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So Ultrayeshivish….are you saying we should cause a fellow Jew to lose parnasah, bc you don’t agree with him????
Best post I’ve read in a long time!!!
@Addf: Just wondering….are you a Rabbi?
Both the Flatbush and Marine Park eruvim are checked weekly. An announcement goes out before each Shabbos as to whether they are operational that Shabbos. For questions about the Flatbush eruv you can contact Rabbi Auman, and for questions about the Marine Park eruv, contact the rav of Merkaz Yisroel Marine Park Jewish Center.
If you do not choose to hold by these eruvim, that is your choice. However, you do not have the right to tell anyone else which Rav to hold by. If my Rav, to whom I turn to for all my sheilos, says the eruv is kosher, then that is how I hold. Its not YOUR decision to make for me. It’s between me, my Rav and Hashem.
So we recently made a bar mitzvah, with a nice party for much less. Not sure where you live, but there are some very nice halls in Flatbush and even Boro Park that charge 25-30 per person. If you use a caterer with their own hall, there is no rental or mashgiach fee. One photographer, who gives a CD of pictures is $500. One man band, who also plays games with kids $650. Shtick from Oriental Trading $250. If you must have centerpieces balloons at $10 a table. Total cost for a party we made last year for 190 people was $8,000. Still expensive, but nowhere near the $20,000 you quoted.
To Ultimateskier:
I don’t think I would want someone with an attitude like yours anywhere near my kids. Nor would I want anyone so judgmental in my home. Edited
Everything rebdoniel is saying is correct. What bothers me even more, are people who claim poverty, receive tremendous tuition breaks, then spend thousands of dollars on fancy vacations, cars, clothes etc. Who do you think picks up the slack for these tuition breaks? Hard working people who scarifice many luxuries and prioritize what they actually need. If everyone paid their share (instead of trying to trick the yeshivos by claiming zero income) perhaps the tutuition crisis wouldn’t be as bad.
Miritchka – you said it perfectly!!!
Shmoel – First, you don’t know how much I make in my office job – so don’t assume I make more than a Rebbe or Morah (and I certainly work longer hours). Second, they chose this profession – if they don’t like it leave or go teach in a more modern day school where salaries are higher and the pay is on time. If you are a teaher/rebbe beacuse of the days off you are in the wrong profession.
The entire school system needs to be revamped to reflect today’s realities, not modeled on the way it was in the shtetl 100 years ago.
Why is a 7th grade class reading Mr. Popper’s Penguins? That is a book for 3rd-4th grade. That concerns me more than the actual ban.
To Yummy- You are 100% correct. That’s what I meant when I said that a child who continues to have one or two accidents a day for a few weeks is not ready to be trained. When a child is ready (not when the mother is ready) it is a much easier and smoother process. And Flyer, a child will not wait unti 4 or 5 to trian themselves and they absolutely should not be having two accidents aday for a few weeks. That is not trained.
The key to toilet training is to do it when the child is ready. Does he understand what it means to have to go to the bathroom? Can he tell you he needs to go and then hold it in until you make it to a bathroom? If you wait until the child is ready, the entire process will be less painful for all, and there will hardly be any accidents. Any child who is having two accidents a day for a few weeks is not ready to be trained.
Popa – I don’t know what goes on in your house, but in my house we make decisions with our teenage sons together. Where to go after high school is not a decision that my sons made by themselves, though their thoughts and feelings were respected. And if I felt the school they wanted was wrong for them, I would not let them go.
BTW Gush is a Hesder yeshiva that attracts very intellectual boys, most of whom go on to Ivy League colleges afterwards.
This why people HATE us. Just look at what has been going on in frum neighborhoods lately. Remember we are still in golus, regardless of how much money we pay in taxes, or how much power we think we have in government. This is a huge chilul Hashem.
Go to Hat Box. They do Shatnez testing as well.
Anyone who is a bit or more overwieght will not eat in public for fear of people watching and saying “look what s/he is eating. No wonder they look like that.”
My boys school in Brooklyn is close to ten thousand a child including tuition and assorted fees
I was just wondering,where in the Torah does it say it’s asur to for a man and woman to be friends?
There are many openings for speech therapists in the geriatric homecare field. The pay is comparable to CPSE, and you have the same flexibility when setting up a schedule. Your primary population is elderly people recovering from strokes, but there are other types of cases as well. However, unlike many of the speech therapist who work in yeshivas today and spend only half of the apporoximately 30 minute session working with the child, you will actually have to work pretty hard with this population. Good luck in whatever field you decide to pursue.
I agree that everyone, regardless of their feelings for the medinah, must show their support for Israel and the Jewish people. The politicians, more than ever before, will be paying attention to the support shown Israel at this year’s parade. And don’t forget that Israel is the world’s largest finacial supporter of Torah learning in the world. Hope to see everyone there!!!
A “fast or easy” degree cannot be a “good” one. Would you want to go to an accountant who earned a fast and easy degree? Would you hire a lawyer who earned a degree that way? Lehavdil – would you ask a shayla from a rav who earned a quickie semicha? Work hard, earn your degree the right way, and you be matzliach in whatever you decide to do.
Yogi – If you were an educated educator (do you have a Masters or even a college degree?) you would realize that not all children act up or have problems due to poor parenting. ADHD/ADD, PDD, apraxia, processing issues etc. are not due to a poor upbringing, but can result in some challenging behavior. So before telling someone that you see the way their kids act, and that you know your own kids won’t do the same, please be aware that some behaviors/circumstances are out of a parent’s control. A child with major sensory issues might not be able to tolerate a bicycle helmet (not that it is an excuse for letting a child ride without a helmet). I would certainly not want you as my child’s teacher no matter how wonderful you might be, for fear that you would judge me and my family in a negative way. Maybe my child wears the same pants everyday because the others itch him. Yet you would say I don’t care what my son looks like. Do you even have an inkling of the negative vibes that you give off? How can you teach little kids with such a negative and judgmental attitude?
You sound as if you have a similar lifestyle to me. My son has gone to Dora Golding, so you might want to check out the girls camp Dina. It has a mix of children from all different types of backgrounds. Good luck.
Yogi – All you seem to do is complain about the children you teach. Yes you spend more time with the kids than their parents. I also spend more time at work than I do with my family. That is what it means to work and have a job. If you can’t handle the stress of the very difficult job, please consider leaving the classroom. You are complaining how difficult the children are behaving lately. Why? Is it beacuse you turned your classroom into a “projects factory” and are transfering the pressure you are feeling to the kids? Is it beacuse you are tired and don’t feel like teaching. If that is the case of course they will run wild. I am very grateful to my children’s teachers. But if they are angry and resentful of the job and all that goes with it then I don’t want them near my children.
Aries – You are 100% right. My friends and I are working very hard behind the scenes to change the mentality of excessive days off. AT the same time we also volunteer at fundraisers and all school functions to help and support our schools to the best of our abilities.
Imaofthree – You say “you get what you pay for”. Well guess what? I pay over $50,000 for my kids yeshivah education. And since I work, it costs even more in babysitting expenses when school is closed. My friends and I are fighting the excessive days off in schools. The more mothers have to work in order to pay excessive tuitions, the more schools are going to have to realize that thay can’t give days off whenever they want. Change is coming…. And you know what else? Since I pay so much in tuition I also can’t afford cleaning help. And if I tried to take off before Pesach to clean I would probably lose my job. Remember, I am taking off a week and a half starting next week.
How can people judge whether someone is a good parent? Do you know what goes on in their homes? Do you know where the parents are when the kids are left with a babysitter? Maybe the parents have to work or tend to a sick relative. How do you know ” a mother is NEVER home” and what business is it of yours anyway. Aren’t we supposed to judge others favorably?
In cases where you might have to give “constructive criticism” how do you say it? Is it in a condescending “holier than though” attitude? Or do you say it nicely. Do you ever offer to help a tired, overworked, underpaid mother? Or do you just sit back and criticize.
Anonymrs – I couldn’t agree more.
anonymrs – you hit the nail on the head. I never meant for this to become a diatribe against teachers, and I am the type of parent who spends all my time after work with my kids. My kids are my #1 prioroty and I appreciate the hard work their teachers put in. BH I can juggle working and a family. But I have to work to pay exorbitant tuition, and I hate leaving my kids with babysitters while many of their friends are going places with their parents. Not to mention the enormous expense it puts on my already tight budget. Yes schools should have half days on fast days and off erev yom tov. But the schools today need to understand our predicament as well. They cannot give off for no reason. Why are schools closed tom? If I lose my job due to excessive absences I will not be able to pay tuition. (BTW Yogibooboo just because I complained about schools being closed , does that make me a bad or neglectful parent? Why are u judging my midos? Why do u think I am never home with my kids? Your attitude seems rather rude, should my children really be learning their midos from you?
Freilechen Purim to all, especially the hard working teachers.
Yogibooboo -Guess what? I take work home with me too. I also scramble to find the time to cook, clean, shop and take care of my own family. Yet I do not have the luxury of being off from work erev erev yom tov or isru chag to take care of my needs. If taking care of other people’s children is too overwhelming, pehaps it is time to leave the classroom and find another profession. Hatzlacha.
To Happiest – School is certainly not free babysitting. I pay over $40,000 a year for the privilege. How much DO YOU pay? The only time schools should be closed is erev yom tov, yom tov, legal holidays if that is your hashkafa, and maybe a week for winter vacation. When I stop working two jobs just to pay tuition, then I will stop complaining about the way schools take advantage of parents.
yogibooboo- yes I received the calendar before school started and that’s how I was able to arrange for babysitting. You still have to pay for it whether you now about it a day in advance or a year in advance. And its hard to arrangle playdates for four kids when you would have to drop them off at 7:30am and pick up at 4:30. So please enlighten me as to how i could have arranged not to pay a baysitter for these days.
cshapiro – Guess what? In my family the grandparents work, as does everyone else. Imagine that!
When the yeshiva world gets itself off the dole (whether familial or tax payer funded) and actually has to go out into the real world to earn a living perhaps things will change.
There is absolutely no reason that schools should be closed Friday or Monday. Since my husband and I both work full time it is costing us over $100 in babysitting to cover those two days. Schools need to respect the working parents. After all we are the ones paying full tuition. Enough is enough regarding extra days off!!!
I know of several people who go to shul to help make a minyan at the announced time (since so many people arrive late, another topic altogether) even though they may have to leave early.
To squeak:
The fireplace does not belong to you-it belongs to the building, and you have no right to put a sukkah there, especially if it endangers other people in the event of a fire. Dina Malchusa dina – the laws of the land (in this case the fire department) must be followed, even if it means you might have to walk a few blocks to use your shul’s sukkah instead. And BTW although I vehemntly disagree with your viewpoint of a sukkah on a fireplace, I don’t see what that hasanything to do with oppostion to kapparos.
How about college courses so that they will be prepared to work for a living should the need arise. Or how about volunteering for a food pantry, soup kitchen or even driving for bikkur cholim. So many chesed organizations need manpower – it would be a tremendous zechus for these boys.
More modern day schools pay better, especially if you have a license. TRy Flatbush, HALB, HAFTR etc. Both Rebbeim and teachers deserve top salaries, they are often well-educated dedicated professionals who work very hard. To say that their salaries are causing the tuiition crisis is insulting.