Mom:

    Believe me, I would love to do shana bet, however that would cause a ton of stress, and I am in debt because I had to switch seminaries for shana aleph… I don’t even know how much debt I am in because my rabbi and some other members of my community in the states are negotiating how much money I initially raised will transfer.

    However, if anyone is willing to donate $30,000 (doesn’t have to be from one person but from many people), I would love to have another year in seminary…

    in reply to: camp machanayim or michlelet? #916987

    Check List:



    Your NCSY region

    National NCSY

    NCSY Torah Fund

    Set up a website

    Get babysitting jobs

    Speak to your rabbi

    Ask other girls that went before

    Save money (like birthday money)

    That is all I can think of right now.

    in reply to: scholarship question #918010

    In addition to writing tons of essays (for me, writing is easier than having interviews), I went to a number of rabbis in my community, and I also set up a website, and constantly spoke about how I needed to raise so much money, and then people suggested that I go to a variety of places based on what I needed, I often would ask someone to list all the places that they thought of for getting scholarships from (I did this later on in the year) and that way, I made sure I covered all my bases (which towards the end of the year, I already got money from all the places most people seemed to mention), and then I would ask if they could think of any other places, and then I got some “last resort” suggestions, and then worked on those. Basically, fundraising that amount of money while still in high school is a pretty big undertaking, I would say that I lost a ton of sleep over it, and also felt like during that time, it was all I could think about (I am very driven when it comes to meeting goals like that, which helped a lot, but also stressed me a bit as well). I also davened a ton and made sure to check in with people every once in a while to make sure I was on the top of their list of people who needed money.

    Like the school I went to in 12th grade was a bais yaakov, so I could not use the internet at school, yet I had special permission to bring my laptop to school to take notes, and on days I got out earlier than everyone else (like a friday), I would occasionally go somewhere else (a Jewish organization) that would let me use their wifi, and I told them I wanted to use their wifi to search for seminary related information, and then they saw that I was serious, and helped me. Its all about strategic planning. An army will lose a war if they don’t have a strategy for the battlefield, so to, you can’t do this alone, and you need to rally up people to support you.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926060

    BYEnglish: Thanks a ton for your compliments! I really appreciate your support.

    To everyone else: I understand where your comments are coming from, I hear them all the time because my life is generally very complicated, and I usually have to make bigger decisions than most people need to to sort them out. Often times, people think (and have even said to me) that I take things very seriously and sometimes need to lighten up or go with the flow, but once they understand that I have to make very big decisions, they realize that I am usually very serious because I need to look at all aspects of each option in order to avoid situations like needing to switch schools, or feeling stuck somewhere. All of your opinions are valid, but unless you know more about the person’s life, and maybe know them in person, it is hard to give an opinion, which on one hand is annoying about coffee room, but on the other hand, allows people to feel they can speak more freely. Just keep in mind that when you post here, you are speaking to real people, and since you don’t know their identities all the time, it is especially important to be careful of what you post because people can take things in many different ways. Please keep that in mind when you post things.

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926059

    147, I initially thought that was true, but a few days ago, I was in a class, and my teacher kind of attacked the chareidi community, and I wanted to say something, but I didn’t because I was so shocked by it.

    General: I spoke to a bunch of people who are doing sherut leumi through bat ami, and they said that nobody is boxed into a particular service organization due to hashkafa. I then went to the Agudah website and saw that the girls in their pictures did not look 100% bais yaakov. One of my friends mentioned that I actually have an acquaintance who is doing sherut leumi through aguda, but is more modern in hashkafa.

    Interjection: I am 19 years old. I will turn 20 in October. I went to a public school for kindergarten, so the state deadline was September first, verses the frum, Jewish schools in my city have a December 30th deadline, so my high school class ranged from people (at graduation) being 17 years old, to people being 19 years old (I think she was held back a grade because of switching schools at some point…).

    Also, in terms of seminaries being right for me, when I needed to switch, that is why I called up about 15 seminaries, but most of them rejected me because I was not a good enough fit for them (meaning I was either not bais yaakov enough for them because I was not secure in my bais yaakov hashkafos and I need to use a laptop for assistive technology because of a learning difference, or because I was not modern enough for them, and would have been the only girl there who does not wear denim, wears 50 denier tights, and not such bright colors most of the time and therefore they felt it would be difficult to make friends or for people to like me, although most of the seminaries I called up, I knew at least one girl there, and some of my friends pleaded on my behalf to schools and they said no anyway…).

    My group of friends also is a very big range, specifically because I have been all over the place and have attended many types of schools and programs. I don’t consider the fact that I want to minimize the culture shock that I will face by making a decision to be something that a closed minded person would do. For the past two years, I have been in many situations where I have gone to an event in the frum community, and someone will ask me what my name is, and I never met them before, or maybe I have met them several months before for a few seconds, and I will have no idea what her name is, and that person has already heard about me from someone else, and in order to prevent me from thinking they are creepy, they end up telling me how I am connected to them (usually something like, I am doing chessed for so and so, and they told me all about you, or, i go to school with _____ and they told me about you, how is (insert whatever new project or program or school I am in) going? Eventually I got used to that, but the point is that I experience enough shock as it is, and despite that, I still have the right to enjoy my life and participate in new experiences.

    General: I want to do sherut leumi because as someone who is planning on making aliyah, I feel that I should serve Israel at some capacity because the establishment of the State of Israel has done so much for me as a Jew and for us as Klal Yisrael. Even though many Jews disagree on many things, it is important for us to be there for each other. For me, I don’t typically have time to do chessed because I usually have an extremely busy schedule, so when I was younger, I would grow my hair out so that I could donate it (I have donated my hair four times, and am growing my hair out again to donate a fifth time), and in high school, I chose to enroll in classes that had mandatory community service hours, so that I would be able to do chessed as part of my school work, and give my mom a reason to drive me to whatever organization I was doing chessed for (my mom doesn’t typically have time to drive me places, and this was before I got my drivers license).

    I don’t think it is acceptable to attack anyone or any movement under any circumstance.

    in reply to: seminary scholarship #917512

    Its completely possible!

    in reply to: scholarship question #918005

    Littlemiss: The answer to your question will be different depending on what community you live in. For me, although it was really hard to write all the essays, I have a very unique background because I went to public school, did ncsy, became a baal teshuva, transferred to a local bais yaakov, and my family isn’t so wealthy. So depending on your background and where you live, it might not be possible to get a full scholarship. However, the key thing is to search online.

    If you know that you are going to a Jewish College after your year in seminary, then I do not recommend participating in an Israel experience program unless fafsa allows you to get grants instead of loans/ nothing. Otherwise, you could be spending $2,000 on a program for a transcript to be in debt.

    Also, most seminaries have some sort of scholarship or work study fund that can help a bit as well.

    Nanny: I was never a straight a student, and I even got a D in a class and a bunch of C on my transcript and although that meant I could not apply for the merit scholarship from my federation, people that ask you to send in a transcript usually also look at other factors such as essays, and possibly interviews- if applicable.

    There are also scholarships that I don’t know about for other communities because I live in the midwest, but there are probably funds available from places that have paper applications as well.

    in reply to: Recipes for the seriously poor #1030137


    Baked Potatoes with slices or chunks of cheese melted into them with butter as well.

    Wacky Mac with peas on the side.

    Cheese Sandwiches with sliced tomatoes on them (or on the side- nobody eats an entire tomato at once so these can easily be shared. You can use oil to grill fry the sandwiches, although that won’t be as healthy, you can get instructions for how to do that online.


    Peanut Butter and Jelly with baby carrots as a side dish.


    Rotisserie Chicken with peas as a side dish.

    *If you buy frozen vegetables, you can reheat them later when you plan on eating them.

    ** I am sure that there are some kosher protein bars you can purchase for around $1.00 to make sure you get more nutrients as well.

    in reply to: Furniture question #916668

    I agree, Ikea always has the best stuff, but at the same time, I feel like wooden bunk beds feel more homey and for the person who is sleeping on the top bunk, it is easier on their feet to climb up a wooden ladder than a metal one, the metal ladder kills the person’s feet because of the pressure. Wood has more give than metal. Target and Walmart probably have some as well.

    in reply to: camp machanayim or michlelet? #916985

    Michlelet is an ncsy summer program for girls that is a lot like seminary. There is 4-5 hours of learning a day in the form of speakers, chaburas with madrichot, and there are some teachers that work for other seminaries during the school year that teach some classes as well. There is a big mix of girls from all different backgrounds ranging from public school girls to bais yaakov girls, they are all very good girls. I went two summers ago and had an amazing time!

    Its based in Yeshivat Reshit, in Ramat Beit Shemesh, so the dorms are really nice and you don’t have to worry about staying in hotels every night and packing everything up every morning. Although we do plenty of traveling as well. I think that if you haven’t been to Israel before on a touring trip that if possible, you should do one first, or you can even extend your stay by either flying in early and spending a few days touring and staying by family or friends and then joining the program when it starts or you can stay after a bit longer so that you can do more touring as well because although they go to the really important tourist areas, they don’t go to all of the ones that a more touring type program would go to (I went on a two week touring trip at the end of eighth grade, so I was fine with doing less touring and more learning).

    The staff are really nice and I had amazing madrichot and I still keep in touch with a few girls that I was there with. Although I only knew two people before the summer started, I was able to make a ton of friends and I found that it was a great oasis from being in public school all the time (I ended up transferring to a bais yaakov type school for 12th grade two weeks after the program ended, but since I didn’t know that until after I got home, I found that it was amazing to be making friends for the first time in my high school career and feel like I was normal, which I never felt in public school).

    NCSY gives very generous need based scholarships for people who have been involved very involved in ncsy before they apply to the summer program they want to go on. I also found that the federation was very helpful with me as well. And (since I tend to have a lot of success raising money for Jewish experiences) I ended up raising with NCSY and the federation combined, more than I needed to pay for the price of the program in scholarship money.

    Like any high school israel experience, even though you have already paid the sticker price on the program, there are still other shopping expenses that would not be covered by scholarships that you need to take care of before going (I feel like, and keep in mind that I am not wealthy so I am just saying this for information and not for the sake of saying everyone can afford everything because I know that is not true at all) which if you stay home for the summer would end up needing to be taken care of anyway such as food, sunscreen, bathing suits, and other things that you would need to enjoy your summer at home, which if you stayed home would be absorbed into your family’s expenses, but at the same time cannot be neglected when deciding to participate in a summer program (i have had throughout my fundraising career to justify why I needed full scholarships if, by staying home, my mom would have to buy me food to eat and since I can’t just sit around and do nothing, money for entertaining activities, like going to a museum…).

    I don’t know anything about camp machanayim, but I would definitely recommend michlelet and you should definitely take all that information into account when deciding which program to do on.

    in reply to: scholarship question #918001

    There are so many organizations that give scholarship money for seminary. I raised $23,730 for seminary and even though I have had to switch seminaries, I have still found ways to get scholarships for the seminary I am at now. The key thing is to always ask your; school, rabbi, federation, and search online (there are so many online like the alissa flatlow one and others like that that you can’t find anywhere else but online).

    in reply to: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do #926052

    Moderator 95, thank you for putting my original post into paragraphs! I didn’t realize until after I posted it that I forgot to do that. Also, I can see myself doing both, but i would just need to make major lifestyle adjustments in order to blend in with the other girls who are doing the one I end up doing. Whether it means purchasing more religious denim skirts so that on days I am not working, I look like I fit in more, or putting my hair up every day like a bais yaakov girl so that I can also blend in a bit more, I would still have to adjust my lifestyle.

    The key is that obviously, I should not change my personality for the sake of fitting in, but also I have found that things that are considered inappropriate in the more chareidi community are totally normal to talk about amongst modern orthodox Jews, and sometimes, I forget that there isn’t a place (no matter what school I am in) that will be for girls exactly like me.

    If I go through Agudah, I might be overwhelmed with the chumras that girls in the apartment I will be living in while doing my service take on, but at the same time, I have found that since I am currently in a modern orthodox seminary, that the fact that people here don’t cover their legs, and that the female teachers here don’t always completely cover their hair (when I was looking for places to switch to, I did look at some bais yaakovs, but eventually it got to the point where I could only go so bais yaakov in my search without having to weigh on on the fact that it would have been a culture shock anyway, however I got rejected by all the bais yaakovs that I looked into because I guess they didn’t exactly think of me as a legitimate bais yaakov girl. I also got rejected by some modern orthodox seminaries because they either didn’t have room for me or I didn’t give off the impression of being modern orthodox either) has been a culture shock for me as well.

    I have been told by some of my friends who are doing sherut leumi through bat ami that the organization aren’t so boxed in for specific hashkafos, but at the same time, since I have to take into account that I will be living in an apartment with other girls who are doing sherut leumi in the same city that I end up doing it in and I am assuming that i would be living in an apartment with people who are doing it through whichever organization that I am deciding to do it with.

    I find that in my current seminary, I sometimes have trouble relating to other girls because I don’t watch tv or movies, pay attention to hollywood, or stuff like that and I have had to figure out how to bond with girls and find chavrusas where I won’t be pressured to know about those things.

    All of that also has to be taken into account as well.

    in reply to: social skills #912162

    I would have her see a social worker, and then take it from there. Ignore any stigmas that you have about the situation. Intervention is most successful when the parents are being supplemented by social workers, and attending social skill groups if applicable. Check your local Jewish and Child family services place/ Jewish Childrens center for culturally respected/ acceptable intervention services on a sliding scale.

    in reply to: Seminary Search #911818

    So, I did end up finding a seminary, Baruch Hashem. Bnos chana told me not to apply the day after they told me to apply… anyway, I ended up deciding to take a friend’s advice and do a mix of two programs, Darkaynu and Brovenders, the growth I have had in these programs has been very different than from a Bais Yaakov seminary’s type of growth, instead of hashkafic growth, I have been able to grow in other middos of compassion, patience, and tolerance. The issues with all the other seminaries that rejected me is that they wrongly labeled me as having special needs because although my learning differences are relatively mild, the fact that I need to use a laptop to compensate is very controversial in the frum community… anyway, the nice thing about Darkaynu/ Brovenders is that I get to take advantage of the academic classes at Brovenders, while not having to worry about taking tests as a form of assessment (there are not tests here!), yet, I still get to interact with a some more by type staff at Darkaynu, and I have time built into my schedule where I get to relax from the academics and intensity of my schedule by doing things such as swimming on monday nights with Darkaynu. By the way, I got a vibe from the director earlier this morning that she is looking for more chilled by girls who are a bit more mainstream- like me, who can benefit from the combination of Darkaynu and Brovenders!

    in reply to: Seminary Options takeoff #2 :) ? #906334

    the girls were bullying me, and the school did nothing about it. They told me I was fat, and they went to the eim bayit and told her I was eating ice cream all day, and she accused me of having an eating disorder, then they wondered why I was not able to show up to class, because I was to scared of people making comments. On top of that, I was there for two months and the school did not know me at all, and considering how few people were there, they could have gotten to know me. The social worker told my friend medical information about me that she was not authorized to tell. Its embarrassing to have to go to a social worker to get ear plugs, on top of that we were forced to fill out medical forms in class, and girls kept on staring at me because it was taking me a long time to fill mine out (I am sorry I have ADHD and some other issues), it was humiliating and accused me of lying on my initial medical form, in front of the whole school.

    in reply to: Shiduchim, what else? #947506

    Hockey_Fan, you were not forcing your opinion at all, you just wanted to help her.

    in reply to: Cholov Yisroel V.S. Cholov Stam #903497

    I mean illegal to import fruits, from Israel…

    in reply to: Seminary Search #911812

    Also, can anyone please tell me about bnos chana?

    in reply to: Shiduchim, what else? #947503

    ok, fine.

    in reply to: Becoming Chareidi #903700

    I am a baal teshuva. NCSY was really good for me because it provided things that I needed to become frum on a more holistic level than any other Jewish organization could in my community.

    in reply to: Getting kids to behave at Shabbos Meal #903464

    What a perfect solution!?!?! Drug them up, you could promise them a sip of bartenura at the next meal if they behave at the current meal.

    in reply to: Therapy in Yeshiva? #903443

    My high school let me see someone during school hours. There is no excuse to accommodate depending on the time of day. The student can daven shacharis at home and then have that time free the one morning a week…

    in reply to: Afikei Torah Seminary! :) #903429

    Afikei is closing down at the end of this year…

    in reply to: Seminary Options takeoff #2 :) ? #906330

    both… I have a lot of drama going on. I could embarrass Rabbi Segel and entire seminary right now and talk about the girls this year in relation to my anxiety disorder and how those factors prevented me from being able to attend class (for very legit reasons due to innapropriate stuff that went on, that was not my fault at all, but rather because of the other girls_ and then I was asked to leave, or I can just be quiet on this matter and say nothing more because I already said enough as it is.

    in reply to: Shiduchim, what else? #947495

    ok, i am not trying to promote aliyah here…

    in reply to: Cholov Yisroel V.S. Cholov Stam #903494

    I don’t drink treif milk… I also understand that there is a need for the OU-D hechsher. I heard a seminary girl tell me that her school told her not to eat from a certain hechsher because it is the equivalent to OU, I completely trust that the OU is kosher, because I grew up eating it my whole life in the states, but why would Israelis think their hechsherim are much better than the ou especially if they have to eat something when recruiting in the states for their seminaries, its not like they bring a suitcase full of three weeks worth of food. That would be kinda illegal.

    in reply to: Becoming Chareidi #903694

    There are many different ways of serving Hashem within a Torah network. Don’t try to box yourself in. Within the Chareidi/ Yeshivish community, there are many different customs. The Gedolim say not to use the internet, yet many yeshivish people do. Some people have filtered internet, and some people have no internet, and some people have nonfiltered internet. At the end of the day, Halacha is the same for all Jews, no matter what community you affiliate yourself with. The key thing is to not stress out. If I had to label myself, I could call myself the black hat- Bais Yaakov- NCSYer, because I consider myself all these things equally, other people look at me differently, and say “She is religious” or “She is a baal teshuva and therefore it makes sense for her to do ______________” I remember when I decided two weeks before 12th grade started to switch from my public school to one of the local bais yaakov that I thought to myself, I am not so sure I want to go in the black hat direction, yet I knew absolutely nothing about being a bais yaakov girl, and I am in Israel now, and I had a number of issues with seminary “A” and I had to leave that seminary, and I just keep on thinking to myself, wow, I actually want to go to a Bais Yaakov seminary, my year at that bais yaakov school in my community was amazing! and I have realized that I have taken on many blackhat nuances, yet, I am still the same me, I might wear slightly different clothes, but I still have a personality, and most of the same interests that I had before, I still fight with my mom over wantin designer clothes, but now I just go to a gemach and get them, and I don’t freak out anymore about the hashkafa, I just grow at my own pace, and I strongly suggest that you do that as well.

    in reply to: Seminary Options takeoff #2 :) ? #906327

    no comment… long story, I am not the one to speak to about this…

    in reply to: Mohel Training/Bris Milah Course #903270

    as if he would know, in the midwest rabbi Rovinsky from st. louis certified a rabbi from chicago to perform bris milah If you call the midwest ncsy office they can give you his number.

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