Forum Replies Created
Wow it’s ridiculous how so many members of this forum seem to be looking for ways to put each other down! i.e. mosherose’s criticism of WolfishMusings. It’s really sad and I think that you should be careful before putting people down like that. It’s important to remember that the members of the CR are real people with real feelings. Isn’t being a mensch more important than hiddur mitzva (example from mosherose’s post —sorry mosherose I don’t mean to pick on you – it’s not just you… that post just caught my eye as an attempt to put someone down on a personal level)
I used to post here a bit and read the posts all the time… but it just made me sad to see the way people talk to each other.
heyy. the problem with posting a list of shadchanim is that it can be abused and they will be bombarded……. i do know some fantastic shadchanim from baltimore… maybe the mods can send u the list privately
I find that these types of threads keep coming up. People like to lament about the sorry state of our society today. Instead of just going in circles and being totally redundant, I think that people should try to brainstorm about ways to rise above these issues. For example: Okay shadchanim are totally judgmental about girls’ sizes but let’s try to raise our children in a way that allows them to not fall into that trap. Then we can have a constructive conversation about how to go about that. I don’t want to put anyone down or anything – I’m guilty of my fair share of complaining about this stuff, but I think that at a certain point it’s time to move past the complaining and on to bigger and better things. Like trying to find solutions (if not to the problem itself at least to our own mindsets).
lol jphone. I didn’t see the posts and I’m also pretty curious 😉
haifagirl – Wow. You sound like such a special person. Reading your post honestly inspired me. It’s amazing the way you are able to maintain such a clear and focused yet hopeful perspective. Keep up your coolness!
AZOI.IS – touche!
lol jphone you crack me up. I totally hear what you’re saying! 😉
youngbutnotstupid – hey i’m so sorry i didn’t get back to you sooner.
stepmania is totally free. it doesn’t come with songs – you have to download them individually or in packs from the website. you don’t need internet forever to use it. for example, in my house, i downloaded it onto a flashdrive and now use it on a computer that has absolutely no internet connection.
Any more questions?
lol i don’t know what you guys are talking about. there are NO dancing ladies on my game!!! there are innocuous backgrounds and arrows that light up! go to stepmania.com to download the program and then you have to download song packs. i bought my dance mats on ebay. This is a link to those type of dance mats: http://cgi.ebay.com/2-Dance-Dance-Revolution-DDR-Dance-Pads-for-PC_W0QQitemZ320392184599QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVideo_Games_Accessories?hash=item4a98dcc317
if you need more specific instructions for downloading stuff let me know.
on the stepmania website, the safe songs to download are the winner songs on the left panel. any other user downloads i can’t vouch for.
torahmom – i bought 2 dancemats on ebay for 15 dollars for both of them! i plug them into my computor and i downloaded a free program called stepmania (it’s like dance dance revolution). you can put tons of wordless songs – the type that are JUST dance music and don’t even have lyrics that go to them! i love it! it’s a great and fun way to exercise!!!
is there anyone here who has actually used accutane?
d a – good idea! just like michoel pruzansky sang “Chanala”‘s song You’re Watching Me.
i just want it for my ipod so that i can listen to it. i love it. how can i get a copy of it? do i have to call her? lol awkward especially if she’s like in a new stage of life. i can just imagine. “oh… yeah… i made that song up years ago. you want it?” lol or is it the type that people always call her and get it?
myshadow – but then again tons of girls our age are going for social work!
it’s funny because it’s a relatively common thing for frum girls to go into social work, but i feel like in the schooling, there’s so much exposure to everything we’ve been trying to shut out. but it’s necessary to know what’s going on even if you want to work in the frum community. or should i say ESPECIALLY if you want to work in the frum community… everything affects our community…
veryamusing- msw is a much more established degree. Only now is the MSW becoming more recognized as a good degree… mhc is very very new…
myshadow – i actually have a very strong feeling that i know who you are. lol that would be hilarious.
lol not sunrise sunset. this song is sung by a woman…
myshadow – lol we could be in the same class and become friends and not realize that we spoke here. maybe we already know each other. that cracks me up. anonymous forums are funny like that esp. in a relatively small community (only a few degrees of seperation)
myshadow – yeah that’s what i heard, too. Especially as a single girl where I can get married IY”H, it can be super hard to stick to a 5 year program! I wanted to do PsyD, but the more I look into social work, the more I like it. I think it’s a much broader degree than Psychology…
I’m applying now! Ah!
lol you guys sound like a bunch of old fogies! us young folk thrive on booming loud music… just don’t stand too close to the speakers!
chasid-of-Hashem – I went to the open house of Wurzweiler and I like it a lot. I think that there was a warm, caring atmosphere there. I was concerned that it is very expensive and may not have such high academic standards. From what I’ve seen, the more academic students are in the block program, not the concurrent program. I still have to do more research. Has your mother found the program to be challenging? Does she feel that it is preparing her for work as a social worker?
Maybe I heard your mother speak 😉
If I got a really good scholarship there, I would probably go…
If a a tree falls in a forest and hits a mime, does anyone care?
(classic gary larson – farside comic – my personal favorite comic strip)
myshadow – wow! thanks so much for the comprehensive list 😉 I’m wondering – why did you choose social work over psychology? (i’m having that struggle now)
use a cholent bag!!!!
Just-a-guy — the obvious conflicts include but are not limited to: working in an agency and having to give someone the option to have an abortion, or completely accept any sexual orientation as legitimate plus tons more like examples.
willi – I’ve been to several open houses. Anything specific you’re wondering?
tzippi – yeah that’s totally so important! thanks!
I’m wondering how frum people deal with the obvious conflicts between the social work code of ethics and Torah?
lol i’m assuming the conclusions drawn in this thread are not necessarily representative of the views of “the yeshiva world.” lol
So I’m 20 and single too. It’s sad that at 20 we feel this pressure that if we’re not engaged now, we’re never getting married.
Obviously, when thinking out this from a logical perspective, there is still hope for us to get married (lol). I mean we’re only 20 years old, for heaven’s sake! But at the same time, this shidduch crisis stuff is being shoved down our throats and we have to read about it in all the frum newspapers, magazines, and websites and (at least for me) spend some time commiserating with friends about fears of spinsterhood (chas v’shalom). (haha sorry about the run-on sentence to all you grammar noticers out there)
I mean personally, when it comes down to it, I realize that no matter how you look at it, 20 is NOT OLD and is in no way a time to start despairing (well no time is really a good time to start despairing ;-))
In terms of your mom’s slightly warped perspective, as others have mentioned, a lot of moms get kind of weird when it comes to shidduchim. Deep down they want what’s best for us, but their personal fears can get in the way of that real goal.
For example, I know a girl with a pretty crazy family situation where shidduchim were not being redt to her, period. She finally got a date with a guy who had serious issues. After the first date, she was totally not into it, but her mom kept encouraging her to go out with him more and she went out with him twice more even though she knew it wasn’t for her. That’s because to her mom, her daughter getting married would be a huge relief, a problem out of the way. Because her mother was so obsessed with the family situation and the urgency of getting her daughter married, she was blinded to the importance of looking out for her daughter’s best interests.
At the same time, though, you mentioned that you are going out with “outcasts.” Just because according to our scrutinizing society someone is considered an “outcast” – due to family circumstances, etc, doesn’t mean that he isn’t a great person. Take my friend for instance, she doesn’t get set up because of her family situation, but she’s a phenomenal person. It’s important to look past society’s views and try to see the person for who they are.
Anyways, other people have mentioned this but I’ll say it too. I think it’s so important to have a teacher/mentor to be able to speak to about all this stuff – someone who you can also discuss issues you’re having with your mom, etc. It’s important to have someone who is looking out for your best interests totally and is not so emotionally involved (like your mom). I have a teacher who I discuss dates with because she’s more objective than my mom is.
Good luck with everything and I hope that you find your bashert b’shaa tovah u’mutzlachas!
Dear Shidduch Solution,
I’m with Bemused on this one. I’ve been reading this thread as it has evolved and I haven’t commented.
I think that what you’re doing is fantastic and I think that it takes an amazing person to take such initiative for change.
You should be matzliach and have siyaata dishmaya in your work!
Does anyone know of music that is radio/nonjewish songs that are “turned jewish”? I think that this is a good tool for kiruv for certain individuals.
AWoman_outside_bklyn – sounds interesting. Wanna start?
oomis – About the Faye Kellerman types – it’s weird because there seems to be such real understanding of the frum world and at the same time it’s very inappropriate and at times has a lot of cursing— it there an in-between???
Does a good novel have to be offensive with inappropriate references? I’ve read some great kids books that are written amazingly and are totally appropriate. I guess when you’re writing from an adult perspective there has to be some romance… is that what you’re saying?
ronrsr – haha good one!!!
bein_hasdorim – lol
tzippi – good question. The truth is that personally, I’ll read any book if it’s written well – especially kids books. I guess I’ve been “ruined” by reading secular books because now I’m pretty critical about frum literature.
I’d LOVE to read a fabulous Jewish novel for adults but I have yet to find one that really satisfies me…
lol the guy who made it (wrote the songs) is like the frummest guy ever lol I know who it is
haha pretty scary thread to read considering that i, too just turned twenty this week!!!!!!!!!!! lol
mod-80 are you serious?? you really hear mashin stone??? haha but context clues!!!! lol i bet it’s hard for you to understand people with accents too- right?
In a citadel of ASHEN STONE!!!
attention mods: as a frum website, i’m shocked that such topics are permitted as it is such a stumbling block for a person to speak lashon hara. It is actually considered lashon hara to say anything negative about a product, book, album put out by a yid because it can be degrading/shaming and make a yid (in this case a singer) lose money!!! I’m not trying to criticize anyone I’m just saying that unless this entire thread is full of rave reviews of the albums in question, there’s gonna be some lashon hara!!!
Sorry- what is this? a gossip column? is there anything constructive about his thread??
maybe you should sit down with a notebook and systematically go through your different middos/aveiros and try to figure out what you need to do teshuva for…
rwndk1- i think it’s in incentive for people to ret a shidduch with an older girl and younger guy – not for the marriage part itself! BUT if more such shidduchim get ret it’s more likely that more couples like that will get married… It’s not like paying someone to marry an overweight person!
LOL it’s pretty funny because since I don’t call a boy by his name on dates I honestly forget their names sometimes… haha would be pretty bad if they turned around and said, “What’s my name?” It would be like “ummm” lol.
The truth is the only reason I don’t say their names is because my friend once told me that’s something you just don’t do… hmmm. mamashtaka- kol hakavod for not being a sheep and questioning the “rules” and the way people do things… but then again, I totally hear the points of the answers given… like the affection thing.
I guess it’s okay to say the boy’s name if it’s necessary but not to, like, insert in every other sentence. (“So Moshe, what’s your favorite color?” “Really, Moshe?” lol)
All the info you want about Rachel Factor’s camp can be found at bnoscamp.com
Hey. Check out Rachel Factor’s Israel drama/performing arts camp. My friend was a madricha there this summer and she said it’s fantastic!
haha i totally agree with you! all of the weddings i go to the bride wears makeup. 5o% or less? lol totally not!
i understand that a bride shouldn’t wear heavy, provocative, punk/gothic makeup, but some nice makeup to make her look pretty, don’t see the problem. it’s not like it’ll attract attention to her as she is already the center of attention…
if we really want to address a problem, it should be the problem of kallas wearing very tight gowns – i’ve seen people who are usually tznius wearing such fitted dresses on their wedding day…
thanks so much…
jphone— why would redding it to a girl first help??? then the boy will say “no” just as quickly… i’m trying to figure out what that would do…
wow. that’s fantastic! realistically, how could it be implemented and spread??
“Al tirah”- Waterbury CD— sad but inspiring story behind it. really the whole CD is very hisorirusdigge (you catch my drift…)
oomis— thank you thank you thank you for your support/comfort. Seriously. It’s greatly appreciated and I see that you don’t think I’m a complete dolt.
I mean CLEARLY now I see what I did wrong, coffee-room folk— it’s really not necessary to reiterate and point out all of the mistakes I made… but I understand that it’s easy to read my story and see what I did wrong.
For those of you who’ve offered me words of chizuk, a million thanks.
“One should never speak with single friends about their dating.”
jaymatt – how realistic is that? how are you supposed to shut your friends out of this part of your life. if you marry the first person you date, then i understand because it’s not so long. but if a person’s dating for a while, they shouldn’t talk to friends about dating???